Tag Archives: Smokey and the Bandit

V for Versatile

29 Oct

I was going to start this blog by writing a paragraph filled with letters that begin with the letter V. However, I can’t think of enough, so I will just put up a picture of this guy.Vendetta

This is happening because I was awarded the Versatile Blogger Award by one of my favorite blogs, Chandler Swain Reviews. If you like movies (and who doesn’t like movies?), then you need to head over and check it out. Heck, he may have a review for the above photographed Mr. V.

I really appreciate the award and want to publicly thank CSR for reading this blog and sharing it with his many readers.

This award comes with several rules that should be followed. First, I am to provide a link to the presenter of the award. Mission accomplished.

Next, I am to display the award.Versatile

Isn’t it beautiful? Now, I am to list seven things about me that could be considered interesting.

1. When I was a youngster, I got lost in Sequoia National Park.

2. I don’t like peaches, but I love fried peach pies.

3. I have traveled to each of the 50 states.

4. Late one night, I fell asleep standing up.

5. I am pretty sure that I have the entire script of Smokey and the Bandit memorized.

6. I own a miniaturized replica of Mayberry, North Carolina.

7. I love my wife, and I hope she makes it this far into the post to read that.

Here’s the important part. I am to name 15 other blogs to receive the Versatile Blogger Award.

Trask Avenue – I have been reading about the street side activities at Trask for a long time. You need to see what’s happening on the corner.

Front Range Scribbles – Colorado has a music scene, and everything you need to know about it is right here.

Satanic Panic – Another great site about music, and the name of the blog is awesome.

Thoughts From The West Five – This has to be the most versatile blog being produced in Great Britain. We have been reading each other’s stuff for a long time.

Paint Later – This is a view of the art world from the Land Down Under. Don’t paint later. Paint now.

Senior Moments – These are some good Tennessee folks, and they do a lot of traveling. Go on over and read about their adventures.

Manu Kurup – This has to be the most versatile blog being produced in India. Some great writing is coming out of this one.

Dying Note – Another blog about music, this writer must live a mysterious existence. For awhile, they will disappear. Then, they are back with a vengeance. Go check it out.

Guapola – Hey, another music blog. I hope Guapola isn’t taking payola.

Cole Mining – This mine is filled with nuggets of wisdom and great writing.

Serendipity – A blog by two very interesting people. When you read it, I think you will agree.

Hasty Words – For some really creative writing, this is the place to go.

Carl D’Agostino – The cartoons always make me laugh and always make my day.

I should have numbered these. I keep losing track of how many I have listed.

The Nashville Fork – This one is produced by a co-worker. It’s about the food scene in and around Nashville. I know a lot of you don’t live around here, but there are also some great recipes that everyone can enjoy.

Boxer Sweeney – It’s drawings. It’s great drawings. I always wonder what is going to come up next.

That’s it. I have fulfilled the requirements of receiving the Versatile Blogger Award. I enjoy reading a bunch of blogs and wish I could have listed them all. Again, I thank Chandler Swain Reviews for the honors. I also want to thank everyone who takes the time to read this blog. Mr. V thanks you, as well.

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When I Am Elected King…

4 Sep

Throwing chewing gum on the ground will be a federal offense.

Gambling will be legalized in every state.

John Wayne’s birthday will be a holiday, and everyone will be required to watch one of his movies.

People will be required to read at least one book per year.

Time will not fall back or spring ahead. It will stay the same throughout the year.

It's good to be the king.

It’s good to be the king.

Everyone will have the opportunity to see the Grand Canyon.

Country music singers will be required to stand behind a microphone to sing. Willie Nelson never jumped around, and they don’t have to, either.

AC/DC will play at my coronation.

American history will be a required area of study at all levels of education.

My motorcade will consist entirely of Camaros.

Smokey and the Bandit will be shown in theaters throughout the land.

Nick Saban will be banned from coaching college football.

The word “coupon” will be stricken from the English language.

