Tag Archives: Academics

Tales of the Blue Chairs

7 May

My office sits at the end of a hallway and would be considered by many to be in an out-of-the-way corner where little activity takes place. I mean that’s what I thought when I first moved into it. That’s why I picked it. No one would be walking by. There wouldn’t be much noise. The only ones who would come back there would be doing it for business purposes only. However, the decorators decided to put three blue chairs a few feet away from my door.

Through the years, the blue chairs have become a popular spot for people waiting for class. More often than not, people work on their computer; study for a test; read a book; or sleep. In short, they are doing the things that college students do. But, there are times when things change and the atmosphere becomes conversational. Groups gather before class and talk about things that college students talk about. That’s not surprising.

The surprise is that the conversations go on like I am not even there. It’s like they think there is an invisible force field in the door frame that stops sound from entering my office. Or, they think I am deaf, but I am not the deaf teacher. Or, maybe they don’t care what I hear. No matter the case, I hear a lot.

From my office, I have heard relationships fall apart – either in person or by phone. Several years ago, one older student had a profanity-laced screaming match with her boyfriend. I have also heard people talk about how terrible their relationships are. The whole time I am thinking that if you don’t know how to get out of a bad relationship now, then you have a tough row to hoe.

I have also heard complaints about teachers, coaches and other figures of authority. Admittedly, this surprises me the most. After all, I am a member of the group that they are talking about. This teacher isn’t fair. That teachers sucks. My coach is an idiot, and the other coaches laugh at him. It goes on and on. And, guess what. They also talk about ME! Outside of my office! While I am sitting there!

That’s serious stuff. When people are caught in bad relationships and discuss the faults of their teachers, they are hitting topics that are important. However, a lot of times it gets comical. I have heard about the plans for huge parties and about parties that have already happened. I have heard students laugh, joke and reveal the fun aspects of college. They talk about movies, music and other topics that are important to them. Honestly, it helps me keep up to date and be able to talk to them about things they consider important.

When they put the blue chairs outside my office door, I was not very happy. I thought it was going to break down the walls of my fortress of solitude. I was right, but I am glad that it happened. I have access to information that tunes me into the psyche of our students and provides me with information on the happenings of campus. This is valuable information that I can use to relate better with the students and, hopefully, educate them better. It will also help me when I take over the world. Every good leader should know the hearts and souls of his people.

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Things I Have Learned During Finals Week

4 May

Today, my colleague in the historian’s craft posted a great piece about the most memorable answer he has seen on a final exam. It is a very funny story, and you should check it out. (Yes, funny stuff happens in the world of academics. In fact, it happens all the time.) There is no way I can top that answer, but it made me think about some of the things I have seen through the countless final exams weeks of my life.

Final exams are the culmination of months of learning by the students. It is when they take the information they have absorbed and prove that some of it stuck. But, final exam week holds a deep secret in the dark corridors of the ivory towers. It is a time for the faculty to learn something as well. Through years of grading tests and seeing people operate in the stressful environment of the last week of school, I have learned quite a bit. This is a serious and not-so-serious list of the information that I have absorbed.

(Due to federal requirements, the events that I describe are HISTORY and not the PRESENT.)

Being within 3 points of an A means that a student should get an A. (After all, close counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.)

Al Capone ran for president of the United States in 1928. (I don’t know why. He was already richer and more powerful.)

Extra Credit should be given after the semester is over. (Especially if it provides the 3 points needed for an A.)

Even I, the great and powerful, can miscalculate sometimes. (I know. It’s hard for me to believe, too.)

On December 7, 1941, “a date that will live in infamy”, the empire of Japan attacked Alaska. (There wasn’t much happening in Hawaii.)

Mothers can get vicious about grades. (Even after their children have reached adulthood.)

The bookstore folks get really stressed out during finals week. (I really didn’t think they had much going with books being returned; people picking up graduation regalia; and everything else.)

Students realize they have scholarships. (And a bad grade may make that scholarship disappear.)

Franklin Roosevelt was blind when he was elected president. (I realize how someone would think this. Have you seen Eleanor?)

Retirement is bittersweet. (It’s tough to watch people leave something that they have been doing for decades.)

Speakeasies have never existed. (Maybe Al Capone wasn’t so rich and powerful after all.)

People worry about the length of the graduation ceremony. (Guys, be happy you made it and stop worrying.)

Almost everyone shows up to take their final exam. (It’s amazing really. People that you haven’t seen in months suddenly show up. It’s like the return of Gilligan or something.)

