The Stuff Staring Back at Me

25 Jun

The moving process began this evening, and a lot of things have been added to this humble abode. However, the moving has also dug up some old things that I haven’t seen in a while. The office has become a dumping ground until we can figure out where everything goes, and, as I sit here, a a lot of stuff is staring back at me.

One interesting item is a photograph of me and my dad with Al Gore. It was at a fundraiser when he ran for president back in 2000. Of course, that was an interesting election, and a lot of focus was placed on Florida and its hanging chads. People forget that Gore lost his “home” state of Tennessee. In my mind, that is what cost him the presidency. Around here, people know how that happened, but the national pundits never really paid attention to that.Electoral Map

There is also a paper bag full of old pictures. I think they are of me in my younger days. At least, that’s what my mom says. I haven’t looked at them. For someone who likes to study the past of others, I’m not too crazy about dealing with my own.

Do you remember when they used to sell Time-Life collections on television? There was one called The Old West, and each volume contained information about a different aspect of history. “The Miners”. “The Gamblers”. “The Ranchers”. The ads would say, “John Wesley Hardin once shot a man for snoring.”John Wesley Hardin

The commercials were cool. Now, I have the complete set. Those commercials could have started me on the path to be a historian.

There is also a decorative coffee mug depicting a fox hunting scene. It has the dogs, the red jackets and everything.

I’m looking at a dream catcher, a folding chair, a globe with pastel colored countries. There is even a couple of vent filters.

It’s amazing what people accumulate. I think that our stuff becomes part of who we are. I suppose that’s what archaeologists are here for. They look at the stuff of people to determine the essence of people. It makes one wonder what a future archaeologist will think about us. Do today’s archeologists get it right? Will the future archaeologists get it right? Someone digging into my stuff would think that I voted for Al Gore. They shouldn’t be so sure about that.

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From a House to a Home

24 Jun

I think I moved into this house in 2000, but I’m not really sure. It’s probably strange that I don’t remember the exact year, and it’s probably more strange that I remember the building process vividly. My brother built the house, and I remember meeting with him. I remember checking each day to see how much work had been done. I really remember picking out the shutters.Shutters

That process sticks out to me because my girlfriend hated shutters. We had dated for a couple of years when I decided to build, and she naturally thought that it was for both of us. Maybe, I thought the same thing, but reality hit when I decided to go with the shutters. She took it as a sign that it was my house instead of our house, and, honestly, she was right. Our relationship was never the same after that, and she broke up with me several months later.

That was the way this house began and has continued to be. It has been a house. It has been my house. It has not been a home. The refrigerator is famous for its emptiness. The rest of the kitchen has been used as an office. The garbage collectors like it because they never have to stop. Heck, it was a couple of years before I had furniture. There was a bed, a chair, a television. Basically, it was stuff that came from my old apartment.

A later girlfriend said that I lived in a museum. She was able to say that because she was one of the few girlfriends to see it. Most of the people I have dated rarely came to my house because I spent a lot of time at their places. They were in Nashville, and the excuse was that there was nothing to do in my town. I may as well come to them. In reality, I wanted a separate sphere that I thought of as a sanctuary.

At times, it has been a sanctuary. Coming home to an empty house has its benefits. The solitude is refreshing after a day with dozens of students. You can do what you want without bothering anyone else. Heck, you can even walk around naked if you want.

However, those same attributes can turn dark, as well. The quiet can be too quiet. The solitude can become loneliness. There is nothing worse than walking into an empty house after a terrible day. Actually, walking into an empty house after a breakup is worse. Those people who I didn’t allow into my house eventually faded away. I wasn’t sharing my life with them as much as I was visiting their lives for a while. It didn’t take long for them to figure that out, and they eventually faded away.

