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One of Those Days

18 Nov

Ever have one of those days that just passed by? One of those days where you get caught up in the humdrum aspects of life, and inspiration does not place itself into your path. That’s what today is, and, honestly, I never thought about these days when I started to blog. I promised myself that I would post as often as possible, and I anticipated posts that would be witty and interesting. I probably haven’t accomplished that with any of my posts, but I am certain that it will not happen today.

So, what do you guys do when you have nothing to write about? Silence…Crickets chirping…

I will tell you about my day.

I woke up this morning to find my girlfriend is a blah mood. She is majorly stressed out at work and has several other issues going on. I knew something was wrong while we were getting ready for the day. She wasn’t her usual chipper self. There was no I love you. Her eyes looked like there was no spirit behind them. She left before I got out of the shower, so I called to find out what was wrong. She gave the standard answers, but I believe there is something in there that she wants to keep to herself.

I got to work and prepared for my first class, the first half of American history for freshmen. They had to turn in an assignment, and, like always, most of the papers were not stapled. I am pretty sure that my stapler is not the only one in existence. However, they all want to use mine. I took those up and began my lecture on the administration of James Buchanan. People don’t know too much about Buchanan, but he held power during an important period of our history, 1856-1861. These were the years leading to the Civil War. He thought that the situation could be controlled. Obviously, James was wrong. I have run into an interesting phenomenon this semester. Since I have been discussing the issue of slavery, the black students seem to be phasing out. It’s as if they don’t want to hear this part. I can’t blame them, but the story has to be told. We don’t want people to forget about the tragedies of the past.

After class, I wandered around the building for a while. Got some chocolate milk at the coffee shop. Bothered Dave in his office. Talked to Fred for a while. Then, it was time for my second class, the first half of world civilization for freshmen. I hate this class. Not the students…not all of the students. I hate the subject. Everyone here is an American historian, but someone has to teach the world stuff. Several years ago I got stuck with it because I had least seniority. Now, I have the most seniority and am still doing it. They watched a film about medieval art that I thought was boring. I am not sure how they sat through it. At least I didn’t have to talk though.

After class, I went to my usual Friday lunch with the “Mafia.” My brother and I have been eating lunch of Friday with my dad and his friends for two decades. It started when my dad suffered a stroke and had to retire. He was getting bored, so we started the tradition to break up his day. We eat at the same table in the same restaurant every week and have gained a reputation as an important group. We have had mayors, congressmen and other politicians come by at times. Apparently, they don’t realize that we are just a bunch of guys that eat, gossip and talk about any mundane subject that comes up. It’s a good group of people even if I don’t see eye to eye with them at times.

Now, I am back in my office and blogging away. The afternoons get quiet on campus. Most classes have already been taught, and students make themselves scarce around this time. I don’t blame them. I may head out soon myself.

My girlfriend is taking her daughter to see “Twilight” tonight. Luckily, I got out of that. She is coming by my house after, and I hope that she is in a better mood. It’s one of those times where I know what I do or say is going to be wrong. That’s the plight of being a man I reckon.

So, that’s a day in the life.

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The Problem With Sonic

17 Nov

I love Sonic. It is, by far, my favorite fast food joint because it caters to my taste buds. Corn dogs. Chili pies. Milkshakes. Jalapeno cheeseburgers. Now that I think about it, I like just about everything on their menu. It’s big yellow sign is a beacon that draws me to the breading, to the grease, and, most of all, to the convenience. No matter how much I like the food, it is really the convenience that attracts me. I can pull up, sit in my car and not have to deal with anyone else. This system works well for an introvert because I can’t, for the life of me, make myself walk into a restaurant and eat by myself. I feel like a loser and imagine myself eating alone until I am 80 years old. For me, Sonic is perfect. Wait, it used to be perfect because there is something currently about Sonic that I don’t understand.

Why does Sonic have a drive-thru window?

It makes not sense whatsoever. The entire Sonic concept is designed around the convenience of customers not getting out of their cars. The nostalgia of years past comes to life as smiling waitresses, sometimes on roller skates, bring your food to you. This is after you push a button and order food from your own personal glowing menu. So, what gives? Why does a drive-in restaurant need a drive-thru window? My initial conclusions are:

1. People are too lazy to put their vehicle in reverse. As far as I can tell, that is the only difference between pulling into a parking spot to order and ordering in a car line. It is the same menu. It is the same person on the intercom. It is the same waiting time. Actually, I think the car line waiting time is longer. I have seen Sonic’s with people waiting in a huge line while parking spaces sat empty.

