Tag Archives: Tia Carrere

Movie Wisdom – Don Johnson Edition

3 Jan

Occasionally, I delve into movies to find lessons to live by. There have been examinations of movies by Burt Reynolds, Don Knotts, Kevin Costner, Paul Newman and George Peppard. This post will look at the worldly wisdom that can be found in the movies of Don Johnson. Wait, that’s not right. It will look at the worldly wisdom of one movie starring Don Johnson, Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man.Marlboro Man

The movie was released in 1991 but had the 1980s written all over it. Don Johnson (Marlboro Man), and Mickey Rourke (Harley Davidson) are buddies on motorcycles in the future of 1996. An evil banker – bankers have been used as villains throughout the generations – is foreclosing on their favorite bar. To fight back, they rob the bank’s armored car to get the funds to pay off the bar’s note.

It turns out that the banker is also a drug dealer, and they rob the wrong cargo. Along the way, the get girls, get shot and get most of their friends killed. Some of these friends have product names like Virginia Slim, Jack  Daniels, and Jose Cuervo.

I must admit that it is one of my favorite movies, and I watch each time it shows up on the Direct TV guide. It’s not the best movie ever. It may even be one of the worst. But, it’s cool. It has Big John Studd, a professional wrestler; it has two of the hottest women of the 1980s, Vanessa Williams and Tia Carrere; and, it has Marlboro quoting stuff that his old man used to say.

My old man told me, before he left this shitty world, never chase buses or women, you’ll always be left behind.

My old man told me, before he left this shitty world, the right woman can make ya, and the wrong woman can break ya.

My old man used to tell me before he left this shitty world, five rules of playing pool for cash. Lesson #1, always shoot with a cigarette in your mouth. Lesson #2, always know the table before you shoot. Lesson #3, make sure you chalk that stick… real good… before each shot! Lesson #4, never make a bet… if you can’t pay the debt. Lesson #5, if you lose, make sure you stand up straight and tall like a man.

There it is – wisdom according to one of the best 80s movies made in the 90s.