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Iconic Memories

20 Apr

I don’t know how many of you are sports fan, but I am one. Well actually, I am a University of Tennessee fan and follow them in just about every sport as one of those sidewalk alumni that has no other connection to the school. My dad brainwashed me at an early age, and I will remain that way from now on.

We Tennessee fans faced a tough prospect today as Pat Summitt, the legendary women’s basketball coach, officially announced her retirement due to the effects of Alzheimer’s, a disease that has in some way affected most of the people reading this. That doesn’t make Pat Summitt different from anyone else who has faced this dreaded disease, but the memories that she has given Tennessee fans does. This isn’t a tribute to her career or legacy. Those have been written by people more qualified than me. This post is about the memories that her time as coach has given me.

The first time I remember seeing the Lady Vols play was when my dad took me to a men’s game. Back then, one ticket could get you into a double-header with the women playing before the men. That was in the early 1980s, but it would not remain that way for long. Eventually, the Lady Vols would play their own schedule with their own tickets. On top of that, their attendance would surpass that of the men’s team.

I saw them play other games through the years. Regular season games in Knoxville. A few regular season games at Vanderbilt. Some SEC tournament games in Chattanooga and Nashville. However, the most memorable game was during the 1998 NCAA Tournament. The Lady Vols came in undefeated and considered one of the great teams of all time, but they were playing a tough North Carolina team to go to the Final Four. With the game taking place at Vanderbilt, I was able to get tickets on the front row for this battle royale, and the following took place.

I sat down with my friend Larry and awaited the start of the game. Then, a blue-haired lady sat next to us. She was obviously a Vanderbilt fan and cringed when she saw the gym fill with people wearing orange. (Sidenote: Vandy and UT fans do not get along.) She looked at my friend and said:

Blue-Haired Lady: How did you get these seats?

My Friend Larry: My buddy got them from a member of the Vanderbilt Board of Trust.

BHL: Who? I’ll have to talk to him.

Then, the governor, wearing a UT cap, walked in front of us.

BHL: Look at the governor wearing that orange hat. I only voted for him because Lamar (Alexander, former governor and current senator) told me to. I won’t do it again.

That’s when I yelled, “Hey, governor!” A typical politician, he acted like he knew me.

BHL: Look at that son of a bitch.

This is when Lamar walks in .

MFL: Ma’am, there’s Lamar. Looks like he’s wearing an orange tie.

BHL: (Grumble) I’m not voting for him again, either.

The game starts, and UT is in trouble. They aren’t playing well, and North Carolina is taking advantage. The blue-haired lady is shaking her North Carolina shaker in Larry’s face and knew that the Lady Vols were going to lose. That’s when Pat jumped the officials and got a questionable call to help turn the game around. As the North Carolina people boo, Larry looks at me and says, “You get those kinds of calls at home.”

BHL: (Growls) I tell you one thing sonny boy. This is not your home.

MFL: (Laughing) Well ma’am, our side of the scoreboard says home.

BHL: You’ll never get seats down here again.

Pat and her ladies won the game and finished the season undefeated, but victories were not always part of the formula. The first time I remember watching the Lady Vols on television was in 1984. My dad and I watched the University of Southern California and the great Cheryl Miller beat Tennessee in the national championship game. It was a time when people believed that Pat Summitt could not win the big game. She finally won a national championship in 1987. Then, she won in 1989. And 1991. And 1996. And 1997. And 1998. And 2007. And 2008. It turns out that she could win the big game. Together, my dad and I watched them all.

People have written about Pat Summitt’s legacy and contributions in numerous areas of sports and society. For me, her legacy is all of the great memories she gave to people like me, my dad, my friends and other Tennessee fans. The tragedy is that a point will come when Pat Summitt, the person responsible for all of this, will not be able to remember what she did and the joy she brought to so many.

Childhood Memories – Gatlinburg

30 Mar

In the early days of this blog, I started a series of “Childhood Memory” posts and planned on it being a recurring theme. I completed a grand total of two – one about my fortune of seeing Elvis in concert and another about our family road trips. Obviously, the theme was neglected, and I moved on to other topics. Then, I read a recent post by Becoming Cliche about a family hike to Alum’s Cave Bluff, one of my favorite trails, and it reminded me of more childhood memories. Make no mistake, my family was not into hiking, but we spent many weekends in the area.

The trail to Alum’s Cave Bluff winds through the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in eastern Tennessee. Nestled in the hollow of those mountains at the entrance to the park sits Gatlinburg, a small town that grew into a tourist destination. I describe it as the Tennessee version of Vail.

Today, Gatlinburg is a collection of theme restaurant chains, drinking dives and cheap t-shirt shops. And, if you don’t know the back way you get to it by driving through the monstrosity that is Pigeon Forge. Don’t get me wrong. There are great places in the modern Gatlinburg like the Lodge at Buckberry Creek, but this isn’t the place of my childhood. My Gatlinburg existed when Pigeon Forge was a few buildings along the highway and t-shirts were made of better material.

Instead of writing an essay about the joys of old Gatlinburg, here is a list of the things I remember most.

Anticipating our arrival while taking the winding, creek-following road between Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg.

Playing miniature golf at Adventure Golf and my dad letting me win.

Climbing on the rocks in the Little Pigeon River

Having a picnic in the park and my grandfather (Daddy J) brining his red cooler full of Cokes.

Driving around the loop at Cade’s Cove.

Going to Christus Gardens and getting freaked out when the eyes on the Jesus sculpture followed me.

Watching the taffy machines in the windows of the candy stores.

Eating butter and crackers on the porch of Howard’s Restaurant.

Sitting in the rocking chairs of the Midtown Lodge and watching people walk by.

Begging my parents to let me play at Hillbilly Golf.

Skipping the Pancake Pantry because of the line and getting donuts at the Donut Friar instead.

