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The Honeymooners – An Offer We Couldn’t Refuse

20 Jul

Day 4 of the honeymoon was supposed to be a day of rest. I promised Necole that we would have some pool time, and this seemed like the right place. The weather was warm and the pool chairs looked comfortable. However, plans changed when one of Necole’s friends suggested a winery for us to visit. Luckily, we were able to get a midday tour and tasting.

We drove to the Inglenook Chateau, owned by Francis Ford Coppola, and it was what one would imagine when they think about a winery. Of course, our idea of a California winery comes from Falcon Crest, the old television series. Walking up, I expected to see Jane Wyman at any moment.Honeymoon 017

The tour guide took us through the wine making process at Inglenook. He also took us through its history as one of the area’s great vineyards until it fell into decay under corporate ownership. Coppola saved it with money from The Godfather and has spent decades bringing the estate and wine to its former glory.

After the tour, we tasted fantastic wines and spent a few dollars shipping some of it home. The tour and tasting whetted our appetites, and the guide suggested the Rutherford Grill, which sat across the street. When Necole and I sat down, we both commented that the restaurant reminded us of Houston’s, a place that used to be in Nashville.

Later, I found out that the Rutherford Grill and a lot of other restaurants in California are owned by the Houston’s corporation. It began and was headquartered in Nashville until the owners decided that they were too good for us. They would probably find it interesting that Nashville has one of the nation’s best food scenes and has dozens of restaurants better than the ones they own.

Anyway, I am getting off track. We returned to the hotel and made it to the pool. I got under a cabana and took a nap while Necole got some sun. It was late in the afternoon, and we learned from experience that the Sonoma temperature changed quickly as the sun goes down.

Soon, it was time to eat again. As you can tell, we did a lot of eating on this honeymoon. This time we wanted some casual and laid back, so we went to Mary’s Pizza Shack on the plaza. It was as good as any other pizza, but my focus wasn’t on the food. My mind kept going over the history that was around me.

I had read that this plaza was an important part of the Bear Flag Rebellion, when California declared its independence from Mexico and asked to become part of the United States. That’s the simple version. Like all things, reality is a bit more complicated. I won’t use this post to provide a history lesson because that’s not what I was thinking about while eating pizza.

I was thinking that President James K. Polk, from Columbia, Tennessee, wanted to bring California into the fold and used every means necessary to get that done. I was also thinking about Peter Burnett, native Tennessean and California’s first governor. I was wondering if the people of California realize the role Tennesseans played in the history of their state.

After dinner, we went back to the hotel and found ourselves wanting more. With this in mind, we went to Carneros, a place that was recommended by one of my Twitter friends. We sat at the chef’s bar and watched them work in the open kitchen. Necole had an awesome creme brulee, and I had a so-so cookie concoction.

The day was great, and I realized that the Tennessee guys who moved Houston’s could not have gone to California if some other Tennessee guys had not gotten it in the first place.

Post Wedding Post

7 Jul

A lot has changed since the last post. Namely, Necole and I got married. Everyone said that it was a great ceremony, but I keep thinking about how fast it went. The whole thing was over before I realized it. Here are a few highlights.

It rained. That never happens around here in July. Usually, it is bone dry. Rain is something that people usually wish for this time of year. We weren’t wishing for it because it was going to be an outdoor wedding. Despite this weather, it turned out great. We moved it inside and had the reception under a big tent. It was also cool. One of my friends said something about how he was glad that sweat wasn’t running down the…well, I’ll stop there.

People also seemed to enjoy our musical choices. There was no “Wedding March”, or whatever it is called when the bride comes down the aisle. We had some Etta James. There was also some Beyonce. I walked out to “Ecstasy of Gold” from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.Good Bad Ugly

An Ennio Morricone themed wedding can’t be beat.

I write all of that to say that the wedding went great even with the rain. It was a just a hurdle that had to be crossed, and we did it successfully. After the wedding, we went to The Hutton, one of Nashville’s fanciest hotels. It was good to be by ourselves for the evening.

It was there that we learned about the plane crash at the San Francisco Airport. It was a tragedy, and it was lucky that there were not as many deaths. Selfishly, we thought about the fact that we are supposed to fly into the San Francisco Airport tomorrow. If it is open, then it will feel weird to land at a place where a crash just happened.

