The Senator in the Coonskin Hat

17 Sep

Did you know that a Tennessean tried to end gambling in Las Vegas? Estes Kefauver was born in Madisonville, Tennessee and practiced law in Chattanooga. Interested in politics, he won a seat in the House of Representatives in 1939 and became a Senator in 1949. Kefauver’s trademark was wearing a coonskin hat.

During his time in the Senate, Kefauver became chairman of the Special Committee on Organized Crime and used this seat as a platform to gain national exposure. He attacked the influence of organized crime in the casinos of Las Vegas and urged the federal government to put a stop to legalized gambling in Nevada.

In 1952, Kefauver attempted to take advantage of his nationwide fame by running for president. His campaign failed, as did a run for the vice presidency in 1956. If Estes Kefauver had succeeded in his fight against legalized gambling, then what happens in Vegas would…not be all that much.

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Picture This – The International UFO Museum and Research Center

15 Sep

A couple of years ago, I ventured into Roswell, New Mexico and visited the International UFO Museum and Research Center. As you may know, Roswell is the home to one of the most famous UFO encounters. Apparently, there was a crash and a quick cover up by the military. This museum is dedicated to telling the story of that event and others like it.

The museum was what I expected. There were a lot of photographs, videos and eye-witness accounts. The research center had shelves filled with anything you would want to know about UFO’s. I found the register most interesting because it contained the names of people who I have seen on UFO documentaries through the years.

However, I came out of the museum with one surprise. It seems that Big Foot is an alien. I would have never guessed that.

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YouTubing

14 Sep

I don’t spend very much time on YouTube. Sometimes, my nephews get me to look at funny videos, but that’s for their amusement more than mine. However, I started playing around with it the other night and quickly realized why I have avoided it. YouTube is like following Alice down the rabbit hole. It’s like Hotel California where you can check out but never leave. Each video takes you into a maze of other ones until you can’t remember how it all began.

After several hours, I escaped when my iPad began to run out of battery. I tried to sleep, but the videos replayed through my mind. That’s when I had a blogging idea. I would search the first thing that came to my mind then choose the seventh video on the list. When that video was over, I would choose the seventh video in the list of videos that pop up on the side and see where this YouTubing adventure would take me.

So, here we go. Oh, I know this would be a better experiment if Surrounded by Imbeciles had video capability. Other cool blogs have it, but this site really isn’t that cool.

Hopefully, the site is cooler than this shirt.

Ok, the first thing that pops into my mind – The Eagles. I guess the Hotel California thing inspired me. The seventh video is….Hotel California with lyrics. Shocking, I know. What are “colitas” anyway?

I googled colitas, and this picture came up along with lots of photos of naked Latino women.

Now, on with the show. The seventh sidebar video is Survivor’s Eye of the Tiger with lyrics. There are no images of Rocky, Apollo or Clubber. It’s just a black screen with white letters.

To make up for that omission, here are the three boxing legends.

Going from tough guys to a not so tough guy, we have Michael Jackson and Beat It with lyrics. I’ve always wondered what he was beating exactly.

Hey kid, beat it!

Caught in a Michael Jackson loop, we get the disco era version and Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough. Man, the lyrics really take on a different meaning when you read them.

From here, we go to Hopsin and something called Ill Mind of Hopsin 5. He’s a rapper, and he’s pretty good.

The Man. The Myth. The Hopsin.

Alright, up pops one of my favorites, Eminem. Except, he isn’t rapping. It’s a comedy skit called Eminem Goes Back to High School.

The Oral Presentation

The next video is pretty funny. It’s called White Boy Drops Sick Beat. You have to watch this one.

From here, we get Top 10 Worst Infomercials. I didn’t watch it all, but it starts by showing the advantages of having a Tiddy Bear. Watch, and you will see.

And the Tiddy Bear said, “Hmmph. Urgggh. Mmamm.”

I’ll be honest. I don’t think I can top the Tiddy Bear, so I will just stop there. To recap, we went from Hotel California to Eye of the Tiger to Beat It to Don’t Stop Till you Get Enough to Hopsin to a scholastic Eminem to a white kid beatbox to the Tiddy Bear. Was the YouTubing experiment a success? I don’t know, but it ran my battery down again.

