Tag Archives: University of Tennessee

Digging Up Bones

26 Feb

Most days in a history department are what you would expect. We teach classes. We talk to students about issues that they may have. We grade. Boy, do we ever grade. We also find time to serve on committees, do research and perform other activities. However, there are a few days when something different happens, and we have a historical mystery drop into our laps. That’s when our historian/detective curiosity kicks into gear.

It happened several months ago when I was looking at the website for The Tennessean, Nashville’s daily newspaper. They had put together a slide show of historical sites in our area. It included the usual suspects: the Hermitage, home of Andrew Jackson; the Jack Daniels Distillery. You know, things that people around the country may have heard of.

As I scanned the photos, it was surprising to see the Mitchell House, a historic home in my town.

This is not where Gone With the Wind was written.

This is not where Gone With the Wind was written.

It was more surprising to read that Margaret Mitchell had written Gone With the Wind in the same house. This couldn’t have been true because Margaret Mitchell was from Atlanta, and she was writing about Atlanta. Besides, no one had ever heard of this before.

I told all of this to my cohort, who has a great blog about Jacksonian America, and he went into action. He contacted experts and discovered, not surprisingly, that she did not write the book in my town. After that, he contacted The Tennessean to tell them how wrong they were. As far as I know, the mistake was never changed.

I wonder how many Gone With the Wind fans have found themselves at the wrong house.

Frankly, my dear. I don't know where we are.

Frankly, my dear. I don’t know where we are.

Today, another mystery appeared when we received an email from a man who graduated from our university in the early 1970s. According to the story, he and several students were interested in archaeology, but the school did not offer classes in this subject. With the help of a faculty member, they formed an archaeology club and organized a dig a few counties over.

To their surprise, they found the skeletal remains of a Native American women who died over 300 years earlier. They exhumed the remains and sent them to the University of Tennessee to be further examined. After that examination, the remains were returned to our university and placed on display in the administration building.

(I interrupt this story to make an observation. It is hard to believe that there was a time when displaying the remains of a human in a lobby was considered acceptable. Happily, things have changed through the years.)

The man who emailed wanted to know what happened to the remains, and that is where the mystery begins. Both of us, myself and my history cohort, graduated from the university that we now work, and neither of us has ever heard of the skeleton in the lobby. Because of that, we are going to contact some “old timers” to see if they know anything.

Hopefully, we can locate the remains and return them to a proper burial, but I suspect that they are lost. When we bury our loved ones, it is hard to imagine someone digging them up and putting them on display. But, it can happen. Just ask any Native American.

Tennessee in 1923

19 Jan

When you teach history, people tend to give you old stuff. It’s cool. I like old stuff. It’s just something that I have noticed. A few months ago, a friend gifted me with the 1923 version of The University of Tennessee Record, the catalog for the 1923-1924 academic year. It was a fitting gift. It’s historic. It’s academic. It’s from the university whose teams I have supported since I was a kid.

Looking through old books is always interesting. It’s fun to see how different things used to be. Recently, I wrote about a compilation of United States history from the 1870s and the strange subjects that were found within it. This book also provides some interesting tidbits.

The calendar looks similar to the calendar that my university uses. It shows when classes begin and end. Commencement, the goal for everyone, is held in the morning. It’s on Wednesday morning, which seems like a weird day to have it. However, there is one major difference between the calendar then and the calendar now. They had the day off on George Washington’s Birthday! I don’t know why they would do that. After all, he was only the Father of the Nation.

Remember me?

Remember me?

A few pages later, it lists the different colleges and schools within the university. I found the College of Liberal Arts interesting because that is the one that I teach in. They have all of the usual suspects – College of Engineering, College of Agriculture, School of Education, School of Home Economics. Wait, what? The School of Home Economics? Yep, that really existed. Somewhere in the book, there is a paragraph talking about how the University of Tennessee welcomes female students. I guess this is where they planned on sticking them.

To get a degree in Home Economics, a student had to take some general electives and 16 Home Economics classes. It doesn’t specify what those classes are about, but I can imagine.

I don't know the year, but this is a canning class at UT.

I don’t know the year, but this is a canning class at UT.

Today, the university has an agriculture extension program that places an agricultural agent in each Tennessee county to assist the farmers in that area. The university also did that in 1923, but it also sent out a home demonstration agent. In my county, the agriculture agent was E.F. Arnold, and the home demonstration agent was Miss M.S. Henderson.