Here I am experiencing my first day of marriage. I have lost the keys to my house. We are wondering if we will be able to fly to our honeymoon destination. It’s just another day in the life of an old married dude.

The next post will be the “Post Honeymoon Post” and, hopefully, will be about our adventures in Napa Valley.

My iPod Has Issues – In Their Place

9 Oct

After several hours of grading papers, my eyes are imprinted with words typed in Times New Roman, and my mind is a mash-up of everything from Pocahontas to Mel Gibson. Honestly, I doubt that I can write coherent sentences, and I know I can’t type a coherent post. So, I have decided to rely on Old Faithful and dip into a playlist on my iPod to see what is happening in there.

At some point, I made a list of songs that have the names of places in their titles. Weird? True. What can I say? I’m kind of weird. There are probably a lot of weird places, too.

This qualifies as a weird place, and it’s one that I have actually visited.

Here is a list of twenty random songs from the playlist called “Location, Location, Location”.

“The Man From Laramie” by Al Martino

“El Paso” by Marty Robbins

“Margaritaville” by Jimmy Buffett

“Walkin’ Back to Georgia” by Jim Croce

“Wichita Lineman” by Glen Campbell

“Spanish Harlem” by Ben E. King

“Chattanooga Dog” by Jimmy Martin

“Soul Francisco” by Tony Joe White

“Kentucky Woman” by Neil Diamond

“Georgia On My Mind” by Ray Charles

“Hotel California” by The Gipsy Kings

“Jackson” by Johnny Cash

“Ramblin’ Man From Gramblin'” by Sam Spence

“Texas” by Chris Rea

“European Swallow” by The Refreshments

“Tennessee Hound Dog” by The Osbourne Brothers

“If Hollywood Don’t Need You” by Don Williams

“California Love” by 2Pac, Roger Troutman and Dr. Dre

“Waterloo Sunset” by The Kinks

“Good Time in London” by Big Mama Thornton

So, check out these songs. You might want to download them in your place.

Poppelgangers

6 Sep

Have you ever noticed that pop culture is a copycat entity? If there is a popular game show that offers a million dollar prize, then other shows are created that offer million dollar prizes. If there is a show about crime scene investigators, then there are other shows where DNA is the secret to solving crimes. This is something that has happened in pop culture since there has been pop culture.

However, there is another phenomenon out there. On that occasion when the stars are aligned correctly, two people will have the same idea at the exact same time. This doesn’t create copycats. It creates poppelgangers, pop cultural twins, that appear and, at times, disappear simultaneously. Like doppelgangers, there is a good one and an evil one. I will list five and distinguish the good from the evil. If you can think of any let me know.

The Addams Family and The Munsters

The family that preys together stays together.

Description: A family of monsters lives in a mansion and faces daily hijinks that the audience is supposed to laugh at.

Good Twin: The Munsters – Based on classic movie monsters, this show had some truly funny episodes. On top of that, they had a cool car and a cool, guitar-driven theme song. Plus, there was Herman’s forehead and the lovely Yvonne De Carlo, one of the hottest actresses who ever graced the screen.

Evil Twin: The Addams Family – First, it was based on some kind of comic instead of literary characters. Second, the characters were too weird and gave me a headache each time I watched it. I give it props for having a memorable theme song and having Carolyn Jones all tangled up in goth. I have a thing for goth, but it’s not enough.

Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie

In a magical showdown, they used the “turn your enemy into a doll” trick simultaneously.

Description: A hot blonde with magical powers gets her man in trouble on a weekly basis with those magical powers.

Good Twin: This is a difficult one, but I am going with I Dream of Jeannie. Barbara Eden’s outfit was very revealing and her pillow-filled living space looked like a good place to….rest. Larry Hagman played her master, which prepared him for role of power-broker J.R. Ewing in Dallas. The show was also propaganda for the space program. USA! USA!

Evil Twin: It pains me to say it, but it has to be Bewitched. Derwood, Dagwood, Darren. Whatever his name was, he was played by two actors. That’ll mess up a show every time. Elizabeth Montgomery was awesome, but I would have liked to seen more of her. One of those witchy Halloween costumes would have helped. However, what truly made this evil was the inclusion of Agnes Morehead, her mother, and Paul Lynde.