Riding to the top of the mountain and taking a few steps on the Appalachian Trail.

Riding go-carts in Pigeon Forge and my dad letting me win.

Eating the caramel off the caramel apple and leaving the apple behind.

Listening to my mom and grandmother (Mama J) talk about gossip from back home.

Running into people that we knew from home.

Riding the skylift and getting our picture made at the top.

Going to Rebel Corner and not understanding why my dad and Daddy J were laughing at what the t-shirts said.

Eating a the Peddlar and getting sliced Vienna sausages from the salad bar.

Watching a national park movie on the first IMAX theater I ever saw.

Going to the Sugarlands visitors center and studying the big map of the park.

Figuring out if people actually lived in Gatlinburg or not.

Hoping to see a bear.

Falling asleep on the way home.

For those of you who have never been to Gatlinburg, you should experience it at least once. Just know that it is not as good as it used to be. The historian side of me knows there was never a “good old days”, but the person part of me knows there was. I saw Gatlinburg in the “good old days”.

Things on the Dresser

13 Mar

I have this weird notion that we can tell a lot about a person by the things they have lying around. That’s the reason I created a post about the things in my office. Well, that’s not the only reason. I was sitting in my office trying to come up with a mind-blowing topic to write about. At a loss, I just went ahead wrote about what I was looking at. It was also a good way to work on my description skills. Maybe I could create a mental picture with my words like most professional writers do. I am not sure if it work, but I am going to try it again.

I have meant to clean the clutter off of my dresser, and, before I do, I feel the need to record what is there.

Category 1 – Illumination

Like a lot of dressers, mine has two lamps sitting on it. You know the kind. They are skinny and have a small shade on top. They don’t put out much light, and the bulbs tend to blow out a different times. Usually, one works when the other one doesn’t.

I also have a couple of small candles. I am not a big candle fan, but they come in handy if I want to create a romantic mood – like when I am watching Cinemax After Dark.

Category 2 – Pictures

Most people would say this, but these are the most important items on the dresser. One is of me and my nephews piled up on a couch. It was made a few years ago when we took a luxury bus to the NASCAR race at Talladega. I’m not a huge racing fan, but I went because of them. It’s one of my favorite pictures.

Another picture was made when my dad was inducted into the Tennessee Softball Hall of Fame. We are standing there with some of his old players and friends. Everyone is laughing, and I know that he was very happy and proud that night.

The third picture was taken many years ago and included most of my extended family. We were on the deck of my grandparent’s lake house. We had one of those timer cameras, and people are kind of looking different directions. Three people in the picture have passed away – my grandfather, my grandmother and my uncle. One of my nephews is cradled in my dad’s arms. The other one wasn’t even born yet.

Category 3 – Art

That is a term that I use loosely because one was created by yours truly. I had a girlfriend that liked to go to one of those ceramic places where you can drink and paint. This is a two-sided thing with a green, black and blue sun on one side. The other side has an orange moon with red stars. Apparently, I was going through my color experimentation stage.

The other is a piece of pottery I bought in New Mexico. An old Indian woman claimed to make it, but I think some old Chinese woman actually did. It is a cattle skull with cool designs painted on it.

Category 4 – Cards

These are not Hallmark cards. No, these are truly close to my heart. A blackjack strategy card; 3 MGM Players Club cards; a Resorts Casino card; a Hollywood Casino card; a Harrah’s Casino card; and a deck of playing cards with the theme, “Hooker’s Live Bait – There’s Something Fishy Going On Around Here”.

Before you start thinking that I am a total gambling addict, I also have an Elvis Membership card to get discounts at Graceland. Oh, there is also a business card from the men’s shoe department at Nordstrom’s. I would say that I don’t shop there much, but there is a stack of receipts under all of the gambling cards.

Category 5 – Notes

Before I get to the clutter (you thought the other stuff was clutter?), I was surprised to find a couple of notes during the examination. One was written by an ex-girlfriend (not the one who liked to paint) as a thank you note for taking her on a trip.

The other came from my therapist with the instructions that I tape it to the mirror and recite it every morning. It reads, “Stand in your own space and know you are there.” I’m going to tape it up right now.

Ok, I’m back

Category 6 – Other Crap on My Dresser

There is a small stone club with a clip sticking out of it. I think it is to hold letters, but I have a devious mind with it comes to the use of clips. Maybe I can put the therapy note in there.

It sits on top of a flat piece of quartz, or something that looks like that.

I also have an unused Fossil wallet that was once a Christmas gift. I have gotten two other wallets since then.

There is a pair of black running shorts. Obviously, I meant to run. All kinds of people run around here, but I can never figure out what they are running from.

Two pairs of glasses, one sun and one regular, sit in front of their cases.

Oh, there are also three watches. One is broken. Another is a sample that my watch salesman friend had in his truck. The other one is a Rolex that my parents presented to me when I got a Masters. It’s pretty, expensive and pretty expensive, but it doesn’t keep good time.

Somewhere on there is a small remote that operates my iPod when it is hooked into the speakers and some buttons piled on top of it.

I collect pins, so there is one from the NASCAR Hall of Fame in Charlotte, North Carolina. For someone who isn’t a big race fan, I just mentioned it twice in this post. I can feel my neck turning red.

There are some scissors and a jar filled with coins.

Next to those is a ticket to see Footloose. I never saw the first one and didn’t want to see this one, but my girlfriend wanted to take her daughter. It wasn’t all that bad, and I got to look at Julianne Hough. Yowser!

However, the prize of this category is my stuffed Jackalope. What? You don’t know what a Jackalope is? Well, it is a rabbit with antlers, and they are all over New Mexico. Google it and see what you come up with.

Category 7 – Coin Dish

Last category, I promise. My coin dish contains everything but coins. Actually, there are a couple of Kennedy Half Dollars. I got them at a casino.

Other than that, there is a souvenir golf ball from The Masters. It’s the only sporting event that remains on my “wish to go” list.