The student affairs folks already plan for next semester. (They do that. I promise. It’s like people are really on the ball.)

Napoleon Bonaparte was an American who traveled to France to help with the revolution. (I knew he was too ambitious to be French.)

Alexander Graham Bell is my ancestor. (Oh, how I wish that were true.)

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Picture This – Bobcat Bite

27 Feb

Each May, myself and a few other professors (Dave, Fred and Pete) take students on a field trip to Santa Fe, New Mexico. Over a span of two weeks, we explore the surrounding area and provide the students with information in our fields of study. Dave, a business professor, talks about the economy of the region and how it changed during the centuries. Fred, an anthropologist, specializes in Native American cultures and oversees the trip. Pete, a biologist, tells us about the land, plants and animals of the area. I, as the historian, attempt to bring all of this together and tell the story of the region and its people.

However, eating is the highlight of the trip for all of us. We hit some of the best restaurants in Santa Fe and Albuquerque in an attempt to introduce the students to fine New Mexican cuisine. They think good Mexican food can be found at Taco Bell and the millions of locally owned Mexican restaurants in our area. I am convinced they are all owned by the same person because they all have the Speedy Gonzales special. At any rate, when they get back to Tennessee their taste buds have been spoiled with real peppers, sauces, tamales, burritos…the list goes on and on.

With that being said, one of our favorite places doesn’t serve Mexican food, from New or Old Mexico. In business since the 1950s, Bobcat Bite is a small, pink building on the outskirts of Santa Fe that hides heaven within its walls. In the picture, that’s me and Dave salivating before we go in. And, what’s waiting for us inside? Green chile cheeseburgers. These are 10 ounces of ground beef covered with cheese and drowned in green chile sauce. I don’t even have the words to describe how delicious it is. All I know is that it is so good that we go more than once on our trips.

The restaurant has been featured in GQ, Bon Appetit, and Travel and Leisure. But, I don’t have to read those articles to know what to do after I write my name on the chalkboard (being small there is usually a wait). With a little luck, I will get a seat at the lunch counter with a view at the surrounding mountains. From here, there is also a view of the kitchen and the wonderful things happening back there. Then, I order the cheeseburger that I described and an order of fries. They also have steaks, but that really isn’t the point. When the goodness is placed in front of me, I dig in and enter hamburger, cheese, green chile and grease paradise.

If you ever find yourself in Santa Fe, then do yourself a favor and head to Bobcat Bite. Get a cool t-shirt while you are there.

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Your Assignment…Should You Choose to Accept

27 Jan

This semester I have the good fortune of teaching my favorite class, a history of the American West. This is my major area of study, and I get a kick out of talking about all of the things I have researched and written about. However, it needs to be fun for the students as well. I believe that many historians do a wonderful job of making an interesting topic as boring as possible, and I attempt the opposite. History is fun for me, and I want the students to have the same experience.

Several years ago, I developed something that the students call the “Movie Assignment”. They watch a movie based within the time period we are discussing and compare it to actual events. The scenery and action of the films provide them with a visual clue of what may have been like, and the story often gives them an idea of life itself. Obviously, not all movies are appropriate for this type of activity. Pearl Harbor may have been the dumbest plot ever written. Therefore, World War II class did not get the option to watch it. They got movies with deeper meanings and more of a foundation in reality.

In the American West, students have the pleasure of watching films from my favorite genre. Except, there is a different aspect to the assignment. Western settings have long been used to offer more contemporary lessons. Think of it as the Mt. Olympus of the United States. It is the place with myths are made, and flawed heroes face decisions with no correct answers. To get the students on the right path, I recently assigned each of them a movie to watch. We haven’t discussed what they should look for because I want them to watch the movies for enjoyment first. This post lists the movies and why I chose them. If you get the chance to watch them, then perhaps these are things you can look for.

1. Rango– I know, it’s a cartoon. However, it pays homage to westerns throughout the decades. Watching closely, you can pick up small details that bring to mind the great western movies and western actors. Besides, how can a movie be bad when “The Man With No Name” shows up as the Spirit of the West. I only that the original “Man With No Name” could have been used to voice the character.

2. The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance – “This is the West, sir. When legend becomes fact, print the legend.” One of the great lines in western history and an statement that describes how difficult it is for historians to dig through the legend to get to the fact. This film is filled with symbolism, as each character represents an aspect of the “taming of the frontier” experience.

3. Fort Apache – The second John Ford/John Wayne movie on the list (TMWSLV was the first), this is one of the first movies to show Native Americans in a positive light. It takes real battles of the Indian Wars and combines them into a fictional one. In the process, it shows the misguided policies of the United States toward native peoples. This could be relavent for a lot of times in history – Indian Wars, Vietnam War, Gulf War.

