An Ode to Flu, Flew and Flue

8 Dec

They say I have the flu. I don’t think that’s the case, but what do I know? I know that I have felt like crap for most of the week. Thankfully, I am coming out of this funk and decided to celebrate by writing a post in honor of the flu, or flew, or flue.

Antony Flew was a British philosopher who started out as an atheist and ended up as a deist.

At some point, he must have been right.

At some point, he must have been right.

Swine Flu has broken out several times in American history, most notably in 1918.

The European secret weapon against Native Americans.

The European secret weapon against Native Americans.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest is the story of a criminal who goes into a mental institution and doesn’t come out.

But, Cheif escaped, which is fitting since his people were almost wiped out by the swine flu.

But, Chief escaped, which is fitting since his people were almost wiped out by the swine flu.

A flue is a pipe that allows exhaust gases to escape a building and hit the open air.

Otherwise known as a vent.

Otherwise known as a vent.

www.justflewthecoop.com is a blog by Jesse. Honestly, I don’t know much about the blog because I found it while looking up flu, flew and flue.

This picture has nothing to do with the blog, but it makes me laugh for some reason.

This picture has nothing to do with the blog, but it makes me laugh for some reason.

There you have it, a post about flu, flew and flue. If flu germs come near you I hope they fly out the flue because they suck.

Tags: , , , ,

Knowledge Trainer

5 Dec

I am addicted to my iPhone. Of course, this isn’t an isolated problem that affects only me. People are constantly looking at the things. They do it in class. They do it in meetings. They do it in restaurants. In a totally overlooked hazard, they do it while walking. Most of this time is spent on Facebook or Twitter or some other form of nonsense.

Fortunately, I have found a new iPhone addiction that actually teaches me something. It is a trivia app called Knowledge Trainer.

Play with this app and your brain will turn yellow.

Play with this app and your brain will turn yellow.

It’s a basic trivia question game with a twist. Each lesson has ten questions, but they are within different levels of difficulty. It starts at Level 1. If you get it right, then the next question jumps to Level 2. Correct answers bump up the level, and wrong answers bring down the level. The tougher levels bring higher points. Simple, right?

At the moment, I am on Lesson 271 and have reached the Expert category, but that doesn’t mean that I have mastered all of the subjects. My strongest categories are History (66%), Film (65%) and Sports (64%). My weakest categories are Science (45%), Arts & Letters (50%) and Miscellaneous (51%). In the middle are Social Science (60%), Music (56%), Technology (56%) and Geography (54%).

My average Knowledge Quotient is 190.1 with my highest Knowledge Quotient score at 450.2.

There are also national rankings that I find interesting. This ranks the states by the average scores within their borders. The Top 10 are:

Wyoming (117)

Delaware (113)

Montana (112)

Idaho (111)

Iowa (109

Nebraska (108)

Texas (108)

Illinois (107)

Alabama (106)

Oregon (106)

My state, Tennessee, has an average of 103.

The Bottom 10 are:

South Dakota (94)

Rhode Island (96)

Nevada (97)

Florida (97)

North Dakota (99)

Hawaii (100)

California (100)

Indiana (100)

Louisiana (100)

Arizona (102)

Anyway, it’s a pretty cool app. So, if you want to be addicted to something that doesn’t make you go completely brain-dead, then you may want to check out Knowledge Trainer.

Tags: , , ,

What? The Who?

4 Dec

Last night was another musical adventure in Nashville. However, it wasn’t Country. It was Classic Rock from a band that I had never seen before. The Who, what’s left of it anyway, performed in a “not quite sold out” Bridgestone Arena. I don’t know much about The Who but thought I should see them because they are a legendary group.

Roger and Pete

Roger and Pete

As a historian, I should know better than to believe in legends. Either, they aren’t real, or they are past their prime. This concert was an example of the latter. They are on the Quadrophenia Tour, which I thought was just a cool name for a tour. Actually, it is the name of one of their albums, and the concert was designed to play the entire album.

This is where I should say that I have been to album concerts before. I saw The Eagles open a concert with the Hotel California album. More recently, I saw Roger Waters reproduce The Wall, an album with a message about the condition of the world. The Who tried to convey the same message but did not live up to the challenge. I would call it a poor man’s version of The Wall.

As the concert progressed, I was surprised that I didn’t know any songs. While not a huge fan of The Who, I know a few of the hits. As I looked around the crowd, I noticed that most of the people were in the same boat that I was. Only the ones wearing vintage t-shirts were dancing and singing along.