There is also a chess piece that was supposed to be a therapy reminder device and a blue rock with “courage” printed on it.

There are ear plugs and a couple of guitar pics that I picked up at a Metallica concert. Those and the plugs seem to go together.

I also have a Godiva Chocolate card and a gold chain from the glory days of the 1980s.

Oh, there is also the Brothel Inspector badge that some students bought for me in Madrid, New Mexico.

However, there are four items that are very special. Two belonged to my grandfather – his pocket knife and a University of Tennessee tie pin.

The other two are championship rings. In 2010, my university won the baseball national championship, and I got a ring for serving as Faculty Athletic Representative. The second ring represents the ten state championships that my dad’s softball teams won over the years. That’s why he was inducted into the Hall of Fame.

And that, as they say, is that. Can you tell anything about me from the items gathered on my dresser? Or, did you make it this far?

The Name of the Game

6 Mar

My parents watch The Wheel of Fortune every night, and I will tune in with them on occasion. Tonight was one of those nights, as we spent some quality family time with Pat, Vanna and the Big Wheel. I have always been a big fan of game shows, and Wheel is one of my favorites. I was even lucky enough once to spin the wheel and have my picture made with Pat and Vanna (although it was better with Chuck Woolery). I usually try to guess the puzzles as fast as possible, but this time I began thinking about a potential blog post (What does that say about me?)

What are my all-time favorite game shows? There are a bunch to choose from, but I have narrowed it down to five.

At the top of the list stands Press Your Luck.

Man, I loved this show. Airing in the mid-80s, it was hosted by Peter Tomarken and announced by Rod Roddy, who apparently did every game show. There were three contestants who answered two rounds of questions. Correct answers would give each person a number of spins. The questions were usually easy, but that wasn’t the point of the game. Everything hinged on the Big Board, which had prize squares mixed in with Whammies, cartoon creatures that would take all of your money. I was fascinated by two things.

One, the platform for the contestants moved when it was time to face the board.

Second, I just knew there had to be a pattern to movements of the squares. It turns out that I wasn’t the only one who thought that. Michael Larson, pictured above, reached game show infamy when he figured out the pattern and constantly hit the prize squares. He spun 45 times without hitting a Whammy and won a record $110,000. His turn lasted so long that they made two episodes out of it.

Always remember, “BIG BUCKS! BIG BUCKS! NO WHAMMIES!”

The Match Game is next on the list.

There are several versions of this one, but the best came in the 70s and was hosted by Gene Rayburn, who would read a line with a blank. Six “celebrities” wrote down the word they thought fit best in the blank, and the contestants would try to match them. However, the game was secondary to the entertainment. The “celebrities” would make jokes and the lines were designed for double entendre answers. My favorite ones were about Dumb Donald.

Many guest “celebrities” played the games, but some seemed to always be there. Brett Somers. Charles Nelson Reilly. Nipsy Russell. Richard Dawson. Fannie Flagg. Jaye P. Morgan.

Never forget, when someone says, “Dumb Donald was so dumb…” the correct response is “How dumb was he?”

Ranking third is Tic Tac Dough.

Wink Martindale, a native of Jackson, Tennessee, hosted my favorite version of this show in the 70s and 80s. The game was played like tic-tac-toe with questions. Each square had a category that affected the strategy. Contestants not only picked the appropriate square to win but also the category they knew best. Between each question the categories were mixed along with squares with special rules. When a contestant won a game, they went to the bonus round where they tried to win money and avoid the dragon.

Looking back, the questions were simple, and there were a lot of tie games. When this happened, the same two people kept playing until someone won. Each time, the money built up, and the stakes got higher.

Blockbusters comes in next.

Bill Cullen, the greatest game show host ever, reigned over the best incarnation of this game. Different from other shows, this one pitted a team of two people against an individual. They would try to make their way through letter-filled hexagons to make a line across the board. The answer to each space started with the letter involved. The bonus round involved getting across the board in a minute.

The questions were easy, but Cullen was the highlight of the show. He was a host and a guest on numerous shows despite the damaging effects of polio and the need for thick glasses. He was the perfect example of someone who could triumph over obstacles placed in front of him.

Card Sharks is last on the list.

Hosted best by Jim Perry, the game saw two contestants compete in a super-sized game of War. A question based on “100 People Surveyed” would be asked, and a player guessed the number who answered it. Their opponent would then guess higher or lower. The winner would then try to predict a series of giant cards by saying “higher” or “lower”. If they missed, then the other player took a turn.

I liked this show because of the giant cards and the models that placed them in position. Surprisingly, this is the only show on the list with models. I have shocked myself. It seems that the kid version of me was more interested in trying to win the games from home than checking out the women presenting the prizes.

With a list like this, it is obvious that I spent a lot of time watching television – game shows in particular. In a future post I will list the five game shows that I hated.

Movies that Time Forgot

3 Feb

Classic movies of the past are remembered and often honored. They continue to live on movie channels and Blu-Ray discs and are watched and analyzed by cinema scholars and ordinary fans. But, what about the movies that did not become classics – the ones that had a short run on the silver screen and a bit longer run on late night cable. These are not analyzed or held up as artistic achievements. They are the movies that time forgot. They exist only as memory fragments of those who saw them. Today, a stream of consciousness led me to such a movie.

This was test day in my classes, and I promise that teachers love test days. While the students are searching their brains for answers they hope will come, teachers can sit back and relax. For me, this means a day of surfing the internet. An activity such as this can get tedious after a while and can lead to some strange places. A stop by the Entertainment Weekly website led me on a journey that I never expected.