4. The Searchers – The third John Ford/ John Wayne installment (I promise that they don’t make up the entire list) is an epic about a man searching for his niece, who was kidnapped by Indians. It shows his maniacal racism toward these people and how it increases throughout the film. Most of the underlying currents were missed by the audiences of the time, but they come to light as the years pass.

5. The Magnificent Seven – A remake of the Japanese film, The Seven Samurai, this movie was had a compliation cast of stars in an action packed adventure. However, many don’t realize that the original Japanese film was a western placed in a different time and place. So, a western copied a foreign film that copied a western storyline. This shows that the themes of the western genre are actually universal.

6. Dances With Wolves – The Kevin Costner movie won the Academy Award for Best Picture. did you know it’s more popular “remake” lost the same award? Avatar has made more money than any movie in history, but it should be renamed to Dances With Aliens. It’s the same storyline. Watch them back to back and see what I mean. This shows that the western never disappeared. It simply got better graphics and tuend into Sci-Fi. For example, Gene Roddenberry was a writer for Wagon Train when he pitched Star Trek as “Wagon Train to the stars”. And , can’t you picture the black-hatted darth vader as a cattle baron building his empire on the backs of settlers (before the later movies became some convuluted political statement)? Also, when Luke returns to find his uncle’s homestead burning, it reflects Ethan Edwards returning to find his brother’s homestead burning in The Searchers.

7. Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid – Sam Peckipah uses this movie to depict his idea of the destruction of the American west. Look at all of the western character actors that are killed or shown in stages of degeneration. Peckinpah’s version of western history is inaccurate, but his portrayal of the disappearing frontier is poignant. Plus, Slim Pickens dies with Bob Dylan singing “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door”. The best dying scene ever.

8. The Outlaw Josey Wales – There should be a law that says everyone has to watch this movie once a year. Josey sees his life ripped apart by the ravages of war. In response, he becomes a gunfighter to reap revenge on those who killed his family. Along the way, he picks up a surrogate family of people who have seen their lives destroyed by violence and hardship. It turns out that the “loner” isn’t alone after all. Filmed in the mid-1970s, the Civil War and its aftermath can easily be seen as the Vietnam War.

9. Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee – An attempt to depict the plight of Native Americans as they saw their lifestyle and land taken away. It is a noble attempt. Unfortunately, there are a lot of inaccuracies. The Native American story needs to be told and can be told in an accurate and informative way. This movie, in an attempt to tell the other side of the story, goes to far the other direction. As in all conflicts and clashes of cultures, there are good and bad people on both sides. Portraying that inaccurately takes the meaning away from all of them. On top of that, the portrayal of the Battle of Little Big Horn is shameful.

10. High Noon – This movie is not exciting at all. And, I cringed each time I see the sheriff ask for help. However, there is a reason he does. This movie places real life events in another setting as the sheriff represents those victimized by the House on Un-American Activities Committee that was led by Joseph McCarthy. Audiences of the time would never watcha movie about a supposed communist, but they would watch a movie about a sheriff in trouble.

11. Jeremiah Johnson – Based on an actual mountain man, Robert Redford shows the harshness of life as a Rocky Mountains trapper. There are accuracies and inaccuracies, but the overall story is true to the experience. The scenery is fantastic and the dialogue is witty and appropriate. Under the current, you find the story of a man who tries to run away from civilization only to find that it is never far away.

12. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly – A western about the Civil War in New Mexico that was filmed in Europe. What else can I say? When it came out, many movie critics panned it because everyone knows that the Civil War took place in the east. Wrong. It is based on a reall mission to capture what is now New Mexico. This movie shows how westerns influenced film makers in other countries and how they, in turn, influenced the genre and the view on the region’s history. Also, the musical score is the best of any western ever. And, an American didn’t compose it. Weird for those people who believe the west is all about independence and the American ideal. It wasn’t about that at all.

So, there is the list for my students. Can you think of any other movies I should have used instead? Do you think my students will stumble upon this in their research. If they ever get away from Wikipedia that is.

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Syllabus, Syllabus

9 Jan

“From a little after two oclock until almost sundown of the long still hot weary dead September afternoon they sat in what Miss Coldfield still called the office because her father had called it that – a dim hot airless room….” Wait, that is the beginning of that other boring document by William Faulkner called “Absalom, Absalom”. The boring document I am blogging about is called “Syllabus, Syllabus”, in my opinion the worst chore for a member of a university faculty. And, it gets worse every semester.

