Shock the World

19 Apr

A couple of posts ago, Dark Cargo noticed a change in terminology from one post to the next. Instead of writing about my girlfriend, I wrote about my fiance. Those of you who know me through this blog are probably thinking, “Hey, that’s great!” However, those who have known me all of my life probably sat there stunned for a second before realizing what they were hearing. In this little corner of Tennessee, I pulled a Muhammad Ali and shocked the world.

You see, I am in my mid-40’s and have never been married. In fact, I have never seriously considered getting married. I ventured from one relationship to the next and burned a lot of bridges along the way. Most people, most importantly my parents, thought I would wander from one woman to the next until there wasn’t a next. If I was being honest with myself, then I would say that I thought the same thing.

Then, Necole came into my life. Actually, I should say that Necole returned to my life.

I first met Necole in our high school years when she was on a date with my best friend. He took her to the governor’s inaugural ball, and I showed up to prove to him that I could get an invitation to the inaugural ball, too. When I walked into the gala with my date, my goal was to find him, and I found him with this really hot cheerleader. I can’t remember what happened the rest of that night, but I remember where we were standing at our introduction.

Over the next several weeks, we would run into each other in the hallways of school, but I was too dumb to ask her out. She kept hinting, and I kept missing the hints. One afternoon, I was cruising through Sonic Drive-In when she hopped in my car and said something along the lines of “we should do something sometime.” We went out some, but I was still too dumb to know what I was doing.

I went to college and learned the ways of the world. She moved away and learned some of the same things. A few years later, we reconnected but were on different paths. We were both restless and needed to find out what was going on in the world that we were just learning about.

As I said, I moved from relationship to relationship, and I took a perverse pride in not really caring. I was out to have a good time and let the wreckage fall where it may. I hurt a lot of people but discovered somewhere along the way that I hurt myself, too. I hid this by convincing myself that I was different. I didn’t need anyone because the freedom and independence was too important to me. Why would I want to be with one person for the rest of my life when I could have the world to choose from?

Necole took a different path, but it is not my story to tell. However, I will say that she has a beautiful daughter who fills both of our lives with joy.

A few years ago, I walked into my office and found a text from Necole. She wanted to see me and asked if I would like to see her. We met at a place in Nashville and talked about the years that had passed since we had last sat across a table from each other. The time passed too quickly, and it wasn’t long before we had to go. I walked Necole to the valet stand and, before she got away, I kissed her. There was no way I was going to let her drive off without doing that.

We have been together ever since, and a few weeks ago I shocked the world by proposing to her. I never thought I would love someone like I love Necole. I never thought I would get married. It seems that I shocked myself, too. The guy who tried hard not to care found someone, both Necole and her daughter, who he can’t imagine not caring about.

17 Responses to “Shock the World”

  1. Pam Tomlinson April 19, 2013 at 11:47 #

    Although I’ve known about your engagement for a while; after reading this, I am speechless. You know me well enough to know that is almost unheard of. Guess we’ve both surprised a lot of people!


    • Rick April 19, 2013 at 18:24 #


  2. John April 19, 2013 at 11:55 #

    Excellent, Rick! Congrats!

    • Rick April 19, 2013 at 18:25 #

      Thank you very much.

  3. leejacobs April 19, 2013 at 13:15 #

    There is nothing that compares to being intimately connected to another person. Good for you!

    • Rick April 19, 2013 at 18:25 #

      Thank you. I’m looking forward to our life together.

  4. John S April 20, 2013 at 14:40 #

    So you definitely need change the title of your blog now! Congrats.

    • Rick April 20, 2013 at 20:36 #

      I guess you are right. Thanks for the congrats.

  5. Sarah April 20, 2013 at 15:48 #

    Very beautiful! Congratulations and yay!!!!

    • Rick April 20, 2013 at 20:37 #

      Thank you for both.

  6. Manu Kurup April 22, 2013 at 04:35 #

    a great story of life. 🙂 congrats on being engaged. Life will always have the best for you. 🙂

    • Rick April 22, 2013 at 04:58 #

      Thank you for the congratulatory remarks and the blessing.

  7. amber_i_am (@amber_i_am) April 22, 2013 at 15:58 #

    Congratulations! I would carry the mace around campus to celebrate your recent engagement, but, you know…

    • Rick April 22, 2013 at 17:09 #

      Yeah. I bet it’s not as heavy as the necklace.

  8. paintlater April 27, 2013 at 21:42 #

    Congrats! Better late than never. Cheers Sue

    • Rick April 28, 2013 at 23:56 #

      Thank you very much.


  1. Who am I? Who are you? | Pieces for Peace - April 19, 2013

    […] blogger wrote on how he “Shocked the World” with the announcement of his engagement. Shock the World.  He talks about being in his mid-40s and people never expecting this. So I ask you, who […]

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