At the end of the concert, the band played songs that people recognized and inspired them to dance. It was unfortunate that it took that long for this part of the concert to begin. Before the hits, the best part of the concert was footage of deceased members Keith Moon and John Entwistle. In fact, they played and sang better than Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend.

All of this was very disappointing for a few reasons. First, the tickets were expensive. Second, The Who should be better. Third, the opening band was great. Vintage Trouble was a foursome that took the old and made it new. Think about James Brown being transported to the 21st Century to start his career. That’s Vintage Trouble.

Vintage Trouble

Vintage Trouble

The Who were not who I thought they would be. If they had started the British Invasion, then it would have been repelled immediately.

Tags: , , ,

Events of the Evening

30 Nov

This was going to be a simple evening. After work and a waxing, the plan was to head to my girlfriend’s house to decorate the Christmas tree. Work went well. The waxing went well, if slightly painful. Then, it was time for the fun to start. And, start it did.

First, I get a call from the fairgrounds. I am on the oversight committee, and a meeting had been called at the last-minute to discuss an upcoming event. Wait, it’s not really an upcoming event. It’s an event that we hope is upcoming. Right away, obstacles were being thrown into my path, but this one was easily handled. I didn’t go to the meeting.

Excitement abounds.

Excitement abounds.

The drive to her house was pleasant. It’s a winding road that goes through the countryside. The deer were not out yet, so there was not danger that I would run over a large animal. However, there was the danger that I would get caught behind a tractor, and that danger presented itself.

One of the hazards of living in the South.

One of the hazards of living in the South.

After some slow going, I made it to her house with the anticipation of eating good pizza and hanging good ornaments. Then, I heard the news. Her cousin, the hair stylist (in the old days they were called hair dressers), was coming over to work on my girlfriend’s hair. I decided to take a nap.

I’m not sure how long the nap lasted, but, for some reason, I dreamed that I was in an old timey beauty shop with women talking and those big hair dryers blowing. You know, the ones that women would sit under.

Take us to your leader.

Take us to your leader.

Anyway, I was awakened from this dream and told that it was time to get the pizza. At the pizza place, the guy was full of questions. My girlfriend lives in a really small town where everyone knows everyone else. He didn’t know me. After answering his questions satisfactorily, I was allowed to leave with the pizza.

When I got to the house, we scarfed the pizza down, and, with the hair far from being done, I hopped onto the iPad. Through the next couple of hours, I randomly went through the Internet and looked up the following:

The cast of Megaforce, a great 1980s movie starring Barry Bostwick

Yes, it is a flying motorcycle. Never say movies of the 80s were not classics.

Yes, it is a flying motorcycle. Never say movies of the 80s were not classics.

The farewell speech by Richard Nixon on the last day as president

His father had the poorest lemon farm in California.

His father had the poorest lemon farm in California.

The best songs of Eddie and the Cruisers

SPOILER: Eddie lives.

SPOILER: Eddie lives.

The previews for several episodes of The American Experience, with a special focus on George Armstrong Custer

During Custer's Last Stand, I don't think he was standing.

During Custer’s Last Stand, I don’t think he was standing.

The last speech given by Martin Luther King, Jr.

The night before his tragic assassination, Martin Luther King said that he had "seen the Promised Land".

The night before his tragic assassination, Martin Luther King said that he had “seen the Promised Land”.

There was more, but you get the point. I was all over the place. Then, my girlfriend brought her cousin into the room so I could tell her about Abraham Lincoln. We saw Lincoln last night, and my girlfriend didn’t understand why politicians were debating about outlawing slavery at the end of the Civil War when the war was being fought to end slavery.

I am not going to get into a big historical discussion here, but I had to explain that the Civil War was not as simple as many people have been taught.

I write all of that to write this: I went to my girlfriend’s house to decorate the tree, and we did everything but decorate the tree. After she got her hair colored, she spent the rest of the night fretting over how bad it looked. After filling my mind with Internet info, I was fretting over my head beginning to hurt.

In the end, we decided to go ahead and decorate the tree. We didn’t know when we would be able to do it again, and we knew that her daughter would be disappointed if we didn’t do what we had planned on.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Picture This – Boot Hill

28 Nov

Tombstone is on television at the moment, and it brings to mind a trip I made to the real Tombstone a few years ago. For anyone interested in the American West, this small town in southern Arizona is a place that must be visited. Not only is it the location of the Gunfight at the OK Corral, but it is also the perfect example of the boom and bust economy of the 1800s American West.

