Tag Archives: Bigfoot

Things I Do Not Understand

26 Nov

The world is full of mysteries. There are things about our home planet that we do not understand and may never will. Sometimes, I think about these mysteries and wonder about the things that I do not understand. Some of them are serious. Some of them are absurd. Some of them can be found in the middle.Understand

Tonight, I do not understand why:

airplanes stay in the sky.

some foods are only prepared during the holidays.

people wonder which came first – the chicken or the egg.

Bigfoot has never been found.

men hit women.

people think they have to choose between science and religion.

silent movies look like that are going in fast forward.

we have to fall back and spring ahead.

people need alcohol to relax or have a good time.

I am addicted to my iPhone.

many people find history boring.

Led Zeppelin will not reunite.

people choose not to vote.

fast food restaurants do not live up to their name.

we buy water in bottles when we already pay for it to come through the tap.

There you have it. On this night, those are the things I do not understand.

 

Bigfoot, Under Hair and Gert Frobe’s Co-Stars

30 Jan

Otherwise known as the lazy man’s post. With nothing else to write about, I decided to explore recent search terms that led people to the blog. I could write something witty about each one, but I decided to search them myself to see what pictures pop up. Here’s the plan: Type in the search and grab the third picture on the second row. Here goes nothing.

Kevin Costner Move

Is he moving to the left or the right?

Is he moving to the left or the right?

Rome’s Government

I didn't know the Romans invented flow charts.

I didn’t know the Romans invented flow charts.

Under Hair Machine

Kill it! Kill it!

Kill it! Kill it!

Religion In Your Face Buckle Bible Belt

This is exactly the picture that I knew would pop up.

This is exactly the picture that I knew would pop up.

Kurt Cobain Robert Frost

His face looks like the road most taken.

His face looks like the road most taken.

George Washington Is Cool

Yes, he is, son. Yes, he is.

Yes, he is, son. Yes, he is.

Marty Robbins Margaritaville

Marty sang about reincarnation, not blown out flip flops.

Marty sang about reincarnation, not blown out flip flops.

Is Bigfoot An Alien

I cheated on this one. This is a picture from my blog that showed up on the first line.

I cheated on this one. This is a picture from my blog that showed up on the first line.

Sean Connery Gert Frobe Kevin Bacon

Surely Kevin Bacon is not six degrees connected to this classic.

Surely Kevin Bacon is not six degrees connected to this classic.

What Vegas Mayor Wore A Coonskin Hat

I really can't tell from this picture.

I really can’t tell from this picture.

Push To Start Gas Pump

Looks simple enough

Looks simple enough

Linda Gray In Mini Skirts

It's not a miniskirt, but it is a beautiful 80s flashback.

It’s not a miniskirt, but it is a beautiful 80s flashback.

Surrounded By Imbeciles

I am so proud.

I am so proud.

How To Spend In World End

That's how.

That’s how.

That’s also the end.

It’s a Conspiracy

4 Mar

This semester, one of my fellow history teachers is offering a cool class on conspiracies in American history. I wish I could sit in on the course because he covers conspiracies from different eras and explains why people have been attracted to the theories during those times. It is interesting to hear his students talk about the subjects they cover in class and the assignments that he gives them. I can tell that they are having a lot of fun and learning along the way.

A few days ago, a couple of students were in my office talking and explained that each of them have been given a specific conspiracy to research and write about. As one talked about their assignment, I said that I had been there. Then, the other one talked about their assignment, and I have been there as well. Finally, one of them said that I must be the one behind all of the secrets because my travels have made me a common denominator. We laughed, but I began to think, “Damn, I have been to a lot of these places.”

With that in mind, here is a list of the places I have been lucky enough to visit that are connected to some vast conspiracy.

Cape Canaveral – One of the coolest tours anywhere, you can get a upclose view of the launch pads used from the 50s to the present. It is amazing to take a journey through the technological changes. What makes this prime conspiracy territory? Ask any moon landing skeptic, and they will tell you that these launches didn’t go anywhere. The astronauts were walking around somewhere in the desert.

Mount Rushmore – Actually, I didn’t know a conspiracy surrounded this monument until I watched an episode of Brad Meltzer’s Decoded. I thought the only conspiracy involving this place was by the people who made that stupid National Treasure: Book of Secrets movie. However, Meltzer’s minions looked into the possibility of the mount paying homage to racial purity. I don’t know about that, but I know that the Black Hills were the sacred land of the Sioux. The fact that it is now a tourist trap is conspiracy enough.

Roswell – In 1947, a UFO crashed near this New Mexico town, and the government has been covering up the incident ever since. It must be true because there is a museum dedicated to it with a lot of cool exhibits.

What? You didn’t know Bigfoot is an alien?

Then, you probably didn’t know that they have real recreations of alien autopsies.

Actually, the museum is interesting and has an extensive collection of UFO videos, research and writings.

Memphis – I wrote in a recent post about my visit to the National Civil Rights Museum, built on the site of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s assassination.

This conspiracy springs from the idea that a petty criminal like James Earl Ray could not have shot King and escaped to Europe without help. Ray fed this idea with his insistence that he was working with a man named Raoul. I have also wondered how Ray got away but had my questions answered after reading Hellhound on His Trail: The Stalking of Martin Luther King, Jr. and the International Hunt for His Assassin.

Dallas – The granddaddy of all conspiracy theories is based around the assassination of John F. Kennedy at Dealy Plaza. Most people probably believe that Lee Harvey Oswald did not act alone. Some say it was the mafia. Others say it was the Cubans, the Russians, or even the vice president. I don’t know about any of that, but I believe this conspiracy lingers for a couple of reasons.

First, a president, Abraham Lincoln, was actually the victim of a conspiracy.

Second, a visit to Dealy Plaza leads people to believe that something else must have happened. Walking around the grounds, it just makes sense that the gunman was on the grassy knoll and not in a window on an upper floor of a building. It is difficult to describe the area, but everyone should take a look for themselves. I must admit that of all the conspiracies this is the one I come closest to believing.

There you have it. The list of conspiratorial places that I have visited. I promise that this doesn’t make me the Cigarette-Smoking Man from The X-Files. Where’s my proof? If I was, then the following would happen.

Derek Dooley would resign as the head football coach at Tennessee, and the team would never lose another game.

I would win the lottery.

People would be breaking the law when they throw chewing gum on the ground.

I would win every hand of Blackjack.

All of us bloggers would be world-famous.