Tag Archives: Music

Why is Starting to Write Always the Hardest Part?

3 Dec

As as a historian, there are two aspects to my profession. Obviously, we are expected to teach, and that is what I got into the business for. I really like to talk about history, and that’s what the classroom is all about. However, we are also expected to write and publish articles and books. This is where I am lacking. That may sound weird since I am writing a blog, but I am hoping that this will help loosen up my writing in other areas. I can never get started. I had a terrible time with my Masters thesis because I could never figure out how to start it. It rolled out as soon as I got going. I also faced the same problem with my Doctoral dissertation. So, here’s the question? Why is starting to write always the hardest part? Does the subject not inspire me enough?

I wrote a short story once. The whole thing just came to me all at once. It was running like a movie through my head, and I had to get it out. I wrote and wrote until there were 60 pages. It was about a couple whose daughter had been abducted and murdered. As a result, the marriage struggled until they moved to a faraway city. There he became a detective who specialized to finding lost children. I won’t tell the whole story here, but, suffice it to say, it was the only time I was inspired to just sit and write with the length and detail I need for my profession.

And, here is the thing. The story came to me while I was listening to one of my favorite songs, “Badge” by Cream. Each line led me to a different part of the story. I even used the lyrics throughout the story. They are not used in order. I took a song; rearranged it; and made something else out of it. If you don’t know the song, then here are the lyrics:

Thinkin’ ’bout the times you drove in my car.

Thinkin’ that I might have drove you too far.

And I’m thinkin’ ’bout the love that you laid on my table.

I told you not to wander ’round in the dark.

I told you ’bout the swans that they live in the park.

Then I told you ’bout our kid, now he’s married to Mabel.

Yes, I told you that the light goes up and down.

Don’t you notice how the wheel goes ’round?

And you better pick yourself up from the ground

Before they bring the curtain down,

Yes, before they bring the curtain down.

Talkin’ ’bout a girl that looks quite like you.

She didn’t have time to wait in the queue.

She cried away her life since she fell off the cradle.

I have no idea what all that means, and I don’t know where the story came from. I only wish that something could inspire me to write history as well as that song inspired me to write the story – the only story I have ever written. I even wish I could write another one of those.

In an attempt to find inspiration for another story, I downloaded an app called Inspiro. It comes up with phrases or scenarios to spark the imagination and maybe a narrative. However, it’s kinda dumb. As an experiment, I will crank up the “Scenarios” section and show you what comes out.

1. a sheep involved in a love triangle with a weasel (I wonder what the third animal is.)

2. a violent real dickhead sitting in the library next to your neighbor (This has possibilities for a serial killer story I suppose. The cause of death could be suffocation by condom.)

3. a real dickhead doing a slo-mo “beach run” towards a lighthouse keeper (A phallic symbol running toward another phallic symbol. The lighthouse keeper needs to hope that he is not the third in this love triangle.)

4. an Elvis impersonator loving a politician (Now, this has some possibilities. I imagine the politician being Nancy Pelosi, but she is beneath Elvis impersonators on the “importance to America” scale.)

Now, a few from the “Muse” section.

1. careless locksmiths with Danzig (Danzig was/is a great band. I can see locksmith’s losing their keys while jumping and shouting to “Mother”.)

2. lugubrious jackets up your ass and around the corner (What does lugubrious mean?)

3. potbellied spies possessed by a demon names Pazuzu (Hey, this is good. Think about an old Sean Connery and an old Roger Moore being taken over by demons and getting in a fight with Max von Sydow.)

4. mummified drawings as a punch line to a bad joke (What do you call Egyptian tomb filled with marijuana? High-roll-glyphics)

Not very inspiring is it? Maybe I’m still stuck with nonsensical lyrics to classic rock songs. But, what am I going to do about writing history?

The search for inspiration continues.

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Childhood Memories – Elvis Presley

30 Nov

When I was six years old, my dad came home with an announcement. Elvis Presley was performing in a nearby town, and, through a friend of my dad’s, we had gotten front row seats. I remember only bits and pieces of the night, but this is my version of the events.