When I began teaching a decade ago, I had no idea how to put together a syllabus. I had received a few in my student days but never realized what was in them. I paid attention to the assignments and the days they were due. Simple, right? Well, it is not as simple from the other end. My first syllabi were straight copies from another teacher. They had worked well for him through the years, and he figured they would work for me as well. And, they did. I looked at one a few hours ago and was stunned by its simplicity.

Contact information at the top.

A sentence about the course content.

An attendance statement (He didn’t count off for missing classes, and I have followed his example. However, he NEVER wanted anyone to show up late. At class time, he locked the door. Unfortunately, I can’t do that.)

A detailed description of the assignments and when they were due.

A grade scale.

That’s it. The syllabus took up 1 1/2 pages and provided everyone with the information they needed. Now, it isn’t that simple because the university has several items that they force us to put in. Most of it is federally regulated. Another example of the federal government getting out of control. I know the day will never come when the government decides to stay out of our daily lives, but one can hope.

That’s problem enough. However, the biggest problem is that federal guidelines and the university response to them changes all the time. In our meetings last week, we were told to put certain items in our syllabi that were completely different from what they told us last semester. Personally, I blame Franklin Roosevelt because he started these government shenanigans. At any rate, I just finished a couple of syllabi and thought some of you might get some blog-reading entertainment out of it.

The first part is simple and straightforward. At least, I think it is. To make sure that it is, I go over it with the class.

Name of the course. (It’s hard to believe how many people walk out during this part when they realize they are in the wrong place. A few more just stay to the end, so they won’t look stupid. That would probably be my choice. Even worse, last semester I had a kid come to class on the wrong day after we had been going for a month.. He sat through the whole thing and even asked a question.)

My office location. (It’s across the hall. I tell them that, and they still can’t find it. Hell, just ask someone where the office with the whores on the walls is.)

Course description. (By now, one person has gone to sleep)

Book for the course. (In one of my classes I use “Devil in the White City”. A few years ago the bookstore lady told me that a couple of African-American students said they were not reading a racist book. They thought “white city” meant white-ruled society, and they were being called “the devil”. It’s actually about the Columbian Exposition of 1893 and the serial killer that stalks its visitors.)

Attendance. (There is a four-paragraph official statement that we have to include. Simply, it says you have to go to class. After that, I put my own mark on it in all capital letters. DO NOT ENTER THIS CLASS LATE!!! It doesn’t work.

My tardiness. (If I am fifteen minutes late, then class is cancelled. I’ve never done it, but I had a teacher do it once. At fifteen minutes we stormed out of the room, and one of the kids ran over him on the stairs. The teacher was pissed off. But, you know what they say. It’s better to be pissed off than pissed on. Unless, you are into that kind of thing.)

Cell phone policy. (Teachers hate cell phones more than anything. Students always stick it between their legs and text. They think we can’t see. I always say that I don’t know what they are doing with their hand moving in their lap, but they probably shouldn’t be doing it in class.)

Conversing. (That’s a fancy word for talking and bothering me in class.)

Computer/iPad policy. (Last year, the university started giving iPads to incoming Freshmen. We also brag about being Tennessee’s first wireless campus. iPad + wireless campus = Angry Birds and Facebook in my class. I don’t allow them to be out.)

Learning disabilities statement. (This is one of the federal mandates, and I know that it is important. We have a paragraph informing students that if they have a disability, then they need to talk to our services coordinator. If I needed to talk to her, then I would. However, many people don’t and wait until the end of the semester to say something. That causes some real issues.)

Cheating policy. (This is a huge problem in higher education that all universities are trying to combat. We have developed a tracking system to find habitual offenders. Cheating comes in several forms. Plagiarism is easy to spot. The difficulty is discovering cheating on tests. There are some imaginative ways out there. If people put as much effort into studying as they do cheating techniques, then they might not need to cheat. We also have an honor code, and students have to sign a book in symbolism. It looks like the Hogwarts Book of Magic. I don’t think it works.)

Grade scale. (This is where I would really pay attention if I was a student. These are the numbers that measure your success. However, I am shocked at the end of the semester when students ask why they got a B or something. They have seen their grades and can average them as well as I can. But, they never understand what happened.)

Assignments. (Now, this is where my ears would perk up. I lay out everything in detail. What to do. How to type. Font. Double-spaced. Margins. Everything. I always have people use bigger font to take up more pages. There is always one person that single-spaces. Then, someone else will quadruple-space. I spend all my time grading those kinds of issues. On the first day of class, I say that if you follow my instructions you will pass. Many are snoring by this time.)

