Tag Archives: University of Tennessee

Oregon or Bust!

11 Sep

In and around the 1840s, thousands of people packed up their lives and their belongings to seek the Promised Land. That Promised Land was Oregon, and the Oregon Trail was the method for getting there. This involved hooking on to a wagon train in Missouri and following guides across the Great Plains and over the Rocky Mountains. It was a perilous journey, but one that they felt would lead to great reward.Oregon Trail

Along the way, they suffered from dysentery. They lost people and possessions while fording rivers. They watched as oxen died of exhaustion. They had wagon wheels break on mountain passes. They dumped valued items to lessen the weight of their load.

Many people made it to Oregon to establish new lives. However, many are also buried along the trail, left behind with pianos, chests and other pieces of furniture. It was truly a difficult and amazing migration.

Tomorrow, I leave for Oregon. However, I will not be taking the route the Marcus and Narcissa Whitman followed. I will be flying in a plane and will get there in a few hours. This is not my first trip to Oregon, but it will be the first time that I have had time to look around. It will be interesting to see the land that so many felt was important enough to risk their lives for.

I will also be going to a football game between the University of Oregon and the University of Tennessee. It will be a short trip but an interesting one. That means my next post will be about my migration to Oregon. I can’t speak for my cohorts, but, hopefully, I won’t get dysentery.

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Let’s Go Peay!

3 Sep

College football season has begun, and it was a rousing start for the University of Tennessee. With a 45-0 victory over Austin Peay State University, they got an easy but much-needed win. Instead of boring you with the details of the game, I have decided to share some information about the opposing school.

Austin Peay State University is in Clarksville, Tennessee, which is not too far from Nashville. Clarksville is known for a few things other than the university. It is the largest city around Fort Campbell, a major military installation and home of the 101st Airborne. Legend states that it is the Clarksville mentioned in “The Last Train to Clarksville” by The Monkees. In another musical connection, Jimi Hendrix was stationed at Fort Campbell when he was in the army.

Wilma Rudolph is probably Clarksville’s most famous native. During the 1960 Olympics, she was the first woman to win three gold medals in track and field.Wilma Rudolph

Rudolph did not compete for Austin Peay. Instead, she took her talents to Tennessee State University and its famous track and field team.

Athletically, Austin Peay State University is known more for a chant by the fans than by what happens on the field. To spur their teams to victory, the fans yell, “Let’s Go Peay!” Obviously, that has a double meaning and gets laughs from other fans. However, it was better in the 1970s when Fly Williams played basketball for APSU. A New York City playground legend, Williams managed to find his way to Clarksville.Fly Williams

When Williams was on the court, the fans chanted, “The Fly is Open! Let’s Go Peay!” It could be the greatest chant in college fandom history.

You may be wondering how a school can get a name like Austin Peay that leads to such chants. Austin Peay was the governor of Tennessee in the 1920s, when the university received its charter. Austin Peay

He signed into law the Butler Act, which outlawed the teaching of evolution in Tennessee Schools. This led to the Scopes Monkey Trial, one of the most famous trials in the history of the United States. Ironically, Peay stated that the law should never be put into effect. While it has been stricken from the books, the debate over the theory of evolution and creation continues well into the 21st Century.

I wonder if the evolution folks chanted “Let’s Go Peay!” when he signed the law.

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Hey, Duck! You Should Have Ducked!

30 Aug

A student dropped by my office, and I told him this story. I may as well put in on here, too.

The first rounds of the NCAA Tournament are played in Nashville on a regular basis. We try to get tickets because it is a fun event to attend. You see some great basketball games, and you get to interact with different fan bases. We have seen great upsets and a lot of blowouts. However, one event sticks out that didn’t involve the players.

Several years ago, the University of Oregon played the University of Utah in a first round game. I can’t tell you anything about the game. I don’t know who won, and I have no idea if it was close. I can tell you what happened during one of the breaks in play.

The Oregon cheerleaders were performing a routine in the middle of the floor. Before I go any further, I must say that Oregon has the best cheerleading squad that I have ever seen. I have been to countless sporting events, and no one is better than them.Oregon

That’s also what my buddy was saying as they performed. “Oh!” But, it was followed by a “my!”

