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From Sports Illustrated to The Old Farmer’s Almanac

24 Dec

This is another one of those nights when I don’t have anything to write about. I thought about an expose on Duck Dynasty and the dangers of turning a real person into a television character, but I have heard enough about that topic. All I know is that I don’t agree with the opinions of most of the people around me.

Last night, my mind was running crazy with ideas to blog about. There was this movie character that I was going to compare to a person in my town. Then, I remembered how many people in my town read the blog. I also thought about writing about our dinner at a local establishment. In fact, that could be a future one.

Heck, I even thought about listing a bunch of stuff that I like. One day, I was driving down the road when I came upon a bridge. Out of the blue, I said, “I like bridges.” The lady who was with me said that I sounded like Forrest Gump. It’s true. I like bridges. That’s just the way it is.

As I sat down at the computer, I considered writing about the emails that we get from students when the semester is over, but I have already written about that. It’s usually over by down, but I am still getting emails about grades on Christmas Eve.

Of course, I could write about my current treadmill book. It is Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. No Country for Old Men and The Road have already been scratched off my McCarthy list. They were both made into great movies, and I think this one would make a great movie, too. It would be one of the bloodiest and most realistic Westerns ever made. I am proud to say that McCarthy is a Tennessee guy.

Those are all things that could be written about, but I’m not going to do any of those. Instead, I am going to list some of the things that are on my desk.

There is the latest copy of Sports Illustrated.Sports Illustrated

Next to it is a box of dry erase markers.

A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond is underneath there somewhere.

My grade book is out for those emails that I have been getting.

There is even a couple of VHS tapes.

There is a tape measure sitting on top of a book called John Henry: The Doc Holliday Story. It was written by Ben Traywick, native of Watertown, Tennessee and official historian of Tombstone, Arizona.

Sunglasses and a stapler are butted up against each other.

Beside them are a couple of lottery tickets that didn’t pay off.

My trusty iPhone is next to my trusty calculator. I know. The phone has a calculator, too. I don’t care because I like the old-fashioned kind.

There is a stack of bills and a newspaper clipping from the Civil War.

A little further away sits the 2014 issue of The Old Farmer’s Almanac.Almanac

If you want to get smarter, then you need to pick up a copy. It’s full of all kinds of great information. For example, November 25, my birthday, is one of the best days to set posts or pour concrete.

That’s the stuff that’s on my desk, and that’s also the reason my wife keeps telling me that I need to clean it.

Elvis Presley and the Perpetuation of a Myth

3 Dec

The other day, I mentioned that there was a semi-serious post floating in my brain. Today, I am going to get it out of there. A couple of weeks ago The Tennessean, Nashville’s daily newspaper, printed an article about an activist who was going to be speaking in the area.

In the article, readers learned that the activist had a great deal of respect for Dolly Parton because of the singer’s work to improve the lives of children and others. They also learned that she had no respect for Elvis Presley, who she saw as someone who could have done more for his times and his community.Elvis Gate

That’s fine. We all have opinions about what people should and should not be doing. Many feel that the famous have a responsibility of using that fame for the betterment of the world. Dolly does a lot, and Elvis probably didn’t do enough. However, the writer continued with her disdain for Elvis by saying that he was racist. Her proof was that he had once said, “The only thing Negroes can do for me is buy my records and shine my shoes.”

When I read it, something in the back of my mind said that it wasn’t right. I couldn’t explain what was nagging at me, but I just didn’t think that was an accurate quote. That’s when I hit Google and was directed to Snopes. According the them, Elvis never made that statement and referenced Michael Bertrand as the historian who discovered where this urban legend began.

That’s when I knew where that nagging feeling was coming from. Dr. Bertrand teaches at Tennessee State University and spoke to the History Club at our university. He and I had a great conversation about the early years of Rock n’ Roll, but this information came from his presentation to the group. He tracked the origin of this tale to a magazine article in which an anonymous person on the street said that someone told them that Elvis had said that. Through the years, many people have heard it and taken it as fact.