As I scanned the site for news about The Hunger Games movie, I noticed a snippet about Sherilyn Fenn, an 80s vixen that I was totally infatuated with, and her upcoming role on a television show that I never heard of. Wondering what she looks like these days, I googled her images and found that she has aged well. Then, I went to the Internet Movie Database to recount her career. There was Boxing Helena, a controversial movie if I remember correctly, and Two Moon Junction, an erotic thriller designed to show off Fenn’s assets. Interestingly, it was also the last film for Burl Ives and Herve “Da Plane, Da Plane” Villechaize. But, I didn’t stay with Two Moon Junction for long because I suddenly remembered my favorite Sherilyn Fenn movie, The Wraith.

Charlie Sheen used to be cool. Here's the proof.

In The Wraith, Charlie Sheen, Fenn’s boyfriend, was killed by a drag-racing gang. Apparently, he took tiger blood before his death because Sheen comes back as the Wraith, a drag-racing, ass-kicking ghost – perhaps the coolest ghost ever. He had a fast car and an awesome racing helmet. He kills the gang leader, Nick Cassavetes, in the end, and Sherilyn finally figures out who he really is. Then, Sheen drives off into the sunset. Too bad for him that his career has not had the same cool fade out. As I read about The Wraith, I began thinking about other car chase movies and remembered The Last Chase.

The Six Million Dollar Man meets Speed Racer

I watched The Last Chase almost every time it was on cable. This movie starred Lee Majors as an old race car driver living in a future USA that has faced some real issues. A plague had killed millions, and OPEC had cut off our oil supply. A totalitarian government ruled over a populace that traveled by bicycles and electric golf carts. Apparently, golfing was still a popular pastime. Majors, the government spokesman proclaiming the evils of cars, tired of this way of life a rebuilt a race car that he had hidden under the house. After picking up a stowaway in the form of Chris Makepeace, Majors heads on a cross-country trip to “free California”, which has broken away and started using gas-guzzling cars. This has always seemed ironic to me. A state full of environmentalists who do not want us to pump our own fuel ends up being the one that brings the fuel back. At any rate, the government unleashes Burgess Meredith, an old Vietnam War pilot, to chase the car in an antique fighter jet. How can a movie be better than that?

For some reason, this movie has always stuck with me, and certain spots stood out.

1. Chris Makepeace learned how to drive in a race  car. How cool is that?

2. Authorities used an old Coca-Cola delivery truck to block the roads. I wonder if it still had fizz.

3. Native Americans took back control of their land once the USA retreated to the cities. This was always my favorite part. With a lot of patience, they won in the end.

Anyway, I have always wanted to see this movie again, so I headed over to Amazon to see if it was available. Lo and behold, it has been released on DVD, and I bought it immediately. I suppose it wasn’t Blu-Ray worthy. So, my trip through the movies that time forgot led me to The Last Chase, which I eventually caught. I wonder if it will be as good as I remember.

Love, Peace and Soul

2 Feb

This morning the internet was covered with reports of the death of Don Cornelius, creator/host/conductor of “Soul Train”. Because this is the first day of Black History Month, I decided to begin my history classes with the news and a short talk on his influence on music and culture. Some of the students had heard of “Soul Train”, but they really didn’t know anything about it. I hope they do now.

During my younger years, I watched “Soul Train” every chance I could, and I am sure that I was not the only white kid to do that. I think the first attraction was the opening. The animated train chugged across the screen in bright colors while the high-pitched Sooouuulll Traaaiiinn came out of the speakers.

However, once the show started the real action hit the screen. Don Cornelius introduced the performers with a rich, deep voice. Dancers wore funky clothes and made funky moves on the dance floor and down the “Soul Train Line”. I was mesmerized by the people, the music, and the action. Being a red-blooded American male, I paid special attention to the female dancers. I never tried any of the moves because I didn’t want to bust my butt, but I wished I could wear the clothes and be absorbed by the music. I didn’t really understand the impact that “Soul Train” had on society. I only knew that it was having an impact on me and what I thought was cool entertainment.

As a historian, I have a deeper understanding of the times I grew up in and Don Cornelius’ role during that time. He brought the soul genre to a wider audience and introduced many Americans to a vibrant African-American culture. He provided a stage for young African-Americans to express their talents and beauty. There was more to people than what white America portrayed and/or believed. Some say that “Soul Train” was simply a black version of “American Bandstand”. True, there were similarities in show design and cultural impact. But, in my opinion, “Soul Train” was a lot more fun.

In coming days, there will be many tributes to Don Cornelius, and this post will pale in comparison. There are several playlists on my iPod with titles that only I understand. When I put together a soul playlist, there was only one thing to call it – “Soul Train”. As a small tribute, these are a few of the artists and songs included on that list. If I could organize an intergalactic concert in Cornelius’ honor, then this is the lineup of performers that I would choose.

The Love Unlimited Orchestra – “Love’s Theme”

The Temptations – “Papa Was a Rollin’ Stone”

Curtis Mayfield – “Freddie’s Dead”

Marvin Gaye – “Let’s Get it On”

Barry White – “I’ve Got So Much to Give”

Edwin Starr – “War”

The Five Stairsteps – “O-O-H Child”

Stevie Wonder – “Superstition”

Billy Paul – “Me and Mrs. Jones”

Kool and the Gang – “Summer Madness”

Isaac Hayes – “Soulsville”

Roberta Flack – “The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face”

James Brown – “Down and Out in New York City”

The Isley Brothers – “That Lady”

The Commodores – “Brick House”

Bobby Womack – “Across 110th Street”

Sly and the Family Stone – “Everyday People”

Hues Corporation – “I’m Gonna Catch You”

Aretha Franklin – “Chain of Fools”

Chic – “Good Times”

The Staple Singers – “I’ll Take You There”

War – “All Day Music”

Bill Withers – “Ain’t No Sunshine”

The Brothers Johnson – “Strawberry Letter 23”

Gladys Knight and the Pips – “Midnight Train to Georgia”

Jackson 5 – “I Want You Back”

Lakeside – “Fantastic Voyage”

G.C. Cameron – “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday”

Of course, Don Cornelius would come out at the end and sign off with his signature line, “I’m Don Cornelius, and as always in parting, we wish you love, peace and soul.”