There are places in Tombstone that everyone has to see. The OK Corral is the most famous and the most popular. The Birdcage Theater was one of the most famous houses of sin and ill repute and is currently advertised as one of the most haunted places in the United States. People should also stop by and chat with an important resident. Ben Traywick is the local historian and is a native of my Tennessee county. When I visited with Mr. Traywick, we spent an hour talking about people that we both knew before branching into the history of Tombstone.

Those are great ways to learn, but the essence of the West comes through at Boot Hill Cemetery. This is the place where you can focus on the hardships faced by the people who lived in this environment. The myth portrayed at the other sites fades away to show the reality of life in the West. The cemetery is filled with people who died through violence, disease and other dangers faced on a daily basis.

The above photograph shows the graves of the men killed at the OK Corral. Movies show them as bad guys who tempted fate by facing down the heroic Earp family and their friend Doc Holliday. Movies can be simplified into those wearing the black hats and those wearing the white hats. However, history is not that simple. Maybe, they were bad. Maybe, they were good. The fact is that they ended up in Boot Hill alongside many others.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Childhood Memories – Dallas

27 Nov

The death of Larry Hagman brought to mind another television related childhood memory. My family, like many others, was totally addicted to Dallas and the ongoing saga of the Ewing clan.

The family that preys together stays together.

The family consisted of characters that defined a city, a network and a decade. Of course, Hagman was the star as J.R. Ewing, oldest and most devious son. He went after oil and women with the same furor.

However, Jock, the patriarch played by Jim Davis, truly led the family. I always thought that the show lost something when Davis passed away. I also felt bad because Davis had spent a career as a character actor before finally gaining a starring role.

When Jock died, Miss Ellie took over as leader of the family. Barbara Bel Geddes, a veteran actress, played her as a motherly figure with a streak of toughness. She was the real owner of Southfork Ranch.

Patrick Duffy played Bobby, the other son who worked in the oil business. He was not a ruthless or as smart as J.R., but he was a Ewing and could do what needed to be done.

Pamela, played by Victoria Principal, was Bobby’s wife. The first episode showed why this was such a big deal. Bobby eloped and came home with the daughter of Digger Barnes, Jock’s archenemy, and the sister of Cliff Barnes, J.R.’s archenemy.

Speaking of wives, Sue Ellen, played by Linda Gray, was the former beauty queen and long-suffering spouse of J.R. He chased women, and she responded by getting drunk. However, Sue Ellen fought back by having a few affairs of her own.

Lucy, played by Charlene Tilton, was another Ewing at Southfork. She was the daughter of Gary Ewing, the son who couldn’t stand the oil business and escaped to Knots Landing. As a growing boy, she was my favorite character.

Steve Kanaly played Ray Krebbs, Jock’s favorite ranch hand. He started out as an evil character but transformed into a good guy. The series began with him in the hayloft with Lucy, but later it is discovered that he was her uncle.

I remember all of those characters well, but a few other things stand out in my childhood memory. One was the opening credits with the classic Dallas theme. It interspersed scenes from the city of Dallas with the characters, and I couldn’t wait until they showed the field of my favorite team, the Dallas Cowboys. When my dad took me to a game in Texas Stadium, part of me thought I would see J.R. at the game.

I also remember “Who Shot J.R.?”, the original cliffhanger. Everybody spent the summer wondering who shot him. What stands out to me? I figured it out. It was Kristin Shepard, Sue Ellen’s sister. Want some real trivia? Kristin was played by Mary Crosby, the daughter of Bing Crosby.

So, there is my ode to Dallas. Rest in Peace, Larry Hagman. You brought us some great memories. If J.R. could have bought Jeannie from Tony Nelson, then there’s no telling what he could have accomplished.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Television Guide

20 Nov

A few posts ago, I wrote about the wonders of television in the early years of cable. Everyone was amazed when we could watch more than three channels, and there seemed to be an endless supply of on air entertainment. However, it wasn’t long before we began to complain about nothing on television to watch.

Well, these days we have Direct TV and hundreds of channels, and people still complain about nothing to watch. I know that I complain about it, anyway.

I would rather have them guide me.

With nothing better to write about, I decided to page through the channel guide and see what comes on at 9:00 tonight. There could be something on.

ABC – Castle (never saw it before)

Public Television – The Dust Bowl (by Ken Burns)

CNN – Anderson Cooper 360 (cancelled his daytime show because he’s a vampire)

See his fangs emerging?

ESPN News – SportsCenter (for the 18th time today)

MLB – To Be Announced (realized nobody watches MLB baseball anyway)

NBC Sports – Poker After Dark (a show I would actually watch)

Especially when she is playing.

