Tag Archives: Oscars

Lessons From Snowmageddon

22 Jan

We are currently experiencing our worst snowstorm in 13 years. I realize that it pales in comparison to the experiences of our northern neighbors, but it is a big deal for a place that is not prepared for the worst snowstorm in 13 years.image-5

During this time of being cooped up in the house, I have learned a few things. Here is a list.

Some people actually like this stuff.

Everything is closed. Schools. Businesses. Government offices. The list goes on and on. However, our local Chamber of Commerce decided to continue with their scheduled meeting. This freaked out my wife because she is on the Chamber board and was afraid she was going to miss something. They ended up getting her on a conference call because they were one short of a quorum. What did I learn from that? Half of the folks at our Chamber of Commerce are willing to put their lives on the line to support local businesses.

By the way, whenever I hear the words Chamber of Commerce, I think of The Ghost and Mr. Chicken, a movie that stars Don Knotts. There is a guard at the Chamber of Commerce picnic. If you are not C. of C., then you do not get in. Atta boy, Luther.

If Leonardo DiCaprio wins an Oscar for trouncing through the snow and not saying anything in The Revenant, then I should win an Oscar for trouncing through the snow and not saying anything while taking out the trash.

It pays to have a gas fireplace, but it does not pay to stub your toe on said fireplace. I think I am going to have to stick my foot in the snow to numb it.

Friends stole the body of Gram Parsons from the airport and tried to cremate it in Joshua Tree National Park. I learned this from my wife, who is working on an article about Nudie. If you do not know about Nudie, then you need to look him up.

Hanging around the house all day leads one to eat a lot. I need to get on the treadmill, but I have to wait until my foot stops hurting.

There are different Rummy rules for different people.

If you think you have Man of Steel, then you had better make sure before the worst snowstorm in 13 years. That will be the time that you want to watch and discover that you do not have it.

Anyway, that is what I have learned during our worst snowstorm in 13 years. In a few hours, I will not be able to learn anything because I will have lost my mind from cabin fever.

 

 

 

The Award for Missed Opportunities Goes To…

2 Mar

It’s been almost a week, and the wave of online Oscar recaps has subsided. Now, it seems like a good time to throw in my opinion. But first, a disclaimer. This is the first time that I have ever watched an entire Academy Awards broadcast. Usually, I try to catch the “In Memorium” part, but that is about it.

I watched the entire thing for a couple of reasons. I saw most of the Best Picture nominees, and, most importantly, my girlfriend wanted to watch it. The show was pretty good, but I couldn’t help but think about the missed opportunities. Look, I know the shoe goes on too long as it is, and they can’t do everything. However, if I was running things the following would have definitely happened.

The first thing that would have happened? Andy Griffith and Sylvia Kristel would have been included in the “In Memorium” montage.

I have written several times about my obsession with all things about The Andy Griffith Show and realize that most people associate him with television. However, Griffith had one of the most powerful big screen debuts of all time. In 1957, Elia Kazan directed him in A Face in the Crowd, a prophetic tale about the power of television. Griffith plays Lonesome Rhodes, a hobo turned television star turned megalomaniac. It’s amazing to see a down home character with an evil streak.Lonesome Rhodes

Sylvia Kristel gained fame in erotic movies such as Emmanuelle and Lady Chatterley’s Lover but came to the attention of adolescent American males in Private Lessons. In short, she was every teenage boy’s dream. At least, she was the dream of the ones who came of age while watching Cinemax.Sylvia Kristel

The second thing that would have happened? The James Bond tribute would have been a lot better. Here is a franchise that has lasted through 50 years and transformed a character from a chauvinist Cold Warrior to a modern action hero. It deserved more than a few film clips.

They had one Bond Girl, Halle Berry. They should have had a bunch of Bond Girls.

They had the greatest Bond singer of all time, Shirley Bassey. However, they also had the current Bond singer, Adele. They could have had them perform together. Goldfinger meets Skyfall.

All of that would have been great. However, none of it could compare to what they really should have done for the James Bond 50th Anniversary tribute. The star-studded crowd would have gone wild if the actors who have officially played James Bond had walked out together. Think about it. Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig. That would even impress Ernst Blofeld.Ernst Blofeld

Hey, here’s some trivia. George Lazenby appeared with Sylvia Kristel in a few Emmanuelle movies. Now, that’s going from one great franchise to another.