The Smell of Cape Jasmine

23 Jan

As a historian, I have never been interested in studying the past of my region, the South. I have heard about the Civil War and other aspects of its history all of my life and never really wanted to go behind the scenes of the stories and anecdotes of my childhood. However, this does not mean that I have turned my back on the South. As written in other posts, I have traveled throughout the United States, but I have never considered living anywhere but here. It is my home and everything that is associated with that word. Family. Friends. Familiarity. The “Three F’s” I suppose. I study the West, but I am a child of the South. But, like many others, I am not sure what it means to be a southerner.

Does it mean that I should be ashamed of a heritage of slavery and rebellion? Or, does it mean that I should be proud of a heritage of southern Founding Fathers like Washington and Jefferson? Does it mean that I should be proud of being raised in the Bible Belt? Or, does it mean I should be ashamed to be a native of a region that still argues over teaching the theory of evolution? Before answering those questions, I should explain what being a southerner is all about (at least for me).

It is eating black eyes peas and hog jaw on New Year’s Day for good luck.

It is going to college football games on Saturday’s in the fall.

It is visiting family on Sunday afternoon.

It is watching “Smokey and the Bandit” and realizing that you know a sheriff just like that.

It is going for a ride on a country road.

It is pulling over to pay respects to a passing funeral procession.

It is saying hello to a stranger that you pass on a sidewalk.

It is having a meal of fried chicken and turnip greens.

It is going to the National Walking Horse Celebration and wondering why the federal government won’t leave them alone.

It is being baptized when you are eleven years old because that’s what you are supposed to do.

It is wishing that people in other parts of the country would understand that you are not stupid because you talk differently.

It is thinking that people in New England talk funny.

It is being proud that Blues, Country, Rock ‘n Roll, Southern Rock, Bluegrass, Gospel and just about every other genre of music came from the South.

It is knowing that not all southerners would make this same list because we all don’t fit into the southern stereotype.

Notice that the list does not include driving a pickup truck; hunting or fishing; flying a rebel flag; drinking beer in a field; being a racist; having no teeth or shoes; or handling snakes in church. Of course, there are people who fit those descriptions. Just like there are people all over the country that fit those descriptions (except for maybe the snake handling). I am proud to be from the South and accept its good and bad qualities, but I have never known how to explain that pride. Maybe this post has done it. If not, then I will finish by writing about a song that I have always liked. It is country (which is strange for me), but I feel a connection to it. I will try to explain why.

“Good Ole Boys Like Me” by Don Williams

When I was a kid, Uncle Remus he put me to bed

With a picture of Stonewall Jackson above my head.

Then daddy came in to kiss his little man

With gin on his breath and a Bible in his hand.

He talked about honor and things I should know.

Then, he’d stagger a little as he went out the door.

(Uncle Remus is a collection of stories that were passed down from the days of slavery. They are mostly fables and tales that teach lessons. However, they are racist in the way they present Uncle Remus, a docile African-American man. Disney made a movie based on the stories which has faced a racist backlash as time has passed. I never heard these stories when I was a kid, but I was told plenty of stories along the same lines, namely the story of Little Black Sambo. Despite this experience, I did not grow up to be a racist or a member of the Klan.)

(Stonewall Jackson was a Civil War hero for the confederacy. While most southerners did not have pictures of Civil War officers hanging in their houses, this line aims at the importance many southerners still place on that terrible time in our history. Southerners have tended to forget what the war was about and focus on the fact that the South lost. For generations, this created a sense of inferiority. Of course, the economic conditions didn’t help. I once read an article with the theory that the debacle of the Vietnam War did not affect the South as it did other parts of the nation because the South already knew how it felt not to win.)

(My dad does not drink, but he is very religious. He has been a deacon in the church and complains about why I don’t go. However, this line hits home because I still call him “daddy”. I saw George Carlin (my favorite comedian of all time) in concert, and he made fun of grown southern men using this word. It may be dumb, but we still do it. It is not a childish act but an act of respect. The gin and Bible part is very southern because both play an important role in southern society. Honor is also an important part of southern ideology and society. Heck, that was one of the arguments for the Civil War – the north was challenging southern honor. There is a reason that dueling was legal in the South longer that it was anywhere else. And, it is still important in the South. It isn’t polite to air your dirty laundry in public.)

I can still hear the soft southern winds in the live oak trees.

And those Williams boys, they still mean a lot to me –

Hank and Tennessee.

I guess we’re all gonna be what we’re gonna be.

So, what do you do with good ole boys like me?

(Live oak does not mean that the tree is not dead. This is an iconic tree throughout the South and is the state tree of Georgia. Any picture of an old plantation has live oak’s in it. There is a reason that Twelve Oaks is one of the plantations in “Gone With the Wind”. While this may be a natural symbol of the region, it actually has a varied geography – mountains, river bottoms, swamps, hills.)

(The Williams boys shows the variety that the South has offered to American culture. Hank Williams was a legend in the world of country music and a songwriting genius. Tragically, he drank to excess and died in his 20s, but his music continues to inspire musicians and singers. One of the great writers of the 20th Century, Tennessee Williams provided us with plays and literary works that delve into the psyche and soul. “The Glass Menagerie”. “A Streetcar Named Desire”. “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”. The list goes on and on. The South may have produced rednecks, but it also produced artistic geniuses. These are but two.)

And nothing makes a sound in the night like the wind does.

But you ain’t afraid if you’re washed in the blood like I was.

The smell of cape jasmine through the window screen.

John R. and the Wolfman kept me company

By the light of the radio by my bed

With Thomas Wolfe whispering in my head.