2. People do not want someone bringing food to them. This is not an original idea because a man I work with brought it to my attention. While contemplating the mystery of the Sonic drive-thru, I mentioned my confusion to him. He said that he always uses the drive-thru because he didn’t want anyone hovering around his car. It invaded his comfort bubble or some nonsense. Is this really the mindset? People don’t want a cute girl on roller skates to bring food because it’s uncomfortable? The person in the drive-thru window has to reach toward your car. And, what about waiters in restaurants? They are hanging around the table all of the time.

3. People are too cheap to tip. I always tip the girl who brings my food. In fact, one of my former students who worked at Sonic said that they made better tips than any restaurant in town. Maybe people use the drive-thru because it is against their religion to tip a fast food worker, and this is their way out of an uncomfortable situation.

I have to admit that this mystery is totally beyond me. I can’t figure out why Sonic’s have drive-thru windows. Apparently, there is a reason because Sonic is spending money putting them in. Obviously, customers have asked for them. If you have any ideas about why this is, then please let me know.

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John Wayne and Edgar Allan Poe

16 Nov

A lot of blog subjects passed through my mind today. I contemplated sharing my classroom experiences and even the lunch I had with my friend Dave. However, I am not in the right frame of mind to write about Latin America, World War II or the experience of eating at the Colonel’s Buffet.

I have been thinking quite a bit about the Natalie Merchant concert. I attend many concerts, but it is the rare occasion when I continue to think about them a few days later. However, this one reached me to the core. I found her poetry songs interesting and have perused iTunes (there goes my iAddiction again) while contemplating purchasing a few. While listening, I began to think about my favorite poems. I am not a big poetry fan, but, as with everyone, some catch my fancy.

“Eldorado”, by Edgar Allan Poe, is my all-time favorite. The weird part is that I didn’t learn it from an English class or from discussing poetry in a coffeehouse. I learned it by watching a John Wayne movie.El Dorado

While I was growing up, my dad and older brother watched John Wayne movies all of the time. Wanting to be involved, I watched them too and began to memorize some of them. I especially latched on to “El Dorado”, which starred Wayne, Robert Mitchum and James Caan. Wayne played Cole Thornton, a gunfighter who owed a local ranching family for a tragic accident. Mitchum was J.P. Harrah, friend of Thornton who became a drunken sheriff. Caan played Mississippi, a young gambler that Thornton befriends. As the movie unfolds, the three of them, along with the comedic sidekick, fight against and defeat the rich, bad guy rancher.

Throughout the film, Mississippi recited lines from a poem about a gallant knight that I thought the writers of the movie came up with. As I researched the movie, I learned that it was the poem by Poe. Goes to show you that anything can be learned from any source. John Wayne taught me poetry and led me to become a historian who researches the history of the American West.

So, today’s mindset led me to poetry, and, for those who have never read it, here is “Eldorado”.

Gaily bedight,

A gallant knight,

In sunshine and in shadow,

Had journeyed long,

Singing a song,

In search of Eldorado.

But he grew old-

This knight so bold-

And o’er his heart a shadow

Fell as he found

No spot of ground

That looked like Eldorado.

And, as his strength

Failed him at length,

He met a pilgrim shadow-

“Shadow,” said he,

“Where can it be-

This land of Eldorado?”

“Over the Mountains

Of the Moon,

Down the Valley of the Shadow,

Ride, boldly ride,”

The shade replied-

“If you seek for Eldorado!”

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iAddiction

10 Nov

I used to have a cell phone. You remember those things don’t you? I could make and answer calls. I could also text if I had a quick message for someone. I used that cell phone while people around me began to gobble up iPhones. My ex-girlfriend changed her service from Verizon to AT+T because the latter was going to get the iPhone first. As I watched her use it constantly, she kept saying that I should get one. I would love it. That’s exactly why I didn’t get one.

The iPhone is not a cell phone. It is the technological form of crack, meth and any other addictive substance you can think of. My ex stayed on hers constantly and so did her kids. I reckon that they continue to play with them at all times. A few days ago, as I was teaching, I looked over to see one of my students playing with her iPhone. Now, you have to understand that this pisses off teachers more than anything. On the first day of class, I established the rule that iPhones were not to be touched while class is in session. I even explained how I could see them trying to hide the thing in their laps while they fiddled with it. I’m not sure why their hands are under the table and moving around their crotch, but it’s something they should not be doing in class. Despite that, this student has her iPhone ON THE TABLE while sitting ON THE FRONT ROW. After yelling during class, I met with her after class and explained that this is probably the reason she has failed it twice before.

What can explain the behavior of my ex, her kids and the student other than iAddiction?