This house has seen a lot. It has seen people walk through its doors who wanted to stay, but they weren’t given the opportunity. It has seen escapades that are not appropriate for a blog that people under 18 may read. It has been empty in more ways than one, and it has been filled with stuff. It has been here through good days and bad nights. It has witnessed love and hate. However, through all of this the house has never been a home.Home Sweet Home

That is about to change. In a few weeks, I am getting married, and my soon-to-be wife and her daughter are moving in. There will be no more nights of solitude. There will be no more doing what I want when I want. There will definitely be no more walking around naked. But, there will be laughter and sadness and good times and bad times. The house will be filled with something besides stuff. It will be filled with a family.

My fiance’s daughter is worried because she thinks they are moving into my home. She thinks they will be like visitors. I don’t know how to explain it to her, but this place has never been my home. I am as much of a visitor as she is. I want her to realize that this house is only now becoming a home, and we are going to make it that way together.

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Twenty Thousand

22 Jun

I have been away from the blog for a few days and returned to find that it has gone over 20,000 views. I don’t know if it reached this number quickly or at a snails pace, but I know that I appreciate everyone who clicked on Surrounded by Imbeciles to read a few words. I hope that everyone has found something enjoyable in what they have read.

To celebrate reaching 20,000 views, this post is about a few “20,000” things.20,000

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea – This is an easy one. The classic novel by Jules Verne turned into a movie starring James Mason, Kirk Douglas, Peter Lorre, and a seal. However, it has actually been turned into a movie a lot of times.

The $20,000 Pyramid – One of many versions of the classic television game show. It was most famously hosted by Dick Clark and had contestants guessing categories by picking up clues from celebrities.

20,000 Days and Counting: A Crash Course in Your Life Right Now – This book by Robert D. Smith takes on the struggles of life and inspires people to succeed.

20,000 Patties Under the Sea – Obviously a play off the Jules Verne novel, this is an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. I don’t know what it is about, but I hope it involves Plankton.

Uprising of the 20,000 – In 1909, Jewish women who worked in shirtwaist factories went on strike. They gained better wages, working conditions and working hours.

20,000 Years in Sing Sing – Starring Spencer Tracy and Bette Davis, this 1932 movie is about a criminal who is sentenced to the the famous prison. The warden tries to help him. Do his efforts work?

That’s a few things connected to 20,000. Thanks for being one of the 20,000 that stopped by.

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Seeing Stars Once Again

18 Jun

A long time ago, I wrote a post about seeing famous people around town. It’s something that happens around here, and it happened again today.

My fiance and I were roaming around Nashville and went to Green Hills Mall, which sits in one of the more affluent parts of town. On the way, we were talking about Nicole Kidman, who has a residence here. Anyway, we made our way to the mall. She was browsing as I was playing with my phone. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed someone walk around the corner.

That’s when I turned to my fiance and said, “Speak of the devil.”

It was Nicole Kidman, the very person who we had been talking about. My fiance glanced up and continued shopping. I continued to play around with my phone. Essentially, we did everything we could not to stare. That was hard because the famous actress stopped right behind us to text someone.

Still, we were not going to gawk, and we were not alone. The people working the counter didn’t stare. The other shoppers didn’t stare. Although, I know they all wanted to. That’s not the way things are done around here. There are no paparazzi.Paparazzi

We leave stars alone to shop, eat, and whatever else they do. We wouldn’t want people staring at us every time we went out, and it’s only courteous that we don’t stare at them. I think that’s why famous people can be readily seen in Nashville. They are comfortable here because they can be regular for a while.

However, I must admit that when she turned her head and walked off we watched her leave. No matter how polite we want to be, it’s difficult to completely ignore Nicole Kidman.

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The Square: Root of Change

17 Jun

This past week, something happened in my town that brought little fanfare, but it is an example of how things change.

Seat’s Studio opened in 1915 and has been a fixture on the town square since then. I don’t know that it was the first photography studio in town, but I know that it was the longest lasting one. At some point, everyone had their picture taken at Seat’s, and I would imagine that they chronicled the images of several generations of families.

At least three generations of one family ran the business throughout its existence, but that existence ended a few days ago. The last owner said that he wanted to make it to 100 years, but that was not to be. Before closing, he contacted several people around town to tell them that he had photographs of them to pick up. There was one of my dad, but there were photographs of many dads.