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Memories of a Day in September

11 Sep

Early in this foray into blogging, I wrote a post about collective memory – those moments in time when most people remember where they were and what they were doing when events happened. The attack on Pearl Harbor. The assassination of John F. Kennedy. The explosion of the Challenger. All of these are examples of moments of collective memory in American history. Obviously, today marks the anniversary of another time most people remember – the attacks on 9/11.

We all have memories, but it is difficult to hold on to them. Over time, we hear other people talk about their memories. We watch television reports over and over. Before we know it, that information gets combined with information we already have. For historians, memory is a tricky aspect of research. Obviously, it is important to hear the stories of people who took part in an event. However, those stories should be told as soon as possible because none of us are immune to hindsight.

I know where I was when the attacks on the World Trade Center took place. I was in my first semester of teaching, and, as the new kid on the block, I was volunteered to teach an off campus class. This meant getting up super early and driving to a police station in Nashville. There I would teach government employees who were working on their degrees.

On September 11, 2001, I was showing a video about Hernan Cortez conquering the Aztec. At some point during the movie, there was activity in the hallway, and one of the students, an employee of the FBI, kept checking his pager. Other than that, I sensed nothing going on.

When class was over, I walked through the hallway and passed an office with a television. It showed one of the towers with smoke coming out of it. I watched for a while before getting in my car and driving to school. I turned on the radio and called my girlfriend to see if she had heard. But, the call really wasn’t about what was happening in New York. She had broken up with me, and I was looking for any excuse to call her. I don’t remember much about the conversation, but I know it was one of the last conversations we had.

This is where my memory begins to fade. On that day, I knew that I would not forget anything that was going on, but that didn’t happen. As time passes some details begin to alter themselves. Did I call my parents to see if they were watching? I’m not sure. What did I do when I got to campus? I’m not sure about that, either.

I know that classes were cancelled not long after I arrived, and most people were watching television in the student lounge. Was I watching television in the lounge when the second plane hit, or did that happen while I was in the car? Did I watch as the towers fell? I honestly can’t tell you. I have seen those images so many times that it all gets jumbled up in my mind.

I am a historian, and this was a historic event. As it was all happening, I made a mental note to keep these moments clearly in my brain, but that hasn’t happened. I remember how I felt, but the details are slowly escaping me.

As a historian, I know that memoirs and interviews need to be studied carefully. As a person who experienced 9/11, it is difficult for me to explain to people that their memories may not be as accurate as they think. I’m not saying that memories are invalid. I’m saying that memories evolve through the years.

All of that was rambling, and I am not sure where I was headed when this post began. Posts about 9/11 will be all over the internet, and this is just one by a person who was in the middle of Tennessee when it happened. My memories aren’t important in the scope of that huge event. They are one part of a huge collection of memories – a collection that is changing all of the time.

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Movie Wisdom – Paul Newman Edition

10 Sep

In the past, I have listed the “stuff to live by” that can be found in the movies of Burt Reynolds, Don Knotts and Kevin Costner. This is the wisdom that can be found in the films of Paul Newman.

From Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

There ain’t nothin’ more powerful than the odor of mendacity!

You can’t buy back your life when it’s finished.

A family crisis brings out the best and the worst in every member of the family.

You can be young without money, but you can’t be old without it.

From The Hustler

A 25% slice of something big is better than a 100% slice of nothing.

From Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Don’t ever hit your mother with a shovel. It will leave a dull impression on her mind.

From The Towering Inferno

You know there’s… nothing that any of us can do to bring back the dead.

From The Color of Money

Money won is twice as sweet as money earned.

You gotta have two things to win. You gotta have brains and you gotta have balls.

From Fatman and Little Boy

It’s all about ass, isn’t it? Either you kick it… or you lick it.

From Cars

If you’re going hard enough left, you’ll find yourself turning right.

Respect the classics, man!

Ain’t no need to watch where I’m goin’; just need to know where I’ve been.

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Planetary Underwear, Mouse Ears and Unsolved Mysteries

7 Sep

There’s not much happening in my mind tonight, so I am going to break out the old Inspiro app to see what pops up. For those not in the know, Inspiro is designed to break writer’s block and pump out potential ideas. It produces word combinations and scenes that could inspire a story. Different sections create different things, but one thing is certain. Some weird stuff comes out of it.

