Secrets of a Secret Society

13 Jul

Newsweek put out a special edition magazine called Secret Societies: Infiltrating the Inner Circle. Of course, I had to buy it. The thing has sat on my desk for weeks, and I finally picked it up. The magazine includes stuff that I have read before, and my mind started to wander toward a question.

Which secret society would I like to join?

The Illuminati would be cool, but I would have to work with reptile people.

The Shriners would be fun because I could ride motorcycles or go karts in Christmas parades. As a kid, I always looked forward to the Shriner band because a guy strutted in front of it while carrying a big sword.

Bohemian Grove sounds interesting, but the way they frolic in the woods in kind of strange.

The Bilderberg Group would be awesome. They only invite the wealthiest and most powerful. Getting to meet with them would mean being in the categories of the wealthiest and most powerful. Who would not want that?

Heck, the list goes on and on. The Loyal Order of the Moose. Modern Woodmen of America. I do not think the P.E.O. Sisterhood would accept me.

As I asked myself the question, all of that went through my mind. Then, it hit me. I do not have to wonder what secret organization I would like to join because I have already been a member of a secret organization.

I cannot remember how many years ago it was, or I cannot tell you how many years ago it was. After all, it was a secret society.

Some guys I knew decided to form a club where they could partake in intellectual discourse and debate. Out of these sessions, they could make decisions to help the community. It was also a way for the henpecked ones to get away from women for a while.

I was asked to join because they thought I would be good at partaking in intellectual discourse and debate.

Anyway, we met in a small church. To be a secret society you need religious symbolism, right? Also, one of the founders was a member of the church and had a key.

At the first meeting, we named it the Cedar City Men’s Forum and set up the rules of the club. I cannot remember the rules, but you cannot have a secret society without them.

After the formalities, we discussed the pressing issues of the day. Local politics. National politics. Star Trek. You know, the important stuff.

We had several meetings and talked about a lot of things. However, we also wanted to give back to the community. Luckily, there was a huge community project going on. The city had built a new park, and local citizens were raising money for a really cool playground. To get funds, they sold posts in the fence around the playground.

The Cedar City Men’s Forum bought a fencepost.image-43

To be a secret society you need secret symbolism to be displayed in public places, right? We needed our name to be out there for people to look at and wonder what it all means.

This afternoon, I went to the playground to find our fencepost, and there it was. Like other secret societies, the secret symbols outlasted the secret organization. After a few meetings, the Cedar City Men’s Forum discontinued.

I cannot remember why it ended, or I cannot tell you why it ended. It could have been because we ran out of stuff to talk about. It could have been because of an attempted coup against the leadership. It could have been because the henpecked guys were told to come back home. It could have been because someone said Star Wars was better than Star Trek.

Like other long-lost secret societies, we may never know.

14 Responses to “Secrets of a Secret Society”

  1. Ann Koplow July 13, 2015 at 00:36 #

    I’d like to join the not-so-secret society of people who appreciate this post.

    • Rick July 13, 2015 at 00:47 #

      Thanks. We could start an S.B.I. Bloggerhood.

  2. Marilyn Armstrong July 13, 2015 at 01:22 #

    The Shriners do some very good and important work. You have to be a Mason first. I think Shriners is like Eagle Scouts to Boy Scouts. The upper echelon. Garry and I worked with them when they were hosting a huge rodeo in Boston. We got to ride in the parade and got cool belt buckles and embroidered jackets. I was sorry when they stopped doing the rodeo. I love horses.

    The Shriners hospitals (for children) are top facilities. They are free to those who need the care. They are suffering a lack of new blood. Not enough younger generation people (by which I mean you and me, not REALLY younger people who may not even realize these groups exist) are interested in these highly structured organizations.

    • Rick July 13, 2015 at 02:02 #

      You are right about the Masons and Shriners. My dad is a member of both and keeps the secrets tightly guarded.

      • Marilyn Armstrong July 13, 2015 at 02:07 #

        In an earlier generation, you would have automatically followed your father into the Masons. My first father-in-law was a high degree Mason. They are a very tight lipped crowd. Amazing, considering how long they have been around that they have kept their secrets so well.

  3. frontrangescribbles July 13, 2015 at 02:03 #

    I want to join the SBI Bloggerhood. Please

    • Rick July 13, 2015 at 03:47 #

      You are welcome to join. We just need to come up with some kind of weird initiation ritual.

      • Marilyn Armstrong July 13, 2015 at 03:58 #

        Give me a few days and I’ll think of something really bizarre. Or at least funny.

      • Rick July 13, 2015 at 04:03 #

        I can’t wait to hear.

      • Marilyn Armstrong July 13, 2015 at 04:35 #


  4. jcalberta July 13, 2015 at 19:40 #

    • Rick July 14, 2015 at 00:10 #

      Great link

  5. NotAPunkRocker July 14, 2015 at 18:59 #

    “The Knights who say ‘Ni'” would be a good society to join 🙂

    • Rick July 14, 2015 at 19:53 #


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