There were also pictures of the town and how it has changed through the years. Change is the one thing that can’t be stopped. We know that from history, and we know that from our own lives. Change is good, but it also has casualties. Seat’s Studio was one of those.

It was killed by the change in technology. In today’s world, we don’t need to go to a studio to have pictures made. We can take them on digital cameras and use computers to make them look professionally done. There is no more need for a darkroom and someone who knows how to use it.

It was killed by the change in the landscape. At one time, the town square was the center of commerce. That’s where everyone went to do business. These days the square is filled with small law offices and a few long-time stores, like Seat’s Studio, that are trying to hang on. There was once an arcade, but it’s abandoned. There was once a grocery store, but it’s an office. There was once a courthouse, but it was torn down decades ago.Lebanon Square

Recently, there has been an effort to revitalize the town square. A few boutiques have opened, and the old movie theater has been going through years of renovation. A committee is trying to bring back some old glory by preserving the buildings and changing the traffic patterns. Unfortunately, some of the business owners are fighting those changes. The changes scare them, and I don’t blame them. Look at what happened to the studio. However, I believe that these changes may help them avoid that fate.

Our town square is the host of two worlds. During the day, it is the domain of lawyers, a few stores and the Chamber of Commerce. At night, it is the domain of teenage boys who sit around in their pickup trucks and try to attract girls. The owner of Seat’s Studio realized that none of those people were going to come in and have their pictures made.

Changes take place. Stores close. Towns and cities alter their landscapes. The people who have their pictures made pass away. Those changes are inevitable, but they are also sad. The only way to react to changes that are sad is to make changes that are positive. It’s too late for Seat’s Studio, but it is not too late for the square. It’s time for revitalization and a positive change.

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My iPod Has Issues – Part 5

14 Jun

Once again, it’s time to look into the psyche of my iPod. For those who don’t know, my iPod has split personalities. Sometimes it’s a punk rocker. Sometimes it’s a 50s crooner. Other times it sings the blues. Sometimes it plays songs that are known universally. Other times it plays songs so obscure that people wonder how they worked their way onto the list.

In short, it drives everyone crazy except me. In the past, I have shared some of the song titles to see if they drive you guys crazy, too. Here’s how this works. I put the iPod on random and list the first 20 songs that pop up. Afterwards, maybe you can play Sigmund Freud and help diagnose my iPod’s issues.Sigmund Freud

“Diga Diga Do” by The Mills Brothers

“Jackie Wilson Said” by Van Morrison

“The Wanderer” by Dion

“Rave On” by Buddy Holly and the Crickets

“It Takes a Lot to Laugh, It Takes a Train to Cry” by Bob Dylan

“Peaceful Easy Feeling” by The Eagles

“On Her Majesty’s Secret Service” by The Propellerheads

“Same Old Lang Syne” by Dan Fogelberg

“Look to Your Orb for the Warning” by Monster Magnet

“What Do You Want From Me?” by Pink Floyd

“Also Sprach Zarathustra” by Deodato

“Carefree Highway” by Gordon Lightfoot

“Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro

“Monty Got a Raw Deal” by R.E.M.

“Maybellene” by Chuck Berry

“Mama Feel Good” by Lyn Collins

“Lost Again” by Yello

“Du Hast” by Rammstein

“Spanish Key” by Miles Davis

“The Sunset” by Ennio Morricone

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I’ll Take Two Plastic Parrots

13 Jun

Last night, I was flipping through the channels when I came upon an interesting commercial. It was trying to get people to buy Chatty Patty, a plastic parrot that repeats what it hears.

Notice that it sits on a plastic limb, too.

Notice that it sits on a plastic limb, too.

This was the strangest commercial ever. People were talking into this parrot, and it was saying stuff back to them. This thing offers something to everyone.

For the people who can’t get their kids to clean their rooms, Chatty Patty can tell them to do it.

For the people who have low self-esteem, Chatty Patty can give them compliments.

