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Movie Wisdom – Tommy Lee Jones Edition

8 Apr

Tonight, my dad and I watched the first part of Lonesome Dove, and it inspired me to add another chapter to the “Movie Wisdom” series. This collection of posts delves into the career of an actor and lists the quotes from their movies that may offer words to live by. For the rules of this endeavor, check out the Burt Reynolds Edition.

This edition examines the films of Tommy Lee Jones.Lonesome Dove

From Lonesome Dove

A man who wouldn’t cheat for a poke don’t want one bad enough.

From JFK

“Treason doth never prosper,” wrote an English poet, “What’s the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.”

One may smile and smile and be a villain.

Telling the truth can be a scary thing sometimes.

From The Fugitive

Don’t ever argue with the big dog, because the big dog is always right.

From Natural Born Killers

A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers.

The media is like the weather, only it’s man-made weather.

Nobody can stop fate, nobody can.

You can’t hide from your shadow.

You know, the only thing that kills the demon… is love.

From Cobb

Greatness is overrated.

The desire for glory is not a sin.

From Batman Forever

Broken wings mend in time.

I guess we’re all two people.

A man’s got to go his own way.

From Men in Black

There’s only one way off this planet.

It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

From No Country for Old Men

You can’t help but compare yourself against the old timers.

This country’s hard on people, you can’t stop what’s coming, it ain’t all waiting on you. That’s vanity.

But I think once you quit hearing “sir” and “ma’am,” the rest is soon to foller.

Well all the time ya spend trying to get back what’s been took from ya, more is going out the door. After a while you just have to try to get a tourniquet on it.

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Into the Sunset

1 Apr

It’s a cliché of the western movie genre. The hero has lived through some adventure, and, when it’s over, he gets on his horse and rides into the sunset. I have watched that scene dozens of times, and it fascinates me every time.

What happens when they disappear over the horizon? What happens after the “The End” placard covers the screen? Does the hero take time off before finding another adventure? Does he die of wounds suffered during the movie? Does he live happily ever after in some frontier town?

All of those questions go through my mind because I have to know the rest of the story. It doesn’t matter how bad the movie is. I still want to know what happens after the credits roll. However, something else goes through my mind, as well. The “into the sunset” scene isn’t always the same.

One of the greatest “into the sunset” scenes doesn’t even have a horse. In The Searchers, Ethan Edwards spends years attempting to rescue his niece from her Comanche captors. When he returns with her, everyone goes into the house except for him. He turns and walks into the desert as the door closes behind him.The Searchers

Where did Edwards go? Did he leave because most of his family was dead? Did he wander because there was no purpose in his life? All of the wars were over. Or, did he think back over the past years before turning around and coming back?

John Wayne walked away in The Searchers, but Clint Eastwood could be the king of “into the sunset” rides. In The Outlaw Josey Wales, he is bleeding as he rides away. Does he live? If so, then does he go back to the friends that he has gained throughout the movie? Or, does he disappear from history?

Sometimes, he completely disappears because we really don’t know what he is. In Pale Rider, Eastwood evaporates from the scene. Is he some kind of spirit or is he just a mysterious gunman?

Those were great, but my favorite Eastwood ending comes from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Blondie leaves Tuco with a noose around his neck and gold at his feet. After an impossible rifle shot to save Tuco, Blondie rides away to one of the greatest movie scores of all time.

A more recent western has an “into the sunset” scene at the end. The difference is the adventure that precedes it. In Cowboys and Aliens, James Bond defeats aliens with the help of Indiana Jones. Oh, Boyd Crowder helps out, too. This time the hero is truly a loner. His wife is dead. His alien love interest is dead. He is considered dead. Heck, the dog doesn’t even go with him. In this one, the hero probably went somewhere and cried.

