Tag Archives: Amusement Parks

Total Chaos

30 Dec

Over at Cole Mining, you can read an interesting piece about time. It is a well written post about time and its many facets. It is thought-provoking and worth your time. Yes, I went ahead and said that. When I read it, many things went through my mind. The concept of time. How time seems to go faster as we get older. Time is a fascinating concept. However, I kept coming back to another thought. This may not be what Cole wanted to inspire when he wrote his post, but I thank him for placing this into my mind.

There used to be a theme park in Nashville called Opryland, USA that provided many days of fun for me and everyone I know. I won’t go into a lot of detail about Opryland because it has been written about many times. Instead, I am going to write about a ride called Chaos, an indoor roller coaster that was Tennessee’s answer to Space Mountain.Chaos

It was a cool ride, and, when it first opened, people were lined up for hours to get on it. Once the line entered the building, warning signs could be seen everywhere, and an announcement played over and over.

“You’re time is running out!”

Apparently, we were in a place that was about to be destroyed, and we were waiting to board the vehicle that would take us to safety. As we stood in line, the announcement continued.

“You’re time is running out!”

Finally, we got on the ride and put on our 3-D glasses. Yep, it was a 3-D roller coaster. As the ride zoomed through the darkness, laser beams shot through the air, and the glasses made it look like they were all over the place. Of course, the ride didn’t last near as long as the waiting process. Despite that, Chaos was a good ride.

At least, it was a good ride for as long as it worked. Not long after the introduction of Chaos, the laser beams broke and were never repaired. Rumor was that the company that built the roller coaster went out of business, and repairing it was impossible. Without the laser beams, Chaos was just a ride through the dark. They tried several ways to make it a good experience, but it was never the same.

Soon after, Opryland USA closed. There were plenty of great rides and entertainment, but I have always thought that the failure of Chaos led to the failure of the park. It had to hurt to spend millions of dollars on a ride that couldn’t be fixed.

As I think back, the announcement is what sticks in my mind about Chaos.

“Your time is running out!”

As it turns out, that announcement was prophetic. Our time of enjoying Opryland was truly running out.

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For the Birds

14 Jan

Over the holidays, my brother took his family to Orlando to visit the various theme parks. They hit all of the Disney ones – Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios. Then, they headed over to Universal to experience the Islands of Adventure in general and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter specifically. They experienced thrills and chills; waited in long lines because it was the busiest week of the year; and, saw plenty of muggles dressed like wizards. However, they all agreed (except for one) that the funniest thing happened at a concession stand.

To set up the story, I need to explain my brother’s family. It is the statistical norm with the parents and two kids. The oldest son is 17 and reminds every one of Sheldon on “The Big Bang Theory”. I realize that it sounds like bragging, but he honestly is the smartest person I know. He aces all of his classes and is line for the Ivy League. His brother is 14 and is as much a smart ass as his older brother is smart. The young one is always making wisecracks and thinks that he has a way with the women. In short, he is full of himself. With this dynamic, these two are on each other all the time.

So, there they are roaming around Universal and heading toward Harry Potter World when they spy a concession serving cinnamon and sugar on a stick. I have no idea what it looks like, but it has to taste awesome. Of course, both of them want one. They mosey up to the bar; order their sticks; and, turn to walk away. That’s when a huge bird swoops down from behind; grabs the youngest one’s stick; and, before he realizes it, is munching on the stick in the top of a tree. My nephew stands there stunned as dozens of people, including muggles dressed as wizards, burst out laughing. One kid with a wand starts saying, “No refunds! No refunds!” My brother, his wife and my other nephew all agreed that it was the highlight of the trip.

Amazingly, the concession stand workers say that was the fourth time it had happened that day. Birds hang around all of the time and steal people’s food. Despite the claims of the wand-kid, they gave him another stick which he crouched over and protected like gold. Perhaps, they should get Harry and the gang to put a spell on the birds and make them like broccoli or some other unfun food.

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