Tag Archives: Ozzy Osbourne

Music on the Inside

20 Jun

The other night, we saw The Rolling Stones at LP Field, the home of the Tennessee Titans. Those of you who read this blog on a regular basis know that I am a music lover and am a big fan of concerts. However, I learned something about myself at this one. I do not like stadium shows. Seeing an iconic band like The Rolling Stones is great, but football stadiums are not conducive to a good show.

First, the weather has an impact. It was miserably hot and affected my ability to enjoy to music. However, other kinds of weather can mess it up. Rain. Thunder. Lightning. Anyway, the heat was unbearable.

Second, there are no good seats. Unless you are in front of the stage or have some sort of VIP pass, there is no good place to watch a concert in a football stadium. You are always far from the stage. That means you can hear a live concert, but you cannot necessarily see a live concert.

All of this means that I am a fan of indoor concerts. Good seats are actually good seats. Even bad seats are close enough to see something. People can feel like they are part of an event rather than being on the outskirts of one.

On top of that, indoor concerts are climate controlled. I saw Jimmy Buffett in an arena while it was storming outside. It rained enough to flood Nashville over the next several days.

Bringing up Jimmy Buffett makes me think of something else. His concerts are known as outdoor parties under the sun. I have seen him outside. I have seen him inside. The indoor shows were better.

The same goes for The Rolling Stones. I saw them in an arena and in a stadium. The arena show was better. They may not have performed better, but it was a better experience.

A few months ago, we saw Kenny Chesney in concert. It was an awesome show and a lot better than the time we saw him in a stadium.

Bottom line, football stadiums are not designed for concerts and the best ones are in smaller indoor buildings. However, I do not want to disparage the band. The Rolling Stones are great, and it is hard to believe they can perform at that level at their ages. They are a Hall of Fame band, and I want to end this post on a positive note. Since they are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, I thought it would be interesting to see how many members I have seen in concert.Rock Hall

I guess it can be done by their year of induction.

1986

The Everly Brothers

Elvis Presley

1987

Bo Diddley

B.B. King

1988

Bob Dylan

Diana Ross

1989

The Rolling Stones

1990

Simon and Garfunkel

The Who

1992

Johnny Cash (I did not actually see him perform, but I met him in a bookstore.)

1993

John Fogerty

1994

Elton John

Rod Stewart

1995

Al Green

Robert Plant

1996

Pink Floyd

1997

Crosby, Stills and Nash

Parliament-Funkadelic

1998

Eagles

Fleetwood Mac

Santana

1999

Del Shannon

Bruce Springsteen

2000

Eric Clapton

Earth, Wind and Fire

James Taylor

2001

Aerosmith

Steely Dan

2002

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

2003

AC/DC

2004

Prince

Bob Seger

Steve Winwood

ZZ Top

2005

Buddy Guy

U2

2006

Ozzy Osbourne

Lynyrd Skynyrd

2008

Leonard Cohen

John Mellencamp

2009

Metallica

2011

Alice Cooper

Neil Diamond

2012

Axl Rose

2014

John Oates

Kiss

They are all Hall of Famers, and I can guarantee they all put on better shows indoors.

One Night in Vegas

4 Sep

Crazy stuff happens in Las Vegas. Just ask Prince Harry or the guys from The Hangover. It’s a place where you expect the unexpected. It could be something tame like locking your keys in the car at Hoover Dam – with the car running. Or, it could be something crazy like, I don’t know, getting a bunch of women to visit your suite and play strip billiards. Whatever the case, it seems that everyone who goes to Vegas comes back with a story.

This is the story from my last visit.

As the cab took us to check in at The Mirage, the hotel with the erupting volcano in front of it, my girlfriend noticed the sign in front of Caesar’s Palace. Elton John was performing that week, and she wanted to go badly.

I never understood what a volcano had to do with a desert mirage.

After getting the room situated, we walked through the mall at Caesar’s and made our way to the box office. The Caesar’s mall is designed to look like the Roman Forum and is filled with fancy stores. Since the Roman Forum was outside, this mall is designed to look like its outside.

It never rains in the mall at Caesar’s Palace.

The lady at the box office said that the show was sold out, but we might have an opportunity to get in. The first three rows were reserved for high rollers, and they probably wouldn’t fill all of the seats. If we would come back a few minutes before the start of the show we could get a couple of those seats.

We went back to the box office ten minutes before showtime and got third row seats FOR FREE. We walked down there like we were somebody. If the people in the upper deck only knew. Anyway, the show was great. Elton John’s piano was right in front of us, and the stage wasn’t very tall. It was like seeing him in a piano bar. They showed cool videos with each song, and he explained what each one meant.

Then, the usher walked up and tapped me on the shoulder. I thought this is it. Some high roller decided that he wanted the tickets, and we were going to get kicked out. Instead, the usher said:

“During the next song, you need to go onstage.”

“What?”

“During the next song, everyone in the first three rows gets to go onstage and dance.”

When the next song started, I grabbed my girlfriend and said, “Let’s go!”

“Where are we going?”

“Up there.”

Dozens of people danced around Elton’s piano as we danced to “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting“. The linked video shows a similar scene. I hung around the lead guitarist because I wanted to see what he was doing. Balloons fell around us as Elton played and sang. It was one of the coolest things ever.

Yep, it didn’t take long to get from “Light Blue 4” to the stage.

When we got back home, I told everybody about it. Some thought we made it up. Others thought it was cool. My more close-minded friends went another direction with stuff like:

“Did Elton get your number?”

“I bet they only invited guys up there.”