Tombstone and Wyatt Earp

Don’t shoot the messenger, but you have some food stuck in your moustache.

Description: Wyatt Earp gets everyone shot at the OK Corral except for himself. Afterwards, he goes on a vengeful campaign to kill the people who killed his brother.

Good Twin: This is another tough decision because I like both. However, Tombstone is the good twin. Why? Val Kilmer is an awesome Doc Holliday, and he utters cool line after cool line. In addition, I believe this movie shows a more accurate portrayal of the gunfight. The historian in me had to say that.

Evil Twin: While Val Kilmer makes a better Doc Holliday, Kevin Costner makes a better Wyatt Earp. That should put this movie in the “good” category, but there just isn’t enough there. One more thing, it’s too long. The foreshadow scene at the beginning and the flashback scene at the end could have been done away with.

The Matrix and The Thirteenth Floor

Everyone has seen The Matrix poster, so here is The Thirteenth Floor poster. Pretty cool, huh?

Description: A computer expert discovers that his world is actually a computer program.

Good Twin: The Thirteenth Floor. Never heard of it? That’s because The Matrix explosion obliterated it. But, I don’t care about that. The Thirteenth Floor has three levels of “reality”. There is the one that the computer guy lives in. There is the one he travels into. Then, there is future Los Angeles that he ends up in. It also has Gretchen Mol, and you can’t go wrong with that.

Evil Twin: The Matrix. First, Keanu Reeves is the savior of mankind. I don’t feel good about our prospects in that scenario. Sure, Laurence Fishburne makes things cool, but wouldn’t you have rather seen Samuel L. Jackson in that role. “AGENT SMITH! I’M GOING TO FUCK YOU UP!”

The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family

Please, just don’t sing.

Description: A family full of kids that wear primary-colored clothes get into crazy situations and sometimes sing.

Good Twin: This is an easy one because The Brady Bunch was awesome. Marcia was so much of a knockout that she got Joe Namath and Davey Jones to come to the house. The other kids were a little whiny, but the relationship between Alice and Sam the Butcher made up for that. Behind the scenes, the oldest son was making a play for the mom. How can you beat a story like that? Enquiring minds want to know.

Evil Twin: The Partridge Family was another show that gave me a headache. That red-headed kid was a disaster, and Shirley Jones could not hold a candle to Florence Henderson. The manager was kind of creepy. The one daughter was cool, but the entire show would have been a lot better if they didn’t sing so much. Oh yeah, the bus was ok if you were going to Woodstock.

My iPod Has Issues – The Name Game

16 Jul

It’s been a while since I delved into the psyche of my iPod. For those who don’t know, my iPod has no direction and is misunderstood by a lot of people. It is filled with music from different genres and time periods. It has been told that it contains nothing less than 20 years old. I’m not sure that is true, but it definitely has an old soul. Most people who listen to my iPod have a difficult time understanding how such a collection could have come together in the first place.

This blog is littered with posts about my iPod, and you can psychoanalyze it yourself here, here, and here. In these couch sessions, I simply hit shuffle and list the songs that pop up. Indeed, it is a wide variety, but I still can’t see why people say “can we please listen to something else?” when my iPod is trying to entertain them.

In this post, I am looking at my iPod from an altered perspective by focusing on one of its playlists. This one is called “What’s In a Name?” and contains selections that have the names of people in their titles. Clever, huh? So, a dosey-doe and here we go.

1. “All About Clovis Ledbetter” by Jerry Clower

2. “Rocky’s Reward” by Bill Conti

3. “Rhiannon” by Stevie Nicks

4. “Sheena is a Punk Rocker” by The Ramones

5. “Ziggy Stardust” by David Bowie

6. “William, It Was Really Nothing” by The Smiths

7. “Jack & Coke” by Lynda Kay

8. “Truck Turner” by Isaac Hayes

9. “Bennie and the Jets” by Elton John

10. “Sonny Got Caught in the Moonlight” by Robbie Robertson

11. “Jack & Diana” by John Mellencamp

12. “Willie, Waylon and Me” by David Allan Coe

13. “Marriage of Dale and Ming” by Queen

14. “Death of Floyd Collins” by John Prine and Mac Wiseman

15. “Jolene” by Dolly Parton

16. “Father Ramirez” by Ennio Morricone

17. “Ruby Tuesday” by The Rolling Stones

18. “The Legend of Bonnie and Clyde” by Merle Haggard

19. “Caroline No” by The Beach Boys

20. “The Ballad of Jed Clampett” by Lester Flatt, Earl Scruggs & The Foggy Mountain Boys

I really don’t think my iPod is all that strange.

