Tag Archives: Annette Funicello

What If Johnny Ringo and Bandit Darville Made a Porn Movie and Called It “Listoeia Dwnuwo Maexco”

24 Mar

Do you ever look at the Search Terms that pop up in your Stats and wonder a few things? Who looks this stuff up? How did they get to this blog? When did spelling get thrown out of the window? I just looked through the Search Terms from the past 30 days and saw a few that stood out.

I decided to list a few, but there will be some additions. I may have a couple of comments, but the real fun will be visual. I am going to do an image search of each one and pick out the best photo.

listoeia dwnuwo maexco – Understand?

So, this is what a listoeia dwnuwo meaxco is.

So, this is what a listoeia dwnuwo meaxco is.

what does dreaming about sailing into the sunset on a motorcycle represent? – It means that you have invented a new mode of transportation, the floating motorcycle. I suggest you get a patent.

Nice boat

Nice boat

funicello guns – Annette made a lot of beach movies, but none of them involved shooting her way through an amphibious invasion.

Not a gun in sight.

Not a gun in sight.

frank sinatra and jesse james – Now, those two would have had fun together.

Brad Pitt made a movie about Jesse James and was in a remake of a Frank Sinatra classic. That is as close as I can get.

Brad Pitt made a movie about Jesse James and was in a remake of a Frank Sinatra classic. That is as close as I can get.

johnny ringo porn girls – Why Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked over your porn ‘stache.

It is the safest picture I could use. I just do not know how it got in the mix.

It is the safest picture I could use. I just do not know how it got in the mix.

watch the porn version of smokey and the bandit – If this exists, then I must watch it while having a Diablo sandwich and a Dr. Pepper.

The movie he wishes he had made.

The movie he wishes he had made.

dickersonroadwhores – You have to be from Nashville to understand this one, but I guarantee the girls on Dickerson Road know how to put spaces between words.

Yep, that is what happens on Dickerson Road.

Yep, that is what happens on Dickerson Road.

tombstone az 1 square fot deed souvineer – I have always wanted a fot as a souvineer.

Just try not to end up six fot under.

Just try not to end up six fot under.

imbeciles poem – I am honored that someone has described the imbecility of the world in iambic pentameter.

I have to buy this book.

I have to buy this book.

Anyway, that was my “I cannot think of anything else so I will write this” post of the month. I promise that better content is on its way.

Listeria – In Memoriam

31 Jan

This is the season of awards shows, and people tune in for all kinds of reasons. To see who is going to win what. To see who is going to wear what. To see who is going to say what. I watch the shows like everyone else does, but I am looking for something else. I am fascinated by the “In Memoriam” part. It is interesting to see how they are going to pay tribute to the people who have passed away in the past year. Who will get the most applause? Who will be shown in a film clip rather than in a photograph? Who passed away that I did not know about? Who will be left out?

That last question is always the most controversial. It would be impossible to show everyone, and difficult decisions have to be made. Inevitably, people are going to get mad. I even wrote a post about people who I thought were mistakenly left out of an Academy Awards presentation.

With all of that being said, I have decided to provide my own “In Memoriam” for the people who passed away in 2013. To accomplish this, I bought a copy of Farewell, a LIFE publication honoring the deceased. It is filled with people who I know a lot about and people who I have never heard of. As the great decision maker of who should be honored in the SBI World, there will some left out just like on the awards show. However, these are the ones who I want to remember.Candle

You will have to imagine the music in the background.

In no particular order:

Margaret Thatcher – The Iron Lady. I read somewhere that the Steely Dan song “Peg” was about her. I wonder if that is true.

Helen Thomas – the White House reporter who covered every president from Kennedy to Obama.

David Frost – the interviewer who gained widespread fame for his sessions with Richard Nixon.

Dr. Joyce Brothers – the television counselor who paved the way for all of the others. She got her start on television by winning The $64,000 Question.Joyce Brothers

Roger Ebert – the movie critic who gave us “thumbs up” or “thumbs down”.

Annette Funicello – the original sweetheart of the Mouseketeers. She also became the sweetheart of beach movies. My dad and I saw her perform at the Super Bowl.

Esther Williams – the champion swimmer who became the queen of water-based movie extravaganzas. She was one of my mom’s favorites.

Jean Stapleton – the actress who served as the foil for Archie Bunker.Jean Stapleton

Bonnie Franklin – the mother on One Day at a Time, one of the many socially conscious sitcoms of the 1970s.

Karen Black – the actress who was in one of my favorite movies, Nashville.

Jonathan Winters – the genius comedian who is a hoot in It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.

Harry Reems – the porn star who became a household name after appearing in Deep Throat, one of the most famous porn movies ever made.Harry Reems

Bobby “Blue” Bland – the blues singer who recorded, in my mind, the definitive version of “Stormy Monday”.

Patty Andrews – the last surviving member of The Andrews Sisters. If you have ever heard “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy”, then you have heard them at their best.

Patti Page – the singer of “The Tennessee Waltz”, one of my state’s official songs.

George Jones – the Possum. In my opinion, he is the greatest country singer to ever live. Unfortunately, his life was not as smooth as his voice.George Jones 2

J.J. Cale – the writer of “After Midnight”, “Cocaine” and a bunch of other great songs.

Lou Reed – the iconic singer who led The Velvet Underground and invited everyone to walk on the wild side.

Stan Musial – the Man. He was one of the greatest baseball players of all time.

Earl Weaver – the baseball manager best known for being thrown out of games. He was also a lover of the Earl Weaver Special, the three run home run.Earl Weaver

Art Donovan – the Baltimore Colt who gained more fame from his appearances of NFL Films.

Pat Summerall – the voice of the NFL who was also a fair placekicker.

Elmore Leonard – the writer who could create great characters and put great words in their mouths. His work was the inspiration for Justified, currently my favorite television show.Elmore Leonard

That is the completion of this blog’s “In Memoriam tribute”. Who would you put on the list?