Why am I writing about a long dead singer being misquoted in a newspaper? Because the newspaper and the activist being interviewed should know better. (Note: While working on this post, I discovered that the quote was taken out of the original article, and a follow-up article admitted to the falsehood of the quote.) It is one thing for misinformation to circulate, but people who are trained to research and write shouldn’t go with something they think might be true.

I am also writing about it because historians have to deal with this kind of misinformation all of the time. Surely, you have heard that Catherine the Great died while having sex with a horse. It’s not true, but everyone thinks it is. You have also heard that George Washington could not tell a lie. That probably made his espionage efforts during the Revolutionary War hard to manage. That’s despite being one of the best parts of his strategy.

It is hard to get to the reality of history. It is especially hard when people have misinformation about it already in their minds. All of this is made worse when a reputable newspaper interviews a reputable activist, and they spread the misinformation further.

She is probably correct. Elvis could have done more during his life to make the world better. Instead, he fell into a life of extravagance and drugs. There are many lessons to be learned from the Elvis story but adding wrong information only makes those lessons harder to learn.

I Can’t Believe It’s Been Two Years

1 Nov

Two years ago, I started this blog, and it’s really hard to believe. I just went back and looked at the first post. To say the least, it’s not very good. It’s so bad that I am not even going to link it. The writing isn’t great, and it is obvious that I knew nothing about blogging. For instance, I spent the entire post introducing myself before realizing that there was an About page for all of that. It was a lot longer before I realized that putting pictures in a post helps out a lot.Two Years

It doesn’t feel like I have been going this for two years. My parents used to tell me that time goes by faster as we get older. I didn’t believe it, but I do now. My blogging time has definitely flown by, and it has also brought some big changes. Since I began blogging, I have gotten married. I went from a confirmed bachelor who lived by himself to a man with a wife, stepdaughter and a dog. The dog is a girl. too. I am surrounded by females, and I love it.

I haven’t really thought about what to write in this anniversary post. Usually, something pops into my mind, and I put it on the screen before I forget about it. Nothing good has come to mind, so I am going to dig into my stats and see what has been going on.

Since the first anniversary of this blog, the following things have happened.

Surrounded by Imbeciles has been viewed most by people in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, India, Australia, France, Germany, Spain, Italy and the Netherlands.

It has been viewed the least by people in Qatar, Aruba, Uruguay, Mozambique, Guatemala, Papua New Guinea, Jordan, Mali, Bangladesh and Uganda.

The people who have made their way to Surrounded by Imbeciles have mostly read the following posts.

The Problem With Gas Pumps – This one carried the blog for a long time as people hit it constantly. However, it hasn’t been viewed in a while.

Into the Sunset – This is the one who got me Freshly Pressed. I just threw it out there without thinking and ended up getting hits all over the place.

Movie Wisdom – Burt Reynolds Edition – You would be surprised how many people want to know what Burt Reynolds said in his movies.

Listeria – Gunslingers Edition – Who was the fastest gun in the West?

Listeria- Western Actors Edition – They say Westerns aren’t popular anymore. I beg to differ.

Sometimes It’s a Western, Sometimes It’s a Porno – This is actually about something at work. However, people search for “western pornos” all of the time.

Victorian Brothelese – All you ever needed to know about the whorearchy.

The Great Pumpkin Carving Escapade – This one has climbed the charts in the past week.

Dirty Deeds and Thunder Chief – I bet you never heard this song by AC/DC.

The Cullman Comet – One of my favorite posts, this is about my meeting with Tom Drake, who has lived a very interesting life.

Before I go celebrate all of this blogging with a big glass of cran-grape juice, I also want to link two posts that I am really proud of. They haven’t gotten many views, and I am going to advertise them as much as possible.

The Smell of Cape Jasmine is an exploration of one of my favorite songs, and A Southern Legend is about an almost true southern legend. I hope you check them out.

V for Versatile

29 Oct

I was going to start this blog by writing a paragraph filled with letters that begin with the letter V. However, I can’t think of enough, so I will just put up a picture of this guy.Vendetta

This is happening because I was awarded the Versatile Blogger Award by one of my favorite blogs, Chandler Swain Reviews. If you like movies (and who doesn’t like movies?), then you need to head over and check it out. Heck, he may have a review for the above photographed Mr. V.