The cool thing about “into the sunset” scenes is that they are no longer reserved for westerns only. Remember what happened at the end of The Dark Knight? He agrees to be the fall guy and live life as a villain. Then, he hops on his jacked out motorcycle and rides into a tunnel. There is no sunset, but there is a cool speech and some kind of light up ahead. I hope it’s not a train.The Dark Knight

Everybody knows what happened to him after that because we have sequels now. There should not have been a sequel to this one. Wondering what happened to Batman was a lot better than knowing that he faked his death and ended up with Catwoman.

Ok, so John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, James Bond and Batman all have had great scenes to end movies. However my favorite “into the sunset” scene comes from a movie that isn’t very good. At the end of Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, Don Johnson, as Marlboro, goes back to his roots and enters a rodeo. At the same time, Mickey Rourke, as Harley, rides his motorcycle into the sunset with an 80s vixen on the back and Black Eyed Susan playing in the background.Harley Ending

Why is that my favorite? Because it’s the only one that seems like a happy ending. He’s not alone. He’s not wounded. And, there is no doubt that something good is going to happen further down the road.

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The Award for Missed Opportunities Goes To…

2 Mar

It’s been almost a week, and the wave of online Oscar recaps has subsided. Now, it seems like a good time to throw in my opinion. But first, a disclaimer. This is the first time that I have ever watched an entire Academy Awards broadcast. Usually, I try to catch the “In Memorium” part, but that is about it.

I watched the entire thing for a couple of reasons. I saw most of the Best Picture nominees, and, most importantly, my girlfriend wanted to watch it. The show was pretty good, but I couldn’t help but think about the missed opportunities. Look, I know the shoe goes on too long as it is, and they can’t do everything. However, if I was running things the following would have definitely happened.

The first thing that would have happened? Andy Griffith and Sylvia Kristel would have been included in the “In Memorium” montage.

I have written several times about my obsession with all things about The Andy Griffith Show and realize that most people associate him with television. However, Griffith had one of the most powerful big screen debuts of all time. In 1957, Elia Kazan directed him in A Face in the Crowd, a prophetic tale about the power of television. Griffith plays Lonesome Rhodes, a hobo turned television star turned megalomaniac. It’s amazing to see a down home character with an evil streak.Lonesome Rhodes

Sylvia Kristel gained fame in erotic movies such as Emmanuelle and Lady Chatterley’s Lover but came to the attention of adolescent American males in Private Lessons. In short, she was every teenage boy’s dream. At least, she was the dream of the ones who came of age while watching Cinemax.Sylvia Kristel

The second thing that would have happened? The James Bond tribute would have been a lot better. Here is a franchise that has lasted through 50 years and transformed a character from a chauvinist Cold Warrior to a modern action hero. It deserved more than a few film clips.

They had one Bond Girl, Halle Berry. They should have had a bunch of Bond Girls.

They had the greatest Bond singer of all time, Shirley Bassey. However, they also had the current Bond singer, Adele. They could have had them perform together. Goldfinger meets Skyfall.

All of that would have been great. However, none of it could compare to what they really should have done for the James Bond 50th Anniversary tribute. The star-studded crowd would have gone wild if the actors who have officially played James Bond had walked out together. Think about it. Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig. That would even impress Ernst Blofeld.Ernst Blofeld

Hey, here’s some trivia. George Lazenby appeared with Sylvia Kristel in a few Emmanuelle movies. Now, that’s going from one great franchise to another.

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Movie Wisdom – Jodie Foster Edition

15 Jan

In honor of last night’s wackiness at the Golden Globes, here are some words to live by from the movies of Jodie Foster.Jodie Foster

From Tom Sawyer

Heck, girls aint no fun. Always gigglin’ or weepin’.

If’n I was God/ well just for spite/ I wouldn’t set the sun at night/ till everyone was treated right/ by everyone else they see.

From Taxi Driver

You’re only as healthy as you feel.

No longer will the wrong roads be taken.

From Candleshoe

There is treasure among books.

The paths of glory lead but to the grave.

Don’t lose your garlic.