As we walked into the concert venue, a basketball arena on a college campus, I noticed bright lights and a haze in the air. I assume this was the clouds of smoke from cigarettes burning throughout the arena, but it could also be the effects of my imagination. There was a bustle of excitement as we got to our seats. I remember thinking how high the stage was and wondered what would happen if Elvis fell off. My parents, my 16-year-old brother and I sat and waited for the show to start. However, it wasn’t long before a woman offered my brother $100 to trade seats. $100? In the mid-1970s? That was a fortune. She explained that she had been kissed by Elvis numerous times and wanted to be in position to get kissed that night. My brother got the money, and my dad moved to her seat.

Soon, the lights went down and screams could be heard throughout the arena. I don’t know who the screamers were, but they must have been disappointed when a comedian came on stage. He told jokes that I don’t remember. However, I got the sense that no one was really listening to him. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. In fact, I remember him more than I do Elvis. The comedian finished his show, and the energy of anticipation returned to the building.

Then, I remember the room being dark as this cool music began to play. As it got louder, Elvis walked onto the stage. I was totally disappointed. I thought he would come out in a white suit like he was famous for. Instead, it was blue.

The suit must have thrown off my interest because I can’t remember much of what happened after that. I waited until he sang “Hound Dog”, my favorite song, and sang along with him. My lack of memories about his performance could be attributed to several things I reckon. Maybe it was my age. Maybe I was sleepy. But, it was probably the women that were around. Instead of watching Elvis up on that high stage, I watched women hide behind our seats and try to jump onto the stage when the guards weren’t looking. There was a bunch of them, but they all got tackled in midair and sent back to their seats. However, that is nothing compared to what happened later.

Toward the end of the concert, Elvis was handed a bunch of scarves to pass out. Suddenly, my mom, who is very reserved, walked up to the stage to get a scarf. She arrived before anyone else, and Elvis handed her a green scarf to match her outfit. As she turned, other women were rushing the stage. One woman stopped; grabbed my mom’s scarf; and tried to steal it. In front of her sons, aged 6 and 16, my mom got into a fight at an Elvis concert. She struggled and clawed with the woman until two college coed’s helped wrestle the woman away. In return, my mom gave them the scarf. She reasoned that she got to talk to him anyway, but she has regretted that decision ever since. After the fight, Elvis left the stage, and we headed out with my mom yelling at my brother for not helping. He was yelling back that he was too embarrassed to help and couldn’t believe that she abandoned me. We looked back to see a mob of women knock over someone in a wheelchair in the hopes that Elvis would come back. All I remember next is the continuous announcement, “Ladies and Gentlemen! Elvis has left the building!”

My next memory is waiting at the car for my dad to arrive and watching a helicopter take off. I have always wondered if Elvis was on that flight. Then, I threw up.

Because of that experience, I have always had a fascination with Elvis and his life. I have visited Graceland several times and went to a concert during Elvis week. Elvis sang on the screens as his original band played. For the first time, I got a sense of what the people at my first Elvis concert felt. I have been to many shows, and a dead Elvis gave a more riveting performance than 90% of the alive acts I have seen.

I recently read “Last Train to Memphis” and “Careless Love”, a two-volume biography of Elvis, and found the time when I saw him very interesting. The comedian had gotten booed off of several stages for making racist jokes and not being funny. But, Elvis loved him and refused to let him go. This was also a time when Elvis was in terrible health. Most people thought he was fat, but that is not the case. Drug abuse had caused massive constipation and inflammation of his intestines. At the same time, his abdomen muscles were weakening. Elvis’ “fat” was actually his intestines bulging out through weak muscles. In this kind of condition, Elvis refused to record any usable material. The only way he could make a living was by touring. He would go on short tours to smaller venues, an assurance that he would sell out. Then, he would rest for a couple of weeks and go on another short tour.

Elvis died a couple of years after I saw him perform, and I realize that I saw a shadow of the man. That’s what fascinates me. He hypnotized a crowd with a sickly, poor performance. Women, including my mom, were going nuts over an unhealthy, bloated drug addict who couldn’t remember the words to his own songs. If he had that kind of charisma at the end, then what must he have been like at the height of his powers. I wish I could have seen him then because he was truly the “King”.