Liquidation Channel – Gift Spectacular (skip Black Friday)

Food Network – Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (met a woman this week who called it Triple D)

I think it would be a good idea to open a restaurant in New York City.

E! – Nicki Minaj: My Truth (admits that she sucks)

Home Shopping Network – Twiggy London Fashions (Did Twiggy eat herself to death?)

Twiggy, the first supermodel.

TNT – The Mentalist (one of a million crime-solving shows)

We – Roseanne (Ugh!)

I’ll say it again. Ugh!

A&E – Intervention (watch someone else’s suffering to make yourself feel better)

TLC – Breaking Amish: The Shunning Truth: Extended Episode (only a special episode would include two colons)

ID – Disappeared (solve a non-fictional crime this time)

Disney – Good Luck Charlie (probably going to need it to be a successful Disney star like Brittney)

Nickelodeon – Drake & Josh (has any Nick star gained more fame?)

ION – Criminal Minds (another crime-solving show)

Can we catch the sadistic killer within the next hour?

NOVA – Programming Will Return (out to lunch)

BET – Mama, I Want to Sing (girl goes from church choir to pop star – hope it ends better than Whitney’s story)

VH1 – Marrying the Game (yeah, I’m not sure)

C-SPAN – Tonight From Washington (pulls the money directly from your pocket and into the Beltway)

Carrying the load, man. Carrying the load.

The Weather Channel – Weather Center Live (what do they do without a natural disaster?)

Daystar – Jesse Duplantis (evangelist that I’ve never heard of – bad for a Bible Belt resident)

BYU TV – The Song That Changed My Life (followed by The Many Wives of Dobie Gillis)

AUDIENCE – Blackberry Smoke (southern rock)

HBO2 – Seabiscuit (a guy in high school was nicknamed Seabiscuit)

HBOLatin – Epitafios (Argentinian crime-solving show)

Where are all the hot women from the Mexican soap operas?

Cinemax 5 – Something Borrowed (Cinemax After Dark has better romantic-comedies)

Starz – Martin Lawrence Presents 1st Amendment Standup (the Constitution is always a good comedic source)

Starz Cinema – Made in Dagenham (a classic starring Sally Hawkins)

Encore Suspense – Diagnosis Murder (Dick Van Dyke is a doctor who does not trip over stools)

Showtime – Primary Colors (Clinton did that stuff before he was president, too?)

Don’t worry. I’ve don’t this a bunch of times. Have a cigar.

Showtime Next – Leaves of Grass (about a professor who fights crime)

Flix – The Deer Hunter (used loaded guns in the Russian Roulette scene)

Method Acting.

MGM – Kiss the Bride (would rather watch an Argentinian crime-solving show)

Palladia – Palladia Special (no information available)

I think I will skip all of that and get on the treadmill.

Tags:

Freedom

19 Nov

That’s a word that has been stuck in my mind, and I don’t know why. It keeps shooting around in my brain like a pinball, and, each time it hits a bumper, another question pops up. What does it mean? Does it really exist? Why do we hear it so often?

Here in the United States, people see freedom as one of the foundations of the nation’s structure. Freedom of Speech. Freedom of the Press. People fight to protect our freedom. Freedom is everywhere, but, then again, it’s not. People are not free from responsibilities. People are not free to pack up anytime they want and move. People are not free to drive on the left side of the road.

Some people say that our freedoms are being taken away because religion has been taken out of schools. Those same people believe that women should not be free to have an abortion. Can we pick and choose our freedoms? Who decides what freedoms are right?

Some people say that freedom used to exist but has been slowly eroded. They look into history to prove that the good old days were filled with something that has been lost. Often, they will point to my area of study, the American West, and use cowboys as examples. They had the freedom to get on their horses and ride the plains. They didn’t have a care in the world except where they were going to camp for the night.

Guess what. They weren’t free either. Cowboys worked difficult jobs for little pay. They would have done another job if they could have gotten the work. Cowboys didn’t have freedom. They had paychecks.

I don’t know what freedom is, but I know the following:

Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose – written by Kris Kristofferson and famously sung by Janis Joplin

Freedom is defined as the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action – Merriam-Webster

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction – Ronald Reagan

A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself – Jim Morrison

Nobody can give you freedom – Malcolm X

Freedom lies in being bold – Robert Frost

Punk is musical freedom – Kurt Cobain

Freedom to joke; Freedom to hope; Freedom to win; Freedom to be in – Simply Red

Freedom, that’s just some people talking. Your prison is walking through this world all alone – The Eagles

So, what is freedom? I reckoin freedom is being able to put all of that in a blog post.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Childhood Memories – TBS

16 Nov

When this blog was in its infancy, there were a couple of posts called Childhood Memories. One was about my parents taking me to an Elvis concert. Another was about the cross-country trips that my family took every summer. Yet, another was about our weekend excursions to Gatlinburg. It’s been a while since Childhood Memories made an appearance, and I felt it was time to bring it back out.