The Muse

Early American prostitutes first thing in the morning– This has some real possibilities – especially for an expert in historical prostitution like me. This post is supposed to be an attempt at entertainment, but this line is thought-provoking. Prostitution was rampant in the British colonies and throughout the Revolutionary period. Heck, it has always been rampant. Morning is just as good a time to get a prostitute as any other.

This is a lot more fun than dumping tea in the water.

Handmade underwear on Uranus– Isn’t underwear designed to cover Uranus?

Put on some drawers!

Silent tubas in the 1930s– I think tubas are just as good silent as noisy. Think about marching bands. Tubas can be used as a dancing prop. They can be used to form words. In the 1930s, they could have been used as shelter by hobos.

Yes, there are such people.

Scenarios

A woodpecker involved in a love triangle with an alligator – I can hear Troy from Swamp People now. “What’s he doin’ to that peckerwood? Choot ’em! Choot ’em!”

Laugh your way out of this one, Woody.

A mouse sitting on top of your best friend– Uh, dude. There’s something on your head.

It could be worse…Actually, it couldn’t.

A prostitute sitting on top of a gangster –This has never happened. Who would even think something like this?

When I Googled “prostitute sitting on top of a gangster”, this is not the image that I expected to pop up.

The Daydream Machine

A dirty mind can be poetry– There once was a man from Nantucket…Well, you can fill in the rest of it.

I have found the church for me.

The unknowable is sometimes mystery –Sometimes but not all of the time.

The real mystery: how many times did Robert Stack have plastic surgery?

The AntiChrist looks like hot sex– This is exactly what I learned in church. No wonder I haven’t been back.

Google AntiChrist, and you will see that the AntiChrist does not look like hot sex. He looks like two people: George Bush and Barack Obama.

That’s it. I’m finished being inspired by Inspiro. Next time, I will try to write a real post.

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Poppelgangers

6 Sep

Have you ever noticed that pop culture is a copycat entity? If there is a popular game show that offers a million dollar prize, then other shows are created that offer million dollar prizes. If there is a show about crime scene investigators, then there are other shows where DNA is the secret to solving crimes. This is something that has happened in pop culture since there has been pop culture.

However, there is another phenomenon out there. On that occasion when the stars are aligned correctly, two people will have the same idea at the exact same time. This doesn’t create copycats. It creates poppelgangers, pop cultural twins, that appear and, at times, disappear simultaneously. Like doppelgangers, there is a good one and an evil one. I will list five and distinguish the good from the evil. If you can think of any let me know.

The Addams Family and The Munsters

The family that preys together stays together.

Description: A family of monsters lives in a mansion and faces daily hijinks that the audience is supposed to laugh at.

Good Twin: The Munsters – Based on classic movie monsters, this show had some truly funny episodes. On top of that, they had a cool car and a cool, guitar-driven theme song. Plus, there was Herman’s forehead and the lovely Yvonne De Carlo, one of the hottest actresses who ever graced the screen.

Evil Twin: The Addams Family – First, it was based on some kind of comic instead of literary characters. Second, the characters were too weird and gave me a headache each time I watched it. I give it props for having a memorable theme song and having Carolyn Jones all tangled up in goth. I have a thing for goth, but it’s not enough.

Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie

In a magical showdown, they used the “turn your enemy into a doll” trick simultaneously.

Description: A hot blonde with magical powers gets her man in trouble on a weekly basis with those magical powers.

Good Twin: This is a difficult one, but I am going with I Dream of Jeannie. Barbara Eden’s outfit was very revealing and her pillow-filled living space looked like a good place to….rest. Larry Hagman played her master, which prepared him for role of power-broker J.R. Ewing in Dallas. The show was also propaganda for the space program. USA! USA!

Evil Twin: It pains me to say it, but it has to be Bewitched. Derwood, Dagwood, Darren. Whatever his name was, he was played by two actors. That’ll mess up a show every time. Elizabeth Montgomery was awesome, but I would have liked to seen more of her. One of those witchy Halloween costumes would have helped. However, what truly made this evil was the inclusion of Agnes Morehead, her mother, and Paul Lynde.

Tombstone and Wyatt Earp

Don’t shoot the messenger, but you have some food stuck in your moustache.

Description: Wyatt Earp gets everyone shot at the OK Corral except for himself. Afterwards, he goes on a vengeful campaign to kill the people who killed his brother.