When you slide your credit card into the gas pump, it will not ask you any other questions.

Hot Tamales will be the official candy of the nation.

I will let everyone know what has been going on at Area 51.

After all of that, I will get to work.

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A Post About Posts

10 Jun

I am always fascinated by what brings people to this blog and what they read when they arrive. Occasionally, I will go over to the stats page and see where the posts rank in viewership, and, the other day, I did just that. Some I knew would be there. Others were a little surprising.Eleven

“The Problem With Gas Pumps“, as it has for months, stands at the top of the list. In the early days of this blog, I wrote a sarcastic view of gas pumps and how they think we are imbeciles. For a long time, no one read it. Then, it hit big. This post controlled this blog for a long time, and I can’t figure out why.

“Into the Sunset” brought a huge surprise when it was Freshly Pressed. The idea for this one kicked around in my head for a few days before I wrote it. When I got around to it, there was no plan. I just typed. When I got the email that said it had been noticed, I sat there stunned.

“Victorian Brothelese” was another early post and covers my research topic in graduate school. I am sure you noticed the word brothel in the title. You can imagine the search terms that get people to this one.

At some point, I came up with the bright idea to look for movie quotes that provide life lessons. My first attempt at this was “Movie Wisdom – Burt Reynolds Edition“. I’m not sure people are looking for wisdom from Burt, but, from the search terms, I know there are a lot of fans of Smokey and the Bandit out there.

At another point, I decided to use our fascination with lists as a topic and came up with Listeria, a combination of List and Hysteria. Get it. Listeria. Anyway, two of those posts have hit the big time. The first is “Listeria – Gunslingers Edition“, and the second is “Listeria – Western Actors Edition“. There seems to be another theme there, as well.

“The Good, the Bad and the Presidential” gets a lot of hits from folks trying to find out which of our presidents was any good. I’m not sure that I can help them, but I have provided a handy list of who I think was any good.

One of my personal favorites is “Dirty Deeds and Thunder Chief“, an examination of lyrics that people get wrong. You would be surprised at how many people search for the exact words in the title. Perhaps, I should write a fictional biography of Thunder Chief and throw them off track.

Another favorite is “Sometimes It’s a Western, Sometimes It’s a Porno“. I love the search terms that bring people to this one. I didn’t realize that were so many people wanting Western themed porn. Honestly, the porn studios are missing a real opportunity here. Unfortunately, this post isn’t what they are looking for.

One of the best experiences of my life was meeting a man named Tom Drake, and I wrote about it in “The Cullman Comet“. This is a post that I would like everyone to read. Truly, he is an interesting man.

Finally, another early post has worked its way toward the top. “A Requiem for Josey Wales” is an examination of one of my favorite movies. For years, my mom complained because my father, my brother and I watched it every time it came on television. Then, she watched it and liked it. This is a movie that should be required viewing for every human.

Those are the titles at the top of the charts. It’s probably cheesy to link a bunch of posts like that, but, from a personal view, it’s interesting to see what draws people to this blog. It looks like these are the ones.

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Play It Pretty for Atlanta

16 Apr

This weekend, I did something that I never envisioned doing. I went to market, the industry name for a women’s clothing convention. My fiance, owner of Beauty Boutique, needed to attend because that’s what boutique owners do. I needed to go because, well, I just wanted to. Life is full of experiences, and this would probably be an interesting one.

Shockingly, we got a late start, but, once we hit the road, it was smooth sailing. Actually, there was one rough patch. When we crossed Monteagle Mountain, I serenaded her with the theme from Smokey and the Bandit. She laughed hysterically and wrote about it on Facebook. Did I mention that I hate Facebook?

My sentiments exactly.

My sentiments exactly.

We arrived in Atlanta, and, after some fancy driving on my part, we made it to the hotel. She immediately wanted to head to market to check in and browse before they closed for the day. I had no idea what to expect, but I felt like that I had walked into the cantina on Tatooine at closing time.

