Today, I took a “vacation for the mind”, but most people call it therapy. I started going to therapy with my girlfriend at the beginning of the year. We had been going through some rough times and thought couples therapy might help. Through the months I have learned a lot.
1. I’ve learned that I have spent most of my life suppressing my true self.
2. I’ve learned that therapy will lead you down unexpected paths.
I went into the sessions trying to fix problems in a relationship and ended up stopping the relationship altogether. I know my girlfriend was shocked. She kept telling me to be brave and live life the way I want instead of living the way other people expect me to. She didn’t realize that breaking up with her was what I really wanted to do, and I needed to get up the courage to tell her.
Suddenly, couples therapy turned into individual therapy and figuring out how to live a healthy life. The therapist has tried different strategies to help me understand what a healthy life really is. I thought I had one but understand now that I didn’t. Today, she had me list ten places that I would live if I decided to move. In no particular order they were:
1. Santa Fe, New Mexico (It is one of my all-time favorite places. Great food. Art galleries. Eclectic culture. And I am a historian of the American West. Lots of interesting history out there.)
2. Asheville, North Carolina (Another one of my favorite places. Its culture and artistic community is similar to Santa Fe, but the landscape is completely different. Mountains and forests dominate the area. It is also home to the Biltmore Estate, a fascinating historic site. One of the great spa resorts, The Grove Park Inn, is also there.)
3. Tucson, Arizona (Interesting city with a great deal of history. It is also near Tombstone, the town too tough to die.)
4. Pueblo, Colorado (I spent a day in Pueblo last summer. It had a very interesting downtown with a river walk and an impressive library. It is also home of the PBR. That is not Pabst Blue Ribbon. It’s the Professional Bull Riders Tour.)
5. Flagstaff, Arizona (This is a cool town, but I like it because it’s near Sedona, a resort community filled with spiritualism and mysticism.)
6. Charleston, South Carolina (I have never been there, but it seems like a great place to be.)
7. Haleiwa, Hawaii (Several years ago I rented a beach house in this small community. It is located on the north shore of Oahu and is an escape from the world. I imagined that its residents wanted to live in an out-of-the-way place and landed here.)
8. Deadwood, South Dakota (Everything about Deadwood is cool. The Franklin Hotel is great. The saloons and casinos are great. It sits close to Mount Rushmore in the Black Hills. However, its history is the coolest thing. This is where Wild Bill Hickok was shot while playing poker. He was holding Ace’s and 8’s, forever known as the Dead Man’s Hand. He is buried next to Calamity Jane.)
9. Las Vegas, Nevada (Enough said.)
10. Austin, Texas (A great town filled with music, food, culture and everything else you can think of.)
So, there are my ten fantasy homes. Will I live in any of them? I doubt it. They are great places to visit, but I like where I live. A lot of people believe that personal issues can be solved with a geographical cure. My ex-girlfriend believes it, and, I think my therapist does too. However, a wise man (me) once said. “No matter where you go you are always there.” My ex always said that was dumb, but it makes sense to me. We can’t move away from our problems. We take them with us. Because of that, we have to face them and solve them the best way we can.
That is what I have learned in therapy.
SBI: A Thinning Crowd 
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