Archive | January, 2014

Cancun – Dolphins Like It Rough

13 Jan

It was raining when we woke up, and it continued to rain for most of the day. On top of that, the wind was gusting. The combination of wind and rain is not what you want to have at a beach resort. Two things entered my mind. First, I wondered how we were going to fill our time. Second, the guy that ran us from our pool chairs can have the ones he wants. The pool was deserted.

My stepdaughter had no trouble finding something to do. She went to the teen lounge and beat all of the guys at pool – the billiard kind. I hope they take that lesson with them through the rest of their lives. Never underestimate women.

My wife and I had to take care of a few things. We had booked a dolphin swim and wanted to postpone it for a day. I went to the booking office and asked if that was possible. The agent said that the session would not be cancelled. If lightning was in the air, then they would postpone it. However, it would never be cancelled. I couldn’t believe it. We had checked the ocean, and it was crazy. When I brought up the fact that it looked bad out there, the agent replied:

“Dolphins like it rough.”

You can’t argue with that.

We did a few other things before the scheduled dolphin excursion. By this time, my stepdaughter decided that she liked beating the guys better than getting in cold water. I decided anything was better than getting in cold water. That meant that my wife was the only one taking the plunge. We got to the waiting area and looked upon the ocean.Cancun 230

Yep, we were going out on that pier. Before the long walk, I took a picture of the brave soul who was going in.Cancun - Dolphins

I was supposed to play the role of photographer and got a few shots before I was told that photography was not allowed. Apparently, they had photos of the experience on sale in the gift shop. The idea of sneaking a few more pictures went away as my bodyguard hovered around. He looked like he had just stepped down from that Mayan pyramid with somebody’s heart in his hand.

I was going to put on this post the few shots I was able to get, but my wife threatened to do the heart ripping out trick if I did that. I thought they looked good. She thought otherwise.

She swam with the dolphins. We bought pictures. Then, we walked back to the room. That’s when she made the statement that she was the daredevil in the family. I pondered that for a second and thought, “Wait a minute. That’s not true.”

There was a zip-lining excursion that I seem to recall. My stepdaughter and I were flying through the trees while my wife had a hard time. I have climbed up the sides of mesas and have been known to climb a waterfall or two. The fact that I am not keen on water where I can’t see the bottom doesn’t mean anything. My stepdaughter and I may not be Evel Knievel’s, but we’re not wimps, either.

Anyway, we hurried back to the room because we had tickets to a show called Cirque Dreams Holidaze. They put Cirque in their name for a reason. It’s not the Las Vegas one, but it was still pretty cool. There were acrobats, jugglers, balancing acts, roller skating pairs. It was a great show. Of course, we had second row seats because we were second level VIP’s.

Oh, there’s one other thing. If you watch the video that I linked, then you will see a guy dressed like a soldiers with a blue hat. The next day, my wife saw him at the pool wearing a Speedo. I think it was the highlight of her trip.

After the show, we had dinner at the Asian-themed restaurant. Everyone said that it was the best one at the resort, and there was a long wait every night. On this night, we made it in, and it turned out to be pretty good. I never thought I would eat sushi in Mexico, but that’s exactly what we did.

Cancun – The Mayans Could Never Have Predicted This

11 Jan

I guess you could say that this day was for me. While traveling, I like to see things that are interesting, and, on this day, we would see Chichen Itza, the Mayan ruins that have been named one of the new Seven Wonders of the World. A while back, I wrote a post about the Wonders that I have seen. Now, this one has been added to the list.Cancun 216

Now that I have looked back on that post, I realize that, last year, my wife and I added another Wonder to the list.

The adventure started out with a little drama. I knew that visiting the ruins was not high on my family’s list of things to do and offered to go by myself. However, my wife said that being that close meant that they should see it. When we told my stepdaughter, she went into a catatonic state while playing Rummy in the lobby. She absolutely did not want to go. She had learned about the Mayans in school and knew that they performed human sacrifices.

If that didn’t freak her out enough, then her teacher talked about her visit to some Mayan ruins. Apparently, her bus had to get on two wheels to keep from falling off a cliff. I don’t know where she went because the interstate we took was pretty smooth.

On Friday morning, we waited for the bus. I was excited, and my stepdaughter was sleepy. I am not sure how my wife felt, but I knew it wasn’t a good feeling when the bus pulled up to get us.Cancun - Bus

I am sure that we all thought the same thing. There was no way we were going to ride all day on that. Luckily, that was just the transportation to get us to the real transportation. Our other bus was nicer. It had bathrooms. They served breakfast. Plus, we had some interesting entertainment. I sat in front of a lady who spilled orange juice all over herself, and I saw behind a man who was, we think, spending his vacation with a male escort.