(The wind is blowing now, and it is one of my favorite sounds. However, that is not a southern thing. Being washed in the blood is. Baptism is a rite of passage in this part of the world. It is something that everyone I know was expected to go through. Each denomination has a different way of doing things, but most have similarities. At the end of the church service, the preacher asks for those who want to accept Christ to come to the front. If you feel the spirit, then you go to the front. Once the singing stops, the preachers announces to the congregation that you have made a decision to join the church and asks them to affirm it. At some point, you are baptized. In my church, this meant a full immersion under water. There you go – afterlife insurance. I joined at 11. My dad joined at 5. Neither one of us knew what we were doing, but we were saved nonetheless.)

(Cape Jasmine is a white flower known for its fragrance. It is called Cape because people thought it came from the Cape of Good Hope. It actually originated in Asia. There are all sorts of flowers and plants throughout the South due to the warm climate. Some, such as the Cape Jasmine, have brought beauty and an air of social standing. Lots of flower clubs exist around here for the uppity women of the South. This is probably left over from the days of plantations that fancied themselves as cousins of British aristocracy. Other plants, like cotton and tobacco have brought fortune but also infamy.)

(John R. and the Wolfman are my favorite names in this song. John R. was a Nashville legend as lead disc jockey on WLAC-AM, a clear channel station that reached 28 states. He played rhythm and blues and introduced southern African-American performers to listeners throughout his range. John R. became so popular with African-American audiences that they thought he was African-American as well. Wolfman Jack was a more famous disc jockey and gained this fame on the most powerful signal in North America, XERF-AM out of Ciudad Acuna, Mexico.)

(Thomas Wolfe, from Asheville, North Carolina, was a great southern novelist. I believe he is referenced in this song for his 1940 work, “You Can’t Go Home Again”. Once you have grown and left your surroundings, you can never go by to that “idyllic” lifestyle again. I put idyllic in quotations because once we look back we realize that it was never as good as we imagined. People often talk of the good old days, but they were never that good. Southerners, especially of the white variety, may think times were simpler then, but were they really? Segregation. No air conditioning. Many without electricity. Few well-paying jobs to be found. A great distance between the wealthy and the non-wealthy, both white and black. We can go home again physically, but we can never return intellectually and emotionally.)

When I was a kid I ran with a kid down the street,

And I watched him burn himself up on bourbon and speed.

But, I was smarter than most, and I could choose.

Learned to talk like the man on the six o’clock news.

When I was eighteen lord, I hit the road,

But it really doesn’t matter how far I go.

(Much of this song is more appropriate for the experiences of generations before mine. However, this part remains true to today. Several of the people I grew up with and played with as a child have become town drunks that waste their time in the bars a beer joints around town. I realize this happens all over the world, but I know that they never had aspirations of becoming the “town drunk”. Unlike the song, I didn’t leave. I found opportunity in the area and went with it. That makes me lucky. But, it makes me sad to see people with the same opportunity go down another path.)

So, what was this post? I am not sure myself. It is a defense of a region and a critique of the same region. Maybe it’s like family. I can talk about them all day long, but I’ll defend them if someone else says the same. That’s what being from the South is like. We can talk about each other and realize that we have issues. But, other people had better not join the discussion. Now that I think about it, that’s probably what the people who seceded from the country thought too.

The post is also an excuse to analyze one of my favorite songs (even though it’s country). So, if you made it this far I hope that you learned something. I learned that some questions don’t have answers. So, what do you do with good ole boys like me?

“If You Could Read My Mind” There’s No Telling What You Would Find

24 Dec

The other day I caught the ending of “Wonderland”, a movie starring Val Kilmer. It chronicles the life of John Holmes, porn legend, and his possible role in a murder/robbery. The ending is the best part of the movie. Holmes and his girlfriend are parked in the desert discussing the future. He then takes off while the movie tells us what the future held for them and others portrayed in the film. All of that is great, but the best part is that Gordon Lightfoot’s “If You Could Read My Mind” was playing over the scene. This was one of my favorite songs as a kid and like it to this day. I even saw Lightfoot in concert just to hear this one song live.

When I was young, my favorite songs were ones I could visualize. I could see the guy trying to frantically check out of the “Hotel California”. I could also see the car going down Interstate 40 in “By the Time I Get to Phoenix”. However, nothing hit my imagination like “If You Could Read My Mind”. I know that I took things too literally and missed the deeper meanings of the lyrics, but I still can’t listen to these songs without watching the childhood created movie in my head.

Obviously. Lightfoot’s song is about a love that has run its course.

I don’t know where we went wrong

But the feelins’ gone

And I just can’t get it back.

See. he spells it out plainly. But, my child’s imagination focused on other lines.

If I could read your mind love

What a tale your thoughts could tell.

Just like the paperback novel.

The kind that drugstores sell.

I could actually see a woman buying a paperback in a drugstore. Then, there was the part about the movie.

I’d walk away like a movie star

Who gets burned in a three-way script.

Enter number two.

A movie queen to play the scene

Of bringing all the good things out in me.

Again, I could see a movie set where actors are playing the roles that Lightfoot is describing. However. the best part was in the beginning of the song.

Just like an old-time movie

‘Bout a ghost in a wishin’ well.

In a castle dark or a fortress strong

With chains upon my feet,

You know that ghost is me.

And I will never be set free

As long as I’m a ghost you can’t see.

This part was easy to imagine because I had seen exactly what he was describing. I loved watching Abbott and Costello movies, and all of them were basically the same. Abbott played the straight man to Costello’s bumbling character. But, one movie was different. In 1946, they made “The Time of Their Lives”, about star-crossed lovers killed during the American Revolution. Their ghosts are trapped on an estate, specifically to a well, until they can prove their innocence. Each time I heard “If You Could Read My Mind” I thought about Abbott and Costello and the ghost movie that they made.