The section titled “General Information” is, as would be expected, full of information. It turns out that students were required to attend chapel and were expected to go to church. That would really go over well at a public university these days. The next paragraph, call “Christian Activities”, covers the importance of Christian groups on campus. That’s alright. There are Christian groups on campus right now. However, there are also other groups for the religious and non-religious.

As a fan of the University of Tennessee athletics programs, I wanted to know what was happening in 1923. Today, the athletic department, to the chagrin of many academic types, is the most famous part of the university. It generates publicity and millions of dollars. Back then, it generated two paragraphs in the Record.

The first paragraph begins as follows, “Athletics are encouraged in so far as they do not conflict seriously with the academic work.” That is quaint. It goes on to say that the university is a member of the Southern Intercollegiate Conference.

S-I-C!!! S-I-C!!!

The second paragraph thanks W.S. Shields and others for purchasing land for a new physical education field. It would be named Shields-Watkins field. It looked like this.Shields Watkins

Now, it looks like this.

I'm in there somewhere.

I’m in there somewhere.

As written earlier, I was interested in the College of Liberal Arts, but I was specifically interested in the History Department. Within it, I found three faculty members – James D. Hoskins, who also served as the Dean of the University; Phillip May Hamer; and, Marguerite Bartlett Hamer. I assume that they were married. Three faculty members. That’s how many we have at my small, private university.

There are other interesting aspects of The University of Tennessee Record, but it’s getting late. Like other books from the past, it provides an insight to what the world was like in 1923 and how different (and how similar) it is to our time.

Miracle at South Bend

2 Jan

While reading this blog, some of you may have realized that I am a fan of the University of Tennessee. However, I am not just a fan. I am a fanatic. As a certified fanatic, I have been lucky enough to attend numerous football games throughout the country. I don’t know how many games I have attended. The best way to describe it is to say that if there has been a game played over the past 38 years, then chances are good that I was there.

Bunches of games have been forgotten, but a few, both wins and losses, stand out. One of those is the 1991 game against Notre Dame. It has gone down in Tennessee history as the Miracle at South Bend. Tennessee fans throughout the nation remember that game and have a story that goes along with it. However, my story is a little more supernatural.

My brother and I took an RV with some people that we did business with. The trip northward was filled with food, drink, laughter and anticipation. Notre Dame, coached by Lou Holtz, came into the game with an 8-1 record, while Tennessee stood at 5-2. It was the 300th game to be played in storied Notre Dame Stadium and was Senior Day for players like Jerome Bettis.

We arrived in South Bend to find temperatures in the single digits and snow spitting from the sky. Most of our group, including my brother, wanted to hang around the RV and tailgate. I remember one of our crew wearing a short-sleeve shirt, thin khakis, loafers without socks and a windbreaker. He should have been cold, but I’m sure that he wasn’t.

I didn’t want to tailgate. I had never been to Notre Dame and wanted to walk around the historic campus. There was Touchdown Jesus.

After the last field goal attempt, he was crossing his arms.

After the last field goal attempt, he was crossing his arms.

There was the grotto.

It's a beautiful place.

It’s a beautiful place.

Of course, there was the stadium.

It was filled with people when I was there.

It was filled with people when I was there.

I walked into the stadium as soon as the gates opened and found my seat in the end zone. There was an old man sitting in the seat next to mind, but I was too busy taking in the scene to say anything to him. Finally, he spoke and said:

“What part of Tennessee are you from?”

“I live close to Nashville. Do you live close by?”

“You could say that. How do you feel about the game?”

“I don’t feel very good about it.”

He smiled slightly and said:

“Don’t worry. Your team is going to win 35-34.”

That’s the last thing we said to each other. As game time approached, more people filled the seats, and my brother showed up. Then, the game began. At least, it began for Notre Dame. They ran and ran and ran. Up and down the field they went. With the first half coming to a close, Notre Dame was up 31-7 and was lining up for a field goal. My brother said that if something dramatic didn’t happen, then he was going back to the RV.

Something dramatic happened. Craig Hentrich, who would later punt for the Tennessee Titans, had his field goal blocked and Tennessee returned it for a touchdown. Everybody went crazy, but the man next to me never moved. Throughout the game, he never stood. He never talked. He never did anything but watch.

At the half, Notre Dame led 31-14, and my brother did not go back to the RV. It’s a goog thing because the second half belonged to Tennessee. They gradually cut into the lead, and, for some reason, Holtz abandoned the run and started throwing. Tennessee crept closer and closer. Coming toward our end zone, Tennessee scored to go up 35-34. I remembered what the man had said and turn to tell him that he was a genius, but he never looked at me.