Chain of command. (Another statement forced on us by the school. We have to write the chain of command for student complaints. From me, to my dean, to the VP of academic affairs, and all the way to the president. I have one going up the chain now because he thinks he is supposed to get an A for being him.)

Due dates. (Another instance where I would listen. They are given the dates that tests will take place and assignments are due. I take no assignments late. This is 2012, but I know the Mayan prophecies are wrong. The end of the world will not be December 21 because it always happens on assignment day. Computers crash. Printers run out of ink. Grandmothers die. People go to the hospital. Traffic jams are everywhere. Pestilence has spread across the land. Barbarians are at the gates. It is the end of the world.)

And, that is the end of this blog. I hope “Syllabus, Syllabus” was more exciting than “Absalom, Absalom”.

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A Historian’s Office

6 Jan

Two days of constant meetings have melted my mind, and the only sounds I can hear over the drone of voices are my brain cells screaming as they leap to their deaths. As I sit in my office in an attempt to recover, I  can’t think of anything clever or interesting to write about. Therefore, I am going to take the easy way out and describe what I see – my office.

My office has turned into a popular hangout on campus, and I sometimes describe it as the El Paso train station. People are always coming and going. Students and teachers drop by to visit on a regular basis, and they often comment on the things I have scattered about. Of course, that is once they get past the darkness of it all. I keep all lights off except for one desk lamp. I have been accused of being a vampire; of trying to be mysterious; and of being a cave-dweller. I usually reply that I do my best work in the dark, but the truth is that the bigger lights hurt my eyes. Whatever the complaints and smart comments, people must like my office because someone is always in it.

With that in mind, I am going to attempt this blog experiment to test my descriptive skills. I am going to sit at my desk and describe the things I can see. We will do this in categories.

Category 1 – Wall Hangings

As I look to my left, there are four things hanging on the wall.

1. An old print of a cattle drive that I stole out of one of the classrooms. The teacher in that room is a Native American, so I figured he didn’t want cowboys in there anyway. Two cowboys are riding hard to stop a stampede that began with a lightning storm.

2. A photograph of Ulysses S. Grant. It is an iconic photo of the general as he leans against a tree. The best part is his original signature that is matted underneath.

3. A collection of Confederate money. There are six Confederate bills – One, Two, Five, Ten, Twenty, Fifty – matted and framed. There are a lot of Sons of Confederate Veterans members around here who wish the money was still good.

4. A photograph of Adolph Hitler and a Nazi arm band. It is a typical picture of the tyrant in civilian clothes. Like the photo of Grant, the most interesting part of this item is the document included with his original signature. I explain to everyone that I am not a Nazi. I simply think it is a remarkable piece of history.

Now, I move to the wall in front of me.

1. Above the door, there hangs a panoramic of the Tennessee Maneuvers. When the U.S. entered World War II, the military believed that troops needed to be seasoned with war games before going to Europe. Tennessee is geographically similar to where they were going, and the area was selected for that purpose. My university was chosen as the headquarters, as troops fought battles; liberated cities; and built bridges across rivers.

2. A plaque given to me after serving as honorary coach for our men’s basketball team. It was a resounding victory.

3. A plaque given to me in recognition for serving on the community council of a local bank.

4. A plaque given to me as the “Most Outstanding Faculty Member” for last year. I was proud of this because I beat my mentor before he retired. He had won the award a million years in a row.

5. A certificate honoring me as a Colonel Aide de Camp for the governor of Tennessee. They pass these things out like candy. It is the same certificate given to Harlan Sanders in Kentucky. He wasn’t a real colonel. He was  a fake one like me.

6. A drawing of the old county courthouse. It was consistently voted the ugliest courthouse in Tennessee and was demolished before I was born.

I hope this is not getting monotonous. On to the wall on my right.

1. My favorite plaque. It reads, “On This Site In 1897 Nothing Happened”. I got it at the Longwood Plantation in Natchez, Mississippi. Some of you may know it better as the home of the king of Mississippi in “True Blood”.

2. A license of prostitution given to Rosita del Oro in 1876. This probably attracts the males to my office because it is included with a photograph of a nude woman playing a harp.

3. The next item covers a lot of the wall. I took a lot of pictures of the Dumas Brothel when I researched it in Butte, Montana. Upon my return, I had a local artist paint a few of the photographs. This one depicts the interior of a crib, a one room shack that prostitutes would work out of. A woman is sitting by the window in an attempt to draw customers. I will blog more later about the women of the cribs.