Seeing a Whiter Shade of Pale

12 Jul

I have always been fascinated by Procol Harum’s “A Whiter Shade of Pale“. It is a song that takes me into a magical, dreamlike world where the atmosphere is slightly askew. In this world, a man and woman dance as the crowd cheers them on. When they are alone, he whispers something into her ear, and she suddenly leaves. What did he say? Was it his view of her future with him? Was it something she knew she must get away from? Whatever it was, it turned her cold as the blood drained from her face and made her run. After she leaves, he sits despondent until another woman enters his world. Unfortunately for him, the story repeats itself.

We skipped the light fandango

Turned cartwheels ‘cross the floor

I was feeling kind of seasick

But the crowd called out for more

The room was humming harder

As the ceiling flew away

When we called out for another drink

The waiter brought a tray

And so it was that later

As the miller told his tale

That her face at first turned ghostly

Turned a whiter shade of pale

She said there is no reason

And the truth is plain to see

That I wander through my playing cards

And would not let her be

One of sixteen vestal virgins

Who were leaving for the coast

And although my eyes were open

They might just as well been closed

And so it was later

As the miller told his tale

That her face at first just ghostly

Turned a whiter shade of pale

I Promised Myself That I Would Not Write This Post

4 Jul

When I started this blog, I promised myself that I would stay away from politics. It is supposed to be a light-hearted blog with a few instances of seriousness from everyday life. I come to the blog world to escape from the other world, and I believe a lot of other readers to that as well. Except for a few attempts at humor at the expense of government officials, I have kept that promise to myself.

However, the Supreme Court’s decision on health care has led a lot of Internet people to provide their thoughts and opinions concerning the law and the state of politics in the United States. I have read a quite a bit; agreed with some; and, disagreed with others. Finally, I decided to break the promise I made to myself and espouse my opinions on the subject at hand.To prevent myself from going on a tangent, I will simply number my thoughts.

1. A lot of people bemoan the divisiveness of politics these days and wonder where we lost our civility. I am not sure we ever had it. Vice-president Aaron Burr killed Alexander Hamilton in a duel. Senator Charles Sumner was almost beaten to death in the Senate chamber. Oh, and there was the time where the country thought it was a good idea to split and fight a war against itself. Compared to that, I think the screams of talking heads are relatively mild.

2. I theorize that today’s divisiveness began when Hillary Clinton got on television and stated that her husband’s affair with an intern was a “vast right-wing conspiracy”. I agree that he should have never been impeached, but no Republican forced him to unzip his pants for Monica Lewinski.

With that as a backdrop, George W. Bush won the 2000 election, and those on the left could not get over it. He stole it, and it was a travesty of America’s election system. Well, he wasn’t the first person elected to the presidency without winning the popular vote. On top of that, Al Gore lost the election more than Bush won it. Everyone focuses on Florida but forgets that Gore could not win his “home” state. He forgot where he came from, but those of us in Tennessee did not forget. If he had not taken Tennesseans for granted, then Florida would not have mattered. Besides, if I was running for president and my brother was the governor of a state, then I would expect to win that state, too.

3. This brings me to the hatred of our presidents. I know a lot of people who hate- HATE I say – George W. Bush. I also know people who hate -HATE I say- Barack Obama. Depending on who you talk to, each of them is, at most, the Devil himself or, at least, the worst president in history. Here is a fact, all – I say ALL – presidents do good things AND bad things. Nobody is perfect, and nobody can make everyone happy.

I don’t believe a president can be judged accurately until a generation has passed since their time in office. There is simply too much emotion involved for an unbiased -wait, that’s impossible in history too – a close to unbiased appraisal. In the old days, people hated Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and probably even George Washington.

Personally, I believe a person who is willing to take on the stress of that job deserves more than our vitriol. It doesn’t matter if we think they are a dumb frat boy who can’t speak English or a foreign-born Muslim who is a communist.