For the construction worker who wants to whistle to a woman, Chatty Patty can whistle and take the blame.

Chatty Patty is truly a must have for everyone. In fact, if you buy one Chatty Patty, then you can get a second one for free. That’s what everyone needs. Two plastic parrots. However, this two plastic parrot made me think of something.

What happens if you have two of them in a room and you whisper something to one of them? Will one Chatty Patty repeat the other Chatty Patty? And, if the second Chatty Patty mimics the first one does the first one repeat it again?

I really think this would lead to Chatty Patty Infinity. They would say the same thing to each other forever and ever. It could be the torture technique of the future.

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What Are They Running From?

12 Jun

I see people running all the time. They run through the neighborhoods. They run around campus. When I go to Nashville, I see them running through the city. Men. Women. Kids. All shapes and sizes. People are constantly running.Road Runner

As I watch them go by, I ask myself, “What are they running from?”

I’m sure they are not being chased by a coyote using explosives made by the ACME Company. However, I have some theories about what they are running from.

Death – This one is pretty obvious. People run to be healthier and being healthier is supposed to lead to a longer life. However, there are a few reasons why this is not a good idea. First of all, we can’t run from death. No matter how healthy we may be, we are not going to get out of this alive. (This leads me to another point. Religious people talk about how great heaven is and how they want to get there, but they don’t want to get in a big hurry about it. In fact, they want to put it off as long as possible.)

Second, I think there are better ways to exercise and stay healthy. Swimming is a lot easier on the body, and cycling seems to be a lot more fun than pounding the sidewalk over and over.

Loneliness – This is my major theory. When I see someone running on a Friday or Saturday night, I immediately think that they don’t have someone to be with. Instead of sitting home alone, they fill their time by running. When people ask them about their weekend plans, they can say that they are going running. On top of that, they may meet someone with a similar interest along the trail.

Boredom – Directly connected to loneliness, I believe this is a major aspect. Instead of staring at a wall, they get outside and stare at the road ahead.

Themselves – A lot of people don’t like themselves. They don’t like their flaws. They don’t like their life. They don’t like the decisions they have made. Only, it’s impossible to run from ourselves and the demons that may be lurking inside us. No matter where we go we will always be there.

Addiction – This one is more personal. I have a friend who is a recovering alcoholic and addict. He hits the streets every night. I think he has replaced unhealthy addictions with a healthy one. I believe he and others have become addicted to running.

Godzilla – I haven’t seen the giant lizard stomping on buildings and spitting fire, but the last time I saw this many people running Godzilla was on the prowl.Godzilla

Look, I know people are going to read this and think, “Why is he making fun of people who are trying to be healthy?” Good for them. I like being healthy, too. That’s why I use the treadmill. People make fun of me, but it’s a way that I can exercise and read at the same time.

I am merely pointing out the fact that health is a good reason to run, but I don’t think it’s the only reason. What are all of these people running from? It could be a lot of things. In fact, it could be some things that people need to turn around and face.

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The Westerns of Dean Martin

11 Jun

I have been reading about the Rat Pack and the exploits of its members – Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Peter Lawford and Joey Bishop. Together, they were legendary. However, I have been thinking about their individual careers.

Obviously, Frank Sinatra is one of the most famous performers of all time.

Sammy Davis, Jr. also had a great career.

Peter Lawford is probably best known as a Kennedy in-law.

I’m not sure what else Joey Bishop did.

Dean Martin, though, is my favorite. He sang great songs and made great movies. Some of the best movies were Westerns. For a cool crooner, Martin was pretty handy on a horse and with a gun.

In my mind, his best Western was Rio Bravo, starring John Wayne, Ricky Nelson and Walter Brennan. Here’s a trivia question. How many people in Rio Bravo had records that reached Number 1? The movie is about a sheriff who has arrested the brother of a wealthy rancher. He and his deputies have to fight to keep him in jail and to stay alive. Martin plays Dude, a deputy who doubles as the town drunk.Dude

Another great thing, Rio Bravo was filmed at Old Tucson Studios, one of my favorite places to visit.