Anyway, they were going through their performance when the Utah mascot, some kind of bird, starting walking around on stilts. Apparently, the Oregon mascot, a duck, thought he was getting too close to the cheerleaders. That’s when the duck confronted the bird and motioned for him to get off the court. The bird didn’t budge, so the duck did what any good mascot would do. He grabbed the stilts and started shaking them.

That’s when the Utah bird came off the stilts and decked the duck. The duck retaliated, and, before we knew it, they had each knocked off the other one’s head. The fight was on. A duck with a human head and a bird with a human head were duking it out. This wasn’t some tiddlywinks fight, either. There were some good punches thrown before they started wrestling on the floor.

In the meantime, the male cheerleaders from both squads were bumping chests and about to brawl. (Editorial comment: Male cheerleaders get a bad rap. It looks like a pretty good job to me. On top of that, they have to be pretty strong.)

Before things got too out of hand, security came over and broke up the mascots and the male cheerleaders. But, here’s the thing. The cheerleaders who were performing never broke their routine. It was just like nothing was happening. Maybe, they see this kind of thing all of the time.

In a couple of weeks, I am traveling to Oregon to watch my team, Tennessee, play football against them. I am not sure how good the game will be, so I hope there will be another mascot fight. I think Smokey can take him.

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Looking at the Future Through a Glass Filled with Jack Daniel’s

29 Aug

What happens when you mix cold medicine, Jack Daniel’s and a dystopian movie? Last night, I found out.

I have been under the weather for the past few days, which sucks because classes started over those same few days. Luckily, it was all about going over the syllabi. I am not a big medicine taker, but my wife convinced me that I needed something. I am certain she was right.

Reason #32 to get married = There is someone around to make you take drugs when you are sick.

She also thought that a little whiskey might help. Before you start thinking that she was trying to kill me by mixing medicine and whiskey, I need you to know that we have a happy home. Whiskey is an old remedy for colds and such. Grandmothers used to give it to kids. Of course, that is the old days. Today, that would be considered child abuse and somebody would call the government.

Reason #14 not to trust the government = They make you stop taking home remedies for sickness and make you buy health insurance.

I don’t know if whiskey cures a cold, but it certainly makes you think the cold is going away.

So, I was filled with cold medicine and drinking Jack Daniel’s when I got the urge to watch The Last Chase, a movie about a bleak future. Being a movie made in 1981, that bleak future was supposed to happen about ten years ago. It’s always weird to watch a movie depicting a future that is currently the past. That’s why movie makers and religious leaders who predict the end of the world should follow the same rule. When you envision a future of destruction, set the date a long way into the future.

Anyway, the movie stars Lee Majors, Burgess Meredith and Chris Makepeace.

It was supposed to be the transition of Majors from television star to movie star. That didn’t happen. Instead, he was making this movie while Ryan O’Neal was stealing Farrah Fawcett from him.Farrah Fawcett

At least, that is according to an interview with the director.

Burgess Meredith was not far from the success of Rocky, and I wonder why he signed up for this.

Chris Makepeace was the Jesse Eisenberg of the 1980s, playing the intelligent kid who did not fit in with everyone else.Chris Makepeace

He was in a couple of hits like Meatballs and My Bodyguard, and I began to wonder whatever happened to him. A quick Google search didn’t tell me much. According to the Internet Movie Database, he last appeared in something in 2001. There is a Chris Makepeace tribute page, but it is lacking, as well.

Now, back to the movie. Gas shortages and a plague sent the United States into a tailspin. In the future, the government has clamped down and declared no privately owned vehicles. Everyone is controlled by public transportation. Franklyn Hart is a former race car driver who longs for the old days. He rebuilds his car and plans to drive it across the country to California, which has gained its independence.

A young kid from a boarding school doesn’t fit in with his classmates and spends his time hacking government computers. He hitches a ride, and the two head out.

The government tries to stop them by getting a fighter pilot to chase them down and kill them. He wants to be a free as they do and sacrifices himself so they can make it to their destination.

I have watched the movie a bunch, but this was the first time I have seen it with drugs and alcohol in my system. This is what I picked up.

In the coming apocalypse, our cities will not be destroyed by bombs or rising sea levels. They will be overcome by matte paintings.

Taking drugs and drinking whiskey will make you feel numb.

In the future, Smokey the Bear is still fighting forest fires.

Speaking of smokey, it would be nice if cops of the future really drove black and white golf carts.

When our society breaks down and we abandon the heartland, the Native Americans will take their land back.

Only in the movies can the guy find a woman in the woods to hook up with.Alexandra

The kid learning how to drive in a race car is like taking a driving test at the Indy 500.

The government will stop trying to control Utah and Arizona. Apparently, they are too difficult to deal with.

The future will have sex clubs and promote group sex. The government much think that mass sex is the same a mass transportation.

Even in the future, the government will find a reason to massacre Native Americans.

In the future, a plane can be refurbished in a couple of hours.

For some reason, the look of boarding schools never change. Just ask the X-Men.

Coca-Cola still has a fizz after twenty years in the can.

Combining cold medicine and Jack Daniel’s is an enlightening experience.

Speaking of Jack Daniel’s, it is timeless and will continue to be produced in the future. Same label and everything.

Computer technology will regress to look and function like computers in the 1980s.

Colonel Steve Austin could have ran to California on one leg.

Lee Majors ages more gracefully in the movies than he does in real life.Lee Majors

By they way, he took his stage name from Johnny Majors, who played and coached football at the University of Tennessee.

Since it is football time, that is probably a good one to end on.

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Sunday Morning Coming Down

18 Aug

Yes, I lifted the title from a classic song written by Kris Kristofferson. It’s a great song made popular by Johnny Cash, but no one sings it like Kristofferson himself. Anyway, this post is not about the song. It’s about a regular Sunday morning at our house.

Necole always wakes up first, and her internal clock makes it happen. I have never had an internal clock that works like that. Mine always tells me to keep on sleeping. Mornings are the usual time for her to get things done around the house while everyone else is out of her way. However, I get the feeling that this morning was different and involved coffee, a chair, a blanket and the television.

Daisy Dog was the next one to wake up. I could feel her start to shift around on the bed. Then, the scratching began. That’s always the sign that she is awake. At some point, she will jump from the bed, and I get up to open the door for her. The rest of her morning has been filled with more lying around and looking out the window for rabbits.

I am the next person to arise, and this morning I arose earlier than usual. It was a combination of Daisy Dog and my knowing that tomorrow I will have to wake up early for real. Inservice begins. That means a day full of listening to people talk and a spirited game of Inservice Bingo.Bingo

Like I said, this morning came earlier than usual. With Necole all the way across the house, I texted her about the plans for the day. We had discussed trying a new church this morning, but that plan changed. Due to her mom’s birthday luncheon, the early service was the only one we could attend. We just didn’t see that one happening. Why?

Isabella is still asleep. She spent yesterday at the county fair and is probably to pooped to pop. Our county fair is the largest fair in the state. It’s really something to see.Wilson County Fair

Anyway, this has been a slow-moving morning. After getting out of bed, I got into the shower. I’m not someone who can be comfortable while feeling dirty. Once I am up, I need to get clean and get dressed. I usually don’t listen to the radio while in the shower, but, this morning, I was up early enough to catch “Big Orange Sunday” on 104.5 The Zone. It’s a show all about the University of Tennessee. It’s getting close to football season, so I need to get all of the information that’s out there.

After getting ready for the day, I wasn’t sure what to do. Usually, I head out, but there’s nowhere to go. Necole was watching country music videos. Daisy was looking out the window. Isabella was sleeping. I got on the computer. I hit all of the usual sites, but there’s not much to read.

That’s when I delved into the world of WordPress to see what was happening. That’s also when I decided to write this post. Now, I am in my office with crap piled on the desk. It is hard to understand how so much stuff can be accumulated in a short period of time.

Necole brought her bowl of cereal to the office and hung out for a few minutes. She’s big on breakfast. I’m not hungry when I first get up. Most times, I get a chocolate milk when I first get to work. At least, I used to. I think they have moved the snack bar from my building and put it somewhere else. That means that the only liquid available in my building is coffee. Wait, there is Coke. If there is one thing about caffeine, then it’s the fact that it’s better cold and carbonated than it is hot and in a cup.

That’s the morning so far. Now, let’s go out and see what the rest of the day will bring.

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Tennessee Traditions

16 Aug

I am a fan of the University of Tennessee, and that has been a rough experience in the past few years. While most Tennessee fans follow several sports, the university is considered a “football school”, and the football team has gone through the worst seasons in its history. Coaching changes. Bad losses. Few good wins. To put it bluntly, it has sucked.

Now, there is a new coach, Butch Jones, who is trying to breathe some life back into the program. He has hit the recruiting trail. He has reached out to fans and former players. Every fan I know thinks he has done a fantastic job – until yesterday. That’s when he unveiled a new uniform that the team will wear for a couple of games.Uniform

Immediately, the howls began from fans who said the uniforms were terrible. Reading Twitter and message boards, people typed over and over about how this was destroying Tennessee tradition. The team is Orange and White – not some charcoal gray.

This made me start thinking about some of the Tennessee tradition that they were talking about. My dad started taking me to football games when I was 6 years old. That was in the mid-70s. Since that time, I have been lucky enough to attend almost every game, both home and away. I have experienced the traditions of Tennessee, and they have become a big part of who I am. However, all of those traditions had a beginning. There was a first time that each one happened. I wonder what fans during those times thought about this new things that was being introduced.

Orange Jerseys – The team first wore orange on the field in 1922. Before that, they probably wore some color like gray. Oh, wait. I wonder if some fan sat in the stands and said, “This is a man’s game. Why are they wearing orange? It looks like those flowers over there.”

T on the Helmet – Have a big T on the side of the helmet is a Tennessee tradition. It started in 1964. I don’t know if anyone complained about it. However, Johnny Majors became coach in the 1970s and CHANGED THE T!!! It was blasphemy, I say.

Running Through the T – One of the most exciting times as a Tennessee fan is when the team runs onto the field through a giant T formed by the band. I guarantee that every fan dreams of doing it. The tradition began in 1965. That means Tennessee played football for 70 years before the team ran through the T. I bet some fan said, “Why are they making them run across the field like that? They should save their energy for the game.”Running Through the T

Rocky Top – This is one of Tennessee’s most famous traditions. Throughout a game, the band plays and the fans sing “Rocky Top” dozens of times. Opposing coaches and players have talked about how it drives them crazy. This song has become synonymous with Tennessee football. It was first played at a game in 1972. Before that, fans heard spirited renditions of “Down the Field”, the official fight song. I can hear it now. Some fan says, “We’ve been playing ‘Down the Field’ forever. It’s a tradition. I can’t believe they are playing this hillbilly music.”

Checkerboard Endzones – I saw a poll that said Tennessee’s checkerboard endzones are one of the most famous traditions in college football. They first appeared in the 1960s, then were taken away for a while. This is a tradition that wasn’t even thought enough of to keep around. I bet some fan said, “This ain’t checkers. It’s football, by God.”

The Vol Walk – This is a tradition that a lot of fans love. They line the street as the players walk to the stadium. It’s a long-held tradition that started IN MY LIFETIME! Nevertheless, it is a tradition.

I wrote all of that to say that traditions have to start somewhere and that the traditions of the program have always changed. There is a first time for everything, and, sometimes, that leads to something that people value for years to come. However, without the introduction we never know.

Here’s the bottom line for those who hate the new uniforms. It was not done for the fans. It was done for the current and future players. Guess what, they all love it. One recruit said the uniform was prettier than his girlfriend.

As I wrote at the beginning, the program has gone through hard times. Today’s recruits don’t remember that Tennessee won the first BCS title. They don’t know Heath Shuler, Condredge Holloway, Hank Lauricella or George Cafego. What’s more, they don’t care.

Here’s something else, all of those other traditions were probably started for the players, too. If I remember my Vol history, then the program struggled through the early 1960s. A young coach came in and jazzed things up with the T on the helmet; the checkerboard endzones; and a new way to enter the field. He did it to attract players. That’s what Butch Jones is doing with the new uniforms.

Oh, the color orange was picked by a football player.

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Saturday Night Ramblings

11 Aug

This is another one of those nights where nothing is coming to my mind. The house is mostly quiet because I am the only one around. The television is on ESPN, but the sound is turned down. The only sounds are the air conditioning and the wine cooler.

Speaking of wine, I just poured a glass, but I’m not big on having a drink when I am alone. Actually, having a drink is not at the top of my list at any time. I will have a glass of something at dinner, but then it will probably be only one. I know that a lot of people will have a cocktail or glass of wine to relax, but I have never had a problem relaxing. I don’t know. Maybe, it is all about control. I like being in that state and completely feeling what is going on around me. That’s hard to do while ingesting a depressant.

So, here I sit with the hum of cooling devices and a glass of wine that is going to be dumped in the sink. All of the rooms are dark except for the one I am sitting in. Obviously, it is an exciting Saturday night. It is so exciting that my mind has emptied itself of anything to write about. To fix that problem, I will throw some random thoughts out there as they pop in my head.

My nephew moved back to college today. He attends to University of Tennessee.

As I tweeted earlier, The Refreshments should have been a bigger band.

Ned Beatty’s speech in Network is awesome.

I miss my wife and will be glad when she gets home tomorrow.

College football will start in a few weeks. The most exciting game I ever attended was Tennessee’s victory over the Miami Hurricanes in the 1986 Sugar Bowl. Man, that has been a long time ago.

Wright Thompson is my new favorite person to follow on Twitter.

The Commodores only had one good song after Lionel Richie left, but Nightshift was one of my favorites.

For some reason, Sports Illustrated does not interest me that much anymore.

I really want to go back to Monument Valley.

Jerry Reed was the best real life person to make an appearance on Scooby Doo.

If you do an image search of Lebanon, Tennessee, then this is the first picture that pops up.City Hall

If you do an image search of Mt. Juliet, Tennessee, then this is the first image that pops up.Mt Juliet

If you do an image search of Watertown, Tennessee, then this is the first image that pops up.Watertown

That is all I have. Thanks for making it this far.

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Categorically

30 Jul

We just finished walking around the neighborhood. As we did, I noticed a man through a window. He was working at his desk, and I began to wonder what he was working on. Was he writing the next great novel? Was he writing a letter? Was he blogging? At the moment, I am sitting by a window, and people are probably looking in and wondering what I am doing.

I like to think that people like what they read here. It’s a hodgepodge of stuff, but it comes right out of my head. Sometimes, It’s travel. Sometimes, it’s music. Sometimes, its stories from the past. All the time, it’s something that is stuck in my mind and needs to get out.

I am not sure what needs to get out tonight, so I will just go down the list of categories on this blog and type this first thing that fits.Scattergories

Academics – School starts back soon. That means inservice.

Agriculture – The other day, I got gas at the Farmer’s Co-Op.

Art – There is a guy named Art who works at Beauty Boutique, Necole’s store.

Biography – The last one I read wasn’t very good, It was about Ward Bond, John Ford and John Wayne. It should have been good.

Books – I just finished The Eye of God by James Rollins. It is the further adventures of Grayson Pierce.

Childhood Memories – Tonight, I mentioned that my parents had a Weeping Willow in their front yard, and I used to play under it.

Comedy – Nothing is funny, at the moment.

Community – I was named to the local Planning Commission. This afternoon was my first meeting.

Crime – Tonight, I found out that a guy I once knew tried to kidnap his wife and lock her in a closet. Hopefully, he will get what’s coming to him.

Did You Know? – I forgot about this category. It needs to be revisited.

Dining – Tonight, we had a home cooked meal of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese and green peas.

Dreams – Lately, my dreams have been less than memorable.

Government – Necole went to the DMV this morning. There is no reason they should be that slow.

History – I am getting my lecture voice warmed up.

Movies – We watched Batman Begins, and I realized that the guy who plays Joffrey on Game of Thrones was in it.

Music – We have a couple of concerts coming up – Don Williams and The Eagles.

Nature – There’s a great article about sugar in the latest National Geographic. Everyone should read it.

Photography – In a few days, we are getting more wedding photos made.

Rambling Ruminations – I think that is what this post is all about.

Relationships – I’m married.

Religion – I would like to write about it more, but a few things are better left unsaid.

Sports – College football is about to start, and my team, the University of Tennessee, is in the Southeastern Conference. However, you’ll never hear me chant S-E-C. I cheer for one team and hope the other ones lose every week.

Stupid Stuff – It’s an accurate description of this post.

Television – I’m waiting for Justified to crank back up.

Therapy – I used to go. I don’t anymore.

Travel – We just returned from California and will be heading to Arizona soon.

Writing – Am I the only person who doesn’t mess with those writing prompts?

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That Senator in the Headlights Look

30 Apr

This afternoon, my brother sent a picture of my nephew with Lamar Alexander, two-time governor and current U.S. senator from Tennessee. Alexander has been a major part of this state’s political scene since the 1970s and ran in the presidential primary in the 1990s. In short, he has long been one of the most powerful politicians in Tennessee.Lamar Alexander

This post is not about Alexander’s political career or about my nephew having his picture made with him. It is about a night that my friends and I had a “run in” with him.