I really appreciate the award and want to publicly thank CSR for reading this blog and sharing it with his many readers.

This award comes with several rules that should be followed. First, I am to provide a link to the presenter of the award. Mission accomplished.

Next, I am to display the award.Versatile

Isn’t it beautiful? Now, I am to list seven things about me that could be considered interesting.

1. When I was a youngster, I got lost in Sequoia National Park.

2. I don’t like peaches, but I love fried peach pies.

3. I have traveled to each of the 50 states.

4. Late one night, I fell asleep standing up.

5. I am pretty sure that I have the entire script of Smokey and the Bandit memorized.

6. I own a miniaturized replica of Mayberry, North Carolina.

7. I love my wife, and I hope she makes it this far into the post to read that.

Here’s the important part. I am to name 15 other blogs to receive the Versatile Blogger Award.

Trask Avenue – I have been reading about the street side activities at Trask for a long time. You need to see what’s happening on the corner.

Front Range Scribbles – Colorado has a music scene, and everything you need to know about it is right here.

Satanic Panic – Another great site about music, and the name of the blog is awesome.

Thoughts From The West Five – This has to be the most versatile blog being produced in Great Britain. We have been reading each other’s stuff for a long time.

Paint Later – This is a view of the art world from the Land Down Under. Don’t paint later. Paint now.

Senior Moments – These are some good Tennessee folks, and they do a lot of traveling. Go on over and read about their adventures.

Manu Kurup – This has to be the most versatile blog being produced in India. Some great writing is coming out of this one.

Dying Note – Another blog about music, this writer must live a mysterious existence. For awhile, they will disappear. Then, they are back with a vengeance. Go check it out.

Guapola – Hey, another music blog. I hope Guapola isn’t taking payola.

Cole Mining – This mine is filled with nuggets of wisdom and great writing.

Serendipity – A blog by two very interesting people. When you read it, I think you will agree.

Hasty Words – For some really creative writing, this is the place to go.

Carl D’Agostino – The cartoons always make me laugh and always make my day.

I should have numbered these. I keep losing track of how many I have listed.

The Nashville Fork – This one is produced by a co-worker. It’s about the food scene in and around Nashville. I know a lot of you don’t live around here, but there are also some great recipes that everyone can enjoy.

Boxer Sweeney – It’s drawings. It’s great drawings. I always wonder what is going to come up next.

That’s it. I have fulfilled the requirements of receiving the Versatile Blogger Award. I enjoy reading a bunch of blogs and wish I could have listed them all. Again, I thank Chandler Swain Reviews for the honors. I also want to thank everyone who takes the time to read this blog. Mr. V thanks you, as well.

Categorically

30 Jul

We just finished walking around the neighborhood. As we did, I noticed a man through a window. He was working at his desk, and I began to wonder what he was working on. Was he writing the next great novel? Was he writing a letter? Was he blogging? At the moment, I am sitting by a window, and people are probably looking in and wondering what I am doing.

I like to think that people like what they read here. It’s a hodgepodge of stuff, but it comes right out of my head. Sometimes, It’s travel. Sometimes, it’s music. Sometimes, its stories from the past. All the time, it’s something that is stuck in my mind and needs to get out.

I am not sure what needs to get out tonight, so I will just go down the list of categories on this blog and type this first thing that fits.Scattergories

Academics – School starts back soon. That means inservice.

Agriculture – The other day, I got gas at the Farmer’s Co-Op.

Art – There is a guy named Art who works at Beauty Boutique, Necole’s store.

Biography – The last one I read wasn’t very good, It was about Ward Bond, John Ford and John Wayne. It should have been good.

Books – I just finished The Eye of God by James Rollins. It is the further adventures of Grayson Pierce.

Childhood Memories – Tonight, I mentioned that my parents had a Weeping Willow in their front yard, and I used to play under it.

Comedy – Nothing is funny, at the moment.