I have often wondered if this was something I conjured up, or did Gordon Lightfoot use the movie as his inspiration? How weird would it be if a 1940s Abbott and Costello movie led to a hit song about dying love in the 1970s? I have no idea if Lightfoot ever saw the movie, but I like to think that I figured out his secret and was able to read his mind, to paraphrase from the song. If not then I know that this song and others did what good songs are meant to do. They allowed me to enter my imagination and take what I wanted from them. From “If You Could Read My Mind” I took Abbott and Costello; combined them with a woman buying a paperback from a drugstore; and put them all on a movie set to my own made up studio where I was the star.

Childhood Memories – Road Trips

14 Dec

I am amazed at what my friends call a vacation. They talk about going to the beach; staying in a condo; eating seafood; and, generally, lying around for several days. They talk about how great it is to relax in the sun and read books. I know that many people think this is the perfect idea of fun and frivolity. I think it is hell on earth. It’s hot. It’s sweaty. Sand gets everywhere. Seafood is not meant to be eaten for a solid week. But most of all, sitting around all of that time is mind-destroying. I need to see something besides the same waves coming in from the same horizon before eating the same crab legs while wearing the same lobster bib. And I know whose fault it is that I think this way…

My dad dreamed of being a truck driver when he was a kid. He did not reach his dream but did become successful in the business world. With his dream of being a trucker dashed, my dad made sure that he ventured on that endless black ribbon by taking his family on road trips every summer. Other families went to the beach. We picked a cardinal direction, usually west, and headed out for a couple of weeks of constant changes in hotels and landscapes. My dad’s motto was “never burn daylight”, so we went from daylight to dark touring the country and checking out the scene. My mom even packed a cooler with sandwich stuff and drinks, so we could eat on the move. We were the real Griswold’s, and nothing from a movie can come close to what we experienced.

Because of my dad, I had visited all 50 states by the time I was 24. I developed a love for history from visiting the places where history happened. Some of my greatest memories are from the road, but it wasn’t all pleasant. Spending that much time in a cramped vehicle led to funny events that weren’t very funny at the time.

1. The Great Winnebago Trip – One year my dad got the bright idea to rent a motor home to drive cross-country. It started out good enough with my dad driving while the rest of us whooped it up in back. However, problems soon arose. The Winnebago broke down. And it broke down again. And it broke down again. In fact, it broke down all the way to California and back. It ended up with three fuel pumps that my brother had to hose down every time we stopped. The trip is legendary in these circles and can’t be accurately depicted here, but a few things stand out.

On a Saturday night, we broke down in Amarillo while heading west. The next Saturday night we broke down in Amarillo on the way east. The same mechanic worked on it both times. My mom took his picture. In between those two stops, we broke down in the middle of the Los Angeles freeway. We also broke down in a blasting zone. There was also the time we broke down in Needles and watched them fry eggs on the sidewalk. That was the last motor home.

2. The “My Mom Lost Her Mind” Trip – We spent the night west of the Colorado/Kansas border with the plan to drive to St. Louis the next day. Road trips are a loop, and the turn home was always seen as the home stretch. My mom was driving as we neared St. Louis in a rain storm. It was then that we discovered no rooms at the inns. St. Louis, big city that it is, was completely booked. My mom drove on. And drove on. And drove on. We tried to get her to stop, but she held a death grip on the wheel and wouldn’t listen. Her eyes got wide as she focused on the road. Ignoring the pleas of myself and my dad, she drove all the way home. We drove from Colorado to Tennessee in one day.

3. The “Speed of Sound” Trip – In junior high, my teacher asked us to write an essay about our summer. I wrote about our road trip, and she gave me an F for making it up. My mom had to call her and explain that it was all true. Simply, we drove to Virginia and toured the sights around Washington. We saw Mt. Vernon, Monticello, Arlington Cemetery and the Smithsonian. We then drove to Philadelphia and saw the history made there. Next, came New York (which I will discuss in more detail in #4), and a drive up to Niagara Falls. After the falls, we went into Canada and reentered the United States at Detroit. There we toured the Ford Museum. All of that took five days.

4. The “Tour of New York” Trip – Technically, this is the “Speed of Sound” Trip, but it deserves its own number. By this time, I was the official navigator and map-reader, and this was my job as my dad drove through the streets of New York City. He wanted to see Central Park, so I got him there. As we went through the park, I set the map to the side and looked around. When we came out of the park, we began to notice a degradation of our surroundings. Cars were on blocks. Windows were smashed out of buildings. It looked like a war zone. I picked up the map and told my dad not to stop at any cost. Don’t stop at red lights. Don’t stop if someone walks in front of us. My dad was driving his Cadillac down the street that separated Harlem and the Bronx. His orders were to drive to Yankee Stadium as fast as possible and get on the interstate.

5. The “That’s A Big Hole” Trip – Like a lot of people, my dad always wanted to see the Grand Canyon, and he made sure to stop the first chance he got. We parked the car and walked to the edge. As we stood there my dad declared, “That’s an awfully big hole.” We replied that it was. Then, he asked, “Ready to go?” In unison, we said, “Yes.”

Everyone should see the Grand Canyon once. It’s one of those things that makes the American landscape what it is. But, I’m not impressed with it. I think that it may be too big to appreciate, but it is not my favorite natural wonder. My nephew camped in the bottom last year and said it was great. That may be true. Riding the mules or flying over in a helicopter may be great too. However, I would rather see a lot of things than stand at the edge of the Grand Canyon and look into a big hole.

I know. All of this sounds terrible, and you are thinking that we would have been better off at the beach. However, these bad experiences were few and far between and gave us great stories to tell at family gatherings. The road trips were great bonding experiences and gave me the opportunity to see things that many people do not. For that, I am eternally grateful. Therefore, I am going to end this post on a positive note and list my favorite historic sites and natural wonders. I owe my parents for the love I have for these places.