I remember how great it was when we first got cable television. No longer was I limited to three real channels and a fuzzy PBS. There was much more television to explore. Australian Rules Football on ESPN. Cheap looking news sets on CNN. Slime pouring from the sky on Nickelodeon. It was a potpourri over never before seen material.

However, a lot of cable channels were filled with before seen shows. Reruns of shows that had faded into off air oblivion only to be revised as time fillers. Some, like My Little Margie, went back to my mom’s formative years, but most were the shows that my older brother grew up with. Gilligan’s Island. The Munsters. The Andy Griffith Show (my all-time favorite). The list goes on and on.

Everyday brought adventures that had been replayed countless times, but my favorite cable watching time was Sunday mornings. Before getting ready to go to church, I would hop in a chair; cover up in a blanket; and turn it to TBS. First, I watched The Three Stooges beat the crap out of each other. People talk about violence on television these days, but I don’t think anything is like seeing a guy get hit over the head with a crowbar.

Going against the grain, I liked the Shemp version of the Stooges a lot better than the Curly version. Curly worked at being funny, but Shemp brought it naturally.

The best of the Stooges.

Moe was just meaner than Hell, and I am not sure what role Larry was trying to play. Whatever the case, I watched The Three Stooges religiously on Sunday mornings.

However, that was just the opening act for the true reason to watch TBS. When the Stooges got out of their jams, it was time to watch the Robinson family never get out of theirs. I was fascinated by Lost in Space. Will and Robot. Don and Judy. John and Maureen. Penny. Dr. Zachary Smith. Heck, the Jupiter 2 was a character all its own.

They are not Swiss, but they are the Robinson’s.

It was an awesome show, but here is the thing. Just as I liked Shemp better than Curly. I liked the black and white Lost in Space better than the color one. The black and white version had a seriousness to it. The first episode was a realistic glimpse into the space program. There was suspense as Dr. Smith and Robot were out to destroy to mission. When the family found themselves lost on unknown planets, danger faced them at every turn. A trip in the Chariot meant avoided whirlpools, earthquakes and giant aliens. I can’t describe how cool it was.

Then, the show changed. It went to color and the aliens became pastel colored vegetables and interplanetary carnival barkers. Dr. Smith became a comedic character who constantly fought with Robot. Each episode was filled with lines like:

“You bubble-headed booby!”

“Oh, the pain, the pain.”

In short, it went the way to The Three Stooges. I read that the show changed because it had to compete with Adam West’s campy version of Batman. It wasn’t a good decision, but hindsight is 20/20.

When Lost in Space was over, it was time to get ready for church. As I sat in the pew drawing on offering envelopes, I though about Stooges poking the eyes out of each other and Robot saying, “Danger, Will Robinson!” The whole time I was wishing that I was back home watching TBS. I remember many episodes from those shows, but I don’t remember much about what I heard in church.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Alternate Versions of My Image

14 Nov

Somewhere in the archives of Surrounded by Imbeciles is a post about Googling myself. It turns out that there are a lot of me’s in the hinterlands of the Internet. Since I can’t think of anything to write about, I decided to return to this theme and Google images of me.

Let’s see what alternate versions of me pop up.

Here’s the very first one. I hope that he is playing the theme song for The Benny Hill Show.

I wonder if birds ever crap on his shirt and cover up the turtles.

Yes, this is my car. I am the blue version of Thomas Magnum. My friend T.C. will be arriving in his Lifesaver-themed helicopter.

Is this what a history professor is supposed to look like?

Hey, I am multi-talented when it comes to instrumentation. First, a saxophone. Now, a guitar.

If I could only find a lead singer, then I would have an alternative me band. Hey, what do you know?

I’m pissed that I have to be on the radio. I was meant to be on television.

I know, the beard really makes a statement. I’m not sure what the statement is, but it makes it.

Me the sideways Hermit.

I know you aren’t looking at me because you are wondering what that thing is on the wall. Could it be a giant, multi-colored rendition of sperm?

There are hundreds of these out there, but I will stop. You guys have probably had enough. Besides, I may need to come back to this subject when I can’t think of anything else to write.

Tags: , , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →