Last night, we saw A Million Ways to Die in the West. It was not the worst movie I have ever seen, but it was not the best, either. Being a fan of Westerns, I knew what they were trying to do, but they could not quite accomplish it. However, there were a few things that I noticed.
They filmed in two of my favorite locations in the West, Monument Valley and the area around Santa Fe. Monument Valley was immediately recognizable, and, to the discerning eye, the other landscape was undoubtedly northern New Mexico.
I also noticed something else. One scene involves a grizzled old prospector, typical with his white beard and ragged clothes. As he spoke, I thought that I recognized the voice. It took a few seconds, but I finally realized that it was Matt Clark, who has appeared in a bunch of great movies.
He is another one of those character actors whose face people may know even when they do not know his name.
Seeing him in A Million Ways to Die in the West inspired me to compile wise quotes from some of his movies. Remember, a movie only qualifies if I have seen it and if it contains words to live by.
From Will Penny
That stuff’s for doctorin’! It’s not for drinkin’!
Sharin’ a blanket don’t make us married.
Ain’t no good way to go.
We don’t all have the same choices.
From The Cowboys
Well, it’s not how you’re buried, it’s how you’re remembered.
Every man wants his children to be better’n he was.
We’re burnin’ daylight.
Big mouth don’t make a big man.
Sometimes it’s hard to understand the drift of things.
The cow is nothing but trouble tied up in a leather bag.
From Jeremiah Johnson
Elk don’t know how many feet a horse has!
Keep your nose in the wind and your eye along the skyline.
Watch your top knot.
From Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid
It feels like… times have changed.
Comes an age in a man’s life when he don’t wanna spend time figuring what comes next.
From White Lightning
The good, they die young!
From The Outlaw Josey Wales
Now remember, when things look bad and it looks like you’re not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. ‘Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win. That’s just the way it is.
Dyin’ ain’t much of a living, boy.
It’s sad that governments are chiefed by the double tongues.
Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms.
Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining.
I guess some folks don’t like to be called ‘high rollers’.
From Brubaker
You can’t reform the system if you’re not in it.
From The Quick and the Dead
Why is it that the man who begs for mercy never gives it?
From Back to the Future Part III
Your future is whatever you make it.
We all have to make decisions that affect the course of our lives.
From Barbarians at the Gate
Let them curse the darkness – we’re not handing out any candles.
From 42
Roses and sleep are two wonderful things. But sleep you can get when you’re in your casket, and flowers look great on top of it.
From A Million Ways to Die in the West
Hey, dude, you really shouldn’t drink and horse.
SBI: A Thinning Crowd 
Some good films there. I always liked ‘Will Penny’, don’t know why. ‘Don’t piss down my back and tell me its raining’ is one of my favourite movie quotes – I have used it several times!
It is a great quote from an awesome movie.
Possibly my favourite Clint western before ‘Unforgiven’. One of the best westerns ever perhaps?
It ranks in my top 5.
So what is your top 5? I’d like to compare it with mine.
This is off the top of my head and not in a particular order.
The Searchers
The Outlaw Josey Wales
Jeremiah Johnson
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid
Good list. Mine, in no particular order except the first one, which I consider the best western of all time:
The Searchers
Unforgiven
The Man who shot Liberty Valance
Shane
The Gunfighter
The list could easily change tomorrow of course.
Thanks for sharing!
I thought about listing Liberty Valance. It’s number 6.
So many great quotes, so few appropriate occasions!
If I could be in the Old West for a day, then I would use them all.
If you were in the old west for a day and used them then you would probably be dead!
That’s probably true. Some things are only successful in the movies.
Great post. Print the legend!
Thanks. It amazes me how some of these character actors pop up everywhere.
“Hey, dude, you really shouldn’t drink and horse.” My uncles tell a story of my grandpa violating this rule and trying to get on the horse from the back side. Obviously that didn’t go well, but lucky for him he survived.
It can’t be easy to get drunk and ride a horse.