The trip wasn’t bad. I read a magazine about Pink Floyd and scanned the landscape as it went by. Before long, our guide was telling us all about the mysteries of Chichen Itza. The pyramid was the seat of power; a calendar; and a clock. He talked about the structure and the function of its parts. We walked around it and took pictures as he talked.

That’s when the unexpected happened. I was wearing my Cumberland University Cross Country t-shirt. A man walked up and asked if that was the Cumberland University in Lebanon, Tennessee. I said that it was and introduced myself. It turned out that he lived in Lebanon, too. We chatted for a few minutes, and he went back to his group. However, he came back to tell me that my teenaged nephew had taken his daughter on a date. Apparently, my nephew’s reputation with the opposite sex has gone international.

I think the guide was stunned by those events because he started talking about how aliens may have helped the Mayans. Here we go with the idea that those who were here before Europeans were not smart enough to do this themselves. They must have had help. Ridiculousness.

Anyway, we saw other interesting structures. There was the Temple of the Warriors where the sacrificing of humans took place.Cancun 218

There was the Skull Rack.Cancun 219

There was the Great Ball Court. The guide said that it was the site of theater and games, but no one knows for sure what those consisted of. It is known that this is the largest Mayan Ball Court ever discovered. Only the best performed here.Cancun 221

After spending several hours in historic nirvana, we headed to Valladolid, a Spanish colonial town that was founded in 1543. Along the way, we passed through several towns that were, to my eyes, the definition of poverty. This was what you don’t see at the resorts. Cinderblock houses with no doors. Burned out buildings. Stray dogs on the side of the road. People on the side of the road selling their wares. It looked as if the passing tourists were the only economy, and the tourists rarely stopped.

Valladolid was a bigger town, and every bus stopped there. We disembarked at the plaza, which looked a lot like the plazas I have seen before in Santa Fe, Albuquerque and Sonoma. Without a doubt, the Spanish took the same building plan wherever they went.Cancun 226

Did I mention that it was raining? Anyway, we walked a few blocks to what they called an authentic Mexican restaurant. It wasn’t authentic. It was a buffet that included french fries. It was a decently decorated restaurant, and I found this just past the bathrooms.Cancun 225

After the meal, we walked to a farmacias, but they didn’t have what we were looking for. That’s fine because they say laughter is the best medicine, and what happened next was super funny.

The last stop of the tour was a sinkhole. That’s right. A sinkhole. They said that the Mayans used it for something, but I think they just needed another tourist attraction.Cancun 228

Like everywhere else, there were people around the sinkhole selling their wares. As we walked out, this little girl with big brown eyes walked up to show us what she had. Barefooted. Been in the rain all day. In a sweet voice, my wife said, “No, no. No bueno.”

I thought for a second and said, “What did you say?”

“I said, ‘No, thank you.”

“You didn’t say that. You said that her stuff was no good. You told that little girl that she had bad stuff.”

My wife was mortified. She hadn’t tried to use Spanish the entire trip. Then, she said that. I couldn’t help but laugh. My stepdaughter tried to get her to go back and apologize, but she didn’t know how to say that. Instead, my wife said, “We just need to get on the bus.”

Somewhere in Mexico, there is a little girl traumatized because a lady told her that her stuff wasn’t any good.

After a long ride home, we ended the day with chocolate filled crepes. It was the best thing we had tasted in a while.

It was an awesome day.

Cancun – It’s Irrelevant

9 Jan

Our second day in paradise didn’t start out very well. Apparently, being a second level VIP meant that we had to go through an orientation. In reality, that meant that they wanted to spend some time trying to sell a resort membership. We knew that going in and thought that we could handle it for a while. We couldn’t. I knew we were in trouble when the guy said that he has never sold anything. People always want to buy.

We thought it would be easier if we got to the point. We were not interested in becoming members and nothing he could say would change our minds. That didn’t stop him. He was trained to go through the steps, and he was determined to do it. It was back and forth the entire time. We said that we were not interested, and he would plow ahead. No matter what we said, he would come back with, “It’s irrelevant.” Over and over.

“It’s irrelevant.”

“It’s irrelevant.”

“It’s irrelevant.”

Before my wife choked him, we got away and on with the rest of the day. Later, I saw a sign at the pool and thought, “Why would they put that sign up? It’s irrelevant.”Cancun - Pool

We survived the ordeal and made it back to the room to wake up my stepdaughter. She and my wife went to the pool, and I met them a few minutes later. After getting some food and getting comfortable in our lounge chairs, some guy came up and said they were his chairs. He had gotten up bright and early to claim them.

