Tag Archives: Hot Tamales

When I Am Elected King…

4 Sep

Throwing chewing gum on the ground will be a federal offense.

Gambling will be legalized in every state.

John Wayne’s birthday will be a holiday, and everyone will be required to watch one of his movies.

People will be required to read at least one book per year.

Time will not fall back or spring ahead. It will stay the same throughout the year.

It's good to be the king.

It’s good to be the king.

Everyone will have the opportunity to see the Grand Canyon.

Country music singers will be required to stand behind a microphone to sing. Willie Nelson never jumped around, and they don’t have to, either.

AC/DC will play at my coronation.

American history will be a required area of study at all levels of education.

My motorcade will consist entirely of Camaros.

Smokey and the Bandit will be shown in theaters throughout the land.

Nick Saban will be banned from coaching college football.

The word “coupon” will be stricken from the English language.

When you slide your credit card into the gas pump, it will not ask you any other questions.

Hot Tamales will be the official candy of the nation.

I will let everyone know what has been going on at Area 51.

After all of that, I will get to work.

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Sweet!

3 Oct

I am sitting in the theater surrounded by men in tuxedos and women in expensive gowns. My eyes are closed. My palms are sweaty. I know that I am being watched on a split screen by millions of people, and they are watching me freak out. Suddenly, I hear my name called out. Everyone begins to clap as I hug the people around me. I give a big kiss to the blonde that is accompanying me, but I can’t remember her name. After all, we just met a few hours ago.

I can’t feel myself walking down the aisle and onto the stage. But, I know who’s waiting for me. Winona Ryder, the presenter, is smiling and looking at me with eyes that are saying this is not the only award I will be getting tonight. I give her a kiss on the cheek as she hands me….

Is it a dream? Kind of but not really. Today, I was honored to receive this award from Fern over at The Fur Files. Check out her blog. She writes about a bunch of things, including marriage and sex. Wait, marriage and sex go together?

I am not sure what rules I need to follow to complete the reception of this award, so I am just going to list my favorite Sweets.

I wonder if it is as sweet right side up.

Angels sang when Hot Tamales were first born in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

This song by James Taylor.

Sweetness!

This song by Aerosmith.

The aforementioned Miss Ryder.

Thanks again, Fern.

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