“I hope you stuck close to your girlfriend.”

You know, crap like that. I don’t care. I still thought it was great.

As we left the concert, my girlfriend and I were still talking about being onstage. We walked through the mall to get back to The Mirage and were not paying attention to where we were going. As we turned a corner, I literally ran into this guy.

Hey, what the fuck?

That’s right. After dancing around Elton John’s piano, I almost knocked over Ozzy Osbourne.

I didn’t get anyone to play strip billiards with me, but that was my best night in Las Vegas.

Putting the Amp Back into Vampire

24 Feb

Last year, I saw Ozzy Osbourne in concert, and, like everything about the Ozzman, the show started out strangely. As the lights went down, movie scenes were shown on a giant screen with one caveat, Ozzy was superimposed into the scenes. One had him as a blue person from Avatar. As Ozzy checked out his new body, his arms and legs were not the only giant blue appendages showing. He was also placed in a scene with the Twilight girl. As she gazed into the distance, Ozzy slipped up behind her and said, “Vampires are (a slang term for female genitalia), I am the Prince of Darkness!” And with that, Ozzy hit the stage.

Now, Ozzy Osbourne is not a great philosopher by any means, but he is correct when he states at vampires are (a slang term for female genitalia). Things such as True Twilight Blood have taken one of the great characters of folklore/literature/movies and turned him into a dream boat for teenage girls in one incarnation and one member of a creature ensemble dropped into a southern gothic tale in another. How can vampires be reduced to such a status? Well, I am here to fix this and remind people of what a vampire is really meant to be.

The following is a list of real vampires who would not be caught “living dead” in a series of books with a girl named Sookie or in a series of movies that attracts squealing girls.

Eleonore von Schwarzenberg – Everyone should have the Smithsonian Channel because it has cool documentaries like The Vampire Princess.

Bram Stoker's Inspiration?

An Austrian princess, Eleonore gained the suspicions of her people as she battled cancer. Her physical appearance and her attempts to gain better health seemed strange to the people of the early 18th Century. Rumors fed into local folklore, and soon people began whispering that she was a vampire. Upon her death, steps were taken to make sure she would not awake. Some scholars believe her story was the inspiration for Bram Stoker’s writings and use the deleted opening of Dracula as the proof. It seems that the original beginning had a vampire attack at the tomb of an Austrian princess.

Nosferatu– What would happen if this guy showed up at Sookie’s house?

Sookie! Sookie! Where's my cookie?

Ok, I have to admit that I have never seen this classic silent movie, but it is high on my list of things to do. After all, it introduces the concept that vampires can be killed by sunlight. And, the director thought Max Schreck, who played Nosferatu, was so ugly that all he needed was some pointy ears and false teeth. That’s a little more realistic that what is put out there today.

Bela Lugosi– The quintessential vampire for many people, Lugosi actually played Dracula on Broadway before he ever played the role on film.

The Curse of Dracula

On playing Dracula, Bela Lugosi once said, “It’s a living, but it’s also a curse. Dracula’s curse.” Perhaps no actor has been associated with a character like Lugosi was associated with Dracula. He played the character with style and a hypnotic personality. He didn’t have fangs because he didn’t need them. Lugosi had aspects that were more deadly. Dracula, one of Lugosi’s first films, was released in 1931, and he seemed stuck playing in horror movies from that point on. In fact, he returned to the role in an attempt to make fun of it when he appeared in 1948s Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Meet Frankenstein.

Blacula– Two genres come together as Blaxploitation meets horror. William Marshall plays an ancient African prince who is turned into a vampire by Dracula.

I'm Gonna Catch You

With a soundtrack featuring the Hues Corporation, the movie finds the vampire awakened in Los Angeles where he finds his reincarnated wife. In effect, he is played as a sympathetic figure who was a victim of the more famous Dracula. As a fan of Blaxploitation films, I have several songs from the soundtrack on my iPod and know that Blacula better be happy that he did not run into Pam Grier.

Lily Munster– Vampires are supposed to have a sex appeal that attracts their victims. That’s why we have the pop culture vampire problem of today. For my money, the sexiest vampire of all time appears in a sit-com.

Look into my eyes.

Yvonne De Carlo played Lily as a housewife trying to get through the zaniness of her husband and father. However, she also had a bit of spice because De Carlo simply couldn’t help it. Those who know her only for The Munsters have missed out on one of the sexiest and most beautiful actresses of all time. I must admit that the show never made sense to me because I never understood why she was married to Herman. Lily could have sunk her teeth into any man. (Sidenote, the Munster house sits on Wisteria Lane and is not far from the Bates Motel.)

Gary Oldman – Apparently, this is coming full circle. The list started with the princess that inspired Bram Stoker and ends with an iconic portrayal of Bram Stoker’s creation. Obviously, producers wanted everyone to know that Bram Stoker’s Dracula was based on the original work. Why else would they put Stoker’s name in the title? But, I am not honoring Stoker here. I am honoring Gary Oldman.

Nice Shades

I mean, how cool is that? Blue-tinted sunglasses. Top hat. Stick pin. He could be a ZZ Top song. But, the best part about Oldman’s version is his choice of damsels to quench his thirst. Winona Ryder is my favorite actress of all time. I’ve had a crush on her since Beetlejuice, and I am serious when I say that she can steal from me anytime. On top of having Winona hanging around, Dracula gets to have sex on a park bench with the hot redhead.

Look, I don’t know anything about Team Blonde Vampire or any of these other reincarnations, but I know one thing for sure. If I ever head to that little Louisiana town in search of Sookie, then this is the team I am taking with me.