I think I moved into this house in 2000, but I’m not really sure. It’s probably strange that I don’t remember the exact year, and it’s probably more strange that I remember the building process vividly. My brother built the house, and I remember meeting with him. I remember checking each day to see how much work had been done. I really remember picking out the shutters.
That process sticks out to me because my girlfriend hated shutters. We had dated for a couple of years when I decided to build, and she naturally thought that it was for both of us. Maybe, I thought the same thing, but reality hit when I decided to go with the shutters. She took it as a sign that it was my house instead of our house, and, honestly, she was right. Our relationship was never the same after that, and she broke up with me several months later.
That was the way this house began and has continued to be. It has been a house. It has been my house. It has not been a home. The refrigerator is famous for its emptiness. The rest of the kitchen has been used as an office. The garbage collectors like it because they never have to stop. Heck, it was a couple of years before I had furniture. There was a bed, a chair, a television. Basically, it was stuff that came from my old apartment.
A later girlfriend said that I lived in a museum. She was able to say that because she was one of the few girlfriends to see it. Most of the people I have dated rarely came to my house because I spent a lot of time at their places. They were in Nashville, and the excuse was that there was nothing to do in my town. I may as well come to them. In reality, I wanted a separate sphere that I thought of as a sanctuary.
At times, it has been a sanctuary. Coming home to an empty house has its benefits. The solitude is refreshing after a day with dozens of students. You can do what you want without bothering anyone else. Heck, you can even walk around naked if you want.
However, those same attributes can turn dark, as well. The quiet can be too quiet. The solitude can become loneliness. There is nothing worse than walking into an empty house after a terrible day. Actually, walking into an empty house after a breakup is worse. Those people who I didn’t allow into my house eventually faded away. I wasn’t sharing my life with them as much as I was visiting their lives for a while. It didn’t take long for them to figure that out, and they eventually faded away.
This house has seen a lot. It has seen people walk through its doors who wanted to stay, but they weren’t given the opportunity. It has seen escapades that are not appropriate for a blog that people under 18 may read. It has been empty in more ways than one, and it has been filled with stuff. It has been here through good days and bad nights. It has witnessed love and hate. However, through all of this the house has never been a home.
That is about to change. In a few weeks, I am getting married, and my soon-to-be wife and her daughter are moving in. There will be no more nights of solitude. There will be no more doing what I want when I want. There will definitely be no more walking around naked. But, there will be laughter and sadness and good times and bad times. The house will be filled with something besides stuff. It will be filled with a family.
My fiance’s daughter is worried because she thinks they are moving into my home. She thinks they will be like visitors. I don’t know how to explain it to her, but this place has never been my home. I am as much of a visitor as she is. I want her to realize that this house is only now becoming a home, and we are going to make it that way together.
SBI: A Thinning Crowd 
Congratulations! Sounds like you are well on your way to making a home for your new daughter. If she reads your blog, she already knows! Wishing you much happiness and a home filled with love.
Thank you very much. I’m excited about what’s ahead.
Great post about the ‘transformation’ of a mere building to a sweet abode. I hope together you will make it beautiful. Congratulations! Have a nice time. 🙂
Thank you. We are going to work hard to make as beautiful as possible.
Home is where the Heart is and this house…our house is about to be filled with three big and beautiful hearts and your heart being the biggest! I love you and thanks for working so hard to make us feel welcome and allowing me to remove some of the artificial plants:)
I love you, and I have proven it by sacrificing some special plants.
Wish you the very best! And I think those last two sentences make for an excellent explanation to your girlfriend’s daughter.
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
That is so wonderful!!!! Congratulations, Rick! I’m sure the house will feel like a home very very quickly, because you, your new wife and her daughter will make it a home together.
Thank you. I can already feel the transition to something more fulfilling.
Fabulous! Nothing better than a house becoming a home. Cheers
Thank you. Fabulous is an apt description.