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What is the Last Song You Would Want to Hear?

8 Nov

I was driving down the interstate as my girlfriend scanned through radio stations. She loves country music, and I tolerate it. I have often theorized that my distaste for country music comes from growing up near the capital of the genre. Whatever the case, I needed to break the scanning pattern, so I asked, “What is your all time favorite song?” She really couldn’t say and asked me the same question. Typically, I couldn’t say either. However, it reminded me of something I did in high school. I would think to myself, “Self, if you were dying what’s the last song you would want to hear?” Morbid I guess, but sometimes teenagers have morbid thoughts. I can’t remember what songs I chose then, but I have some ideas of what I would choose now. In no particular order they are:

1. “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” by Bob Dylan – First, it’s a great song. Second, it plays over one of the great dying scenes in cinema history. In “Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid”, Slim Pickens has been gut shot. As he holds his stomach, he and his wife, played by Katy Jurado, look into each other’s eyes for the last time. She is crying, and he is in shock. This is one of my favorite movies because Sam Peckinpah, the director, shows the destruction of the frontier by killing western character actors throughout the film.

2. “Hotel California” by The Eagles – In junior high, I had one of those tapes that showed devil worshipping in popular music. Sometimes it played songs backwards to show secret messages. “Hotel California” was played forwards because it was obviously the work of Satan.  I was fascinated and fell in love with the song. It was later that I realized the devil worshipping claim was a result of religious ignorance. Despite my disappointment that the devil was not at the hotel, I can still see the story in my mind when it plays.

3. “Across 110th Street” by Bobby Womack – This soul classic comes from the era of Blaxploitation films. The movies are great, but the music is better. I have always loved 70s soul, and this is one of the best. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong place, wrong time and wrong skin color. Maybe I will be reincarnated as a 70s pimp.

4. “A Whiter Shade of Pale” by Procol Harem – This is another song that I can envision in my mind as it plays. I can’t describe it. I can only quote it.

She said there is no reason.

And the truth is plain to see

That I wandered through my playing cards,

And would not let her be

One of sixteen vestal virgins

Who were leaving for the coast.

And although my eyes were open,

They might just as well been closed.

How psychedelic is that?

5. “More Than a Feeling” by Boston – This is a story of lost love and the memories that follow. It brings to the surface the great regrets of my life. I, like numerous others, have decisions that I wish I could change. It doesn’t necessarily involve a lost love. It could be anything. This song brings about those thoughts and feelings.

6. “In My Life” by Jose Feliciano – I know. This is a Beatles song, and everybody thinks they are the best thing since sliced bread. I don’t care. Jose Feliciano did it better. His voice and singing style brings the belief that it is coming from his soul. In fact, I like just about everything he’s ever done.

7. “Early Morning Rain” by Elvis Presley – Written by Gordon Lightfoot, this is one of Elvis’ least known songs. It was featured on the “Aloha from Hawaii” broadcast and has been lost in the rest of that performance. I have been fascinated by Elvis since my parents took me to a concert. I was only 7 and only remember pieces. However, we had front row seats and still recall his presence. I’ve been to Graceland numerous times and read the two-part biography by Peter Guralnick. There has to be an Elvis tune on this list, and I choose this one.

8. “Way Down Under” from the “White Lightning” soundtrack – Burt Reynolds was in his prime as a B-movie southern redneck, and his career declined when he began making more “refined” movies. This movie is one of his best, but it’s the song that struck me the most. Played over the funeral procession of the sheriff, the lyrics are great.

At the backdoor of Hell

Is an old rusty bell.

And it rings with the sound of thunder.

Way down under.

9. “Numb/Encore” by Linkin Park and Jay-Z – The only thing I can say is that this is one of the coolest songs ever. The mixture of artists makes an already great song even better. If you are going to go out, then you might as well go out in style.

So, there is my list in November 2011. It has to be completely different from my 80s list and is probably different from my future list.

I realize that very few people have read this blog so far. But, if you read this post and find it interesting, then I would be interested in seeing your list.

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