The Lessons of Anthony Bourdain

8 Nov

This past weekend, I saw Anthony Bourdain in concert. Well, I guess you could call it a concert. It was really a PowerPoint presentation. Anyway, I have read several of Bourdain’s books about the world of the culinary arts, which is strange since I don’t cook. His writings are filled with great stories about what life is really like in the food industry, and, as people who work in it already know, it’s a lot different from the calm atmosphere around the table.

Bourdain parlayed his writing success into a popular television show that I watch whenever I can. He travels, eats, drinks and, in general, let’s everyone know what his opinions are. And, he doesn’t give a shit who he offends. In short, that’s the life I would like to have.

When I heard that he was coming to Nashville, I had to get tickets. With the things he says on his show, there would be no telling what he would say in person. With that in mind, these are a few of the lessons I learned from Anthony Bourdain’s PowerPoint presentation.

Paula Deen is the real life equivalent of Dr. Evil.

Fried food is finger lickin’ good.

People, like me, will pay good money to watch a guy say the same things that they can watch him say on television for free.

Go ahead and burn your money.

You can never have enough dick jokes in case your PowerPoint malfunctions.

Or, you could just use pen and paper.

When someone asks Anthony Bourdain a question, it always begins with “as a fellow culinary professional” and always ends with “can I have an autograph”.

Will you sign my rag?

Russians drink a lot of vodka.

Is the war still cold?

When an old professor sits in front of you, it’s not long before you realize that he is just as cranky now as he was 20 years ago.

No one has ever made above a D in my class, and I will make sure that it never happens.

If you request an altered version of a dish, then you might receive something extra in it.

Yes, I would like the hamburger, but can I get that without the meat and the bread?

I learned a few other things, but I have to go kill a duck to make foie gras.

4 Responses to “The Lessons of Anthony Bourdain”

  1. javaj240 November 8, 2012 at 04:09 #

    Honestly, he seems like a blowhard to me. But, if you enjoy that sort of thing, then I’m glad you had the opportunity to see it live and in person. LOL!

    • Rick November 8, 2012 at 05:00 #

      He is definitely a blowhard, but he is a slightly entertaining one.

      • javaj240 November 8, 2012 at 05:12 #

        As long as you had a good time! My guilty pleasures: Tosh.0 and Jackass!

      • Rick November 8, 2012 at 05:19 #

        Jackass is awesome. Johnny Knoxville is from my state.

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