Community – I was named to the local Planning Commission. This afternoon was my first meeting.

Crime – Tonight, I found out that a guy I once knew tried to kidnap his wife and lock her in a closet. Hopefully, he will get what’s coming to him.

Did You Know? – I forgot about this category. It needs to be revisited.

Dining – Tonight, we had a home cooked meal of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese and green peas.

Dreams – Lately, my dreams have been less than memorable.

Government – Necole went to the DMV this morning. There is no reason they should be that slow.

History – I am getting my lecture voice warmed up.

Movies – We watched Batman Begins, and I realized that the guy who plays Joffrey on Game of Thrones was in it.

Music – We have a couple of concerts coming up – Don Williams and The Eagles.

Nature – There’s a great article about sugar in the latest National Geographic. Everyone should read it.

Photography – In a few days, we are getting more wedding photos made.

Rambling Ruminations – I think that is what this post is all about.

Relationships – I’m married.

Religion – I would like to write about it more, but a few things are better left unsaid.

Sports – College football is about to start, and my team, the University of Tennessee, is in the Southeastern Conference. However, you’ll never hear me chant S-E-C. I cheer for one team and hope the other ones lose every week.

Stupid Stuff – It’s an accurate description of this post.

Television – I’m waiting for Justified to crank back up.

Therapy – I used to go. I don’t anymore.

Travel – We just returned from California and will be heading to Arizona soon.

Writing – Am I the only person who doesn’t mess with those writing prompts?

A Post About Posts

10 Jun

I am always fascinated by what brings people to this blog and what they read when they arrive. Occasionally, I will go over to the stats page and see where the posts rank in viewership, and, the other day, I did just that. Some I knew would be there. Others were a little surprising.Eleven

The Problem With Gas Pumps“, as it has for months, stands at the top of the list. In the early days of this blog, I wrote a sarcastic view of gas pumps and how they think we are imbeciles. For a long time, no one read it. Then, it hit big. This post controlled this blog for a long time, and I can’t figure out why.

Into the Sunset” brought a huge surprise when it was Freshly Pressed. The idea for this one kicked around in my head for a few days before I wrote it. When I got around to it, there was no plan. I just typed. When I got the email that said it had been noticed, I sat there stunned.

Victorian Brothelese” was another early post and covers my research topic in graduate school. I am sure you noticed the word brothel in the title. You can imagine the search terms that get people to this one.

At some point, I came up with the bright idea to look for movie quotes that provide life lessons. My first attempt at this was “Movie Wisdom – Burt Reynolds Edition“. I’m not sure people are looking for wisdom from Burt, but, from the search terms, I know there are a lot of fans of Smokey and the Bandit out there.

At another point, I decided to use our fascination with lists as a topic and came up with Listeria, a combination of List and Hysteria. Get it. Listeria. Anyway, two of those posts have hit the big time. The first is “Listeria – Gunslingers Edition“, and the second is “Listeria – Western Actors Edition“. There seems to be another theme there, as well.

The Good, the Bad and the Presidential” gets a lot of hits from folks trying to find out which of our presidents was any good. I’m not sure that I can help them, but I have provided a handy list of who I think was any good.

One of my personal favorites is “Dirty Deeds and Thunder Chief“, an examination of lyrics that people get wrong. You would be surprised at how many people search for the exact words in the title. Perhaps, I should write a fictional biography of Thunder Chief and throw them off track.

Another favorite is “Sometimes It’s a Western, Sometimes It’s a Porno“. I love the search terms that bring people to this one. I didn’t realize that were so many people wanting Western themed porn. Honestly, the porn studios are missing a real opportunity here. Unfortunately, this post isn’t what they are looking for.

One of the best experiences of my life was meeting a man named Tom Drake, and I wrote about it in “The Cullman Comet“. This is a post that I would like everyone to read. Truly, he is an interesting man.

Finally, another early post has worked its way toward the top. “A Requiem for Josey Wales” is an examination of one of my favorite movies. For years, my mom complained because my father, my brother and I watched it every time it came on television. Then, she watched it and liked it. This is a movie that should be required viewing for every human.