Good Twin: This is another tough decision because I like both. However, Tombstone is the good twin. Why? Val Kilmer is an awesome Doc Holliday, and he utters cool line after cool line. In addition, I believe this movie shows a more accurate portrayal of the gunfight. The historian in me had to say that.

Evil Twin: While Val Kilmer makes a better Doc Holliday, Kevin Costner makes a better Wyatt Earp. That should put this movie in the “good” category, but there just isn’t enough there. One more thing, it’s too long. The foreshadow scene at the beginning and the flashback scene at the end could have been done away with.

The Matrix and The Thirteenth Floor

Everyone has seen The Matrix poster, so here is The Thirteenth Floor poster. Pretty cool, huh?

Description: A computer expert discovers that his world is actually a computer program.

Good Twin: The Thirteenth Floor. Never heard of it? That’s because The Matrix explosion obliterated it. But, I don’t care about that. The Thirteenth Floor has three levels of “reality”. There is the one that the computer guy lives in. There is the one he travels into. Then, there is future Los Angeles that he ends up in. It also has Gretchen Mol, and you can’t go wrong with that.

Evil Twin: The Matrix. First, Keanu Reeves is the savior of mankind. I don’t feel good about our prospects in that scenario. Sure, Laurence Fishburne makes things cool, but wouldn’t you have rather seen Samuel L. Jackson in that role. “AGENT SMITH! I’M GOING TO FUCK YOU UP!”

The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family

Please, just don’t sing.

Description: A family full of kids that wear primary-colored clothes get into crazy situations and sometimes sing.

Good Twin: This is an easy one because The Brady Bunch was awesome. Marcia was so much of a knockout that she got Joe Namath and Davey Jones to come to the house. The other kids were a little whiny, but the relationship between Alice and Sam the Butcher made up for that. Behind the scenes, the oldest son was making a play for the mom. How can you beat a story like that? Enquiring minds want to know.

Evil Twin: The Partridge Family was another show that gave me a headache. That red-headed kid was a disaster, and Shirley Jones could not hold a candle to Florence Henderson. The manager was kind of creepy. The one daughter was cool, but the entire show would have been a lot better if they didn’t sing so much. Oh yeah, the bus was ok if you were going to Woodstock.

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One Night in Vegas

4 Sep

Crazy stuff happens in Las Vegas. Just ask Prince Harry or the guys from The Hangover. It’s a place where you expect the unexpected. It could be something tame like locking your keys in the car at Hoover Dam – with the car running. Or, it could be something crazy like, I don’t know, getting a bunch of women to visit your suite and play strip billiards. Whatever the case, it seems that everyone who goes to Vegas comes back with a story.

This is the story from my last visit.

As the cab took us to check in at The Mirage, the hotel with the erupting volcano in front of it, my girlfriend noticed the sign in front of Caesar’s Palace. Elton John was performing that week, and she wanted to go badly.

I never understood what a volcano had to do with a desert mirage.

After getting the room situated, we walked through the mall at Caesar’s and made our way to the box office. The Caesar’s mall is designed to look like the Roman Forum and is filled with fancy stores. Since the Roman Forum was outside, this mall is designed to look like its outside.

It never rains in the mall at Caesar’s Palace.

The lady at the box office said that the show was sold out, but we might have an opportunity to get in. The first three rows were reserved for high rollers, and they probably wouldn’t fill all of the seats. If we would come back a few minutes before the start of the show we could get a couple of those seats.

We went back to the box office ten minutes before showtime and got third row seats FOR FREE. We walked down there like we were somebody. If the people in the upper deck only knew. Anyway, the show was great. Elton John’s piano was right in front of us, and the stage wasn’t very tall. It was like seeing him in a piano bar. They showed cool videos with each song, and he explained what each one meant.

Then, the usher walked up and tapped me on the shoulder. I thought this is it. Some high roller decided that he wanted the tickets, and we were going to get kicked out. Instead, the usher said:

“During the next song, you need to go onstage.”

“What?”

“During the next song, everyone in the first three rows gets to go onstage and dance.”

When the next song started, I grabbed my girlfriend and said, “Let’s go!”

“Where are we going?”

“Up there.”

Dozens of people danced around Elton’s piano as we danced to “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting“. The linked video shows a similar scene. I hung around the lead guitarist because I wanted to see what he was doing. Balloons fell around us as Elton played and sang. It was one of the coolest things ever.

