Tag Archives: Treadmill

Lessons From Snowmageddon

22 Jan

We are currently experiencing our worst snowstorm in 13 years. I realize that it pales in comparison to the experiences of our northern neighbors, but it is a big deal for a place that is not prepared for the worst snowstorm in 13 years.image-5

During this time of being cooped up in the house, I have learned a few things. Here is a list.

Some people actually like this stuff.

Everything is closed. Schools. Businesses. Government offices. The list goes on and on. However, our local Chamber of Commerce decided to continue with their scheduled meeting. This freaked out my wife because she is on the Chamber board and was afraid she was going to miss something. They ended up getting her on a conference call because they were one short of a quorum. What did I learn from that? Half of the folks at our Chamber of Commerce are willing to put their lives on the line to support local businesses.

By the way, whenever I hear the words Chamber of Commerce, I think of The Ghost and Mr. Chicken, a movie that stars Don Knotts. There is a guard at the Chamber of Commerce picnic. If you are not C. of C., then you do not get in. Atta boy, Luther.

If Leonardo DiCaprio wins an Oscar for trouncing through the snow and not saying anything in The Revenant, then I should win an Oscar for trouncing through the snow and not saying anything while taking out the trash.

It pays to have a gas fireplace, but it does not pay to stub your toe on said fireplace. I think I am going to have to stick my foot in the snow to numb it.

Friends stole the body of Gram Parsons from the airport and tried to cremate it in Joshua Tree National Park. I learned this from my wife, who is working on an article about Nudie. If you do not know about Nudie, then you need to look him up.

Hanging around the house all day leads one to eat a lot. I need to get on the treadmill, but I have to wait until my foot stops hurting.

There are different Rummy rules for different people.

If you think you have Man of Steel, then you had better make sure before the worst snowstorm in 13 years. That will be the time that you want to watch and discover that you do not have it.

Anyway, that is what I have learned during our worst snowstorm in 13 years. In a few hours, I will not be able to learn anything because I will have lost my mind from cabin fever.




A Post About Nothing

12 Apr

It’s completely quiet in the house. The only noise is the rain falling outside. I sit in my chair with the laptop in my lap (where else would it be?) and with the television on mute. There are things that I should be doing, but I am blogging about them instead of actually doing them.

I need to pack because I am going to Atlanta tomorrow. The last time I spent a few nights in Atlanta this happened.Tornado

I need to get on the treadmill, but I keep getting sidetracked by a bag of Pecan Sandies.

I need to fill out checks for income tax purposes. April 15 is still a few days away, and the government can wait. All they are going to do is take good money and waste it.

I need to turn the volume up on the television. It looks like they are having a very interesting conversation about the day’s action at The Masters. I used to watch the tournament every year but have gotten in a habit of missing it. This year, I will be busy doing some things in Atlanta. Last year, I was busy doing some things in Costa Rica.

A big storm was supposed to hit us today. It rained a lot, but there was nothing destructive going on. When I was in the bank, a lady said that she hoped it didn’t hit us. That made me start to think. Did she want it to hit someone else? That’s the kind of stuff I think about at the bank. I also wonder how much money they spend on suckers. I don’t know about your town, but around here all banks have candy sitting around for the customers.

I guess that’s it. I really can’t think of anything else to write about. Well, I have a posting idea in mind, but it will need to wait. There’s all this stuff I need to do, and I am close to falling asleep. The rain must be doing that.

Alas, there are two other things that need to be done. I have to get the towels out of the dryer, and I have to clip my fingernails. They absolutely drive me crazy when they get too long.

So, that’s it for now. I will check back in a few days from now with a report from Atlanta. Surely, it will be better than my last trip. Of course, if you didn’t click the link you don’t know how bad it was.

This Treadmill is Made for Walking

22 Mar

When people see my treadmill, they always ask if it is used for hanging laundry or for exercising. Well, I don’t do laundry, so that only leaves one option. However, I must admit that I didn’t use it effectively for a long time. I ignored it; pretended like it wasn’t there; and left it sitting in its space like it was broken down or something. Then, something strange happened. I got a physical and was told that I needed some kind of exercise, and I figured that I couldn’t ignore the treadmill any longer. In fact, I just got off of it.

This is not an accurate depiction of me. I would never wear a sweat band.

This is not an accurate depiction of me. I would never wear a sweat band.

Treadmills have been compared to hamster wheels, and that comparison is understandable. You go and go and go and don’t end up anywhere. But, isn’t that a metaphor for some times in our lives. No matter what we do something seems to be holding us in place. I think about stuff like that when I am on the treadmill. Am I a hamster on a wheel with no true destination? If that’s true, then at least I am not just sitting there eating hamster food.

I'll get on that wheel tomorrow.

I’ll get on that wheel tomorrow.

A lot of people think treadmills are boring because of that “stuck in one spot” mentality, but there are ways to keep things interesting. The aforementioned thinking is a good example. It’s a good place to let your mind roam without being interrupted by television, Twitter or the other gadgets that we have grown attached to.

Another way to prevent boredom and improve health is to vary the speeds that you are not traveling. My regimen starts with a 5 minute warm up at a speed of 2.5. Then, I hit 3.0 for 8 minutes and follow that with 2 minutes of 3.5. I kick it back down to 3.2 for another 8 minutes before revving up to 3.7 for 2 minutes more. Then, it’s back down to 3.3 for 8 minutes and back up to 3.8 for 2 more minutes. All that is concluded with a 5 minute cool down at 2.5. Before I know it, 40 minutes of exercised has passed me by. I’m not moving, so it had to be going by me.

Most of the time, I keep boredom further away by reading the Kindle, and it’s funny how some books make the exercise go faster than other ones. I just finished Cobb, a biography of Ty Cobb.

The Georgia Peach

The Georgia Peach

He is considered by many to be the greatest baseball player of all time and definitely one of the meanest. His is a fascinating life, but it isn’t conducive to the treadmill. I thought I was never going to get through it or the 40 minute sessions of walking in one spot.

The current book, The Blood Gospel, is flying by along with the walking. It is about the role of vampires in the beginnings of Christianity. It’s fiction – I think.

Fact or Fiction?

Fact or Fiction?

Here’s the thing though. I can only read the Kindle on the treadmill. I can’t read real books. People tell me that they can’t read on the treadmill, but I am convinced that they have never tried a Kindle. There are no pages to turn. There is no fighting to keep it on the rack. You just stick it up there and touch the screen. The trick is picking the right book. Unfortunately, once I start a book I have to finish it. Good or bad, I am stuck with it.

It looks like I am stuck with the treadmill, too. I may sound as crazy as Ty Cobb, but I actually like the thing.