Finally, the wall behind me.

1. Another painting of the Dumas depicts the outside of the building. It is a two-story brick building that the artist placed in a Victorian setting. I am not real happy about the woman in the window. She looks a lot like Morticia Addams.

Category 2 – Filing Cabinet Decor

1. A magnetic fish with legs and Darwin written inside of it. I picked it up in Santa Fe and have to hide it when my parents come around.

2. A sticker of George Washington with a dialogue bubble that says, “I grew hemp.” I believe he was the largest producer in the colonies.

3. A magnetic voodoo doll that I bought in New Orleans. I haven’t tried it out yet, but people better watch out.

4. A bumper sticker with an alien on it that says, “You Don’t Scare Me. I’m A Teacher!” It came from the UFO Museum in Roswell, New Mexico, one of the greatest museums ever.

5. On top of the cabinet sits an original World War I German helmet – the kind with the spike on top. They would jab it into the ground and use it as a cooking pot. They used it as another got of pot as well. You can use your imagination.

Category 3 – Bookshelf Without Books

Top shelf first.

1. A miniature of the Roman Coliseum. I got it in Rome.

2. A candle from the San Xavier del Bac in Tucson, Arizona. An ex-girlfriend got it for me, and I finally visited the site last year.

3. A model of the Mayflower, the boat filled with pilgrims searching for religious freedom. Ugh. The real story of the Mayflower is a lot more interesting.

4. Two bobbleheads. One is a sheik wearing sunglasses. The other is a Muslim woman wearing an abaya. This is not an attempt at a political or religious statement. They were given to me by an ex-girlfriend who moved to the UAE. They sold them. She bought them. I displayed them.

Next shelf.

1. A textbook on Western Civilization. This is very outdated.

2. A book called, “Pauline’s: Memories of the Madam on Clay Street”. It was given to me by the university president and chronicles the life of a madam in Bowling Green, Kentucky.

3. Another book titled, “Life of Tom Horn”. He was a prominent figure in the cattle wars of Wyoming. Bad ending, they hung him.

4. And another book called, “Intimate Papers of Colonel House”. I have not read this. It is an old book gifted to me by a professor who passed away.

5. A little set of nuns and priests playing poker. This is from the same ex-girlfriend who gave the candle to me. These little guys came from Italy. I wouldn’t want to sit across the table from any one of them.

5. Along side those things is my Masters thesis about prostitution in mining camps of the American West. I don’t have much to say about this, except that I finished it.

The bottom shelf (I know. Thank God!)

1. A replica of a statue on campus. It was built to honor the laborers who built my building during the Great Depression. It is meant to symbolize the New Deal and other aspects of the era. Unfortunately, it is out of proportion and looks like a midget.

2. A brick from this building that was dislodged during renovation. It was originally laid in 1936 and looks like it.

3. A beer stein decorated with John Wayne pictures. I can’t help it. John Wayne is my all time favorite actor. Inside the stein, I placed glass sunflowers that a weird female student once gave me. Don’t ask.

I suppose this should end, but I can’t describe a historian’s office without listing a few books. We all have to have books. So, I will name the first book I see on each shelf.

Category 4 – Books

1. “Soiled Doves: Prostitution in the Early West” by Anne Seagraves

2. “The Pueblo Revolt of 1680: Conquest and Resistance in Seventeenth-Century New Mexico” by Andrew L. Knaut

3. “Parlor Politics: In Which the Ladies of Washington Help Build a City and a Government” by Catherine Allgor

4. “Authenticated History of the Bell Witch, and Other Stories of the World’s Greatest Unexplained Phenomenon” by M.V. Ingram

5. “Awash in a Sea of Faith: Christianizing the American People” by Jon Butler

6. “Mining Town: The Photographic Record of T.N. Barnard and Nellie Stockbridge from the Couer d’Alenes” by Patricia Hart and Ivar Nelson

Thankfully, that’s it. Oh, you may be wondering about my desk. Classes haven’t started yet, so there is nothing on it except sunglasses and a lamp.

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Of Red Lights and Research

19 Dec

When I began my career as a graduate student in History, I knew that I wanted to focus on the American West. While popular culture has developed the myth of the lone rider traveling the region with absolute freedom, I realized that the truth was more complicated than that. People who went into the West were not looking for freedom. They were looking for economic opportunity. Therefore, I became interested in the economic aspects of the West rather than the typical subjects, such as gunfighters and outlaws. Of course, economics encompasses a great deal, and I was informed by my guiding professor that some limitation were in order. Then, the following transpired.

