Tag Archives: The Longest Yard

Movie Wisdom – Richard Kiel Edition

22 Jun

I was flipping through the channels and happened upon Pale Rider, one of those mystical Westerns that Clint Eastwood liked to make. It is not one of my favorites and, therefore, is something that I have not seen in a while.

I caught one aspect that I did not realize. The bad guy is played by John Russell, who also played the bad guy in Rio Bravo. I caught another aspect that I had forgotten. Richard Kiel is in the movie.

Kiel was one of those actors that stood out because of his physical persona. At over 7 feet tall, he played tough guys. However, he was also good at comedies. It had always been my opinion that Kiel’s stature overshadowed his acting ability.

To honor Richard Kiel, here are some words of wisdom that we can glean from his movies.Richard Kiel

From The Nutty Professor

You might as well like yourself. Just think about all the time you’re going to have to spend with you.

People just don’t like teachers blowing up their kids.

From The Longest Yard

Shaving points off of a football game, man that’s un-American.

From Silver Streak

Keep your foot on the pedal.

From The Spy Who Loved Me

When someone’s behind you on skis at 40 miles per hour trying to put a bullet in your back, you don’t always have time to remember a face.

It’s very important to have a positive mental attitude.

From Pale Rider

A man without spirit is whipped.

There’s plain few problems can’t be solved with a little sweat and hard work.

Starting fresh always sounds good when you’re in trouble.

From Happy Gilmore

You gotta harness in the good energy, block out the bad.

 

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Movie Wisdom – Burt Reynolds Edition

30 May

A couple of blogging ideas popped into my mind over the weekend, and I decided to smash them together to form a semi-regular series of posts.

First, I went on a quick trip to Chattanooga, which isn’t too far away, and crossed Monteagle Mountain along the way. Those not from Tennessee may not know about Monteagle, but it is one of the great spots in our state. It is also where the Bandit gained his notoriety. Don’t know what Bandit I am talking about? Well, there is only one Bandit, and that is the one played by Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit. According to the opening song, the Bandit became famous when he safely steered his jack-knifed truck down Monteagle.

As I crossed the mountain, I started thinking about a blog of my favorite Burt Reynolds movies.

Then, I published a post that included a profound line from one of my favorite movies. I have done this before and have noticed that it has become a habit in my blogging/tweeting life. With that in mind, I started thinking about a post of movie quotes that could also be used as guidance in our daily lives. It seems that screenwriters can be quite clever when given time to come up with something.

With those two ideas running through my mind, I came to the smash idea where I will take movie stars and list the “life guidance” quotes from their films. The quotes may be profound, funny, or just plain dumb. The common denominator is that I think they are great lines and can be useful in some way.

Before the listing begins, there are a few rules.

1. I must have seen the movie.

2. Each movie must include the mentioned movie star (although they may not be the one that says the line).

So, here goes with movie wisdom from Burt Reynolds movies.

From Deliverance

“Sometimes you have to lose yourself ‘fore you can find anything.”

“If you hit any rocks don’t hit ’em with your head.”

From White Lightning

“I was born ready.”

“The good, they die young.”

“Only two things in the world I’m scared of – women and the police.”

From The Longest Yard (The original. Not the Adam Sandler crap.)

“Shaving points off a football game. Man, that’s un-American.”

“I’ve always had my shit together. Always. My problem’s been I couldn’t lift it.”

From Smokey and the Bandit

“If you’re gonna hang out in places like this wear a badge on your didey.”

“Cowboys love fat calves.”

“I guess a legend and an out of work bum look a lot alike.”

“I take my hat off for one thing. One thing only.”

“When you tell somebody somethin’, it depends on what part of the United States you’re standin’ in as to just how dumb you are.”

From Smokey and the Bandit II

“When you raid a cathouse, you take the piano player, too.”

From The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

“I started out poor, and I worked my way up to outcast.”

From Striptease

“I don’t need no stripper to tell me how to live.”

From Boogie Nights

“What do you expect when you’re on top? You know? It’s like Napoleon. When he was king, you know, people were just constantly trying to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire. So, it’s history repeating itself all over again.”

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Brought to You By the Number 99

26 Apr

The 99th post. Wait a minute. Scratch that. This is not really the 99th post. I have deleted a few along the way that I deemed a little unfair to the subject matter. Despite that small issue, this is the official 99th post of the Surrounded by Imbeciles blog, and I can’t believe that it has gone this far. When I wrote the first post, I couldn’t imagine writing this many. I really couldn’t imagine it as I slogged through the first month with a total of 49 hits. But, here I am a few months later with words on the Internet; people I have met cyberly; and the satisfaction of knowing that I am still typing away.

Reaching 99 deserves a bit of celebration and recognition, and I know the perfect person…vampire…puppet…muppet to tell help out. Without further delay, here is Count von Count and the importance of the number 99 HA! HA! HA! HA!

99 Luftballoons – In 1984, Nena, a German band, recorded this song as a protest of the Cold War. It tells the story of kids who release balloons that are mistaken as weapons by the East Germans, who launch the world into a nuclear war. An English version, “99 Red Balloons” was recorded later. I always liked the German version better even though the only words I understood were balloons and Captain Kirk. Check out the video. It may bring back old memories or introduce you to something new.

99 – The number of Wayne Gretzky, the greatest scorer professional hockey has ever seen. I never knew much about hockey, but I, like everyone else, knew about “The Great One”. I was lucky enough to see Gretzky play against the Nashville Predators during his last year in the league. He did not score a goal that night, but I believe he had five assists (or some crazy number like that).

Agent 99 – I must admit that “Get Smart” was never one of my favorite shows. After school, the local stations always played reruns of old comedies. I liked Gilligan. I had a crush on Marcia. I wanted a pet dragon named Spot and a robot named Robot. But, I hated Maxwell Smart and his slapstick comedy. The only redeeming quality of that show was the hotness of Barbara Feldon as Agent 99. I only wish she would have used her skills to kill Maxwell. Then, it could have been “Get 99”.

January 4, 1999 – One of the great nights of my existence. You know what people say when something great happens. They say that it is the best thing that ever happened – except their wedding day and when they had kids. Well, I’ve never been married and don’t have kids, so I don’t have to tell that lie. Being in the stadium when my team, the University of Tennessee Volunteers, defeated the Florida State University Seminoles to win the first BCS National Championship is one of my top events. I don’t even know how to describe the 23-16 victory.

99 Bottles of Beer – A traditional song that everyone knows, I have no idea where it came from or who first sung it. I just know that when it is over I (A) feel like I have drunk 99 bottles of beer, or (B) wish I had drunk 99 bottles of beer.

99 Years Old – The age of Eddie Albert when he passed away. Don’t know who Eddie Albert is? Well, he most famously played Oliver Wendell Douglas in “Green Acres”, but he had a long and successful career in television and films. I liked him best as Warden Hazen in “The Longest Yard”. That is the original one starring Burt Reynolds and not the dumb one starring Adam Sandler. Why do they keep remaking great films? It’s difficult to improve on greatness.

That’s it for the celebration of 99. There were a few other important items to list, but the Count needs to get back into his coffin in the subway system below Sesame Street. If you have any other 99 ideas, then shoot them my way in the comments.

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