Now, I’m not an expert in pool etiquette, but it is hard to imagine that you can claim a chair 5 or 6 hours before showing up to use it. After a while, your claim becomes irrelevant. I could be wrong.

We moved to the other side of the pool, and everything turned out fine. We were close to the beach bar for VIP’s, both first level and second level. We were also close to a bunch of people with different accents and different tattoos. I try to learn something everywhere I go, and I learned that the south does not have a monopoly on rednecks. They come from all over the United States.

We also heard an accent that I didn’t anticipate – Australian. There were people from Australia all over the place. Neither my wife nor I could figure out why they were in Cancun. It is summer in Australia, a nation known for its beaches. Yet, they traveled halfway around the globe to visit a beach that can’t be as good as their own. I am sure they had a good time. We just thought it was strange. Hopefully, a few Australian readers can enlighten me.

My wife and I were pondering the mysteries of visitors to Cancun, but my stepdaughter wanted to play beach volleyball. Not the 6 on 6 kind. The 2 on 2 kind that they play in the Olympics. She and I went undefeated. That’s right. Karch Kiraly and the rest of those guys have nothing on me.

There are no pictures to prove my beach volleyball prowess, but my wife took a picture of her daughter while I was recovering just out of the camera’s view.Cancun - Volleyball

While I basked in the glory of victory and checked to make sure I didn’t pull anything, I also watched the people around us. There was a serious game of volleyball going on next door. There was a young senorita trying to do yoga in front of us. There were waitresses and other workers going back and forth.

I have been to a couple of resorts similar to this one. Jamaica. Costa Rica. Now, Mexico. I always wonder what the workers think about us. What do they think about us spending the money to travel? What do they think about the food and drinks that we throw away? What do they think about our conspicuous consumption?

I don’t know the answers to those questions, but that’s some of the stuff that goes through my mind. The guy we met with might say, “It’s irrelevant.” Personally, I don’t think that’s true.

Cancun – Like Dogs in a Cage

7 Jan

We were awake at 3:30 in the morning on New Year’s Day. Admittedly, I have been up at that time on that day before, but I have never done it this way. I went to bed at 11:00 and woke up at 3:30 to get to the airport. This was the beginning of our Cancun adventure.

I don’t remember much from that morning, but a few things have stuck in my mind. One was my wife telling me to watch out for drunk drivers. The other was not seeing any kind of driver for a long time. If you want to feel like Charlton Heston in The Omega Man, then you should drive around at that time of the morning on New Year’s Day. Oh, there’s one other thing I remember. The whole family – me, my wife and my stepdaughter – ate black-eyed peas and hog jowl for good luck. Around here, that’s a tradition.

We made it to the airport without running into any drunk drivers or mutants and had a good flight to Cancun. I tried to sleep on the flight, but that was an impossible task. I can never do that. My family, however, does not seem to have that problem.Cancun - Plane

Once we landed, the situation became more hectic. We had to make our way through immigration before looking for our transportation. We had directions to where our ride was going to be and made it there easily. However, there was no ride and no record of us needing a ride. After some quick negotiating by my wife, we were provided a driver to get us to the Moon Palace Resort. Before we could leave, he rounded up some other passengers.

One couple was from New Jersey. At least, that’s what their accents sounded like. I hate to stereotype, but they were stereotypical. He was kind of a round guy who stepped off the set of The Sopranos, and she was a little mouthy. While we waited for the driver, she started complaining about having to wait in the backseat and said something about us being treated like caged dogs. We had been on the van for about 2 minutes.

Luckily, we were the first ones to reach our destination, but it was not without incident. Our driver made a wrong turn and headed to the lobby on the sidewalk. I have only seen one other person do that, and you have read about him before.

The bellhop took our bags and led us into the lobby. It was a nice lobby that I hung out in quite a bit, so I am not being mean when I say this. When I first walked in, I felt like I had been dropped into the middle of an Elvis movie. You know – one of those where he works at a beach resort.Cancun - Lobby

They directed us to the VIP Check In. Yes, we were VIP’s for a few days. However, they told us that the room would not be ready for a couple of hours. I guess we were second level VIP’s. We ate at the buffet and tried to book some excursions. That didn’t work because we didn’t have a room number. We hung around until a room came open. It was a good room. It was close to everything and had a jacuzzi tub next to one of the beds. It also had a hammock on the deck. I would use it in the future.

After getting everything packed, my wife and stepdaughter made a beeline for the pool and the beach. I made a beeline for the bed because I didn’t get all cozy on the airplane. After a few hours of relaxation, my wife and I went to the steakhouse by the beach where we had some good food and some good conversation. That’s also where the waiter called me Ricardo.

For the rest of the story, tune in again. Same Cancun Time. Same Cancun Channel.