I have this weird notion that we can tell a lot about a person by the things they have lying around. That’s the reason I created a post about the things in my office. Well, that’s not the only reason. I was sitting in my office trying to come up with a mind-blowing topic to write about. At a loss, I just went ahead wrote about what I was looking at. It was also a good way to work on my description skills. Maybe I could create a mental picture with my words like most professional writers do. I am not sure if it work, but I am going to try it again.
I have meant to clean the clutter off of my dresser, and, before I do, I feel the need to record what is there.
Category 1 – Illumination
Like a lot of dressers, mine has two lamps sitting on it. You know the kind. They are skinny and have a small shade on top. They don’t put out much light, and the bulbs tend to blow out a different times. Usually, one works when the other one doesn’t.
I also have a couple of small candles. I am not a big candle fan, but they come in handy if I want to create a romantic mood – like when I am watching Cinemax After Dark.
Category 2 – Pictures
Most people would say this, but these are the most important items on the dresser. One is of me and my nephews piled up on a couch. It was made a few years ago when we took a luxury bus to the NASCAR race at Talladega. I’m not a huge racing fan, but I went because of them. It’s one of my favorite pictures.
Another picture was made when my dad was inducted into the Tennessee Softball Hall of Fame. We are standing there with some of his old players and friends. Everyone is laughing, and I know that he was very happy and proud that night.
The third picture was taken many years ago and included most of my extended family. We were on the deck of my grandparent’s lake house. We had one of those timer cameras, and people are kind of looking different directions. Three people in the picture have passed away – my grandfather, my grandmother and my uncle. One of my nephews is cradled in my dad’s arms. The other one wasn’t even born yet.
Category 3 – Art
That is a term that I use loosely because one was created by yours truly. I had a girlfriend that liked to go to one of those ceramic places where you can drink and paint. This is a two-sided thing with a green, black and blue sun on one side. The other side has an orange moon with red stars. Apparently, I was going through my color experimentation stage.
The other is a piece of pottery I bought in New Mexico. An old Indian woman claimed to make it, but I think some old Chinese woman actually did. It is a cattle skull with cool designs painted on it.
Category 4 – Cards
These are not Hallmark cards. No, these are truly close to my heart. A blackjack strategy card; 3 MGM Players Club cards; a Resorts Casino card; a Hollywood Casino card; a Harrah’s Casino card; and a deck of playing cards with the theme, “Hooker’s Live Bait – There’s Something Fishy Going On Around Here”.
Before you start thinking that I am a total gambling addict, I also have an Elvis Membership card to get discounts at Graceland. Oh, there is also a business card from the men’s shoe department at Nordstrom’s. I would say that I don’t shop there much, but there is a stack of receipts under all of the gambling cards.
Category 5 – Notes
Before I get to the clutter (you thought the other stuff was clutter?), I was surprised to find a couple of notes during the examination. One was written by an ex-girlfriend (not the one who liked to paint) as a thank you note for taking her on a trip.
The other came from my therapist with the instructions that I tape it to the mirror and recite it every morning. It reads, “Stand in your own space and know you are there.” I’m going to tape it up right now.
Ok, I’m back
Category 6 – Other Crap on My Dresser
There is a small stone club with a clip sticking out of it. I think it is to hold letters, but I have a devious mind with it comes to the use of clips. Maybe I can put the therapy note in there.
It sits on top of a flat piece of quartz, or something that looks like that.
I also have an unused Fossil wallet that was once a Christmas gift. I have gotten two other wallets since then.
There is a pair of black running shorts. Obviously, I meant to run. All kinds of people run around here, but I can never figure out what they are running from.
Two pairs of glasses, one sun and one regular, sit in front of their cases.
Oh, there are also three watches. One is broken. Another is a sample that my watch salesman friend had in his truck. The other one is a Rolex that my parents presented to me when I got a Masters. It’s pretty, expensive and pretty expensive, but it doesn’t keep good time.
Somewhere on there is a small remote that operates my iPod when it is hooked into the speakers and some buttons piled on top of it.
I collect pins, so there is one from the NASCAR Hall of Fame in Charlotte, North Carolina. For someone who isn’t a big race fan, I just mentioned it twice in this post. I can feel my neck turning red.
There are some scissors and a jar filled with coins.
Next to those is a ticket to see Footloose. I never saw the first one and didn’t want to see this one, but my girlfriend wanted to take her daughter. It wasn’t all that bad, and I got to look at Julianne Hough. Yowser!
However, the prize of this category is my stuffed Jackalope. What? You don’t know what a Jackalope is? Well, it is a rabbit with antlers, and they are all over New Mexico. Google it and see what you come up with.
Category 7 – Coin Dish
Last category, I promise. My coin dish contains everything but coins. Actually, there are a couple of Kennedy Half Dollars. I got them at a casino.
Other than that, there is a souvenir golf ball from The Masters. It’s the only sporting event that remains on my “wish to go” list.
There is also a chess piece that was supposed to be a therapy reminder device and a blue rock with “courage” printed on it.
There are ear plugs and a couple of guitar pics that I picked up at a Metallica concert. Those and the plugs seem to go together.
I also have a Godiva Chocolate card and a gold chain from the glory days of the 1980s.
Oh, there is also the Brothel Inspector badge that some students bought for me in Madrid, New Mexico.
However, there are four items that are very special. Two belonged to my grandfather – his pocket knife and a University of Tennessee tie pin.
The other two are championship rings. In 2010, my university won the baseball national championship, and I got a ring for serving as Faculty Athletic Representative. The second ring represents the ten state championships that my dad’s softball teams won over the years. That’s why he was inducted into the Hall of Fame.
And that, as they say, is that. Can you tell anything about me from the items gathered on my dresser? Or, did you make it this far?
SBI: A Thinning Crowd 
(Steps back slowly.)
Actually, this is a pretty cool idea for a post. I may steal it!
You are welcome to it.
What do I deduce? You know I hold you dear as a friend and strangely have always trusted you entirely too much considering you are a man; however, I take pity on your girlfriend and am at the same time equally pleased that you have found someone who accepts all of that comes along with your, uh, dresser.
Thanks for having trust in me (considering I am a man). It looks like I need to clean up a little around the house. She is a great person, and I am glad that she has come into my life. I am also glad that you are back in town. It wasn’t the same without you.
For some reason, your posts aren’t showing up on my follow page, I’m sad I missed this one yesterday.
That being said – DAMN, how big is your dresser?!
You’ll need to get that glitch fixed. Ha. It’s not that big. There is just a lot of stuff sitting one it. Most of that was small stuff.