You can see it yourself. Look around a restaurant and see how many people have their face shining from the glow of the iPhone. Check out the people relaxing with their iPhone at Starbucks. Ride down the interstate and see how many people are looking at the iPhone instead of the road. Watch the news and notice how many Occupy protestors have iPhones. They are protesting the unfairness of our economic system while playing with an expensive technological innovation. How about paying your debts instead of buying an iAnything? Perhaps, then you would not need other people to pay your debts for you.

I did not get an iPhone because I knew that I would get addicted too. Just like everyone else. Then, I went to Santa Fe, and my cell phone crashed. I headed to the Verizon store and said that I wanted the phone closest to the one that crashed. However, the salesman was crafty. Just like a dealer on the corner, he could make me a deal on addiction. You know, sell it cheap, and the addict will come back for more. I had to have a phone and gave in to the pitch.

I am an iPhone-aholic.

Just as I feared, I can’t put it down.  I am constantly adding apps and messing with the phone day and night. I go to sleep using it and grab it as soon as I wake up. I use it riding in the car. I use it while talking to people. I use it while watching (hold on, while listening to) tv. It’s hard to watch tv and look at the iPhone at the same time. Naturally, I call and text, but that’s not what an iPhone is for. It’s for us to buy apps and feed our addiction.

So, what am I addicted to?

1. Slingo Supreme – a game that combines slot machines and bingo. My high score is 984,323,800. Has to be close to a record, right? Wrong. The top high score is 94,154,960,842. That’s not the national debt. That is somebody’s addiction.

2. Yahtzee Adventures – four variations of the classic game. My favorite is Duplicate, but I play them all over and over. When I reach 1,000 games I look at my winning %. I can’t stop until I hit 70%.

3. Moxie – the original version. It throws up letter tiles, and you rack up points by making words. Just don’t Twaddle.

4, Soundhound – an app that listens to songs and tells you the title and artist. It’s designed to pick up songs in restaurants or on commercials. I use it on my iPod to see if it can find obscure songs that I already have. Sick isn’t it?

5. Post Secret – people publish their deepest, darkest secrets anonymously. They are cool to read and cool to post. It’s amazing what secrets lie in my little town.

Those are my top five, but there are numerous others. Some were downloaded for information. Others were downloaded because they look cool on my iPhone. Whatever the case, I can’t get away from them.

A lot of people have iPhones,  and a lot of people are addicted. Steve Jobs passed away recently and has been hailed for his contributions to the world, his iStuff. I disagree. Like a good pusher, he got us addicted, and his company continues to produce better iThings for us to buy and get addicted to. Addicts can’t get high on the same thing forever. They have to keep using stronger stuff to get that kick. Apple is more than happy to supply them.

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The Problem With Gas Pumps

2 Nov

Gasoline fills our tanks and our conversations these days. People talk about the high price of fuel; the effects of the internal combustion engine on the environment; and, our dependence on the Middle East for our supply. Obviously, these are pressing concerns that everyone should worry about. However, when I pull into a filling station something else concerns me. Gas pumps think humans are stupid.Think about the tank-filling process.

1. The screen provides the following instructions – “CREDIT – INSERT CARD” or “DEBIT – PUSH DEBIT”.

Sounds simple enough. I pull out my credit card and insert it. I am ready to pump gas but wait…

2. The pump asks me a question – “CREDIT OR DEBIT”?

Obviously, the pump thinks I am an imbecile. I followed the instructions and inserted the credit card. Are we really as dumb as the gas pump thinks? Do people not follow the instructions? Apparently, that is the case. If people followed instructions, then there should be no follow-up question.

This leads me into another subject. People are mad because the big banks wanted to charge $5 a month for debit card use. Why do people use debit cards anyway? Whatever happened to cold, hard cash? My dad taught me that I should always carry cash in case of an emergency, and I have never heard of any bank charging a fee to use it. Instead of getting mad at the banks, put cash in your pocket. There are no fees; it’s easy to get to; and, you can watch the money leave your hand as you spend it. I am convinced that cards, either debit or credit, lead people to spend more. That’s the real trick of the financial system. But back to the pumps…

3. After pushing “CREDIT”, the pump tests my intelligence again. It flashes “CAR WASH? -YES”. Conveniently, “OR NO” flashes up separately.

This is obviously an attempt by the convenience store to trick me into spending more money. A friend of mine owns a convenience store and explained to me that gasoline does not have a high profit margin. It is used as bait to get us into the store to buy soft drinks, junk food and other high markup items. However, pay-at-the-pump means that many people do not go into the store. How do they make up for the loss? They depend on us being in a hurry and automatically pushing “YES” for a car wash.

I am convinced that the gas pumps, or the people who program them, think we are stupid.

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