Those are the titles at the top of the charts. It’s probably cheesy to link a bunch of posts like that, but, from a personal view, it’s interesting to see what draws people to this blog. It looks like these are the ones.

Meeting Max Evans

9 Jun

Recently, I returned from our annual field trip to New Mexico, and, as always, it brought some great experiences and memories. We operate on a strict schedule, but something unexpected always happens. One year, we met the tribal judge of the Nambe Pueblo at IHOP, and she invited us to visit her courtroom. Another year, we stumbled into a Mother’s Day celebration at the San Ildephonso Pueblo and were invited to stick around.

A couple of trips ago, I bought a statue of Billy the Kid at the Shidoni Gallery. It turned out to be the last one, which meant the artist had to approve the sale. The next year, we were exploring Ghost Ranch and started talking some people. As it turns out, one of them was the artist who made my sculpture, and he was very interested to meet the person who had bought the last one.

This year, we arrived in Santa Fe on Friday and headed to the plaza to take advantage of free admission to the museums. The New Mexico History Museum is one of the best I have seen, and we wanted the students to go through it before we went on our daily tours. Usually, they walk around, and I hang around to answer questions. However, I wanted to do some of my own exploring. Upstairs, they had a special exhibit on cowboys, both real and imagined.

In the lobby, I saw an elderly couple, and the man was dressed to the hilt as a cowboy. I figured they were there for the exhibit and really thought that when I heard the woman say she was wondering if they would see anyone they knew.

A student and I went into the exhibit, and it was great. There were artifacts and photographs that offered a sense of what true cowboys did. As the exhibit continued, it ventured into the realm of the cowboy myth with tales of wild west shows, rodeos, dime novels and movies.

I looked at all of these things, but I also watched the elderly couple being escorted through the exhibit by a museum employee. That’s when I began to think that maybe this man was depicted in the exhibit or had donated some of the artifacts.

Toward the end of the display, there were movie posters and clips from some classic westerns. My eye was immediately drawn to Chisum, and I told the student that she had to watch that clip. Before she could pick up the headphones to listen, the museum employee spoke to us.

“I would like to introduce you to someone.”

He motioned to the elderly man in the cowboy hat.

“This is Max Evans. He wrote that.”

As the man said this, he pointed to the movie poster of The Hi-Lo Country. We were standing in the presence of a great western writer. Honestly, Mr. Evans didn’t seem interested in talking to us, as he began to mosey away. That’s alright because I was still happy to meet him.

A few minutes later, we found out that they were screening The Hi-Lo Country that night, and he was going to answer questions about his work. We went to the theater, and I took a very dark picture.

Max Evans is in the white hat.

Max Evans is in the white hat.

I wish we could have stayed around for the screening, but, as I said, we operate on a strict schedule. I have never seen The Hi-Lo Country, but I will now.

Outdoor Blogging About Lightning Bugs and Time Travel

6 Jun

Tonight, I am doing something a little different. Instead of sitting at my desk or at the breakfast table, I am blogging on the deck. Dusk is my favorite part of the day. It’s that time between dark and light when you can see but not see. It’s that time when the shadows begin to echo with the noises of the night. It’s that time that I like to imagine vampires waking from their sleep. With all that going on, I need to experience it and not be shielded by the artificial lights of the house.

Actually, I’m not a big fan of artificial lights. I keep my office dark, and, when I am able, I keep my house dark, too. For some reason, things just seem more interesting when they can barely be seen. That’s probably why they keep the lights dim at strip clubs.

Here I am sitting on the deck, and I really notice the noises. I hear the neighbors talking on their deck. I wonder if people realize how far sound travels. I hear birds in the woods behind the house. I hear crickets chirping, one of the most lonesome sounds in the world. There is a dog barking in the distance.

When I was a kid, we played a game. Whoever saw the first lightning bug would win a prize. It could have been a soft drink or an extra thirty minutes before going to bed. Seeing the first lightning bug always seemed to be a moment of passage. In my mind, that’s when day truly turned into night. I just saw the first lightning bug, so it is night, now.Lightning Bug

I feel the urge to get up and catch one. That was also a fun game. Catch one and let it glow in your hand. It’s probably weird, but I also tried to find patterns in their mass blinking.