I would like to study the cattle industry.

There’s already a lot of research on that. What else are you interested in?

The mining industry was huge. How about that?

That’s been done to death, too.

Ok, what about the lumber industry?

That won’t work either.

(This is when I realized that I should go ahead and ask him what I should do.)

Ok, what should I do?

Did you ever think about researching prostitution? People are just not starting to look into it.

Sounds great to me. Thanks.

With that short conversation, I began life as an expert on prostitution in the American West. Through the years, I have read, researched, written and spoken about the economics of prostitution in the West and the everyday lives of the people involved in the industry. When people (especially men) find out about what I know about, they immediately start in. What are the brothels in Nevada like? Leave it to you to study whores. Ever study the whores on Dickerson Road (a notorious spot in Nashville)? I am left to explain that I have conducted scholarly research about dead prostitutes – not ones that are currently working. And, I did not choose the topic because I am a pervert. With this in mind, here is a synopsis of my life as a historian of prostitution in the West.

I went to graduate school in Tennessee, and my fellow students said only I would choose a topic halfway across the continent to research. People usually research something more conveniently located. However, I was not going to pick the Civil War or Andrew Jackson over the American West. I read all I could locally but knew that I would eventually have to travel. Luckily, I found two brothel museums fairly close together. The first was the Dumas Brothel in Butte, Montana. I spent several weeks in Butte and came to know the city quite well. Actually, there’s not much to know. I spent a lot of time at the Dumas, the archives and the Denny’s. I met some great people who helped me considerably and learned a great deal about the history of the city and of the Red Light District.

Wallace, Idaho sits just over the Idaho/Montana border and was home to the second museum, the Oasis Rooms. I only spent a few days in Wallace, but the people there were more than helpful. I took some great pictures and got some greater information.

With the information gathered from these locations and documents about the industry throughout the West, I was able to write a concise history about prostitution. In the midst of getting my graduate degree, I was hired at my current teaching position. As a new faculty member, students had no idea what to expect. Honestly, I had no idea what to expect either. But, I was determined not to let the research go to waste. I was going to talk about whoredom every chance I got. The first class was stunned when I gave the lecture on the 19th Century sex industry, and it was not long before word got around. I was the cool teacher that studied prostitutes instead of something uncool like regular History. From then until now, my classes constantly fill, and my office is always busy. They come by to see the photographs of prostitutes and the paintings of brothels on my walls.

As a small university, we are also expected to speak to community groups and perform other types of community service. This has created some interesting speeches for me. I am a member of the local Rotary Club and was asked to speak when I first joined. They insisted that I talk about my research. I tried to warn them that it wasn’t all fuzzy stories about Miss Kitty and the “whore with the heart of gold”, and they said it was fine. So, I gave them all the gory details. I think half of the audience was gone by the time I was finished, as several women walked out in disgust. Interestingly, no men left. I learned something that day. While people say they want to know history, they would rather not know the darker sides of the subject. I toned down the presentation after that experience.

Many people think that if I know about prostitution in the 19th Century American West, then I also know about prostitution at all other times as places. A retired colleague thought that and told the Daughters of the American Revolution that I would speak to them. When I said that they probably know more about the revolution than I do, he replied that I should talk about prostitution. I knew nothing about prostitution in the American Revolution, so I did some research. But, with the Rotary experience behind me, I was nervous about talking to a room full of elderly women. To make it go smoother, I used a historical code word – camp-followers – instead of a more descriptive term. As I spoke, I heard the following conversation between told ladies in the back.

What’s he talking about?

Camp-followers.

What?

Camp-followers.

What?

HE’S TALKING ABOUT WHORES!!!

Oh, now I understand.

So, now I am famous in my little town as the expert on whores. An older man in town, who has since passed away, came to me with a book that he had read about a madam in New Mexico. He had found a name in it that he recognized – mine. I was used as a footnote in the introduction, which was written by the professor who sent me on the journey through the Red Light Districts. I was proud to see my name in print and, for the first time, felt like a real historian. I bought a copy for my parents. They looked at it, and my mom said, “All those years of study, and you are in a book with a picture of a naked women on the front of it.”

Yep, I had made it.

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This Day in Academics

29 Nov

This is the last week before final exams, and the end-of-semester pressures are causing weird things to happen. The morning began normally. I read over lecture notes in my office as my work-study texted her boyfriend. I also snacked on the peanut butter balls that she cooked over Thanksgiving break. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the teacher in the neighboring office limp by with a walking cane. It turns out that he went to a Wynonna Judd concert the night before and slipped on the wet pavement as he was walking out. He assured me that the libations of the evening had nothing to do with his lack of balance. I considered it an honor that he told me half of the truth because I heard him tell another teacher that he broke his foot saving his neighbor’s dog from a fire.

