I Want My Tay Made With Really Old Water

9 Aug

We left the wheat fields and returned to Lewistown to get our tire fixed. In my town, it takes forever to get that done, but in Lewistown the job went lickity split. My nephews wanted to cross the street to check out a cool-looking store. Alas, it was closed, but there were some interesting objects outside.

Nice guy. He’s just a little stiff.

We followed Highway 87 westward through towns such as Moccasin and Geyser before reaching Great Falls. I’m not sure what we thought we would find in Great Falls, but it is a thriving city with all of the franchised amenities of other cities. We all assumed that this was because it serves as home to Mainstrom Air Force Base.

We checked into the biggest hotel room I have ever stayed in; my youngest nephew swam; then, we went out for dinner. This brought us to a problem that faced the expedition several times. No one cared where we ate. You must understand that this is coming from a group of individuals who like for things to go their way. Yet, we rode around while the SUV filled with indecisions.

Finally, we decided to try Jaker’s, a restaurant chain in that part of the country. My dad and oldest nephew had been to one before, so we figured it would be good. We got seated next to the slot machine room (most Montana establishments have slot machines), and the waitress came by to take our drink orders.

Brother: I would like iced tea, and my dad would like iced tea, as well.

Me: I would like tea.

Waitress: (confused look) What?

Me: I would like tea.

Waitress: I don’t understand. You want tay?

Me: (getting frustrated) I WOULD LIKE ICED TEA!

My brother said something to ease the tension, but she walked off. I understand that I have a southern accent, but I also know that my brother has the same one. She understood him just fine. On top of that, there are probably some southern people serving at the base. Anyway, I was tired and wanted food and drink. I probably overreacted because she never came back. Some other waitress worked with us after that. Oh yeah, the food and tay sucked.

We went back to the hotel, and I made the same mistake that my youngest nephew made earlier in the day. I used a toilet that didn’t work and ended up going to the front desk to get a plunger.

The next morning was spent visiting the tourist sites of Great Falls. First, we went to the Lewis and Clark National Trail Interpretive Center.

For some reason, I like to take pictures of signs.

The center was pretty cool, with a couple of good films and a decent museum. Most of it focused on the Corps of Discovery making its way over the waterfalls of the Missouri River, from which Great Falls gets its name. The group had to tote their boats around the falls, and they covered many miles.

Fake people taking a fake boat over fake land and around a fake waterfall.

Honestly, I had more fun looking over the real Missouri River behind the center.

Lewis and Clark passed by here. Of course, they passed by a lot of places.

Next door was a place that our wheat-growing friends told us to visit, and it turned out to be very interesting. This thing flows at over 330 million gallons of water per day and forms the Roe River, the shortest river in the world. It has been determined that the water travels for 3,000 years from its source before reaching this point.

This water has been around since they were counting years backwards.

Then, we made our way to the C.M. Russell Museum, which displayed the works of Charlie Russell – cowboy turned artist. It was a huge museum that showed works by many artists and had an excellent exhibit on the story of bison, a symbolic animal of the West. It was also the location of Russell’s home and workshop. My youngest nephew is an aspiring artist, and I took a picture of him in front of the shop.

One day, people will be taking pictures in front of his workshop.

In the next post, we will journey north.

10 Responses to “I Want My Tay Made With Really Old Water”

  1. paintlater August 9, 2012 at 09:24 #

    Glad to hear your nephew wants to be an artist, maybe he can draw an ice tea for you so you can just hold up a sign. My daughter & I travelled the USA a while back and were quite often misunderstood- especially in Hawaii! Cheers

    • surroundedbyimbeciles August 9, 2012 at 19:53 #

      Yeah, I’m really proud of him. What parts of the country did you tour?

      • paintlater August 9, 2012 at 22:32 #

        We went to Hawaii first (its only 10 hours away!) then New York- it was all about the art- then flew to Las Vegas so we could spend time at Grand Canyon then drove via LA and the coast to San Francisco. We’re hoping to go again-it was just such a great country to visit- this time more driving less galleries and definitely Yellowstone and Monument Valley on the wish list. Cheers

  2. Madame Weebles August 9, 2012 at 17:07 #

    Gorgeous photos. And what idiot can’t understand someone ordering iced tea??

    • surroundedbyimbeciles August 9, 2012 at 19:56 #

      Thank you. I guess I was sounding too much like Foghorn Leghorn. Ha

      • Smaktakula August 11, 2012 at 21:30 #

        Do you interject “Well, ah say, boy!” into everyday sentences? Because that would be really cool.

        And sometimes its a difference in terms. In London one time, very jet-lagged, I ordered a “diet soda” at a cafe.
        The waitress looked at me like I’d said “Clown soup.”
        I said (and please keep in mind I was jetlagged, and normally a little more patient and perspicacious), “Soda–you know, Coke?”
        A few minutes later she brought me a can of Coke and soda water. Not wanting to look even more like an idiot, I thanked her.

      • surroundedbyimbeciles August 11, 2012 at 22:07 #

        I should do my Foghorn imitation in class. The weird thing about the US is that different regions have different terms for soda. In the south, it is Coke. Others places say pop or soda. In the old days, southerners called them cold drinks.

  3. Smaktakula August 11, 2012 at 21:27 #

    “Tay?” Yew people jest don’t tahk raht. I kid–I LOVE accents, and that distinct American accents still exist at all in the age of mass communications. These days, most Americans sound like newscasters (but without the precise diction).

    You take pictures of road signs? Nerd. I know because I love to do that, too.

    It sounds like your family travels the way I like to, just stopping at the interesting and unusual stuff. I love to visit historical sites, but not just the obvious ones. Last year my wife and I took a trip out to see the Manzanar Internment Camp, and also see the little town of Darwin (which is a delicious oxymoron if ever there was one). It’s fun to discover stuff.

    As to what you might expect to find in Great Falls? I’ve never been there, but I would certainly expect to find some (adjusting for hyperbole) pretty good falls.

    • surroundedbyimbeciles August 11, 2012 at 22:05 #

      That’s the way we travel. Skip the beaches and head toward varied and interesting locations. Actually, I would expect great falls in Great Falls. They were only decent falls.


  1. To the Sun and Across the Great Divide « Surrounded By Imbeciles - August 13, 2012

    […] left Great Falls and moved north toward Glacier National Park. Keeping with the plan, we skipped the interstate and […]

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