Man, this was an interesting weekend. Why? Because I did something that I thought I would never do. I went to my 25th class reunion. My life got a lot better after high school, and it never occurred to me that those years should be celebrated. Besides, I didn’t like most of the people then, so what would make me think that I would like them now. In the end, however, my good friends from the school years convinced me that it would be fun, for no other reason than to see who had gone into decline since we last saw them. With that in mind, I ventured into the land of:
Of course, the night began with some mingling, and, to my surprise, I ran into people who I actually liked. A guy that I went to school with from kindergarten on up. My buddy from home room. One of my old college roommates. A girl who I had a crush on but failed to get her to notice only to have her have a crush on me in our 20s. It turned into a longer list than I ever imagined. Honestly, I avoided most of the people who I perceived to have slighted me in some way in times gone by, but I talked to a few of them, too.
One of the most interesting things was finding out what they do for a living. I conversed with:
a college professor
a telephone repairman
a furniture mover
a manager of a fast food restaurant
a chimney sweep
a nightclub owner
a professional drummer
a waiter
a couple of drug dealers (the legal kind)
Overall, it was a wide variety of professions. Then, dinner commenced, and the voyeur in me discovered something else interesting. People sat in their high school groupings. Cheerleaders sat with cheerleaders. Jocks sat with jocks. Music nerds sat with music nerds. Regular nerds sat with regular nerds. There were some people who didn’t fit in any category, so they had a table to themselves.
The dinner conversation at my table was about marriages, kids and divorces. I haven’t participated in any of those, so I ate rubber chicken. After dinner, the reunion committee, which was an attempt at including a representative from each of the groups I mentioned, made their presentations. The strangest part was when the music nerd on the committee sang the song that he always performed in the talent show. That’s when I sauntered into the bar for libations and gossip among my folks. This is where the night became fun because we talked about the different creatures that were in attendance.
The Woman Who Left Her Husband For An Older, Rich Guy – Everyone knows this one, so I don’t have much explaining to do.
According to the Supreme Court, this one turned out well.
The Woman Who Left Her Slightly Successful Husband For A Younger Man – This creature has been increasing in numbers during the 21st Century. Apparently, it is revenge for the existence of the above creature.
According to TMZ and other outlets, this one turned out well.
The Slightly Weird Guy Who Became A Horror-Movie Watching Mountain Man – Admittedly, this one is rare. However, they make an impact when they appear.
I don’t think this one appeared at his class reunion.
The Token Nerd That The Jocks Befriended And Made Him Think He Was One Of Them – This is my least favorite creature. They are more arrogant than their pack but have less athletic ability. This means that they have no redeeming qualities.
This one turned out well, as he fought the dearly departed Arnold Horshack in a “celebrity” boxing match.
The Guy Who The Girls Fawned Over That Turned Into A Stoner – This one walked around bleary-eyed in high school. Apparently, that is more appealing that walking around bleary-eyed at middle-aged.
He’s pointing at the purple hippo floating in the sky.
The Annoying Girl Who Had No Friends In High School And Apparently Has No Friends Now – Actually, I felt bad for this one and made a point to have a conversation with her. She still has the whiny voice that she had then.
I think she has gone on to a lucrative career in television advertising.
Obviously, there were several species in attendance, including myself – The Nerdy Guy Who Liked To Study And Had A Hard Time Talking To Girls But Had A Semi-Cool Car.
I left with my friends to have dinner at a local restaurant because the food at the reunion sucked. It was there that we talked about how we were glad that we went and how we wouldn’t be back until the 50th one. Hopefully, we will make it that far.
SBI: A Thinning Crowd 