From Silence of the Lambs

All good things to those who wait.

From Sommersby

Use the fertilizer in the fields.

From Maverick

There is no more deeply satisfying religious experience… than cheatin’ on a cheater.

From Contact

The world is what we make of it.

From Panic Room

Just stay calm.

From Inside Man

There’s a vast difference between being stuck in a tiny cell and being in prison.

Fact is, all lies, all evil deeds, they stink. You can cover them up for a while, but they don’t go away.

The further you run from your sins, the more exhausted you are when they catch up with you.

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A Plumber, a Presentation and Willie Nelson’s Book

11 Jan

I was going to write a post about the movies I saw this weekend. Three in three days. However, I don’t feel like putting a lot of thought into a cinematic analysis. Instead, this post is about today’s activities.

It started with the usual waking up process. It takes a while for me to get out of bed, but, when I do, I hit the floor running. There is no drinking of coffee or watching of the Today Show.

It's always weird to hear an announcer say, "Tomorrow on Today!"

It’s always weird to hear an announcer say, “Tomorrow on Today!”

It goes from bathroom activities to getting dressed to hitting the door. Getting up to flake around the house is not for me. It wastes good sleeping time.

I made it to campus in time for today’s in-service session. Several of the teachers who received summer grants talked about how they used to money. We learned about Chemistry, Biology, History, Economics and working with deaf athletes. Unfortunately, I had to go before the last presenter took the microphone.

They didn't use this kind of microphone, but it would have been cool if they did.

They didn’t use this kind of microphone, but it would have been cool if they did.

After a quick lunch, I returned to my office and worked on a few of the assignments for the upcoming semester. I have some new ideas that I hope will work out well. I also had to mess around with my iTunes. This new version got downloaded, and I am trying to figure out why songs that I deleted popped back up.

There was also an enlightening conversation with one of my History mates. We members of college faculties can have some interesting talks. I know the students would be surprised by that.

Once the conversation was over, I headed to the house to take care of some domestic issues. This included calling a plumber to work on a running toilet. It has already been looked at twice. You would think it would be tired of running by now. It also included calling someone to look at the gas logs. I need a little ambience around here.

On to the treadmill where I spent 45 minutes getting my heart rate up and reading Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die by Willie Nelson.

Appropriate title.

Appropriate title.

It’s not a scholarly work by any means, but it’s a good treadmill read. Yes, we members of college faculties like easy reads, too.

Let’s see. Treadmill. Willie. Then, the second shower of the day before a dinner of salad, chopped steak and a baked potato. Now, I am blogging and watching the Tennessee Lady Vols basketball team beat the crap out of the Missouri Tigers. The Lady Vols are pretty good this year, but it isn’t the same without Pat Summitt prowling the sidelines.

She is Tennessee basketball.

She is Tennessee basketball.

After the game, I may watch the original Ocean’s 11 with the Rat Pack.

Some real cool cats.

Some real cool cats.

Or, I may read some blogs. Or, I may think of a better blog post for next time.

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Forever Young

8 Jan

The date in the circle to the left is an important date in music history. On January 8, 1935, Elvis Presley was born in a shotgun house in Tupelo, Mississippi. I have written about Elvis before, so I won’t repeat myself. However, it struck me that he would be 77 years old if he had made it through the perils of fame and fortune. His health declined in the last few years, but, in the eyes of many, Elvis will be forever young. He is an icon frozen is time.

Other famous people hold the same position in culture and history. They died young and remain their youthful selves in the minds of the people who remember them. Thinking about Elvis, I began to wonder how old some of those people would be today.

Elvis Presley died at the age of 42. He would be 78 if he was still alive.

Elvis Presley's last concert.

Elvis Presley’s last concert.

Marilyn Monroe died at the age of 36. She would be 86 if she was still alive.

Marilyn Monroe's last movie.

Marilyn Monroe’s last movie.