4. I do not like the health care law for several reasons. First, I believe it places more burden on small businesses during economic times when we should be lifting burdens to help them succeed. We need jobs before anything, and they create jobs.

Second, I believe that the federal government should stay out of our day-to-day lives as much as possible. This country was built on independence, not dependence. This means that they should stay out of our pockets with big taxes and realize that it is our money and not theirs. In fact, a flat 10% tax should work fine. It also means that they should stay out of the bedrooms of consenting adults and out of the decisions of pregnant women.

Telling us that we have to buy something is, in my opinion, interfering with our personal decisions. People say that it is good because everyone needs health insurance, but the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Telling us we have to buy a product is a slippery slope. What happens next? Will we have to buy an electric car from GM? Will a prohibition be placed on unhealthy activities such as smoking, drinking alcohol and eating fast food? You may think this is crazy, but we had prohibition once before. And, it was a disaster.

Simply, I do not like the health care law because the government should not be able to tell us what to do. It sets bad precedent.

I guess that’s all I have to say. I thought about going through all of the presidents and writing about the things they did while in office. That would take forever though. One day during a meeting, I got bored and listed the presidents. I then marked my opinion of them by putting a + by the ones I thought did a good job and a – by the ones I thought did a bad job. Maybe, I will put that list on the blog one day.

109 in the Shade

29 Jun

The thermometer on my car registered 109 degrees a few minutes ago. As the old folks around here say, it’s hotter than blazes, with blazes being the Bible Belt term for Hell.

It’s hot in the South during this time of year, but this is way out of the norm. Add the fact that it has barely rained in a month, and things are getting a little parched. Local boy, Al Gore, must be jumping for joy. With the mercury hitting 109, I figured it would be a good opportunity to honor that important number. So, here are all things One Zero Nine.

109 – the atomic number for meitnerium. However, I am not scientifically-minded enough to tell you what meitnerium is.

Highway 109 – a state highway that runs from the Tennessee/Kentucky border to my town. Along the way, it passes through such places as Portland and Gallatin. Once, I went on a date with a girl who lived on this road, but she wouldn’t return my calls afterward. I wonder what happened.

109 Department Store – a shopping destination in Japan that was designed to attract 30-something females. Instead, it became a haven for those in the Gyaru subculture. I don’t know what that is, so I Google-imaged it. Looks like girls trying to be living Anime characters.

Starbase 109 – I am not sure how to describe this, so you might want to check it out here.

109th Congress – This bunch, led by Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, was known as the “Do Nothing Congress”. Damn, I wish the Washington crowd would start doing nothing again. An inactive politician is a lot better than a proactive one. That way they can’t mess anything up.

109 AD – Kush was under the rule of King Teqerideamani.

109 BC – Spartacus – leader of rebel slaves; inspiration for a Kirk Douglas movie; inspiration for a cool television show with lots of sex and violence – was born.

That’s it. Hopefully, the temperature hasn’t climbed as I have been writing this.

On the Wings of Thorn Birds and the Winds of War

8 Jun

Have you ever noticed that television is filled with copycats? Let one show succeed, and the networks clamor with a plethora of similar shows. That’s why the airwaves are currently filled with reality shows and crime lab dramas. That’s why a few years ago we had dozens of game shows with contestants trying to become millionaires. That’s also why television from the mid-1970s to the mid-1980s was dominated by miniseries – dramas, usually based on popular novels, that spanned a few nights. They were must-see TV back in the day.

This topic has entered my mind because I am in the middle of rewatching one of my favorites. As I have watched it, I have remember how millions of people got caught up in these shows, and it seemed as if the world stopped to see what would happen. The following are the ones that I remember the most.

Centennial – The one I am currently watching was based on a James Michener novel and lasted over 26 hours. It traced the history of a western town from the arrival of the first trapper until the 1970s and took viewers into the lives of the people who played a role in the history of the area. It was fictional but had some real history mixed in. It seemed to star every television personality of the day, including Richard Chamberlain.

Roots – The granddaddy of them all, this miniseries was based on the work of Alex Haley, a fellow Tennessean, as he traced his family’s history through slavery. Over 100 million people watched it finale, and it spawned two sequels. After this success, Haley was sued for plagiarism and admitted that some parts of his work were lifted from another source. It seemed to star every African-American actor of the day but did not include Richard Chamberlain.