Yep, it didn’t take long to get from “Light Blue 4” to the stage.

When we got back home, I told everybody about it. Some thought we made it up. Others thought it was cool. My more close-minded friends went another direction with stuff like:

“Did Elton get your number?”

“I bet they only invited guys up there.”

“I hope you stuck close to your girlfriend.”

You know, crap like that. I don’t care. I still thought it was great.

As we left the concert, my girlfriend and I were still talking about being onstage. We walked through the mall to get back to The Mirage and were not paying attention to where we were going. As we turned a corner, I literally ran into this guy.

Hey, what the fuck?

That’s right. After dancing around Elton John’s piano, I almost knocked over Ozzy Osbourne.

I didn’t get anyone to play strip billiards with me, but that was my best night in Las Vegas.

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I’m Not a Parrothead in the Purest Sense of the Word

3 Sep

I have been to several Jimmy Buffett concerts. I don’t have a detailed memory of the first few, but some of the others have stuck with me. Once, I watched my friend try to operate a pair of crutches after an evening of libations. Another time, I remember the entire concert but can’t remember leading the Waffle House in a Jimmy Buffett sing-a-long afterwards. The last time I saw him, downtown Nashville flooded as the Cumberland River rose to unbelievable levels.

The concert was a few blocks from here.

However, I do not consider myself a Parrothead. I do not follow Jimmy around the country while wearing a Hawaiian shirt. I don’t wear a shark fin on my head. I don’t wear a flower necklace and a grass skirt. Heck, I don’t even like his straight up beachy songs as well as I like his more subtle beachy songs.

This came to mind because one of my favorite Jimmy Buffett songs (“Pencil Thin Mustache” is my favorite one.) always pops into my head on Labor Day. Why? Because it mentions Labor Day. To get the song out of my mind and to commemorate the holiday, I offer a picture of Jimmy Buffett and the lyrics to “Come Monday“.

He’s done well for someone with one No. 1 hit.

Headin’ out to San Francisco

For the Labor Day weekend show.

I’ve got my Hush-Puppies on.

I guess I never was meant for glitter rock and  roll.

And honey, I didn’t know

That I’d be missin’ you so.

Come Monday, it’ll be all right.

Come Monday, I’ll be holdin’ you tight.

I spent four lonely days in a brown L. A. haze,

And I just want you back by my side.

Yes, it’s been quite a summer,

Rent-a-cars and west-bound trains,

And now you’re off on vacation.

Somethin’ you tried to explain.

And darlin’, since I love you so

That’s the reason I just let you go.

Come Monday, it’ll be all right.

Come Monday, I’ll be holdin’ you tight.

I spent four lonely days in a brown L. A. haze,

And I just want you back by my side.

I can’t help it honey.

You’re that much a part of me now.

Remember that night in Montana

When we said there’d be no room for doubt.

I hope you’re enjoyin’ the scenery.

I know that it’s pretty up there.

We can go hikin’ on Tuesday.

With you, I’d walk anywhere.

California has worn me quite thin.

I just can’t wait to see you again.

Come Monday, it’ll be all right.

Come Monday, I’ll be holdin’ you tight.

I spent four lonely days in a brown L. A. haze,

And I just want you back by my side.

I spent four lonely days in a brown L. A. haze,

And I just want you back by my side.

Oh yeah, I also like it because San Francisco is one of my favorite cities. Maybe I should write a post about that.

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Viva La Blue Chairs

31 Aug

The blue chairs have returned. Last night, I received a message that something had happened, but I wasn’t sure until I walked into work this morning. Lo and behold, the chairs were in their rightful place. Revolutionaries had struck and undone the work of a so-called interior decorator.

Like many who have fought the establishment, the revolutionaries left their mark. Zorro had the Z. The anarchist in V for Vendettahad the V. The Blue Chair Gang left the upside down 4. Due to potential copyright infringement and further displays of the symbol, I will not reproduce the upside down 4. Just know that it is blue and looks like a stick figure chair.

This representation is as close to the symbol as I am willing to get.

Now that the revolution has begun, I am wondering what will happen next. Will there be a movement for more vending machines? Will there be demands for motion sensor lights that don’t go out during tests? Will people strap themselves to the frisbee golf baskets to protest the need for more holes?

Only time will tell, but one thing is certain. The blue chairs are back.

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