James Dean died at the age of 24. He would be 81 if he was still alive.

James Dean's last movie.

James Dean’s last movie.

Jimi Hendrix died at the age of 27. He would be 70 if he was still alive.

Jimi Hendrix's last concert.

Jimi Hendrix’s last concert.

Martin Luther King, Jr. died at the age of 39. He would be 83 if he was still alive.

Martin Luther King, Jr.'s last speech.

Martin Luther King, Jr.’s last speech.

John Lennon died at the age of 40. He would be 72 if he was still alive.

John Lennon's last performance.

John Lennon’s last performance.

I wonder how the world would have been different if they had made it to old age. We will never know. Instead, they will remain forever young.

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Movie Wisdom – Don Johnson Edition

3 Jan

Occasionally, I delve into movies to find lessons to live by. There have been examinations of movies by Burt Reynolds, Don Knotts, Kevin Costner, Paul Newman and George Peppard. This post will look at the worldly wisdom that can be found in the movies of Don Johnson. Wait, that’s not right. It will look at the worldly wisdom of one movie starring Don Johnson, Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man.Marlboro Man

The movie was released in 1991 but had the 1980s written all over it. Don Johnson (Marlboro Man), and Mickey Rourke (Harley Davidson) are buddies on motorcycles in the future of 1996. An evil banker – bankers have been used as villains throughout the generations – is foreclosing on their favorite bar. To fight back, they rob the bank’s armored car to get the funds to pay off the bar’s note.

It turns out that the banker is also a drug dealer, and they rob the wrong cargo. Along the way, the get girls, get shot and get most of their friends killed. Some of these friends have product names like Virginia Slim, Jack  Daniels, and Jose Cuervo.

I must admit that it is one of my favorite movies, and I watch each time it shows up on the Direct TV guide. It’s not the best movie ever. It may even be one of the worst. But, it’s cool. It has Big John Studd, a professional wrestler; it has two of the hottest women of the 1980s, Vanessa Williams and Tia Carrere; and, it has Marlboro quoting stuff that his old man used to say.

My old man told me, before he left this shitty world, never chase buses or women, you’ll always be left behind.

My old man told me, before he left this shitty world, the right woman can make ya, and the wrong woman can break ya.

My old man used to tell me before he left this shitty world, five rules of playing pool for cash. Lesson #1, always shoot with a cigarette in your mouth. Lesson #2, always know the table before you shoot. Lesson #3, make sure you chalk that stick… real good… before each shot! Lesson #4, never make a bet… if you can’t pay the debt. Lesson #5, if you lose, make sure you stand up straight and tall like a man.

There it is – wisdom according to one of the best 80s movies made in the 90s.

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Choices

18 Dec

My nephew is home from his first semester of college, and we decided that tonight would be a good time to get together. The question was – what to do?

Our first choice was to watch Monday Night Football.

Are you ready for some football? Not really.

Are you ready for some football? Not really.

I don’t mean watch it on television. I mean watch it at the stadium. Tonight’s game was our Tennessee Titans against the New York Jets. Both teams suck, so we went with another option.

That option included a meeting of the Agriculture Center Management Committee. This is government at its highest level as we discussed putting in a bid for a championship rodeo. The presentation went on and on until I finally asked if we needed to vote on this. My comment included something about how we had been talking about it for 45 minutes. It was time to vote.

As soon as it passed, my nephew and I left. On the way out, he said that we didn’t follow parliamentary procedure and could have taken the vote about 40 minutes sooner. Look, if it takes that long for a county level committee to decide something, then think about all of the crap that goes on in Washington. It’s a wonder that anything gets done. Maybe, we would be better off if it didn’t.

After the meeting, we went to an Asian restaurant for fried rice and sweet and sour chicken.

I wonder if they really eat this stuff in China.

I wonder if they really eat this stuff in China.