The Thorn Birds – Based on a novel by Colleen McCullough, it was the second highest rated miniseries of all time. Admittedly, I did not watch this one, and I am not sure my parents did either. It is set in Australia and follows a woman who is in love with a priest. This causes her problems for obvious reasons. It had a bevy of well-known stars, including Richard Chamberlain.

Rich Man, Poor Man – I always thought that was a cool title. This one came early in the miniseries experiment and lasted seven weeks. Based on a novel by Irwin Shaw, it followed the differing paths of the Jordache brothers. Obviously, one became wealthy, although not by selling fashionable jeans, and the other one struggled to get by. Peter Strauss and Nick Nolte played the brothers, but it did not star Richard Chamberlain.

Shogun – James Clavell’s novel was a fictionalized account of the life of William Adams. Don’t know who he is? Don’t worry, I don’t know either. However, I know that the main character is an Englishman named John Blackthorne, and he finds himself shipwrecked off the coast of Japan. After the wreck, he makes enemies and friends while trying to adjust to a different culture. The miniseries was filled with Japanese actors and Richard Chamberlain.

The Winds of War – Herman Wouk’s writing was the basis for this one as it details the years leading up to the entrance of the United States into World War II. It covers major world events during this period and their effects on two American families, the Henry’s and the Jastow’s. Robert Mitchum starred in this series, but it did not star Richard Chamberlain.

These are but a few examples of a genre that once thrived on the television sets of America. Obviously, I have missed several. If you have any favorites let me know.

Movie Wisdom – Burt Reynolds Edition

30 May

A couple of blogging ideas popped into my mind over the weekend, and I decided to smash them together to form a semi-regular series of posts.

First, I went on a quick trip to Chattanooga, which isn’t too far away, and crossed Monteagle Mountain along the way. Those not from Tennessee may not know about Monteagle, but it is one of the great spots in our state. It is also where the Bandit gained his notoriety. Don’t know what Bandit I am talking about? Well, there is only one Bandit, and that is the one played by Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit. According to the opening song, the Bandit became famous when he safely steered his jack-knifed truck down Monteagle.

As I crossed the mountain, I started thinking about a blog of my favorite Burt Reynolds movies.

Then, I published a post that included a profound line from one of my favorite movies. I have done this before and have noticed that it has become a habit in my blogging/tweeting life. With that in mind, I started thinking about a post of movie quotes that could also be used as guidance in our daily lives. It seems that screenwriters can be quite clever when given time to come up with something.

With those two ideas running through my mind, I came to the smash idea where I will take movie stars and list the “life guidance” quotes from their films. The quotes may be profound, funny, or just plain dumb. The common denominator is that I think they are great lines and can be useful in some way.

Before the listing begins, there are a few rules.

1. I must have seen the movie.

2. Each movie must include the mentioned movie star (although they may not be the one that says the line).

So, here goes with movie wisdom from Burt Reynolds movies.

From Deliverance

“Sometimes you have to lose yourself ‘fore you can find anything.”

“If you hit any rocks don’t hit ’em with your head.”

From White Lightning

“I was born ready.”

“The good, they die young.”

“Only two things in the world I’m scared of – women and the police.”

From The Longest Yard (The original. Not the Adam Sandler crap.)

“Shaving points off a football game. Man, that’s un-American.”

“I’ve always had my shit together. Always. My problem’s been I couldn’t lift it.”

From Smokey and the Bandit

“If you’re gonna hang out in places like this wear a badge on your didey.”

“Cowboys love fat calves.”

“I guess a legend and an out of work bum look a lot alike.”

“I take my hat off for one thing. One thing only.”

“When you tell somebody somethin’, it depends on what part of the United States you’re standin’ in as to just how dumb you are.”

From Smokey and the Bandit II

“When you raid a cathouse, you take the piano player, too.”

From The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

“I started out poor, and I worked my way up to outcast.”

From Striptease

“I don’t need no stripper to tell me how to live.”

From Boogie Nights

“What do you expect when you’re on top? You know? It’s like Napoleon. When he was king, you know, people were just constantly trying to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire. So, it’s history repeating itself all over again.”