The girls all get prettier at closing time.

The girls all get prettier at closing time.

There was some strange-looking creatures hanging around, and they all looked worn out. That’s not totally correct because there were some fair looking creatures there, too. However, they looked just as tired.

We went back to the hotel and started wondering about dinner. We didn’t want to venture too far out, so I looked up the hotel restaurants. That’s when my eyes bugged out. The lower level of our hotel housed Trader Vic’s. I only knew two things about Trader Vic’s. It is a hangout for werewolves who like pina coladas, and I had to go there.

I didn’t see any werewolves. However, I felt like I had walked into a 1950s postcard from Hawaii. I don’t even have the words to explain this surreal experience. Imagine getting swallowed up in a song by The Ventures and being served an umbrella drink. That’s Trader Vic’s.

How can you go wrong with a menu with this cover?

How can you go wrong with a menu with this cover?

The next day, we got up bright and early for market, and it was a completely different experience. The cantina crowd was ready to go and buyers from stores throughout the nation were cramming the aisles between the booths. They had everything that a woman could possibly wear, and there was a thousand varieties of each item. Heck, there were ten stories filled with stuff. As a crowd watcher instead of a buyer, I started to figure out the difference between the serious buyers and the sightseers. I could also pick out the guys who were doing the exact same thing that I was.

However, that was just the appetizer for what I really wanted to see, the runway fashion show. I couldn’t wait to see a bunch of models strut their stuff on the catwalk. I wasn’t disappointed because they looked like I imagined. But, there was a problem. There was a woman in front of me wearing cat ears, and she was blocking my view. I promise that there is nothing worse than sitting behind a woman wearing cat ears at a fashion show.

After the show, we needed to eat. There wasn’t much around, so we ended up at The Hard Rock Cafe. The cheeseburger and 80s videos were great, but there was another form of entertainment. Atlanta’s version of The Amazing Race was going on. Some teams were taking it serious, and other teams were coming into the bar to get drunk. After this much activity, I needed a nap.

I slept most of the afternoon and woke up hungry. I didn’t want Trader Vic’s or a cheeseburger.  I wanted something good. Not knowing anything about Atlanta dining, we searched for Atlanta’s best restaurants and found Rathbun’s. I have written about Nashville’s booming food scene and know that we have some great restaurants. Rathbun’s would fit right in. The duck breast was awesome but not as good as the appetizer. If you ever go to Rathbun’s, then you have to get the Pan Fried Kefalotiri Cheese. It’s the most awesome thing ever.

Yesterday, we packed up to head home but not before going to Lenox Square Mall. I have heard of people going to Atlanta just to shop, and now I know why. It’s a cool mall. Wait, I went to Atlanta just to shop didn’t I? Weird. Anyway, we drove back to Tennessee and crossed Monteagle Mountain once again. This time I just hummed.

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A Southern Legend

4 Oct

A few weeks ago, I was making a late night drive from Atlanta to my home in Tennessee. This trip requires taking Interstate 75 before veering onto Interstate 24 in Chattanooga. Just north of Chattanooga the road crosses a steep ridge known as Monteagle. The route up the ridge is relatively straight, but the way down is winding to say the least. It’s steep, curvy and takes concentration to get to the bottom safely.

I like the drive because it is fun and because it always brings to mind a story that I heard as a kid. It is the story of a truck driver who became a legend while delivering a load from Atlanta to Tennessee. Some people compare his story to those of John Henry and Jesse James – real people whose stories are clouded in song, myth and the need for heroes.

The year was 1963, and the driver hit the climb at Monteagle in a driving thunderstorm. I imagine the going was slow up the ridge because trucks have difficulty there on a good day. Heck, they say he couldn’t even see the passing lane. He probably stopped at the town on top of the ridge to take a break and get out of the storm. However, the load needed to be delivered.