Once dinner was devoured, we saw “The Hobbit”. My nephew has not seen the original trilogy, and I wondered if that would make a difference. It didn’t. He kept talking about how cool the special effects were and asking how long the movie was going to last. It did last a long time. They spent a lot of time talking in the middle of spending a lot of time fighting.

I won’t spoil the movie for those who haven’t seen it or read the book, but a few things stood out. First, no matter the situation there is always a magical or miraculous way out. Second, Gandalf seems to want people to struggle.

You must struggle before I save you.

You must struggle before I save you.

With a little magic, he could make things a lot easier. Of course, that’s the way it is with all magic stories. It is a struggle throughout but turns out to be simple in the end.

After the movie, I told my nephew that he should watch the trilogy. His first question, “Is Dumbledore in them?” I told him that Gandalf cam before Dumbledore and that Dumbledore was probably some kind of copy. I ended my little speech with, “Yes, Dumbledore is in them.”

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Movie Wisdom – George Peppard Edition

9 Nov

Hollywood did everything it could to make George Peppard a leading man. He appeared in several classic movies but never reached the star status that many had envisioned. In fact, his most enduring role was on “The A-Team”, the action-packed show that introduced the world to Mr. T. Despite this declining career arc, wisdom can be found in the movies of George Peppard.

From Home from the Hill

Be the kind of man that walks around with nothing in his pockets, no identification because everyone knows who you are. No cash because anyone in town would be happy to lend you anything you need. No keys ’cause you don’t keep a lock on a single thing you own. And no watch because time waits on you.

From Breakfast at Tiffany’s

You could always tell what kind of a person a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you.

It’s useful being top banana in the shock department.

Anyone who ever gave you confidence, you owe them a lot.

It’s better to look at the sky than live there.

From How the West Was Won

Well, it don’t pay to eat too much on an empty stomach.

There ain’t much glory in lookin’ at a man with his guts hanging out.

From The Carpetbaggers

Well, a man is judged by what’s in his head, not in his bed.

From Rough Night in Jericho

Forty nine percent of something is better than a hundred percent of nothing.

The difference between an amateur and a professional: a professional figures out a way to cut down the odds before he makes his move.

A man starts choking a woman is looking to go to hell in a hurry.

If you can’t handle whiskey you shouldn’t drink.

From Damnation Alley

All the dead are dead – and the living are dying.

In previous Movie Wisdom posts, I have purposely avoided television series. After all, it is about the wisdom in movies. However, Peppard played a television detective named Banacek who quoted Polish proverbs. If you like, then you should watch this compilation of those sayings.

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Sometimes It’s a Western, Sometimes It’s a Porno

5 Nov

My office sits at the end of a hallway, and I often have that part of the building to myself. During these times, it gets eerily quiet – for the most part. There may be the sound of the keys clicking on my keyboard. There may be the sound of someone shutting a door at the other end of the building. However, there is always a squeaking sound coming from the ceiling.

The first time I noticed the sound, it was at a slow and steady pace. Squeak. Squeak. Squeak. I listened for a few minutes and kept thinking I had heard that sound somewhere before. It squeaked. I listened. Then, it hit me. This was the same sound in the opening scene of Once Upon a Time in the West, a Sergio Leone Western. The scene lasts forever and shows three gunmen waiting for the train to arrive at an isolated depot. Throughout their wait, an old windmill constantly turns and squeaks.

It squeaked so bad that this guy killed himself. Don’t believe me? Look it up.

To get the full effect, you should watch a portion of the scene. That windmill noise is the one outside my office. I should add that I don’t drink water from my hat or trap flies in the barrel of my gun.

At times, the squeaking noise speeds up, and the entire dynamic changes. Instead of sounding like a rusty windmill in a Western, it sounds like a squeaking bed from a porn movie. This is a family site, most of the time, so I will not include any porn images. However, I found a link that recreates the sound at my end of the hall.

As the title says, sometimes it’s a Western, sometimes it’s a porno. Other times, I turn iTunes up to 11.

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