Tag Archives: Twitter

iAddiction Revisited

31 Jul

In the early days of this blog, I wrote about being addicted to my iPhone. In that post, I stated my belief that Apple is the biggest drug dealer in history. They make products that people want and eventually need. Just look around. People are always looking at their phones. At restaurants. In class. In the car. At the movies. Our society has truly become addicted to this technology.iPhone Addict

I am no exception because I am on the iPhone all the time. From game apps to educational apps, I am always messing with them. I tell myself that the games help keep my mind sharp. Actually, they are melting my mind.

However, Twitter is the one that really gets me. I always look at it because I am afraid that I am going to miss something. I look at it before I go to sleep. I look at it when I wake up. The other night, I looked at it while I was watching a movie on television. Actually, I was listening to the movie while I looked at Twitter.

I don’t just read Twitter. I check to see if someone favorited or responded to one of my tweets. I check to see if I have another follower. It’s terrible.

That’s why I am cutting myself off for a few days. I am not going to look at Twitter (although this post will automatically be tweeted. I am not going to play games. All I am doing with my phone is call and text.

Knowing my iPhone habits and seeing it in others, I am beginning to think that there should be an iPhone Anonymous support group. Every other addiction has one.

Things I Thought Today

3 May

I thought that….The Thinker

they held a touching memorial service for George Jones.

people who constantly brag about their jobs are jerks.

with all of the vehicles on the road and planes in the air it is going to be difficult for us to give up our addiction to gasoline.

service in a restaurant should not be slow when only three tables are occupied.

Walmart is Earth’s version of the Star Wars cantina.

the last day of class is always a day of mixed emotions.

I’ve become addicted to Twitter.

the quesadilla I had for lunch was pretty good.

sports talk radio is going to run its course one day.

newspapers should never be a thing of the past.

Justified should be on year round.

Iron Man 3 is a movie that I have to see within the next few days.

I really need to get a new car.

going into a bank is better than going to the drive-up window.

McDonald’s has the best french fries.

the only way I could make it through a marathon would be to pretend that I was in a Godzilla movie.

a lot of kids play soccer, but not many play it when they get older.

I could come up with a better blog post than this.

honeybuns may be the greatest use of sugar in human history.

Bane, Beyonce and Buffalo Wild Wings

6 Feb

Everyone knows that the Super Bowl turned into the NFL version of Vicki Lawrence’s 1972 hit “The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia“. The biggest sporting event that the United States has to offer came to a screeching halt, and officials of all sorts began to scramble all over themselves. Well, Twitter didn’t come to a halt, and those in the Twitterverse began to scramble to come up with the wittiest comments.

Like millions, I scanned my Twitter feed during this dark time and, like millions, noticed that I was reading the same stuff over and over. Twitter people come up with some very imaginative and funny lines, but they can also become copycats. I noticed that a few themes began to emerge. The first person who tweeted this things were being original and funny. The next billion or so were a little late to the “Super Bowl of the Dark Ages” party.

Bane was everywhere. Or was it Baine. No, it could have been Bain. For a one syllable named villain, there sure were a lot of spelling versions. He was an obvious reference for the interrupted game. It the movie, he blows up the field during a kickoff return for a touchdown. In real life, the lights went out after a kickoff return for a touchdown. I understand the reference and found it clever the first time. But, I didn’t find it clever the 10,000th time.

SPELL MY NAME!!!

SPELL MY NAME!!!

Beyonce was also all over Twitter. Of course, she was all over Twitter before the lights went out. All of the tweets were about her pulling all of the power out of the stadium or about her booty bumping into the generator. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if either one of those were the actual cause.

We bow to you, Mrs Carter.

We bow to you, Mrs Carter.

I thought the references to Buffalo Wild Wings were the most ingenious. For those who don’t know, the restaurant chain has a long running advertising campaign where patrons delay sporting events to stay in the bar longer. If I was the CEO of Buffalo Wild Wings, then I would have a new commercial out a fast as possible.

Yes, it was us.

Yes, it was us.

Those were funny, even though they got stale after a while. Another trend I did not find funny at all. Several tweets went out that mentioned how it was rich people who were trapped in the Super Dome this time. Obviously, this was a reference to people being trapped in the Super Dome during Hurricane Katrina. Also obviously, it was coming from people with a more liberal view of politics. I know this because there were some other tweets about it being the fault of the GOP.

Making fun of the GOP is fine, but I felt that the tweets took light of the situation during Katrina rather than making an overt political statement. It’s strange that those who consider themselves the most enlightened are sometimes the cruelest when attacking those who disagree with them. Folks on the extreme left and right will think this crazy, but I think they have more in common than they realize. Close-mindedness and refusing to understand the other view come to mind.

