Tag Archives: Imbeciles

What If Johnny Ringo and Bandit Darville Made a Porn Movie and Called It “Listoeia Dwnuwo Maexco”

24 Mar

Do you ever look at the Search Terms that pop up in your Stats and wonder a few things? Who looks this stuff up? How did they get to this blog? When did spelling get thrown out of the window? I just looked through the Search Terms from the past 30 days and saw a few that stood out.

I decided to list a few, but there will be some additions. I may have a couple of comments, but the real fun will be visual. I am going to do an image search of each one and pick out the best photo.

listoeia dwnuwo maexco – Understand?

So, this is what a listoeia dwnuwo meaxco is.

So, this is what a listoeia dwnuwo meaxco is.

what does dreaming about sailing into the sunset on a motorcycle represent? – It means that you have invented a new mode of transportation, the floating motorcycle. I suggest you get a patent.

Nice boat

Nice boat

funicello guns – Annette made a lot of beach movies, but none of them involved shooting her way through an amphibious invasion.

Not a gun in sight.

Not a gun in sight.

frank sinatra and jesse james – Now, those two would have had fun together.

Brad Pitt made a movie about Jesse James and was in a remake of a Frank Sinatra classic. That is as close as I can get.

Brad Pitt made a movie about Jesse James and was in a remake of a Frank Sinatra classic. That is as close as I can get.

johnny ringo porn girls – Why Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked over your porn ‘stache.

It is the safest picture I could use. I just do not know how it got in the mix.

It is the safest picture I could use. I just do not know how it got in the mix.

watch the porn version of smokey and the bandit – If this exists, then I must watch it while having a Diablo sandwich and a Dr. Pepper.

The movie he wishes he had made.

The movie he wishes he had made.

dickersonroadwhores – You have to be from Nashville to understand this one, but I guarantee the girls on Dickerson Road know how to put spaces between words.

Yep, that is what happens on Dickerson Road.

Yep, that is what happens on Dickerson Road.

tombstone az 1 square fot deed souvineer – I have always wanted a fot as a souvineer.

Just try not to end up six fot under.

Just try not to end up six fot under.

imbeciles poem – I am honored that someone has described the imbecility of the world in iambic pentameter.

I have to buy this book.

I have to buy this book.

Anyway, that was my “I cannot think of anything else so I will write this” post of the month. I promise that better content is on its way.

This Blog Has Evolved, But The Imbeciles Have Not

7 Feb

As you can probably tell from the title, this blog began as a place for biting commentary on the condition of humanity. It was a place to rail against the people and things that I found ridiculous about the world. I realize that was an arrogant mission, but I saw this as a place to vent without hurting anyone.

However, the blog has evolved. Now, I write about travel, music, movies, and funny things that happen. It is mostly light-hearted stuff about the things that I enjoy.

This change has come about for a couple of reasons.

First, I have changed. I found the love of my life, and that changed my view of the world.

Second, people I know started reading the blog, and I do not want to air my grievances out for everyone. It is one thing to write for people around the world and another to write for people down the street.

With all of that being said, I have found myself in a dark mood for the past several days. I have witnessed people acting like imbeciles, and that makes me want to divert back to my old writing ways. It also makes me wish that the real world was like the world we see on the screen.

Remember the kid that Billy Mumy played on The Twilight Zone? He was the one who could make anything happen just by thinking it. People were afraid to cross him because he could make them disappear or turn them into some kind of freakish toy.Billy Mumy

When someone does something completely ignorant, I imagine that I have that power.

Remember Josey Wales? When someone got in his way, he shot them and spit on their forehead. Lone Watie, his traveling companion, said, “I notice when you get to dislikin’ someone they ain’t around for long.” Captain Terrill, Josey’s enemy, said, “Not a hard man to track. Leaves dead men wherever he goes.”Josey Wales

When someone does something completely ignorant, I imagine that I have been dropped into the world of Josey Wales.

Obviously, these are things that are not done in polite society and are things that I would not do if I had the opportunity. However, that does not make me any less angry that I imagine the kid or Josey were supposed to be.

I used to be selfish in the fact that I would get angry when I felt someone had done something stupid that affected me. That was when I was a bachelor who lived alone. Now, I get angry when I feel that someone has done something stupid that affects my wife, my stepdaughter or the rest of my family.

I cannot be the kid on The Twilight Zone, and I cannot be Josey Wales. However, I can do everything in my power to protect them from the craziness. From the people who do not act before they think. From the people who only think of themselves. From the people who refuse to take responsibility for anything.

I am not perfect, and I have done some bad things in my life. I have hurt people. I have hurt myself. However, I always knew that many of the things were my fault. If I was the kid on The Twilight Zone or Josey Wales, then those are the people I would go after first – the ones who leave carnage in their wake and do not know who is causing it. They are the true imbeciles who surround us.