My first class went off without a hitch, but the second class went total “Twilight Zone”. I expected Rod Serling to show up at any point and start a monotone monologue. I announced the exam time to the class when I noticed one of the students roll his shoulders; roll his head; and roll his eyes. Apparently, the exam schedule that has been online all semester did not suit him. (Sidenote: This kid drives all of the teachers crazy. He never shows up on time and is always looking for an easy way out. It’s like he is searching for someone to mistreat him. Everyone wants to fail him, but the fucker makes good grades.) So, I continue with the announcements when this guy suddenly yells, “What did you say?” The kid he was yelling at looked stunned, and, like anyone would do, incredulously asked, “What?” It continued:

“You were making fun of me.”

“No, I wasn’t” (Although, he probably was.)

“Tell me what you said.”

“I didn’t say anything, but if you want to step outside we can take care of this.”

At this point, my shock subsided, and I explained that is was a good time to be quiet. I couldn’t believe that two students were about to come to blows over an exam time.

After this stupidity, things around campus returned to normal. A student who scheduled a registration session never showed up. As punishment, I signed him up with all of the hard teachers.

The moral of the story is don’t fuck with teachers. We can stop fights with just a few words. We can ruin your life by placing you in the worst classes. But most importantly, we can save dogs from fires instead of breaking our ankles while leaving concerts drunk. Of course, we can’t sit through a Wynonna Judd concert sober.

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This is a Test. This is Only a Test

4 Nov

Test days! The bane of students. That is what my classes have been experiencing for the past two days.

When I started teaching I thought that test days would be like mini vacations. No lecture to prepare. Get to work a few minutes before class. Hang out in the classroom and make sure no one is cheating. How wrong was I? Tests are as hard on the teacher as they are on the students.

1. We have to make out the tests. Now, teachers can adopt different strategies in this area. We can make multiple choice tests which are a pain in the ass. It requires some heavy thinking to come up with wrong answers that sound right. Of course, there are tests banks, but they only work if you follow the textbook. And textbooks are written by imbeciles.

Another option is making essay tests. Easy is an understatement. Just throw out some questions about broad topics and go with it.

Then, there is a third option. Mix it up. Create a test that uses both.

2. We have to grade the tests. This is the Bizarro World of test making. Everything is completely opposite. Multiple choice tests are easy to grade. Just fly through and check the letters.

Essay test are terrible to grade. You have to make a rubric, a device that outlines what you are looking for in each answer to ensure that everyone is graded equally. Then, you actually have to read the answers. This takes time when someone has good handwriting. It takes forever when someone can’t write. It always amazes me that people who make it all the way to college can’t write. Bad spelling. Bad grammar. No sentence structure (I know. This blog is guilty of the same things, but, hey, I’m not being graded).

Then, we have the mixed up test. Divide the work on the front-end and back-end.

This diatribe means that I was wrong about test days being a vacation. It may look easy from the peanut gallery, but it is hard work behind the scenes. No matter when the work comes it is always there. In fact, I think it is easier on the students. I know all of the answers. How hard can that be? To look at their faces it must be pretty stressful. It is strange to see how they react.

1. There is the “I don’t give a shit” student. This is the one who walks in without a pen and without any idea that a test is even going on. They ask, “What’s going on?” When they get the answer they shrug their shoulders and answer away. I promise that it pisses teachers off when they make a good grade.

2. Also, we have the “Can do no wrong” student. This is the one that has never made below an A. EVER. They analyze their notes. Ask question after question about details that don’t really matter. There is no doubt that they have written down everything I have said and have it memorized. Unfortunately, that learning style leads to quickly forgetting the material once the test is finished. We teachers would like for students to remember a few things.

3. The “Older and going back to school” student really freaks out. These people are super obsessive and can take a couple of paths. A few succeed in class and wear the teacher out to make sure they are being successful enough. Most crack under the pressure they place on themselves and mysteriously disappear.

4. The “Teachers really like you” students. These students have balance in their lives. They study but not too much. They take part in college fun but know when to buckle down. They learn without memorizing.

A lot of people think college is about learning a subject. That’s not true. College is about learning life. Learning how to work and live with other people. Learning how to organize time. Learning how to take on adult responsibilities.

I am still trying to figure out how to make a test for that.

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