Notre Dame got the ball and went back to the run. They should have been doing it all day because they drove straight down the field. With a few seconds left, they lined up for a short field goal to win. However, Notre Dame had a problem. Hentrich had been injured on the earlier field goal, and the backup kicker had to come in.

The snap. The hold. The kick. One of our guys flew in, and the ball hit him in the hip. The ball kept going but was wide left. Tennessee fans went crazy. We were jumping, hugging, giving out high fives. Tennessee won 35-34, just like the man said we would. I turned to hug him, but he was gone. The man had vanished into thin air.

Then, my brother was pulling at me. As the Notre Dame band played, Tennessee fans were storming the field. We had to go with them. We hugged players, coaches and other players wearing orange. We mingled with the band and Notre Dame players. We grabbed grass to keep as a souvenir.

It was the greatest ever comeback against Notre Dame. It was one of the greatest wins in Tennessee history. It was a game that made me wonder. Who was that guy? How did he know what the score would be? How did he suddenly disappear? I have always heard that there are ghosts in the stadium at Notre Dame, and I am convinced that I met one of them.

How I Spent the End of the World

22 Dec

Ok, the world survived. Never mind that the world was not going to end, and the Mayans never said that it was. The Internet, pop culture, social media, and people in general took something (the Mayan calendar) that they didn’t understand and made something out of it that it never was. Shocking, I know. That never happens in modern times.

Some people prepared for the end that never came. Others joked about it. Some people had clever things to say on Twitter and Facebook. I spent 12/21/12 doing the following.

I was awake at midnight surfing the Internet and playing Slingo on my iPhone.

This is the guy that's going to cause the end of the world.

This is the guy that’s going to cause the end of the world.

In essence, I was succumbing to the same addictions that I succumb to every night.

I woke up to find the sun shining and the wind howling. In other words, it looked warm outside, but it was actually cold.

I took a shower, got dressed and did the only thing to prepare for the end of the world. I put on the t-shirt with “12.21.12.” printed on the front. In case it happened, I wanted everyone to know that I knew it was coming.

Once I was prepared for the day, I met the usual folks for our weekly Friday lunch at Gondola, the local Italian restaurant that is owned by Koreans.

I could only find a picture of the Gondola sign. I wonder if that is a sign of the apocalypse.

I could only find a picture of the Gondola sign. I wonder if that is a sign of the apocalypse.

We talked about sports, local politics, national politics and the end of the world. The end of the world part went something like this.

One of Them: When did the Mayans go extinct?

Me: They didn’t go extinct. They still exist. In fact, I read an interview with a few of them on CNN.

One of Them: You mean the Spanish didn’t kill them?

Me: No, the Europeans did not kill all of the Native Americans.

One of Them: I thought they killed all of the Indians.

Somewhere along the way, I changed the subject.

After lunch, I went to my parents because their phone lines had been knocked out. It was that howling wind that I mentioned earlier. It knocked lines down everywhere. Unfortunately, it also knocked out their Internet, which is almost like the end of the world.

After that, I sold 6 tickets and a parking pass for the Music City Bowl. Vanderbilt is playing in the bowl this year, which means that Vandy made a bowl game two years in a row. That’s a first for them and is a sign of the apocalypse if there ever was one.

Let’s see. Then, I bought one last Christmas gift before meeting my friends to go to a University of Tennessee basketball game.

They play here. It doesn't look like a Mayan pyramid, but it's a pretty good place to watch a game.

They play here. It doesn’t look like a Mayan pyramid, but it’s a pretty good place to watch a game.

We made the trip to Knoxville and got there just before tip-off. It was a victory by the Big Orange over Western Carolina.

We made it back safely. Now, I am writing this end of the world post while still wearing my end of the world t-shirt.

The Great Pumpkin Carving Escapade

30 Oct

Tonight, I carved a pumpkin for the first time in years. It was great fun, and mine turned out quite well considering my lack of expertise. My handiwork was not worthy of being immortalized on the Internet. Therefore, tonight’s festivities will be honored with pictures of some of my favorite things carved into pumpkins. I have no idea who made these, but they are great artists.

AC/DC

Hell’s Pumpkins

University of Tennessee

Touchdown Pumpkins

John Wayne

Pumpkin Cogburn

Elvis Presley

Ladies and Gentlemen! Elvis Has Left the Pumpkin!

Marilyn Monroe

Pumpkins Like It Hot

Darth Vader

Luke, I Am Your Pumpkin.

