WARNING: THIS POST MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME PEOPLE! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
A few weeks ago, my nephew and I were at a football game when he asked a simple question.
Why are you wearing sandals?
Unfortunately, that simple question did not have a simple answer. If I could boil the answer down to one sentence, then I would say, “Because I like socks.”
Allow me to explain.
I know that my wife would like for me to wear loafers with shorts. However, I cannot bring myself to do it because of something that happened in my childhood. My dad had a friend who wore loafers with shorts, and I thought it was the strangest looking thing I had ever seen. It got more strange when he took them off. His feet were swollen, blistered and caked with dead skin. In my mind, I knew what was up. If he had been wearing socks, then his feet would not be destroyed.
Shoes that encompass feet are meant to be worn with socks. If that was not the case, then socks would have not been invented. I like to wear socks with shoes. I also like to wear socks around the house. Rarely do I go around barefoot. Do you know why? Because that is how feet end up swollen, blistered and caked with dead skin.
When we were dating, my wife really wanted me to wear loafers with shorts. She thinks it looks good. I do not agree, but I was willing to give it a try. Coincidentally, that same night we had the biggest fight ever. I acted like a fool, and I am certain that the shoes played a huge role. I did not like the look, and I definitely did not like the fact that my feet were swollen, blistered and caked with dead skin.
I understand that a lot of guys like the look and the feel of wearing loafers without socks. There are a ton of guys I know who do it all of the time. I just do not know why.
The other day, we were tailgating at a Tennessee Titans game, and one of the tailgaters was wearing sneakers with socks. Before going into the stadium, he took them off and slipped on loafers. One word entered my mind.
Why?
His situation brings me to another point. For a while, I tried to get by with wearing some high dollar running shoes with shorts. They are super comfortable, and I wore socks that did not go above the shoe line. In my mind, this was a good compromise. However, the next time we went shopping my wife pointed out a pair of sandals. It turns out that they are a better compromise, and that is why I was wearing them to the football game. They encompass my feet, but the airiness makes the socklessness bearable.
All of that is well and good, but this post is about more than socks. The entire issue about the shoes is created by the issue of wearing shorts. That is why people can see if there are socks or no socks.
When it comes to shorts, I must make a confession. I like wearing long pants a lot better. This probably comes from the fact that my dad – the man I respect and admire more than any other – has never worn shorts. At least, if he has, then I have never seen it. For years, his comfort clothes of choice were khaki pants and Hushpuppy shoes – with socks. That probably shaped my opinion that men should wear long pants. As a result, I wore long pants, and they became my most comfortable clothes. While most people put on shorts or pajamas to lie around the house, I wear jeans…and socks.
When I talk to my wife about the uncomfortable aspects of wearing shoes without socks, she counters with the argument that women have to wear uncomfortable shoes. In other words, we all have to sacrifice.
I agree and have an idea of how men can sacrifice just like women have to sacrifice.
Instead of going around without socks and wearing shorts, men should dress more manly by wearing long pants and shoes with socks.
Wyatt Earp never wore loafers and shorts.
George Patton never wore loafers and shorts.
Genghis Khan never wore loafers and shorts.
The list goes on and on.
Anyway, the issue is solved. Women have to sacrifice for fashion, and men should do the same by wearing long pants and socks. The fact that those things are more comfortable for me has no bearing on the situation.
Tags: Genghis Khan, George Patton, Hushpuppy Shoes, Long Pants, Rambling Ruminations, Socks, Stupid Stuff, Tennessee Titans, Wyatt Earp