The neighbor just yelled, “Cold beer!” That’s one way to spend a relaxing evening. I’m not a big fan of beer, however. When I was younger, I hated it. Then, someone told me that I had to acquire a taste for it. That didn’t make sense. If I had to learn to like something, then why would I want it in the first place? There are other choices of adult beverages that taste better.Jack Daniels Logo

The light of my computer screen is attracting bugs. It’s always good to be typing and something is crawling along with the cursor.

It really is a nice evening. The trees are swaying in the breeze. Someone down the street is mowing their lawn. For me, it is a night for contemplating. When that happens, I think about the distant future. I guess that’s strange for someone who studies the past for a living. I tend to think of it as future history. What will historians of the future find when they look back? What will my house look like? Will it still be here? Will this be one of those neighborhoods of old homes like we have now? How big will the trees be? Will there be a George Jetson car pulling into the driveway?George Jetson

I don’t know, but I wonder. That’s why people have always been fascinated with time travel. We want to know what we, deep down, realize that we can never know.

Anyway, that’s what happens when I blog outdoors.

Tangled Up in the Schneid

23 Feb

When people think of men playing slow pitch softball, a few images might pop into their heads. A bunch of non-athletic guys hobbling around and drinking beer. A church league where there are a lot of swings and misses. An intramural league in college where the athletics team up to dominate everyone else.

That may be what people think about, but I grew up in a different kind of game. My dad sponsored a professional men’s slow pitch softball team, and we played at the highest levels of the sport. We flew throughout the country to play in the biggest tournaments and had players at the peak of their athletic form. When I try to describe how good these guys were, people can’t believe that most of the players could hit softballs out of baseball stadiums.

(Time for a little bragging. In recent years, my dad, his manager and four of his players have been inducted into the Tennessee Softball Hall of Fame.)

We played in a lot of big games, but a game was truly important when Ray Molphy, the Voice of Softball, was announcing the game.Ray Molphy

I can vividly remember playing under the lights on a Saturday night with thousands of people around the field. Ray’s voice would be booming through the air as he announced the game. While he didn’t take sides, Ray told me privately that he was also pulling for us. Our budget wasn’t as large as the teams we were playing, so we were a perpetual underdog that made sure our opponent was in for a fight.

Like all good announcers, Ray had catchphrases that everyone recognized.

If a player had hit for a single and a home run, then he had hit for “the minimum and the maximum”.

When a team was coming up to bat in an inning, the first batter was in the box; the second batter was on deck; and, the third batter was “lurking in the shadows”.

If a player had not yet gotten a hit, then he was “tangled up in the schneid”.

I have been thinking about Ray’s lines because I feel that I am tangled up in the blogging schneid. I am having a hard time coming up with anything that is interesting or original. My posts are lacking something that I can’t put my finger on. It just feels that there is something missing.

When a player stepped to the plate and heard Ray talking about the schneid, they would react a couple of ways. One, they would get mad and make it worse. Two, they would use it for motivation to get a hit. I don’t know which way I am going to react, but, right now, I feel like the schneid is all over me.

Secrets Revealed

3 Feb

Those who have read this blog from its creation know why it came into being. I created it, and, as the number of posts grew, people began to read and some began to follow. I didn’t tell anyone in my personal life about the blog, but it wasn’t like I was keeping a deep, dark secret. It just didn’t occur to me as something to share. I lived my life, and, sometimes, I would get on my computer and write.

Today, I told my girlfriend about the blog. I know. It’s terrible that I didn’t tell the person closest to me. That’s why I told her. People all over the world read my words, and I wanted her to read my words, too. After all, many of the posts have been about my adventures with her.

So, today a secret was revealed, and it made me feel kind of like this guy.

Deep Throat

Deep Throat

With that being said, I welcome my girlfriend as a new reader of Surrounded by Imbeciles. I hope you like reading it as much as I like writing it.