Clint Eastwood

The Good, the Bad and the Pumpkin

This is an incomplete list, but I couldn’t find one with Barney Fife.

The Cullman Comet

15 Oct

This weekend, my friends and I drove to Starkville, Mississippi to watch the University of Tennessee play Mississippi State University in football. The best way to get there from here is to go through Alabama. Yes, Mississippi borders Tennessee but going through another bordering state is the fastest route. Weird, I know.

It is also the best route because it allows us to stop in Cullman, Alabama and eat at the All Steak Restaurant, home of the world-famous orange marmalade rolls.

Passion on a Plate

We got a lot of looks as we walked in because we were wearing the colors of our team, and that’s not something seen very often in Alabama. An elderly man wearing a crimson University of Alabama shirt took special notice and walked to our table when he was finished eating. He was a nice man who asked us where we were from and what we thought about our team. After a few minutes, we offered him a seat.

He introduced himself as Tom Drake, and we spent the lunch hearing the story of his life – one of the most interesting stories I have ever heard.

Mr. Drake was born in Cullman County and found his way from there to Chattanooga, where he played football and wrestled in college. After college, he was drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers, but the army drafted him, as well. In those days, the federal government was more powerful that the NFL, so off to the army he went.

After being honorably discharged, Mr. Drake was hired by Bear Bryant to coach wrestling and football for the Crimson Tide. When we asked who was the best player he ever coached, he did not hesitate to say Joe Willie Namath. However, coaching was not his calling, and Mr. Drake went to law school.

Bear Bryant and Joe Willie Namath

While still enrolled in school, he won a seat in the state legislature and continued to be elected for 32 years.  During that time, Mr. Drake served as Speaker of the House and worked closely with infamous governor, George Wallace.

In Birmingham, they love the governor.

Now, that is an event filled life, but there was more. Mr. Drake spent his spare time as a professional wrestler. Fighting under the name “The Cullman Comet”, Mr. Drake fought against some of the most famous wrestlers of the era. He was later inducted into the International Wrestlers Hall of Fame.

The Cullman Comet

With such a wide array of talents and experiences, Mr. Drake made a perfect contestant for What’s My Line?, and he appeared on that show in the 1970s.

We barely had time to ask questions as he told story after story. However, his most important story was about his wife. They did everything together, but she died a year ago from brain cancer. He said that he still hasn’t recovered from the loss, and I got the feeling that he just needed someone to talk to. He needed to talk about his life and his memories, and I felt honored that he picked three strangers who were wearing the wrong colors.

Mr. Drake said that he is writing a book, and I hope that he finishes it. The book would chronicle a man’s life but also a piece of our history. I was reminded during lunch that history can be found anywhere. It can be found in old documents, but it can also be found in a conversation at the All Steak Restaurant in Cullman, Alabama.

Immortalized

23 Jul

It seems that I have been surrounded by immortals lately. Not real immortals, but the ones found in the pages of books. I just finished Blood Line by James Rollins, a book about a secret cabal performing experiments on humans to find a DNA secret to immortality. Currently, I am reading The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. This is the true story of cancer cells taken from a woman and how they have continued to thrive since the 1950s. The cells have been used to further numerous scientific advancements.

Obviously, the books are different. One fiction. One non-fiction. However, the both center around something that humanity has often dreamed about – immortality. The scientists goal in the Rollins book may seem fantastical, but scientists in the Skloot book were looking at prolonging life as well.

Through this reading, I have been reminded about a conversation I had with some students. We were hiking through New Mexico when I asked what superpower they would pick if they could. I chose invisibility. One chose the ability to fly like Superman. However, another chose immortality. My first thought was how cool that would be, but then I started thinking about the problems.

1. When you get that power, you had better have a non-aging policy.

2. What happens when the Earth is destroyed? I suppose by that time people will be traveling to other planets.

3. How do you handle the death of loved ones over and over and over?

This brings to mind one of my favorite movies, Highlander – the story of Connor MacLeod, an immortal who must fight other immortals until only one is left. What’s the prize for the winner? He has immortality taken away. There is even a great song by Queen called “Who Wants to Live Forever“. And, what does that song say?

Who wants to live forever when love must die?

People have always been fascinated by immortality. After all, that is what religion is about. The Greeks and Romans worshipped immortals. Modern religions look for life after death. However, religion is not the only place immortality resides. Vampires have become a major theme in popular culture, and they hang around until somebody sticks a stake in them. Even zombies offer a glimpse at immortality, or an undead version of it.