Ok, I didn’t mean to get on a political soapbox when I am actually on a Twitter soapbox. Now, back on track.

I’m not good at being funny on Twitter because I have an affliction. I think of clever stuff after the moment has passed. With that being said, here are some not clever things that I thought about after it was all over.

Andrew Jackson saved New Orleans once. He should have gone down there and saved it again. I know. History humor is not that humorous. Still, it took a Tennessee person to save New Orleans from the British, so I figure he could save it from Bane or Beyonce or Buffalo Wild Wings.

Hell, they already put up a statue of him down there.

Hell, they already put up a statue of him down there.

As an aside, it seems to always take a Tennessee person to get something done. Jackson saved New Orleans. Sam Houston brought in Texas. James K. Polk grabbed California. Cordell Hull created the United Nations. Tina Turner was Beyonce before there was a Beyonce.

I also thought of Marie Laveau, the witch queen of New Orleans. Redbone sang a song about her, but there is something better. If you knock on her grave three times, then she may grant you a wish. I knocked, but I didn’t get the wish. I figure she turned out the lights because the Super Bowl interrupted Mardi Gras.

Knock three times.

Knock three times.

However, I had another idea that was most fitting. The lights went out to honor Don Meredith, quarterback and Monday Night Football personality. Watch the video to understand why.

Turn out the lgihts. The party's over.

Turn out the lights. The party’s over.

That’s about it for my Super Bowl Twitter analysis.

Class, Convocation and County Government

28 Aug

This day turned into the typical first day of class, but there were a few twists involved. I walked into my 8 o’clock class and, shock of shocks, everyone was there. This never happens on the first day. Heck, it never happens on any day, so I was pleasantly surprised. I went over the syllabus; laid down the law; and talked about the stupidity of Titanic, the movie version I mean.

That’s when I asked if anyone had questions about the class. A guy wearing shorts and a t-shirt raised his hand:

“Do we need to dress up for convocation?”

“If I was you I would wear long pants.”

“Is this shirt ok?”

“I think it will be. It’s not too wrinkled.”

As I stood there wondering what this had to do with class, a woman raised her hand:

“Where can I get a cup of coffee around here?”

Honestly, I don’t understand why people drink this stuff.

By now, I am figuring that my message got lost somewhere along the way, but I answered anyway.

“There is a coffee kiosk downstairs. It claims to be Starbucks, but I wouldn’t expect that. But, I don’t know. I only get the chocolate milk.”

With that, I dismissed class and went downstairs to get said chocolate milk.

This is me before I drink the milk.

Between classes, a student came by to drop a class. That’s a problem since I am not her advisor. Apparently, her advisor wasn’t around, and she came to me because she was in my class once. I had to explain that I couldn’t help her and asked if she could wait for her advisor to arrive.

“I don’t want to. They teach the class that I want to drop.”

Eventually, it became time for the afternoon class. It’s the same course as the earlier one, and that causes problems now and again. I always try to say the exact same things, and I never fail to realize that I forgot to say something to the first one. In this schedule, the second class always gets my best stuff.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, this class did not have any questions. I guess they already found the coffee place.

Next, the entire school went to the gym for convocation. I was correct in the last post. Speeches were made. The Alma Mater was sung. However, they didn’t break out the gowns. I was disappointed because it’s fun to see people in regalia. If you squint your eyes, then it looks almost like Hogwarts.

Harry must be making a speech or singing the Alma Mater.

That was pretty much it for the academic world, but the day was not over. I ran some errands before dinner and checked out Twitter to see what was happening in the world. In the local world of my county, our esteemed elected officials were voting on a property tax increase. This is not something I am in favor of because, well, I own a lot of property. And, that property has lost a great deal of value in recent years.

The county commission decided that it would be a good idea to raise taxes without lowering property values to the corrected level. I could go on and on about this, but, hell, government is government. It will not give up until it gets everything. My rant is going to be about a certain aspect of the meeting.

The vote to increase the tax ended in a tie, and the procedures dictate that the County Mayor break the tie. He says that one person should not make the decision for the entire county and refuses to go along. To me, this is ridiculous. He was elected to this position and should have realized that this might happen. He took the job but didn’t take the responsibility. That, my friends, is not what an elected official should do. Make a decision, whether popular or not, and stick with it. Don’t straddle the fence.

Udder Destruction

I’m not sure how we went from school to government, but I wonder if this cow produces chocolate milk.