5 Card Stud is another good one. Martin plays Van Morgan, a gambler who has to solve a series of murders before he becomes the next victim.5 Card Stud

Everyone who is killed was playing in the same card game. It also stars Robert Mitchum and Inger Stevens but suffers from what I call the “law of diminishing suspects”. There are so few suspects that solving the mystery is too easy.

Bandolero! pairs Martin with James Stewart as brothers who have taken different paths but find themselves in trouble together.Bandolero

Along the way, they take Raquel Welch hostage.

My least favorite Dean Martin Western is The Sons of Katie Elder. It stars John Wayne and has the makings of a great story, but the “sons” are mismatched. The youngest “son” is way too young to play the part. I hate to say that a Western starring John Wayne and Dean Martin is bad, so I will say that it’s not very good.

Martin is the gambling brother, Tom Elder, and he follows older brother John in trying to figure out who killed their father. One of the best scenes has Martin playing a “fake eye” trick in a bar.The Sons of Katie Elder

Dean Martin made other Westerns, but these are the ones I have seen. Honestly, I don’t think I could make it through the comedy ones with Frank Sinatra.

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A Post About Posts

10 Jun

I am always fascinated by what brings people to this blog and what they read when they arrive. Occasionally, I will go over to the stats page and see where the posts rank in viewership, and, the other day, I did just that. Some I knew would be there. Others were a little surprising.Eleven

“The Problem With Gas Pumps“, as it has for months, stands at the top of the list. In the early days of this blog, I wrote a sarcastic view of gas pumps and how they think we are imbeciles. For a long time, no one read it. Then, it hit big. This post controlled this blog for a long time, and I can’t figure out why.

“Into the Sunset” brought a huge surprise when it was Freshly Pressed. The idea for this one kicked around in my head for a few days before I wrote it. When I got around to it, there was no plan. I just typed. When I got the email that said it had been noticed, I sat there stunned.

“Victorian Brothelese” was another early post and covers my research topic in graduate school. I am sure you noticed the word brothel in the title. You can imagine the search terms that get people to this one.

At some point, I came up with the bright idea to look for movie quotes that provide life lessons. My first attempt at this was “Movie Wisdom – Burt Reynolds Edition“. I’m not sure people are looking for wisdom from Burt, but, from the search terms, I know there are a lot of fans of Smokey and the Bandit out there.

At another point, I decided to use our fascination with lists as a topic and came up with Listeria, a combination of List and Hysteria. Get it. Listeria. Anyway, two of those posts have hit the big time. The first is “Listeria – Gunslingers Edition“, and the second is “Listeria – Western Actors Edition“. There seems to be another theme there, as well.

“The Good, the Bad and the Presidential” gets a lot of hits from folks trying to find out which of our presidents was any good. I’m not sure that I can help them, but I have provided a handy list of who I think was any good.

One of my personal favorites is “Dirty Deeds and Thunder Chief“, an examination of lyrics that people get wrong. You would be surprised at how many people search for the exact words in the title. Perhaps, I should write a fictional biography of Thunder Chief and throw them off track.

Another favorite is “Sometimes It’s a Western, Sometimes It’s a Porno“. I love the search terms that bring people to this one. I didn’t realize that were so many people wanting Western themed porn. Honestly, the porn studios are missing a real opportunity here. Unfortunately, this post isn’t what they are looking for.

One of the best experiences of my life was meeting a man named Tom Drake, and I wrote about it in “The Cullman Comet“. This is a post that I would like everyone to read. Truly, he is an interesting man.

Finally, another early post has worked its way toward the top. “A Requiem for Josey Wales” is an examination of one of my favorite movies. For years, my mom complained because my father, my brother and I watched it every time it came on television. Then, she watched it and liked it. This is a movie that should be required viewing for every human.

Those are the titles at the top of the charts. It’s probably cheesy to link a bunch of posts like that, but, from a personal view, it’s interesting to see what draws people to this blog. It looks like these are the ones.

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