So, why has humanity always had immortality on the brain? There’s probably more than one answer. First, people don’t want to stop being. No one wants to die even though it’s going to happen to everyone. It’s like a horror movie. YOU WILL NOT GET OUT ALIVE!!!

Second, we don’t want to miss anything. At least, this is what I think about. What will the world be like after we are gone? I call it “future history”. We have this urge to know what’s going to happen. What will the world be like in 2100? Will it be like The Jetson’s or like The Planet of the Apes? And, I use those examples for a reason. We like futuristic movies because it gives us a glimpse of what things might be like after we are gone. Some, like Star Trek, are about a hopeful future. Others, like Blade Runner, are about a desolate future. It doesn’t matter which because we just need to know what’s going to happen.

I feel bad for what people have missed. My grandfather was a huge fan of the University of Tennessee, and he passed away on a Saturday morning in 1995. That night his team, led by Peyton Manning, beat Alabama 41-14. I kept thinking how I wished he could have seen that. The next few seasons were great ones for Tennessee, and they eventually won the national championship in 1998. All I could think of was that he was missing it. I wish he could have seen it, and I wish I could see all of the games of the future.

But, those wishes are impossible because immortality is impossible. And, if it was possible would we really want it? I don’t know, but I do know that there is an old saying – Be careful what you wish for because it may come true.

Only the Rocks Live Forever

3 Jul

My dad and I just finished our multi-week project of watching Centennial, the 1970s miniseries covering the history of a fictional Colorado town. Lasting over 26 hours, the movie follows the lives of people who influenced the area and help found the town. Native Americans. Trappers. Mountain men. Pioneers. Farmers. Cowboys. The list goes on and on. All of the people you can think of from the history of the West are represented.

As we watched Centennial, several ideas swept through my mind. First was the fact that this was a well-made movie, and, although it was based on a work of fiction, accurately portrayed the history of the West better than just about any movie I have seen. It showed the lives of ordinary people and the complexities they faced. After all, they were living in a hard land that was taken from someone else.

Once my mind wrapped itself around the quality of the movie, the storyline began to remind me why I chose history as a profession. In the final episode, a historian shows up to research the town for an article. When he arrives in the village of 2,000 people, he wonders why he has been given the assignment of writing about a town he had never heard of with founders who only the locals remembered. Then, he began to hear the stories of the characters that we had been watching.

I suppose that I am not making sense, but the historian discovered that the little town of Centennial had an interesting history of regular people living regular lives. That’s what history is really about. Sometimes, we get caught up in the deeds of famous people and forget that history is made by everyone.

My next thought – actually, feeling – was a sense of sadness that hit me on several levels. Centennial takes the viewer through several generations of families, which means we are watching their lives and their deaths. We see them starting life with youthful exuberance and ending it after triumphs and tragedies. History isn’t just about the lives of people but also about their deaths.

As I watched the lives of these characters pass before my eyes, I also realized that my dad, like the older men in the movie, has already lived the majority of his life. He is the rock of our family and has accomplished more than I could ever imagine. Yet, he is getting more feeble as time passes, and there will be a time when he will pass away. Then, it will truly be up to my brother and me to carry on the beliefs and ideals of our family.

My dad and I have done a lot of things together. He took me to my first University of Tennessee football game when I was 6, and we have been going ever since. It’s just that he doesn’t make it to as many games as he used to. Together, we have traveled through all 50 states because he wanted me to see historic sites and natural wonders. I saw that watching this movie is another thing that we could do together. As we watched, he would have me pause it to tell him the real history of what the movie was portraying.

As the last episode ended, I was sad because a movie that I enjoyed and invested in had come to an end. I was sad because this experience with my dad had come to an end, and I fear the time when I will not be able to have more experiences with him. I was sad because the movie reminded me something that I had forgotten as I teach about people in the pages of history books. As a line in Centennial says, “Only the rocks live forever.”

Birthday Celebration

9 Jun

Tonight, we belated celebrated my youngest nephew’s 15th birthday. It was actually on June 6, which most of the world knows as D-Day. Our family also knows it as B-Day, Bronson’s Day. To honor his day of birth in the blogging world, here is a list of events from the year he was born.

On the big screen:

Titanic made a triumphant return from the depths and dominated the film industry.

– Val Kilmer and Elisabeth Shue starred in The Saint.

– James Stewart passed away.

– Robin Williams won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his role in Good Will Hunting.

In the athletic arena:

– the Green Bay Packers defeated the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XXXI.

