Last weekend, my state hosted Bonnaro, the music festival that has become a destination for those looking for a good time and good music. They have a wide variety of acts, and I have often said that I would like to go if I could fly in on a helicopter for a few hours. Listening to music would be awesome, but I am too well into my years to be hanging out in a field without a hot shower.
After reading a lot of blogs and tweets about Bonaroo, I began to think about what performers I would like to see at a festival. Then, I took it a little further. What performers have I never seen live but would like to see? Then, with an idea string going, I began to think about the performers I would like to see live but never will because they are, well, not live. They are dead.
After coming up with a list of dead performers that I wished I had seen, I came up with my own music festival fantasy -Deadaroo. These are not zombie versions of famous people. This is a collection of people in their primes. This is a music festival of some of my favorites at the top of their game.
The following is a list of acts; the stage where they will perform; and, the thing I would most want to see them do (with links).
Appearing on the “Knockin’ ‘Em Dead” Comedy Stage:
Jerry Clower, the Mouth of the South, telling his greatest stories, including A Coon Huntin’ Story.
Rodney Dangerfield with his self-deprecating routine and trademark line, “I get no respect.”
Jackie Gleason, famous for television and movies, was also great at stand up comedy and was known for the signature line,”How sweet it is.” The video is from The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast (begin watching at 5:03).
The Rat Pack, consisting of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., and others, brings their Vegas act to the stage.
Scheduled for the “Dead Zone” Music Stage:
Big Joe Turner, early R&B and Rock and Roll pioneer, performing his hits, including “Shake, Rattle and Roll“.
Jim Croce, folk singer extraordinaire, singing “I Got a Name” and the rest of his classics.
Waylon Jennings, one of the original Outlaws of country music, with a passel of hits including “Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys“.
Johnny Cash – the Man in Black, the legend, and someone I actually met – singing songs that span decades but ending with one of the early ones, “Folsom Prison Blues“.
Sam Cooke, paragon of R&B and Soul, bringing his best and “Bring It On Home to Me“.
As the finale, THE country legend known to many as Luke the Drifter, Hank Williams singing “Hey Good Lookin’” and many more classic songs.
At “Rock in Pieces”, the main stage, Deadaroo brings you:
Isaac Hayes, Black Moses of 70s Soul, with his Academy Award winning theme, “Shaft“.
James Brown, the Hardest Working Man in Show Business, performs all of his hits, including “Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag“.
Stevie Ray Vaughan, one of the greatest bluesmen ever, breaks out his guitar and plays “Mary Had a Little Lamb“.
The Reggae man himself, Bob Marley, straight from Jamaica with songs such as “No Woman No Cry“.
Ray Charles, genius and master of all musical genres, performs songs known to all and promises to stoke the crowd with “What’d I Say“.
Who could top those legends? Who is worthy to close the show of such greatness? Jimi Hendrix, the greatest guitar player of them all, as he electrifies Deadaroo with “Purple Haze” and other songs of psychedelic form.
That’s Deadaroo. The End
SBI: A Thinning Crowd 
Hilarious -Deadaroo! I agree all the good ones are gone. Love to see Ray Charles Sam Cooke the Rat Pack.Cheers Sue
Thanks. Obviously, there are more great ones, but these are at the top of my list.
I would totally attend Deadaroo.
You have great taste, sir. I should have called it The Grave Robbers Ball.