Tag Archives: Limericks

The Pelican Brief

16 Nov

You may know these lines.

A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His bill will hold more than his belican,
He can take in his beak
Enough food for a week
But I’m damned if I see how the helican!

It is a limerick of some fame. In fact, some consider it one of the best limericks of all time.

Through the years, I have heard several limericks, and some of them have stuck in my mind. There is the one about Nantucket. There is also one I heard in a movie about a young lady from Niger who rode on a tiger.

Bonus points for anyone who can tell me what movie featured that one.

Now, back to the pelican limerick. Most people think it was written by Ogden Nash. Apparently, Nash wrote a bunch of limericks, and, when people do not know who wrote something, they automatically think he did it. Look it up. The name of Ogden Nash is all over The Pelican.

However, here is the thing. Ogden Nash did not write this one. The Pelican was written by Dixon Merritt, who lived in Lebanon, Tennessee.Dixon Merritt

His name is prominent in our town’s history. There is a building at Cedars of Lebanon State Park that bears his name. He also taught at Cumberland University; edited The Lebanon Democrat and The Tennessean newspapers; served as Tennessee State Director of Public Safety; and was an amateur historian.

On top of all that, he was a poet, and most people did not know it.

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Planetary Underwear, Mouse Ears and Unsolved Mysteries

7 Sep

There’s not much happening in my mind tonight, so I am going to break out the old Inspiro app to see what pops up. For those not in the know, Inspiro is designed to break writer’s block and pump out potential ideas. It produces word combinations and scenes that could inspire a story. Different sections create different things, but one thing is certain. Some weird stuff comes out of it.

The Muse

Early American prostitutes first thing in the morning– This has some real possibilities – especially for an expert in historical prostitution like me. This post is supposed to be an attempt at entertainment, but this line is thought-provoking. Prostitution was rampant in the British colonies and throughout the Revolutionary period. Heck, it has always been rampant. Morning is just as good a time to get a prostitute as any other.

This is a lot more fun than dumping tea in the water.

Handmade underwear on Uranus– Isn’t underwear designed to cover Uranus?

Put on some drawers!

Silent tubas in the 1930s– I think tubas are just as good silent as noisy. Think about marching bands. Tubas can be used as a dancing prop. They can be used to form words. In the 1930s, they could have been used as shelter by hobos.

Yes, there are such people.

Scenarios

A woodpecker involved in a love triangle with an alligator – I can hear Troy from Swamp People now. “What’s he doin’ to that peckerwood? Choot ’em! Choot ’em!”

Laugh your way out of this one, Woody.

A mouse sitting on top of your best friend– Uh, dude. There’s something on your head.

It could be worse…Actually, it couldn’t.

A prostitute sitting on top of a gangster –This has never happened. Who would even think something like this?

When I Googled “prostitute sitting on top of a gangster”, this is not the image that I expected to pop up.

The Daydream Machine

A dirty mind can be poetry– There once was a man from Nantucket…Well, you can fill in the rest of it.

I have found the church for me.

The unknowable is sometimes mystery –Sometimes but not all of the time.

The real mystery: how many times did Robert Stack have plastic surgery?

The AntiChrist looks like hot sex– This is exactly what I learned in church. No wonder I haven’t been back.

Google AntiChrist, and you will see that the AntiChrist does not look like hot sex. He looks like two people: George Bush and Barack Obama.

That’s it. I’m finished being inspired by Inspiro. Next time, I will try to write a real post.

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