– Tennessee beat Old Dominion to win the NCAA Women’s Basketball National Championship.

– Mike Tyson bit a piece off of the ear of Evander Holyfield.

– Tiger Woods won the Masters for his first win in a major.

On the boob tube:

The Crocodile Hunter debuted on Animal Planet.

South Park first aired on Comedy Central.

– Jacques Cousteau, famous for marine documentaries, passed away.

The Simpsons passed The Flintstones as the longest running prime-time animated series.

In the music world:

– Elton John re-recorded Candle in the Wind to honor Princess Diana.

– Paul McCartney became Sir Paul McCartney.

– Colonel Tom Parker, the manager of Elvis Presley, passed away.

– The Bee Gees, the Jackson 5 and others were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

For the literate people:

– Mitch Albom’s Tuesdays With Morrie was published.

– Harry Potter looked for the Philosopher’s Stone.

– James Michener, writer of sweeping epics, passed away.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings was removed from the English curriculum in Anne Arundel County, Maryland.

Scientifically:

– the Pathfinder landed on Mars.

– the United States barred federal funding for research on human cloning.

– Deep Blue defeated Gary Kasparov in a chess match, the first time a computer defeated a grand master.

– the domain name Google was registered.

A lot of other stuff happened in 1997. Perhaps, you can list a few in the comments.

Brought to You By the Number 99

26 Apr

The 99th post. Wait a minute. Scratch that. This is not really the 99th post. I have deleted a few along the way that I deemed a little unfair to the subject matter. Despite that small issue, this is the official 99th post of the Surrounded by Imbeciles blog, and I can’t believe that it has gone this far. When I wrote the first post, I couldn’t imagine writing this many. I really couldn’t imagine it as I slogged through the first month with a total of 49 hits. But, here I am a few months later with words on the Internet; people I have met cyberly; and the satisfaction of knowing that I am still typing away.

Reaching 99 deserves a bit of celebration and recognition, and I know the perfect person…vampire…puppet…muppet to tell help out. Without further delay, here is Count von Count and the importance of the number 99 HA! HA! HA! HA!

99 Luftballoons – In 1984, Nena, a German band, recorded this song as a protest of the Cold War. It tells the story of kids who release balloons that are mistaken as weapons by the East Germans, who launch the world into a nuclear war. An English version, “99 Red Balloons” was recorded later. I always liked the German version better even though the only words I understood were balloons and Captain Kirk. Check out the video. It may bring back old memories or introduce you to something new.

99 – The number of Wayne Gretzky, the greatest scorer professional hockey has ever seen. I never knew much about hockey, but I, like everyone else, knew about “The Great One”. I was lucky enough to see Gretzky play against the Nashville Predators during his last year in the league. He did not score a goal that night, but I believe he had five assists (or some crazy number like that).

Agent 99 – I must admit that “Get Smart” was never one of my favorite shows. After school, the local stations always played reruns of old comedies. I liked Gilligan. I had a crush on Marcia. I wanted a pet dragon named Spot and a robot named Robot. But, I hated Maxwell Smart and his slapstick comedy. The only redeeming quality of that show was the hotness of Barbara Feldon as Agent 99. I only wish she would have used her skills to kill Maxwell. Then, it could have been “Get 99”.

January 4, 1999 – One of the great nights of my existence. You know what people say when something great happens. They say that it is the best thing that ever happened – except their wedding day and when they had kids. Well, I’ve never been married and don’t have kids, so I don’t have to tell that lie. Being in the stadium when my team, the University of Tennessee Volunteers, defeated the Florida State University Seminoles to win the first BCS National Championship is one of my top events. I don’t even know how to describe the 23-16 victory.

99 Bottles of Beer – A traditional song that everyone knows, I have no idea where it came from or who first sung it. I just know that when it is over I (A) feel like I have drunk 99 bottles of beer, or (B) wish I had drunk 99 bottles of beer.

99 Years Old – The age of Eddie Albert when he passed away. Don’t know who Eddie Albert is? Well, he most famously played Oliver Wendell Douglas in “Green Acres”, but he had a long and successful career in television and films. I liked him best as Warden Hazen in “The Longest Yard”. That is the original one starring Burt Reynolds and not the dumb one starring Adam Sandler. Why do they keep remaking great films? It’s difficult to improve on greatness.

That’s it for the celebration of 99. There were a few other important items to list, but the Count needs to get back into his coffin in the subway system below Sesame Street. If you have any other 99 ideas, then shoot them my way in the comments.