My Favorite Historic Sites

1. The Little Big Horn Battlefield – I have mentioned this several times in other posts and will not go into great detail here. Just know that this is the one place where I can mentally take myself back in time.

2. Alcatraz – The first time I saw it the prison wasn’t open for tours. The second time it was and proved to be an amazing experience. You haven’t done anything until you have stood in Al Capone’s cell.

3. Biltmore Estate – This is the largest privately owned home in the United States. Built by an heir to the Vanderbilt fortune, it is the perfect example of Guilded Age decadence. No castle in Europe has anything on this.

4. The OK Corral – Tombstone, Arizona is the quintessential tourism laden ghost town. It looks kind of hokey today, but it held an important place in Old West history as the location of America’s most famous gunfight. As a bonus, Ben Traywick, who is from my home county, is the unofficial Tombstone historian.

5. Pearl Harbor – Technically, I did not see this on a road trip. Even my dad couldn’t drive to Hawaii. However, this is a historic site that everyone should see. Walking onto the Arizona Memorial is a spiritual experience.

My Favorite Natural Wonders

1. Monument Valley – The banner at the top of this blog is a photo I took at Monument Valley. Those buttes have been shown in countless movies and have long been symbols of the American West. It sits in the Navajo Nation and serves as a reminder of what they lost in the United States’ drive toward Manifest Destiny.

2. Yellowstone National Park – There is so much in the park that it is indescribable. Therefore, I will boil it down to my favorite thing. There is nothing like waking up in the Old Faithful Lodge; walking onto the porch; and, seeing buffalo walk through the steam of the geysers.

3. Sequoia National Park – Imagine trees sold old that they started growing when Jesus supposedly walked the earth and so large that they look as if they had been constructed. That is the best way I can describe this park. I will leave out the time I got lost in it when I was two.

4. Bryce Canyon – This is a canyon filled with rock formations called “hoodoos”. They fill the landscape and make you feel that you have landed in another world.

5. Denali National Park – We did not drive to Alaska, but Mt. McKinley is the most amazing thing I have ever seen. We were lucky enough to view it on a clear day and see the peak. I have no idea how big the mountain is, but I know that it filled the landscape from miles away.

There you have it. My road trip adventures. Isn’t that better than a beach?

Boarding Mr. Peabody’s WABAC Machine

7 Dec

When I was a kid, “The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show” was shown in reruns, and I would often catch an episode or two. It wasn’t my favorite show by any means because Bullwinkle always drove me crazy. I think it was his voice, but it could have been any aspect of his goofy self. However, I was fascinated by Mr. Peabody and his WABAC Machine and the idea of going back to witness historic events. Obviously, I was a weird child to like the time-traveling, talking dog over the goofy, talking moose. Through the years as a historian, I keep going back to Mr. Peabody and thinking how cool it would be to actually be present at historic events. I have even been known to mention the WABAC Machine in class. I know the students have no idea what I am talking about, but they aren’t usually listening anyway.

Of course, time travel, as we know through countless references in popular culture, has it drawbacks. We could alter the course of history and change the world as we know it. That’s why I favor the “duck blind” method from “Star Trek”. Use a force field to hide a viewing station in the natural terrain. If walking about is needed, then use an individualized force field for hiding a protection. See, problem solved. All you have to do is combine the worlds of Mr. Peabody and Mr. Spock, and the problem is solved.

So, if I could board Mr. Peabody’s WABAC Machine to travel to a “duck blind” from “Star Trek”, then these are the historic events I would venture to see.

1. Montana Territory, 1876 – George Custer and the 7th Cavalry find their way to the banks of the Little Big Horn River. There they find Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse and hundreds of Sioux and Cheyenne warriors. The Battle of Little Big Horn does not end well for Custer and his men, but for the Native Americans it is a classic case of winning the battle and losing the war. After the defeat of one of America’s most famous soldiers, the U.S. Army makes it a point to bring an end of the Indian Wars. The battlefield is my favorite historic site, as I can sit on the hill and sense the history around me. It is probably the markers that designate the places where soldiers fell (although inaccurately) that make the battle easy to track over the terrain.

2. Dayton, Tennessee, 1925 – As a publicity stunt, leaders of Dayton arrest John Scopes of breaking a new law disallowing the teaching of evolution in public schools. The stunt gets out of hand when two of the nation’s most famous lawyers. William Jennings Bryan and Clarence Darrow, agree to fight it out in court over the difference between the creation story of the Bible and the theories of Darwin. It must have been a fascinating scene as a circus atmosphere descended upon the town. I love teaching about the Scopes Monkey Trial and have even taken a group of students to the actual courtroom to discuss it. I am amazed that 86 years later we are still fighting over the same issue.

3. The Moon, 1969 – Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin became the first people to walk on a celestial body that was not Earth. This is the greatest achievement in human history. Watching the astronauts leave the capsule and walk around would have been a literal other-worldly experience. Also, viewing this event as it happened would prove to the skeptics that it wasn’t faked. Next semester, one of our history professors is offering a class on conspiracy theories and why people latch on to them. You would be amazed at the amount of students who do not believe that the truth is known.

4. Maryville, Tennessee, 1974 – This event is on a more personal level. My dad used to sponsor a men’s slow pitch softball team, a hobby for which he was inducted in the Tennessee Softball Hall of Fame. His teams won 10 state championships, but the first came in 1974 against the Number 1 ranked team in the nation. Actually, I was there, but I do not remember it. I was 4 years old at the time. The game was close and came down to a diving catch for the last out. I would like to go back for several reasons. First, I would like to watch the game. Second, I would like to see my dad and all of the people who I know as they looked in 1974. Third, I would like to see what I was doing as a 4-year-old.

Those are my WABAC wishes. If I really had a machine, then I would go to those events first. Of course, I would not be able to stop there and would get addicted to the travel. I would also probably start messing up the timeline. Where would you go if you had access to the WABAC Machine?