As he started down the mountain, the rain had not let up, and the driver realized that he needed to gear down. He missed his gear and hit the breaks as the truck started to speed up. The breaks didn’t have air, and the truck driver realized that he was in trouble. However, more trouble was ahead as the trailer jack-knifed.

Now, he was going down Monteagle backwards with no breaks and in a driving rainstorm. He flew by cars and trucks. Later, the drivers of those vehicles reported that he had his head out the window and was yelling for everyone to get out-of-the-way.

Finally, he made it safely to the bottom, and people gathered around to ask him how he had gotten down the ridge. His reply has gone down in southern lore – “Folks, when the truck picked up too much speed I just run along beside it and drug my feet.”

It wasn’t long before word of this feat spread through the trucking world, and he became known as the driver with ice water running in his veins. They say he had a foot like lead and nerves like steel. With this newfound fame, the driver was paid to attend truck driving rodeos throughout the south and, honestly, became a shell of his former self.

Fifteen years after his experience on Monteagle, the driver was offered the chance to make another legendary run. The trick was that he had to drive from Atlanta to Texarkana and pick up a load of Coors. Then, he had to return to Atlanta within 24 hours. It was an impossible run that included breaking bootlegging laws. However, being the driver that he was, the bet was not going to be turned down.

The truck driver’s real name was Bo Darville, but in legend he is known by his CB handle, The Bandit. A southern legend, his story has been remembered in cinema and song.

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Movie Wisdom – Burt Reynolds Edition

30 May

A couple of blogging ideas popped into my mind over the weekend, and I decided to smash them together to form a semi-regular series of posts.

First, I went on a quick trip to Chattanooga, which isn’t too far away, and crossed Monteagle Mountain along the way. Those not from Tennessee may not know about Monteagle, but it is one of the great spots in our state. It is also where the Bandit gained his notoriety. Don’t know what Bandit I am talking about? Well, there is only one Bandit, and that is the one played by Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit. According to the opening song, the Bandit became famous when he safely steered his jack-knifed truck down Monteagle.

As I crossed the mountain, I started thinking about a blog of my favorite Burt Reynolds movies.

Then, I published a post that included a profound line from one of my favorite movies. I have done this before and have noticed that it has become a habit in my blogging/tweeting life. With that in mind, I started thinking about a post of movie quotes that could also be used as guidance in our daily lives. It seems that screenwriters can be quite clever when given time to come up with something.

With those two ideas running through my mind, I came to the smash idea where I will take movie stars and list the “life guidance” quotes from their films. The quotes may be profound, funny, or just plain dumb. The common denominator is that I think they are great lines and can be useful in some way.

Before the listing begins, there are a few rules.

1. I must have seen the movie.

2. Each movie must include the mentioned movie star (although they may not be the one that says the line).

So, here goes with movie wisdom from Burt Reynolds movies.

From Deliverance

“Sometimes you have to lose yourself ‘fore you can find anything.”

“If you hit any rocks don’t hit ’em with your head.”

From White Lightning

“I was born ready.”

“The good, they die young.”

“Only two things in the world I’m scared of – women and the police.”

From The Longest Yard (The original. Not the Adam Sandler crap.)

“Shaving points off a football game. Man, that’s un-American.”

“I’ve always had my shit together. Always. My problem’s been I couldn’t lift it.”

From Smokey and the Bandit

“If you’re gonna hang out in places like this wear a badge on your didey.”

“Cowboys love fat calves.”

“I guess a legend and an out of work bum look a lot alike.”

“I take my hat off for one thing. One thing only.”

“When you tell somebody somethin’, it depends on what part of the United States you’re standin’ in as to just how dumb you are.”

From Smokey and the Bandit II

“When you raid a cathouse, you take the piano player, too.”

From The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

“I started out poor, and I worked my way up to outcast.”

From Striptease

“I don’t need no stripper to tell me how to live.”

From Boogie Nights

“What do you expect when you’re on top? You know? It’s like Napoleon. When he was king, you know, people were just constantly trying to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire. So, it’s history repeating itself all over again.”

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