Several years ago, we were driving to Knoxville to watch the University of Tennessee play basketball. My friend Jeff was driving, which is always a little adventurous. He was the one driving when we encountered “The Terror on the Plateau“.

Anyway, we were running late and pulled into the parking lot a few minutes before the game was going to begin. Jeff was whipping through the aisles trying to find a parking place. He rounded a corner at what felt like a blazing speed when his headlights fell upon a man walking from his car. The man turned with that “deer in the headlights” look and raised his hands for protection. Honestly, he looked like the one-armed man in The Fugitive.One Armed Man

Jeff slammed on his brakes and skidded to a stop. The man stood there. We sat there. That’s when I said, ” Jeff, you almost ran over Senator Lamar Alexander.”

When the shock wore off, the senator walked away as fast as possible. We found a parking spot and made it to our seats, where we could see Alexander sitting across the court. A few minutes before the game was over, we noticed that he had left. We assumed that he wanted to get out of there before that madman got back behind the wheel.

Thinking back on that night, I have often wondered how history would have been changed if Jeff had plowed into a senator.

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Those Are Not Cheese Sticks

17 Apr

Several years ago, some friends and I traveled to Chicago to watch our favorite team, the University of Tennessee, play football. They were playing Notre Dame, and it seems that weird things always happen with those two teams get together. This weekend was no different.

Two of my friends, Mayor and Rick, flew up earlier in the day, and I flew up later with Larry. The plan was for us to meet at the hotel. Larry and I landed; made our way to the hotel; and found out that Mayor and Rick had gone out on the town. We decided to go out and grab some food.

The hotel sat a block from Michigan Avenue, so we walked over to see what we could find. We walked pass a steak place, but that wasn’t really what we wanted. Some other places looked interesting but didn’t appeal to us. Finally, Larry looked across the street and saw an Italian restaurant. It looked a little fancy for the way we were dressed, but Italian sounded like a good choice.

The place was definitely fancy, and it was packed. It was hard to walk through the place, but we squeezed our way to the bar. I can’t remember how long we waited, but I remember that we had a long conversation with an older couple from Nebraska. I also remember that the lady was covered in diamonds.

By the time we got to the table, Larry and I were both starving. The waiter, who had an accent that I can’t type in, came over for our drink order. Before he could get away, Larry said that we wanted an appetizer, and the following exchange took place.

“Hey, bring us some of these cheese sticks.”

“Sir, those are not cheese sticks. They are mozzarella slices.”

“I don’t care what they are. Just bring us some.”

It wasn’t long before we got the mozzarella slices.Mozzarella

Then, we ordered our meals. I can’t remember what I got, but I distinctly remember that Larry got lasagna. I also remember that he only ate about half of it. I thought that was weird because I had never seen Larry leave anything on a plate.

“What’s wrong? Is it not any good?”

“It’s ok. I just don’t want anymore.”

That was pretty much it, and we made our way back to the room. By this time, Mayor and Rick had returned. They told us what they had been doing, and we told them about the snobby waiter, but we didn’t talk for long because we needed to get up early to make it to the game. Mayor and Rick slept on beds while Larry and I slept on rollouts. This means that we were packed in there.

At some point, I heard Larry get up and step over my bed. None of us stirred, but we woke up pretty quickly. Larry went to the bathroom, and strange noises started coming out of there. He was moaning and groaning. He was grunting. We didn’t know what was happening, but we knew it must have been bad. It sounded like he was dying. This went on and on and on.

We started to get worried, and Mayor said that somebody needed to check on him. The problem was that none of us wanted to go in there. We didn’t know what we were going to see. All along, Larry kept making sounds that made me think of The Exorcist.Exorcist

At some point, one of us mentioned that we should take him to the hospital.

We were worried. Larry was dying. This was a serious situation. Then, it happened. Through the grunts and the groans Larry yelled, “THE SON OF A BITCH POISONED ME!”

That was the end of the seriousness. Although Larry was still struggling, the rest of us could not stop laughing. At some point, Larry made it out of the bathroom. He survived but his clothes didn’t. I’m not sure what happened to them, but the hotel probably had to call in a hazardous waste crew.

The next day, Larry went to the game, but he was pale as a ghost. Tennessee won on Saturday, but the waiter won on Friday night.

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